View Full Version : How often does your partner go out (to pub/bar/club) without you?
I was discussing this with a friend yesterday who is upset because her DH goes out every weekend to clubs without her, getting in often around 5am.
I dont judge other peoples relationships I figure everyones different but it got me thinking what is normal?
My DH goes out occasionally if one of his friends has a birthday or someone leaves work, probably once every 2-3months, he usually asks me to go along but I dont because I cant be bothered getting a babysitter and I figure a bit of time with the boys is good for him.
How often does your DH/partner go out without you?
To a pub, bar or club...never. He hates the club scene.
He goes to a late night movie session with his brother once every couple of months and maybe once or twice a year will go and have a boys day - quad riding or paintball etc.
He works a lot of hours though so any time he has not at work he usually dedicates to his family.
Never lol he doesnt drink. If anyone was to go to the pub it would be me :laughing: But I havent been since meeting him :no:
gizmoduckus
27-10-2009, 12:13
DH doesn't really go to pubs or clubs anymore.
He does catch up with his friends without me maybe a handful of times a year. They have a card tournament once a year and then every so often they will either catch up for a meal or they go to the movies.
However, they all work extremely close to one another so they catch up for lunch every 1-2 weeks so I guess they don't feel the need to catch up with each other outside of that very often.
Lateralus
27-10-2009, 12:13
Practically never! My DH is away quite a bit for work, so when he is home, he likes to spend time here not out getting on it! When he is away for work, I think he will go out for a few beers with the lads then - so I think he gets his pub fix...
Like you Jamaica, I wouldn't want to judge other's relationships, but I don't think I'd be too happy if DH did go out every weekend for all night benders... Not only would you miss out on the help with the kids that night, but also the next day while they were recovering!
TacoFest
27-10-2009, 12:14
Mitchell sometimes goes to the pub without me maybe every 2-3 months, for a mates birthday or something. Before I got pregnant we both used to go clubbing quite a bit as we are both young, but now neither of us really do.
Probably about once a month he will go dirt bike riding/4 wheel driving/fishing on a sunday with his friends :)
Every second Sunday evening for a few hours to catch up with his brother and his mates.
It used to be at least 2 times a week before I was pregnant and had DD.
Well, he is Irish ;) :laughing:
SuperGranny
27-10-2009, 12:17
Hi, my dh would never go to a pub/club without me. Maybe once or twice in our 33 years married, he has gone to the odd bucks night, but he has never even thought of going out by himself. I think we are not the norm though, we work together monday to friday, we go to the movies each week, we often go to work functions together, even business meetings. We just dont do things separately. Marie.
SweetSerenity
27-10-2009, 12:17
Never :no: The only time he goes out without me is if it was a bucks. Other than that, never. He just doesn't like it anymore.
Bubs'n'Roses
27-10-2009, 12:19
Never really. Maybe once in a blue moon he'll go out with my sisters boyfriend to the pub. That's happened twice I think??
He's not the going out type lol. I can't complain. I hate it too.
Never :no: Not his thing. He doesn't really like going out without me. I on the other hand probably go out without him once every few months. I just go to catch up with my girlfriends/boyfriends, have a dance and be home by midnight, otherwise I'm a wreck the next day. We prefer to go out together and he sometimes does come out with me but he doesn't much enjoy it as he's not a drinker. Lucky me though, I love a wine so he's always the driver :D
Whispers
27-10-2009, 12:23
About once a year if that :laughing: I am sure he would like to go more.
PookieLady
27-10-2009, 12:30
Maybe once every 6 months, But thats to a pub for a work thing and is always home before midnight. He never goes clubbing and most of these work things that are at a pub is normally a lunch time thing away.
Maybelline
27-10-2009, 12:32
I think if your in early/mid 20s ..then i would be wanting to go out to bars if i was a guy...
My man is in his 40s so his done the bar/club stuff..he goes to bar for live music every so often ..most of the time me and our girl go to..
I encourage him to see his friends..we often have his close friend stay over..they stay up to about 3am..its like little boys having a sleep over!!
its important for our sanity to have "time off"...
Havana - lol so true they are just like kids!
My DH has only been in Oz for 2 years & is still finding a circle of friends but neither him or I are drinkers so we prefer to catch for dinners/lunch with friends but he works with some younger guys so they like to go out but DH always makes excuses to leave early if he does go out.
I could count on one hand since F was born. I would have no problem every 2 or 3 weeks and think it would be good for him.
And when he does it has been after F is tucked in for the night. Well, tucked in until the next feed!
He and his dad friends are planning a bring baby catch up soon,not sure if that counts though!
Never. We pretty much do everything together... now doesn't that make you :barf: :laughing:
Never. We pretty much do everything together... now doesn't that make you :barf: :laughing:
ewwwwwwwww
Just kidding. I would think most people would be like this, we've only been married a few years but we still spend 98% of the time together, when he's not working of course. We work much better as a couple if we spend all our time together. It's when we start doing things separately that we get out of sync. If that makes sense?
SweetSerenity
27-10-2009, 13:02
Never. We pretty much do everything together... now doesn't that make you :barf: :laughing:
That's us too :p
Probably twice a month with 50% being work related. And never to a club, only pubs/restaurants/bars. He's never out until 5am though, generally not later than 2am - I don't think he could stay awake the old man! I don't have a problem with it, I think it's good for him. I like to get out with girlfriends when I can too.
dreamtobeamummy
27-10-2009, 13:11
DF has been to the odd bucks party... but we generally catch up with mates together.. well considering we are all friends (me with their wives etc).. He isn't into the pub/club scene.. but neither am I
And I would be fairly annoyed if he did go out every weekend to rock home at 5am.. I'd tell him to stay out :p :laughing:
happyluvy
27-10-2009, 13:17
most of the time we go out together... but with us it depends on the time of year, eg birthdays etc... id say prob once a month for a boys drinks night, sometimes every two weeks if there is birthdays, bucks, soccer catch ups, work do's.... but if he is out on a boys night, then i go out with the girls too!
Of course i imagine this might change once bubs comes along with trying to find babysitters etc. But we have an understanding that when bub comes, he can still go out on his boys nights, and i would stay home with bub... BUT it goes both ways, if i want my girls night, then he stays home with bub. Fair is fair!
:wave:
happyluvy
27-10-2009, 13:20
Oh i just wanted to ad to the OP, i wouldnt be happy if my DH was going out EVERY weekend, to the early hours of the morning, that might be a bit much.
CazHazKidz
27-10-2009, 13:23
Never. Neither of us does the pub/club thing anymore. It's too expensive and full of 18 year olds LOL!
We have very different hobby's and interests, so quite often spend large chunks of time apart while I go horseriding and he goes and plays with remote control cars...
But when it comes to socialising and drinking with mates, we're always together.
Janelleac
27-10-2009, 13:23
with 2 young kiddies I certainly wouldn't be happy if hubby was going out every weekend until 5am in the morning. We don't go out every weekend, but I take the kiddies over to mum's and we see my aunts so it gives hubby a rest from the kids (I work full time and hubby stays home). We do go out every chance we get ourselves, and i go out without him once in a blue moon and hubby does too.
hopeoneday
27-10-2009, 13:26
Dp goes out monday tuesday wednesday thursday some fridays sat n sundays. hardly home
SweetSerenity
27-10-2009, 13:28
Dp goes out monday tuesday wednesday thursday some fridays sat n sundays. hardly home
Wow, that's a lot... do you have children too??
uh never ever.. because he doesnt want to. I often urge him to get out to a party once in a while. I go out about once a month or perhaps a bit less when we are broke, and I go without him, because I enjoy catching up with the girls and dancing and he hates dancing lol.. I wouldn't be too happy with a partner who was ALWAYS out till 5 in the morning. once every now and then would be good :) but I think it would certainly leave your friend feeling pretty abandoned at times!
we often have friends over for a drink and to watch a movie or have a BBQ or something, but as for clubbing, no it's not his thing at all.
hopeoneday
27-10-2009, 13:32
Wow, that's a lot... do you have children too??
Yes have 2 Children.
mum2bubba
27-10-2009, 13:35
Grant works for the department of education and each term (just before school holidays) he and his workmates go out for dinner and/or drinks.
CazHazKidz
27-10-2009, 13:41
Dp goes out monday tuesday wednesday thursday some fridays sat n sundays. hardly home
Yes have 2 Children.
Hmm sorry to go off topic OP
But hopeoneday... are you ok? This must be very hard for you. I can't imagine you are comfortable with his behaviour.. have you got someone to talk to? :hugs:
sandy_1902
27-10-2009, 13:43
he goes out not oftern but not rarely i dont mind.. hes only 19 i expected him to want to go out more..
he works full time to help our family.. im fine if he wants to go out and have fun.
Yes have 2 Children.
Are you serious? That is alot. My goodness I would not be happy with that at all
DH very rarely goes out without me maybe 2 times a year. Past all that really :)
updaduff
27-10-2009, 13:45
my DH doesnt really socialise much. he'll go to the movies very rarely with a friend to see a movie he knows i'll never watch. And he'll go to the work christmas party without me because i dont like going. (only because i dont know any one and DH isnt much of a chatter so i'll be the one having to keep the conversations going).
Its me that will go out more. thought since falling pregnant/having bub i havent really been out. Ive had one girls night out since DS been born and i go out and have coffee with friends every friday night after bubs has been put to bed and i'll alway be home before he wakes up for his first feed.
sockstealingpoltergeist
27-10-2009, 13:47
A couple of times a year. Usually I just pick him up when he is finished for the night.
I would wonder what was the point of being with someone who went out without me nearly every night of the week.:confused:
hopeoneday
27-10-2009, 13:51
i'm ok was just answering question :)
it is hard but i cope
TripleTime
27-10-2009, 13:52
Maybe once every 3 months-ish, when he does his DJing & getting paid for it. He stopped while i was pregnant cause we never knew what was around the corner. Now his back at it again, next month im going too & grandparents can baby sit.
i'm ok was just answering question :)
it is hard but i cope
You are one very strong woman good on you :)
84zsazsa
27-10-2009, 14:23
Now we have a Family...almost never...I try to organise things for him to do...:laughing: but prefers home I guess!! He has gone out once so far this yr...to a mates bucks night...thats it!! Sad...I go out more often then him...I enjoy a drink with a girlfriend at least once a week!! No harm in me time but I dont hit clubs either...just a quiet drink at the local leagues club & a Keno.
He prefers to have a couple of beers at home by the pool with a mate once a week, tunes on & I throw them out some yummy homemade pizza's...usually a Saturday
Poppetfish
27-10-2009, 14:57
My DH goes out 4-5 times a week. He goes to play poker on saturday night. He then goes to the pub with his work mates after work 2-3 times a week and then once a week he goes up to the pub to have a few beers and watch sport on their foxtel. The pub is one block away. He is very rarely out after 7pm except saturday when it is sometimes 2am.:)
rainbow road
27-10-2009, 15:15
Poppetfish, I just have to tell you how much I adore your children's names!!!
Poppetfish
27-10-2009, 15:24
Poppetfish, I just have to tell you how much I adore your children's names!!!
Thankyou. I am quite partial to them too. They were the only names DH and I could agree on. LOL.:laughing:
DF goes out about once a month without me. We live apart atm so thats mainly why. Although when we did live together he would go out without me every 2 - 3 months as I just HATE going 'out'! I'm so over it! Would rather chill at home then go to bed! I'm such a granny! :laughing::p:o
RoseKathleen
27-10-2009, 15:39
My DH goes to the Eagles's footy games each fortnight during the season with his best mate. Mostly they just go to the game and then come home, but some night games they will hit the pub afterwards but never later home than about 11pm.
Otherwise the only pub/club trips he goes on (with or without me) would be for special occasions only, probably twice a year.
I would not "allow" my DH to be out every weekend, and definitely not be "allowed" to come home at 5am!! :no:
MummyNanny
27-10-2009, 15:46
DH goes to the pub with work friends twice a year. Once for end of finical year and once for Christmas break-up drinks. Over the years there has been the odd bucks night but thats all really.
DH never goes out unless I join him. Infact, I think his bucks night was the only time, and even then we met up later on in the night :laughing:. One of the reasons we got married was because we love spending time with each other ;)
We both work all week so nights and weekends are usually spent with each other. He will go fishing once a month with friends while I go shopping, but that's about it.
delirium
27-10-2009, 17:19
Never :yelclap: He hates drinking and at nearly 40 he's over going and getting drunk with his buddies. Been there done that. He much prefers to stay home and sit on the computer playing games :D
only occasionally if it is for work or a special occasion. Dh works 65 hrs a week so doesnt leave much time and works saturdays so what's left we try to spend as a family and not to mention our bedtimes are what they used to be:laughing:
Seacretsquirrel
27-10-2009, 17:38
Practically never! My DH is away quite a bit for work, so when he is home, he likes to spend time here not out getting on it! When he is away for work, I think he will go out for a few beers with the lads then - so I think he gets his pub fix...
Like you Jamaica, I wouldn't want to judge other's relationships, but I don't think I'd be too happy if DH did go out every weekend for all night benders... Not only would you miss out on the help with the kids that night, but also the next day while they were recovering!
Thats us too DH is away so much that other than the compulsary farewell drinks (they had to make the last one compulsary or noone would have gone and most of the crew brought their wives/husbands /GF and we used the kids as an excuse to leave early too. DH does play gol on occassion when he is home (often with a few of the guys and girls from the boat) but last time he played he took DD who had a ball.
BabelFish
27-10-2009, 18:18
Well, if DP ever really went to the pub/club etc it would be without me. We spend 99.9999999% of our time together, so I like him to get out without me occasionally, and vice versa.
Like beetlemama, I guess we just love each other's company. Also, he's a student and I'm a SAHM so he's home most days, too.
Because I am pregnant (very) and we have our DD, we don't go out a lot. When we do, we'd rather go out to dinner, movies, friend's houses etc. If he gets an urge to go to the pub he's welcome to it. I will be joining him again once the baby's born.
I think that because we're both so happy together and we're also quite happy to be independent, him going out without me or the other way around just isn't a big deal. And it's nice to get some time apart, too. It's important to us to maintain independence within our relationship to a degree - we're two people, not one.
We used to be such party animals, way back when... lol. Our house was known as the party house and we were out three or four nights a week, or people over most nights. We were pretty massive party-people too, in terms of drinking and so forth. It's amazing how much things can change!
MumNeedsCoffee
27-10-2009, 19:26
DP is very social and goes out 3-4 times a week. Not to pubs or clubs but to friends houses to catch up and have drinks.
I don't mind him going out once a week but it was getting a bit much as he works 12 hour days and that combined with going out alot means when he is at home he just crashes out all day and night.
I've just in the last week put a stop to it.
Whispers
27-10-2009, 19:32
We don't go to clubs, as I see it club is to dance or if your single, we don't dance and we certainly aren't single so i see no need in going. The pub I see more of thing we could go to, to socialize with friends.
It seems like its a real age thing. Im 27 but partied my butt off and was over it a good while ago.
DH and I havent spent more than 12hours apart since we met! Even when he goes out his home by midnight.
bronny-jane
28-10-2009, 05:51
dh hardly ever, although once a year he does go to a concert in sydney, metal bands;).. although last time he got jumped in an elevator :rolleyes:
me on the other hand i go out by myself once every few months;).. only for a mates birthday, or special occasions...
Mrs Nietzsche
28-10-2009, 05:59
never, but he's really looking forward to being able to go with me again
Lastcenturymum
28-10-2009, 06:04
Never. He doesn't want to. He even hated Friday night drinks and pizza every fortnight, and only stayed about half an hour!
I'd be questioning why my partner wanted to do that if I was your friend. Why does he want to spend time with goodness knows who and not her?
If he wants time alone he would go for a run or a ride on his mountain bike! :p
Boobycino
28-10-2009, 07:05
Almost never. When he does he's home by 10ish at the absolute latest. I've pushed him out the door before, just so he gets some social time because all he does it work, come home, work from home, sleep, go to work etc etc - he's kinda boring!
In a way I think we'd have something to talk about if he did more stuff that wasn't work, because I patiently pretend that I think his job is interesting...
Before we had bub though, DP went out a couple of times a week and would stay out all night - before I was pregnant I'd join him and even until maybe 5-6 months into it I'd still join him, but in the end, it just seemed like a dumb weekly ritual when I'd be happier at home watching telly in my PJs. But DP did continue to go out without me.
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