I just smacked ds :(

[meggie09]

Im so angry at myself. Ds who is 4 has been a bit tricky lately (about 6 mths) anyway im 25 weeks pregnant with twins and dd is almost 1. He was being really naughty and i asked him to stop sn he turned around and punched dd in the back and it really hurt her. So as a reaction i smacked him. Im feeling awful about it.

[meggie09]

Am i a bad parent? Im really upset that i just lost it like that.

[SuperGranny]

hi meggie, we are all human, we all have had the odd time when we just snap. You have done nothing wrong, you have just reacted quickly to the situation. If you had thought about it you probabley wouldnt have smacked. You have just had one quick reaction, and Im sure there has been no harm done. Give your little one a cuddle, and try to not do it again. But we are all human, and Im sure everyone one of us has done the same thing in the same situation, so dont stress about it. Hugs, Marie.

[BOSS302WMOM]

I would say no, I have done this not intentionally just reacted. I felt really bad and "sucked up" to make dd feel better which probably made it worse. It did not hurt though I would not say your a bad parent but that is just me it is not like you kept going after the first and you feel bad.

[RoarsomeMum]

You feel like a bad parent.. I think that is enough to indicate your not!

Somedays being the perfect parent is damn near freaking impossible..

if you want to, and feel up to it, perhaps Sit down with your little fella and tell him your sorry.. that sometimes Mummies are naughty too.. :hugs:

[Blueberry Crumble]

This situation happened to me EXACTLY the other day! DS (who is 3) was throwing a tantrum, and to get a reaction from me he went up to his 6 month old sister and whacked her across the head. My first reaction was to whack him back, across the arm and shoulder blade. I didnt even have time to think, it just happened by instinct right away, I guess it was the instinct to protect my daughter, who is more vulnerable that him/.

Felt bad after, and we apologised to each other and gave cuddles. I have never smacked him before, but I am not going to get myself upset about it because I am only human.

[meggie09]

Thanks guys, and i have been sucking up, im pretty disgusted with myself and ive explained that i was naughty and that nobody should hit anyone. It doest stop me feeling like this but :(

[kt007]

Hey - it's good that you said sorry and explained that sometimes mummys do the wrong thing. Now you need to give yourself a cuddle because you haven't done anything wrong.

[SalTheGal]

Oh Meggie, you are far from being a bad mum....its so easy to react like that in the heat of the moment....

I have done the same thing on occasion, and I ALWAYS apologise to DS, to let him know I acknowledge I did the wrong thing, we have a rule in our house that there is no hitting, and that includes me...so the fact that you apologised is exactly what I would do too....

Lots of hugs for your DS today, and I bet he is over it already!!!!

[~Candy~]

Ohh noooo, according to this forum...you had better get counselling and someone should tell DOCS..you did a very bad thing :shame:


*Not MY opinion...just some responses from another "smacking" thread!

MY personal opinion...yes, I would have smacked him too.

[FionaV]

I would have smacked him, too.

[MummaBear03]

I smacked DD (who's 6) twice on the leg in front of 2 cops. Long story as to why they were here, but she did wrong and knew she did wrong and they actually said that there is nothing illegal about smacking, never did any harm when we were growing up, and if more parents were capable of disciplining their children effectively, which often requires smacking, they would not see half the stuff they see in regards to disrespectful children. This whole "no yelling, no smacking" business has gone way out of hand. If you are angry or if you are losing control, walk away, there's no point risking it, however a smack and a firm voice is often the only way kids learn if they haven't learnt from being spoken to.

My opinion on this won't change, and I believe that anyone who thinks it's wrong is unsure of the difference between discipline and abuse.

[my_lot]

I dont think smacking a child for smacking is a good thing at all.

But I dont think you are a bad parent.

Could you look back and see what your boiling point was and work out what you can do next time when you feel it getting to that point next time?

I have one child that pushes all the buttons and gets time out still, even at 10 years old. It works for us, for that one of our children.

[BabelFish]

Meggie you're far from a bad Mum. And not only that, you have a lot of stress in your life and are pregnant with twins!

We all make mistakes, I think you handled it really well by apologising to him afterwards and having cuddles. Forgive yourself - I'm sure he has.

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

It's great that you are trying to be a non smacker. I don't think you are a bad mum at all, just human.

We all have days where we do things we regret. Just keep doing the best you can.:hugs:

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

I smacked DD (who's 6) twice on the leg in front of 2 cops. Long story as to why they were here, but she did wrong and knew she did wrong and they actually said that there is nothing illegal about smacking, never did any harm when we were growing up, and if more parents were capable of disciplining their children effectively, which often requires smacking, they would not see half the stuff they see in regards to disrespectful children. This whole "no yelling, no smacking" business has gone way out of hand. If you are angry or if you are losing control, walk away, there's no point risking it, however a smack and a firm voice is often the only way kids learn if they haven't learnt from being spoken to.

My opinion on this won't change, and I believe that anyone who thinks it's wrong is unsure of the difference between discipline and abuse.

I think it does a lot of harm, and there are plenty of other things you can do. I have seen children learn who have not been smacked or yelled at. How do you look after children at childcare? Are you saying the only effective way of disciplining them or getting them to listen is through smacking?

[BabelFish]

:iagree:

Just because it isn't illegal, doesn't mean it's ok as a matter of course. And I also disagree that it never did any harm when we were growing up. I still remember certain times when I was smacked that were really horrible (and these were just `normal' smacks), and it's those times that make me never, ever want to smack my child.

I'm not saying I won't - as meggie has done, we are all human. But you can be sure I'll be apologising and trying my absolute best not to let it happen.

[kel83]

I wouldnt be worrying or feeling bad at all. My sister & i were brought up in the way if we were naughty we got a smack, we were both well behaved as kids & have turned out just fine. My DH was brought up in the same way.

[mygrl]

I think its really a personal thing. Obv there are limits, but a smack when a child is being naughty in my eyes is ok. Look how our parents were raised, with belts and all........... im not saying its ok but i also dont think its the worst thign in the world......
Dont feel bad hun, just learn from it and remember how you felt the next time you go to do it, we are all human :)

[Sunnygal]

Hunny your only human! I guarnatee 99% of mums have lost them temper and given their child a smack, heck I have done it numerous times! Im not proud of it, I apologise to my son, and we move on... There is so much pressure today on being perfect 100% of the time, and having children behave like angels 100% of the time - its not going to happen, all we can do is learn from our mistakes and move on :hugs:

[jessali mum]

I have smacked both my kids who are now 17 and 14, I was smacked as well, there is a huge difference though in physically abusing your child and giving them a smack. I work for the police so I see and hear a lot on this. Do not feel bad you are not a child abuser you are a parent that reacted to a situation.

Does a smack do harm, NO! Does abuse cause harm, it can. My father was physically abused as a child, back covered in scars for the rest of his life, yes he did smack us, I remember I got one for stealing a chocolate when I was 7 and one when I was a bit younger for something else. Yes he smacked but very very very far from being an abuser.

[trillian82]

I try not to use smacking in the first instance but you know what, sometimes nothing else is working and I've had enough. Unlike some of the other posters, I don't think smacking is necessarily wrong. I'm not a bad mum and neither are you.