I did it!!

[ConcernedParent]

Well fellow bub hubbers, I did it!! I can't believe it. I survived the deployment. DH gets home on Monday and I did it!!

I went down in a heap before he left, (unlike me), and sorta died. Crying at the drop of a hat, bursting into tears as soon as I saw him despite missing him all day. Almost mourning. I didn't understand it, but there I was... a total mess.

After he left I just got on with it. For a while there I was numb, but then I moved out of that and the kids and I had some great mummy moments. We really enjoyed our time together and tried some new things dad wouldn't be interested in.

When he came home for ROCL I was really motivated to enjoy our time together, (we both were), and there were no tears or anything, (from me - but him yes), just a great two weeks. :) Fantastic, in fact!

I let him go second time around with a different attitude, full of confidence of what was ahead bc I knew what to expect and that I could finish it off.

The gifts of deployment - beautiful handwritten letters to myself and to each of the kids. Hours of skype at nights. Challenges to internet poker and facebook quizzes / games. Racy chats :laughing:But mostly talking about our future together, our hopes and dreams for our family and planning for post deployment.

Now... that day is nearly here. I can't believe it. Don't get me wrong - it was hard, at times really hard - I mean once I even sent the kids to school without lunch I was so flustered,(Exams!! Thank God for the school who knew & rang me and told me they were having tuckshop that day); but I did it and he's just sent me a letter telling me he's really proud of me.

If this is you and you are in any one of these stages - I send you lots of strength and best wishes and wish you all the best for your deployment.

Roll on Monday!!

[remi378]

Good on you!!! Woot!! Your tougher thank you think. Glad he got back safe.

My dp goes in march eeek!!

[Seacretsquirrel]

Well done it is hard when they are away. DH is Navy so is away often (though for shorter times) I too find that I am shocking for a couple of days before he goes (much like you were) but once he is gone I pull together.

Yipeee for him coming home safe:smiliedance::smiliedance::smiliedance:

[MothersMilk]

Well done. It is always nice when they come home and you realise you did it - you got through it and were okay.
I have been through a few deployments (DH is raaf) and i always think i won't be okay but then i always am.
YAY on your DH coming home :goodvibes: Enjoy your time together :D

[ConcernedParent]

remi378 - I wish you all the best and send you all the good vibes for March. It's a hard slog but you get into a rhythm. Be kind to yourself as you get closer to the date - that's when I was the worst.

SeacretSquirrel - I don't know how you navy wives/partners do it!! I take my hat off to you. I have read your posts on this page for years and you guys have really helped me to get through so much stuff... you're all legends.

MothersMilk - I think that was it - I thought I wouldn't be ok, and was so stressed out but then there I was, and I found I was fine and then just got going. It was the anticipation that did it.

Thank you everyone for the kind words... it means a lot.

My heart goes out to the people still on deployment, their wives/partners and kids. I sincerely hope they all come home safe and you all get to have your own welcome home celebration.

(((hugs)))

[Bellini]

That's excellent news that you pulled through such a tough time, well done :goodvibes::yelclap:

My DH is coming home from a mini deployment (6 weeks) on Sunday, and I am so excited I can hardly contain myself lol. I agree with your post, it did get easier, even though it was no-where near as long as a regular deployment. I think it has prepared me for the next one, in a way. I'm just glad I have family in Townsville to keep me occupied!

Hope you enjoyed some precious time together when he returned :)

[elleandsam]

You should be very proud of yourself, surviving a deployment is by no means easy. And give your kids and cuddle and tell them you're proud of them too. I remember going through dad's deployments when I was a kid, that was before email and skype, one phone call a week and I got 2 minutes (timed so it was fair) to talk to him. That was rough. I know when Dad deploys next year that it won't be as bad.

Make sure you enjoy your time together when he gets back on Monday, but I'm sure you will.

Well done.

[JJJRain-crew]

firstly, Yay 4 you, good work...

secondly, I agree you dont know how you do it but you just do somehow LOL... although my experiances dont nearly match yours (6months away with one week in between when we saw each other)... and that was without littlies...

8 months must seem like forever, even three months seems like such an effort cause so much changes...

guess I should get used to it too now, sigh...
ever ask yourself what you have gotten yourself into?LOL, I seem to be asking that a bit lately LOL...

anyway, good for you:thumbsup: :flowerz: you did it, your one tough cookie :)

[kittykatty]

Well done!

It's good to hear a positive story about deployments amidst all the horror stories! Makes me feel just a tiny bit more confident about dhs one in Jan.

Enjoy your reunion!

[ConcernedParent]

Well things didn't quite go to plan...

We didn't make it home... we got half way from the airport before I called the ambulance - they met us in the driveway. After 7 hours in ED his pain was brought under control at 6am. The drugs just didn't work despite given enough to knock out an elephant. He's not been home yet and is in a neuro ward.

Today, Wednesday, his pain is now under control. He is able to mobilise but only as far as the bathroom, any further and he needs assistance. He is on a bunch of pain tabs and anti-inflams & is on 150ml peth needles twice a day.

His MRI showed a bulging disc between his C6 & C7 in his neck. He will be in hosp until Fri so they can manage the pain and do physio. The doc will make a decision on Friday about surgery. If he has surgery - they will take the disc out. He's had neck and shoulder pain for a while but put it down to stress. He had the pain radiating down his arm and into his hand for 4 weeks. When he went to the doc put him on pain meds, voltaren and they managed it with physio. They took x-rays and could see the bulge... Pi$$ poor if you ask me bc I felt he needed to come home - at least to Darwin for treatment.

When he came home on Monday night, no care or consideration had been given to his travelling arrangements. He had 4 heavy bags which he was not assisted with; and no thought was put into how someone with an injured neck would travel. By the time he reached home he was in agony. That was enough for me, I went straight up to the Welfare Officer and said we are not staying behind for the brief - I was taking him straight to hospital. He got some guys to help with the bags.

In ED they gave him so many pain meds they eventually ran out of stuff to give him. None of it worked. Just made things worse. I now know what a man goes through to watch his wife in agony in labour bc that's what it looked like to me. Wave after wave of spasms lasting about 2-3 minutes.

When the anaesthetist came and ordered 10m of ketamine (sp) they hooked him up to a crash cart before giving it to him bc they'd given him that many opiates. Ketamine only worked a bit. Eventually they put him on a double dose morphein self administered (PCA), despite him being allergic (apparently the allergy was quite common), which seemed to work but only for 10-15mins at a time.

By the time that was used up they knew they were transferring him - so they just knocked him out. And that's pretty much how they have been managing it. When it gets too much - they knock him out.

But it's ok bc we know now what's causing it and we have a treatment plan and options. I can see he is improving. It's not exactly the homecoming we were hoping for but it's where we are at this point in time. The best thing is he's here and not there and can now get looked after.

I guess I am still the army wife at home with the kids doing it all for just a little longer. Despite all this, I feel so very lucky... Past two days we've cried a bit, we've laughed a bit and sometimes we've just sat and held hands... but at least we are together. :)

[gilliebean1]

Hi Concernedparent, hope you don't mind me crashing your thread, but then reading your last post, my god what a stress for you.

Your story was inspiring, my DH left on Tuesday for a 4 month stint (he is raaf) - and to say I am struggling is an understatement!!! It is his first since we have been together, and we are also going through IVF so I will be having treatment while he is away. I am in the crying/numb/empty stage at the moment, and I realised today it felt like I was grieving more than anything, but to explain that to people....noone would understand! I am so pleased to read that the feeling is normal! And I am soooo sick of the patronising comments from people like "the time will go really quick", "he will be ok", "he will be back before you know it" (ummm thanks people, that makes me feel sooo much better!!). I just thank god for BH which will be keeping me sane lol

So I really just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story. For the likes of me who really have no idea what to expect, it is comforting to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, this stage does go and that 'adjustment' that everyone refers to is real!

Thank you!