Should grandparents be allowed access to children?

[meggie09]

Whats the law and how do you stop them from getting access to the kids. Only one has ever evem met them.

[MommaBear]

From what I know they have no leg to stand on if they don't currently have a relationship with the children.

So say you and your DP split if his parents had had the kids frequently they then have grandparental rights because they have a relationship with them.

Thats as far as I know though

[Cathy3]

Grandparents do have legal rights. If they take u to court to get access vists they may very likely get it. Im not a lawyer neither have i gone through it but a few people i talk to on other sites have. I would ring up legal aid and ask about it if u r worried about this.

[rfm08]

IMO it depends on circumstances i think...ie if either grand parent has been abusive towards the child, threatening etc.
It shouldnt be done out of spite. I may be a grand parent one day and would hate to think that i may miss out on my sons kids.

[meggie09]

Dh and i are terrified that they may get access. Some of you may know about my mother and MIL. Anyway they have unfortunately convinced everyone how good they are. Trust me we know that if they are able to take them to visit theres a good chance we wont see them again. They are the most awful people imaginable and no one believes us. Im 24 weeks pregnant with twins and have a 4 yo and a 1 yo. Im so stressed right now.

[rfm08]

Dh and i are terrified that they may get access. Some of you may know about my mother and MIL. Anyway they have unfortunately convinced everyone how good they are. Trust me we know that if they are able to take them to visit theres a good chance we wont see them again. They are the most awful people imaginable and no one believes us. Im 24 weeks pregnant with twins and have a 4 yo and a 1 yo. Im so stressed right now.

:hugs: thanks for clearing that up. Well then yes it sounds like you could definatlye look into it further. try not to stress for the sake of yoursel and your unborn bubs

[insomniac]

Depends on the circumstances. Although you have to wonder why grand parents are denied access to their grandchildren? Usually there is something going on.

Meggie 09 i know exactly how you feel. My mother is absolutely toxic. She is a drunk, unreliable & manipulates people every chance she gets. Somehow she has convinced my family that she is being hard done by and i'm the ***** who won't let her see her grandchildren out of spite.

This is so untrue i would like nothing more than for us to share a proper mother daughter relationship & for her to see my kids whenever she wants but it just cant be that way. For my own health and sanity i have to keep her at a distance. Oh and the fact she got drunk and left my twins in dirty nappies for nearly three hours while i was trying to catch up on sleep. Not happy Jan

Good thoughts and best wishes to you & your family.

[overitand36]

firstly they would have to take you to court whats the changes of that happening

and then its like everything they look at what is in the best interests of the child

if you both of you don't want access to be granted its not likely to occur and if they are as bad as you say they are probably not the kind that are going to spend $1,000 just in spite

most family court judges would see straight through that

[BabelFish]

Normally I would say yes. But in your situation? Not in a million years. I'd move to the other side of the world to get away from them if I were you! I think about you a lot, you know, and always wonder how you're going. I hope that the recent issues you've had are less troublesome these days.

[moozle]

I would move away. Then they will have a tough time coming to visit. I am really wondering what is so bad for you that you don't want your own mother to have anything to do with your children (MIL understandable.. a lot of DIL dislike their MIL because no one is ever good enough for her son!)

[BabelFish]

You should read some of meggie's other threads moozle. Her own mother has told her she hated her, that she wanted to adopt her out but only didn't because her Dad stopped her from doing it, was sexually abused by a `friend' of her mother's and then her mother had HER committed for a year as a result - the list goes on. It's totally mental.

I'm with you, there'd have to be a LOT that would happen for me to not want my mother in my life, but in this case, I'd get as far away as I could, change my name, have plastic surgery to change my features and pretend I didn't speak English. :D

[Stretchmark Diva]

Sadly, I believe Grandparents have been given visitation of grandchildren by the Courts in Australia, even when the parents have been against it.

Keep a journal of the things that have been done/said. Keep any threatening emails, etc in a special folder. Any evidence you can gather will be useful if you do get taken to court.

I'd move, get a post office box, a silent telephone number, screen all phone calls to voicemail (no identifying name on your answering machine, etc all the precautions you'd take for a stalker. Don't announce the birth of our babies in the paper, for example.

Also, remember to see a solicitor about your Wills - make sure you have appointed someone you trust to be the Guardian of your children and add a letter explaining, in detail, why your parents are NOT to be given any access to your children.

Good luck.

[trillian82]

I have faced this problem myself. My ex decided to abandon our son for a period of time and his parents reacted by blaming me and demanding that I give them visitation instead and when I refused they threatened to take me to court and were pretty horrible to me in the process. There is a lot more to the story but I don't want to give too much info. Nothing ever came of it, I guess they weren't serious. My ex has since wanted to reconnect with his son and we have been making an effort to get along. However, I no longer want anything to do with his parents.

According to the law grandparents and "any other person" concerned about the child can apply for a parenting order. Does this mean ex-partners of one of the parents can sue for visitation?? It just seems ridiculous to me. Anyway, I found this article that I thought might be helpful. It basically says that the grandparents must prove that not seeing them will be detrimental to the child. It also says that if the visitation is going to cause tension between the adults and interfere with the freedom and choices of the parents, then it probably won't be granted.

Here it is:

http://www.aifs.gov.au/conferences/aifs8/hetherington.pdf

[Bellini]

I don't think they should be allowed access, but unfortunately here in Australia they can gain access if they go through the family court.

I have an awful, maniplative, lying MIL, who fortunately lives on the other side of the country. She also doesn't know where we live, and we never intend on telling her. I think you should seek legal advice. I would move if I were in your position and my MIL was threatening access rights, because I would do anything to keep people like that away from my kids.