Are we doomed?? Should I just give up now??

[happier-than-eva!!]

Hi all,

I am a brand new member, and just want everyone to know that I think this place is great! The support that are in these forums is unbelievable! I was just wondering if I could get some thoughts on my situation at the moment.

My partner and I had already ended our 3 year relationship two months before I found out that I was pregnant with our now 6 month old daughter. We had ended it completely, no contact at all because we were just constantly fighting, and he had a thing for a workmate (he didnt cheat on me though).

Once I found out the news we got together and thought it would be best to try again for the sake of the baby. Over the next 5 months or so we started fighting again, and its still going on now. I just get so frustrated with him, I feel as though he resents me because I now expect him to treat me with a little respect and not act like a silly teenager anymore by drinking most nights, and sleeping in til after lunch on the weekends. We are both 20 years old, and I know that males mature alot later than females but this is driving me CRAZY!!

He has started taking phone calls again at night, and going outside to talk. I am worried that he is starting be on the prowl again. I have tried to talk to him when we are both calm and the baby isn't around, but he just acts like everything that I say is an attack against him and we end up fighting again.

I just don't know whether I should try to wait it out and see if he grows out of this soon, or whether I should end the relationship now so it doesn't impact too much on our little girl. In some ways I am angry that I let this happen at all, but then I look at her and I know that it was ment to happen. I know deep down that there is someone out there that is the man of my dreams, that will treat me the way I deserve to be...

Thank you all for taking the time to read this. Hope I can do the same for you if you need it!!!

[Funkychicken]

I don't really have any advice to offer but here are some cyber hugs for you!:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Mum&bubs]

I dont really have much advice to offer im sorry as ive never personally been there myself but it seems like your DP does need to grow up & take care of his responsibility you didnt make this child on your own. As for sneaking off to take phone calls it does sound a bit suss to me. Try talking things out with him but if that fails do what makes YOU happy - remember thats the best thing to do! :hugs:

[PhAnToM]

I just don't know whether I should try to wait it out and see if he grows out of this soon, or whether I should end the relationship now so it doesn't impact too much on our little girl. In some ways I am angry that I let this happen at all, but then I look at her and I know that it was ment to happen. I know deep down that there is someone out there that is the man of my dreams, that will treat me the way I deserve to be...

Thank you all for taking the time to read this. Hope I can do the same for you if you need it!!!


Hi and welcome to Bubhub! :wave:

Firstly, you sound very sweet just based on your last line alone.

And secondly, I think you have actually answered your own question in the above paragraph. It is such a delicate subject because effectively as strangers to your personal situation, we can only pass judgement based on your one post.

But if all you're asking is respect, then I don't think that is much for the mother of his child. BUT I have to say that your situation sounds forced on both ends. He does sound like he has his head elsewhere, and you are far from happy and you're basically telling us that he isn't for you and can't and doesn't make you happy.

You deserve to be with the man of your dreams rather than dragging out the inevitable. Maybe if you let it go now, you can salvage some sort of reasonable/civil friendship for the sake of your daughter.

Good luck and try to look to your future. Can you see him there?
:hugs: to you.

[bec79]

Hello, welcome to the hub :hugs:

Like others have said it is hard to give advice when we know so little about your situation. And more importantly, it is ultimately up to you to decide what is best for you and your bub.

I agree with what Lut has said, but I would like to add....

Have you tried sitting down and asking your DP (calmly) if he is truely invested in this relationship? Maybe explain to him that you see no point in hiding the fact if he isn't. Its going to all surface eventually, so why prolong the situation. IYKWIM? Perhaps you need to ask yourself the same question???

[Mum2Bug]

Lut took the words right out of my mouth.

Welcome to Bubhub!:hugs: :hugs:
You deserve to be happy and by the sounds of it, especially after that second last line, you already know that it will not be in your current relationship. I hope that whatever decision you make, you are happier for it!

[Poopa]

Sometimes it's better for the baby for their parents to be apart! If you and your partner stay together you will fight in front of the baby (letting the baby think that it's normal for couples to fight; therefore ending up in a fighting relationship thinking it's normal). My brother and his partner had a baby during a time that they weren't happy, their baby is now 2, they just recently split up. I personally think it will be better for their baby as now she won't have to hear and see fighting.

[sam's mum]

maybe you could ask him if he is willing to come and see a counsellor with you. That way the two of you could talk and there would be someone there who would stop it degenerating into a fight. If he is not willing to go to a counsellor that may be an answer as to how committed he is to making it work.