Can I join this group please!!

[Tieko]

I am about to move in with my partner in only a few weeks!! I'm so excited...we have been together for a while, and already have a place which he is living in, however I have been waiting till the end of the school year before moving with my 2 boys as I didn't want to disrupt their schooling/kindy as we will be moving towns! My two boys are from a previous marriage, which I separated from over 2 1/2 years ago now. The boys dad still lives interstate but somehow manages to still cause us grief and I will be going to mediation for the first time this week!

My little boys love my partner..in fact my youngest tells him to ask me to marry him :D so it's definately a positive thinkg to have such great approval from the kiddies! My partner has never dated a mummy before me so I think he is doing fantastically considering, but I am worried that living with us full time wont be as easy for him as staying over a few nights a week at our house! Does anyone have any great tips/advice to offer when it comes to merging pre-made families? How did your partner/yourself cope with entering a pre-made family full-time? We plan to try and conceive a bub of our own sometime next year :bee:. I look forward to getting to know you all :wave:

[moofoo]

hi tieko and welcome,
I'm on the other side of the fence my partner has a son, I'm now a full time sm. Personally I've taken the sp role pretty hard but I do think men are better equipped for this situation.
I have friends that have become sd's and are doing great.
I think its important to have a united front and always talk through discipline, treats, etc to make him feel like he has an important role too.
I'm lucky my partner has done this with me as he was also a sd before but found it hard as she wouldn't let him have any say, if he tried to she would say he wasn't the father. I know he struggled to find his place.
p.s. It hasn't been all bad for me but a mother is the one that does most of the nurturing, I struggle with this sometimes, were also trying to have one together which has made me a bit resentful (i need ivf)
congratulations and look forward to hearing more from you :-)

[brizbabe71]

I am about to move in with my partner in only a few weeks!! I'm so excited...we have been together for a while, and already have a place which he is living in, however I have been waiting till the end of the school year before moving with my 2 boys as I didn't want to disrupt their schooling/kindy as we will be moving towns! My two boys are from a previous marriage, which I separated from over 2 1/2 years ago now. The boys dad still lives interstate but somehow manages to still cause us grief and I will be going to mediation for the first time this week!

My little boys love my partner..in fact my youngest tells him to ask me to marry him :D so it's definately a positive thinkg to have such great approval from the kiddies! My partner has never dated a mummy before me so I think he is doing fantastically considering, but I am worried that living with us full time wont be as easy for him as staying over a few nights a week at our house! Does anyone have any great tips/advice to offer when it comes to merging pre-made families? How did your partner/yourself cope with entering a pre-made family full-time? We plan to try and conceive a bub of our own sometime next year :bee:. I look forward to getting to know you all :wave:

congrats nad hope it works well

As a BM and a SM-who has had to deal with a horrific ex partner on dps side-don't alolow your exs cr@p consume you or your new partner.
Be aware that just because your child has a "father" that doesnt live with you doesn't mean he has any say on household rules etc.

[SimplyMum]

Be open and breathe before you let off steam. Remember it is hard for him as well and sometimes he's not going to understand the mum/maternal things going on inside. Talk. Be open to allowing him time away and time to himself as well as yourself. Understand that it will be hard for you as well as him. Set a time frame to stick it out too and if you have continuous thoughts about it not working than do something but don't act on impulse with these feelings. Think things through.