Miss my girl

[Mataamua]

Hello and thankyou for all your advice and support and kind words...

[MumofMadd]

Sorry i'm not in your situation and i cant even imagine what your going through big:hugs: for you.

[Mamaduke]

Firstly, what a terrible thing you're going through...:hugs:
I've never been in your situation so I cannot relate, but the thing that stood out in your post was that your partner does not get along with your daughter and is glad that she doesn't come over as often.
This is your daughter, and a partner who cannot accept and get along with your child is not, in my opinion, a decent person.
Your little girl is part of you & how can he love you yet not accept someone who came from you?
I would not ever ever let a man come between me and my child, and you shouldn't have to choose between your child & a man - there's simply no contest.
Good luck & I hope things work out for you and your girls.

[Blessed Mum]

Sorry I haven't been in ur shoes either & by no means would I judge you. I want to say I too could not imagine how torn you must feel. It does seem a little unfair that you feel like you should or need to choose. For me personally I agree with Mamaduke there would be no contest between a man & my child. However I understand u now have a child to your partner - is that right? What a horrible situation. Oh mate I wish I could tell u what to do but I can't, I can only say what I would do as I have already. I really hope things work out for you & your children. You will find support here & have some of these as well :hugs: .

[Jo_Jo]

My daughter left last year to be with her dad and i had full custody of her for 5 years but at 14 decided to live with dad, i let her go as i new she would be back her father has some problems that i won,t go in to...at the time i had just had ethan and it devastated me the hollow feeling i had inside of me when she left was the worst feeling ever i cried every day here i was with a new baby to enjoy but i was so sad not having her with me and not knowing what she was up to drove me insane, but 4 months later she rang me and said i want to come home, she was about 40 min away and at the time would come home every second weekend....so now a year on she is working partime has a lovely boyfriend and i have my daughter back, i understand how you would be feeling loss, and your partner not adapting when she stays would make her and you feel like ****, look all situations are different but your partner needs to show you compassion for how you are feeling all i can say is me as a mum to feel whole i need to be near my kids as they are growing into adults, 40 min away was all i could handle, anymore and i would be really thinking of a new plan to see them more often! goodluck to you and your family as these times are so hard:hugs: :hugs:


cheers...jo:o

[Fitmumma]

I know exactly how you feel, I broke up with my ex 10 years ago & left my then 4yr old DS#1 & 2yr old DS#2 with him & it has been the absolute WORST decision of my life, my sons are now 13 & 11, their father does everything in his power to keep my sons from me because he is so insecure.
He doesnt follow any of the court orders we had drawn up 8 years ago & he makes up HIS rules as he goes along, it is an absolute nightmare.:mad:
I am lucky enough to be remarried to a wonderful man who treats my sons as if they were his own (my ex is so immature that he hates my husband for this reason) my husband & I have a little boy (2.5) and a baby girl together (3mnths) and he treats all my children the same, I would not have had children with my beautiful DH if he could not love my two older boys also.
I am currently in the process of going back to court to get new orders to see my boys more and because my ex wont let me see them (just to punish me).
You have to do the best with a bad situation, if your current partner cannot get along with your older daughter he needs to understand that she is your daughter and that you will do whatever it takes to make her feel happy & loved.
I wish I could rewind the 10 years to the day I made that decision & totally change it, in hindsight I would never have left my boys, my heart aches that I did.:crying:
It has taught me that I will do whatever it takes to stay in my current marriage because I want to spend every day with my little boy & baby girl.
I hope everything works out for you & your precious children:fingerscrossed:

[3boys1girl]

Can you go back to court and ask for them back?

[Fitmumma]

Can you go back to court and ask for them back?

There have recently been new laws come into place with regards to children & custody, etc.
The courts now like the children to spend equal time with each parent, so I am currently in the process of applying for new orders & hoping the court agrees to it.
I am also placing a contravention against my ex for breaching our old orders ( he is refusing to let me see or speak to my boys), which means he will be told he has to follow the orders or they can jail or fine him.
It all takes time though which is so hard, my little boy loves his two big brothers & is always asking for them.
The funny thing is my ex is always claimimg he is doing the BEST thing for the boys, but all of his selfish actions over the years have only hurt them. It is sad.:crying:
The one thing I hold on to is the fact that children are not children for long & very soon my boys will be grown up & they will see him for what he is.