So who has/had a runner?

[Cheerio]

DD is a runner and a freakin fast one too. I am struggling with this so much lately as it has become a nightmare to go out anywhere. As soon as she is given the opportunity she is off.

I feel like I have tried everything and its driving me bonkers.

So tell me when did yours stop doing it? What did you do to stop it or was it just an age thing?

I am so jealous of mums who can walk around in public with their youngest in the pram and toddler walking so good right beside them!

HELP :o

[madtaybub]

my middle DD is usualy pretty good, i have my youngest DD in the pram and eldest walks too.... but only the other day middle DD after being shown the toys area by eldest at one point i turned around she was gone :( i was in a state panicing while eldest didnt care wanted to her own thing grrrrrrrr
found middle DD in the toys area playing with an upsie daisy.... i've tried the discreet stuffed animals leash things but she tantrums when knows you've got hold of it even if its attatched to the pram

[FionaV]

Leash. I have had two runners and the only reason they survived to grow up is that I had them on a harness. I know they're controversial but neither minded it (quite liked it, actually) and I don't think they are particularly traumatised by it. I would far rather see a toddler on a leash than squashed under a bus. They also knew the alternative to the leash was they went in the stroller, and that helped a lot.

[Mummita]

DS is a runner but fortunately still small enough to be in a pram. He hates it but knows that's just the way it is. Fortunately DD will happily walk alongside - she's NOT a runner phew! DS is allowed to get out only when we are downstairs from our building and he runs (literally) to our foyer about 100m away but I can see him the whole time. That kids NEVER walks he literally RUNS everywhere. I'm scared of the day when he will be too big for the pram :(

[QTB]

DS1 is a runner, always has been. hes getting better now than he was at 2, but at 4 still does it occationally (usually in a shopping centre, from one end to the other)

If i have both kids with me, they both go in the double pram, i dont care how stupid he looks in it, i would rather that that him getting lost/taken/squashed

although lately on short trips we have had DS2 in the stroller and DS1 holding the "kiddie handle" (tether strap!) that seems to work well 99% of the time.

if i have him on his own then he walks holding my hand without problems.

DS2 is a great walker, doesnt run etc, but theres no way i can have both walking just in case DS1 runs :(

[UmmInayah]

DD was a runner..

I told her if she leaves me, someone will take her away and hurt her really badly and she will never see any of us again.

She doesn't run anymore.

[WorkingClassMum]

5yo DD still occassionally makes a break for it :(

[justmum]

Yes we did. Oh my yes. Not much now. And this is how we did it.....

I try not to chase when he does run. I try very hard to hold my nerve and just say very loudly and clearly "STOP!" and then "run back to mummy as fast as you can! How fast can you go? Wow so so fast!!" and often he speeds back to me. If he comes back voluntarily, I thank him for coming back ask him to stay with me and not run off.

If he goes again (even if he comes back voluntarily) it's into the pram/trolley/haness.

If I do have to go after him I do it in as unpanicked a way as possible. I cetrainly don't follow after him yelling or laughing or anything, just expressionless and he goes straight into the pram/trolley.

He will say, "me walk?" and I say "yes but to stay with mummy and no running". He says "not run" and then I let him out. If he runs again it's back into the pram/trolley and no more chances until the next time.

The other rule is holding my hand on roads, driveways and carparks (non negotiable, he won't he's in the pram/trolley no exceptions).

When we get to the car, DD gets put in first and he stands next to me with his hand on my car. If he loses interest I ask him to stand on one leg (makes him hold the car as he can't balance alone yet ;)) or (you can see where I'm going here) it's into the pram/trolley.

I try and be very calm, very respectful and very reasonable about it. I don't drag him or yell. I explain as much as I can, when I need to, without going into it too much ("when you run away, mummy misses you. Please stay with mummy").

I also make sure I praise him when he's staying with me well and keep him focused on what we are doing.

I have lots of little tricks to keep him in the moment - looking for things, getting me things, carrying things, etc. Helping me is a huge motivator for him and I thank him for his help. I also ask him to show his little sister how big children walk for when it's her turn.

I also pick my times - if it's just before lunch or dinner and he's tired or hungry I just try to keep him in the pram/trolley (or sling if he wants up) because I know he's going to run and he'll tantrum about not running.

So I guess we addressed it by:

1. picking our timing when allowing him to walk;

2. being very clear, simple and consistent with the rules;

3. giving him the chance to make choices and demonstrate he's trustworthy;

4. giving him second chances where approriate but no third/fourth/fifth etc chances;

5. giving him lots of praise when he's staying with me; and

6. keeping him engaged and entertained so it's more fun to be with me than to run off.

[delirium]

DS is over 2 and is still a bolter so I understand your frustrations.

Have you considered a leash? There are really cute ones online that have a teddy bear back pack. I'm ashamed to say before I had kids I hated them and thought they looked like dog collars. I thought they were insulting to the child.

Then I got a bolter :rolleyes::o and I started to understand. I would rather use a leash than have my child killed by a car. Now when I see a mum using one, she often gives me this embarrassed look, waiting for the frown, but I smile a knowing smile and have commented how cute the teddy bear ones are. The mum will look relieved. That's kind of sad that she has to feel embarrassed for ensuring the safety of her child. :thumbsdown:

[justmum]

I would absolutely go the harness too if you think it will help - it's no more degrading than forcing a child into a pram and strapping them in whilst kicking and screaming IMO.

I tried a harness a few times with DS but it didn't help us - I'd never judge someone for using one though. I'd much rather see a harnessed child than a dead or injured one.

I think it's important to give them a chance to make the choice to not run though. That's how my children learn - through choice and loving consequence. Your choice bub - walk with mummy or harness on.

[Skittles]

Both my kids are runners. I use the harness. I would rather that than possibly loosing my child. DD has grown out of it now that she is older but will still sometimes run off to look at something when she gets over excited. A simple explaination works wonders. However DS is only just 2 and no amount of talking will stop him. if he Doesnt want to walk in the harness he can sit in the pram or trolley

[guerin]

I had one but I couldn't catch her.

[Cheerio]

Thanks so much for your replies.

I do have one of those cute backpack harness thingys but to say she hates it would be an understatement.

Justmum I will give your way a go and just be more consistent.

I think the other mistake I have been making is putting her in the double pram until she cracks it and wanting to get out. By then its like she feels so restricted she refuses the harness or hand and just wants to run resulting in massive tantrums and no matter what I do or say the only way I can get her back is to chase after her bub in tow. Maybe I should give her the chance to walk first and see if that makes a difference. Like you said Justmum, pick my times better. I will try the harness again too I think.

Thanks, I really needed to get a grip on this LOL

[CrazyCatLady]

before I had DD I was a nanny for twins and one was a runner and one wasn't (thank goodness). And we used the wrist straps (similar to the harness) to teach them that they had to hold hands wherever we went. Even with the straps on they had to hold my hand. But if they let go and make a break for it at least they were attached.

Then we went on lots of walks in safe places to 'train' them to hold hands without making a break. And if one of them threw themselves on the ground in protest. We'd just sit donw and wait for them to get over it. Eventually they saw there was no point.

So in short harness and time teaching worked a treat. By the time they were two we had so many people comment how good they were walking with me and how did we do it.

[kylza]

:yes: Ds takes off at every opportunity, he then turns to see if I'm following him and if I make any advances in his direction he turns and runs. :hair:
He is 18 months and really tests the boundaries, when I'm out and when he isn't in the stroller I use a harness/leash. Which works ok.
When bub#2 arrives I'll have a toddler seat in our big pram, and when I use the stroller I'll have ds in that and bub in a sling or carrier.
I'm very strict and emphasise the danger in running away but with an 18 month old it does your head in :dizzy:.

[LuvMy4Babes]

My last bub was a total runner. Used to drive me crazy. If I wasn't holding onto him he would dart out wherever and wheneer.

I'm pretty sure he was like 3 before he even got the concept of "If you run you may get lose/run over, etc." so you may have a bit of a wait yet.

I just used to put him in the pram EVERYWHERE we went pretty much, I just couldn't trust him.

[Myztiks#1Fan]

i have bolter. coop will be 2.5 in december and at times he can be a shocker for running off. lately though, he will run, i will say stop and he will yell out stop and put both his hands out the front while actioning the word stop. other times, i say bye and he will stop as well but thats more than likely due to me not having him full time.

[missie_mack]

My Ds is generally really quite good and will hold hands but of late he can find it funny to run off and be chased. We are fortunate that the animal backpack really helps and he actually loves wearing it :smiliedance:

[HollyHotLips]

DD can be fast when she wants to, I bought one of those harness things, hers is a dog so it's more fun for her having a dog on her back. Otherwise there's no way I could catch her, even under normal circumstances let alone being pg with No 2! :o

[samsausage]

Absolutely a harness, DS was a fast runner and I was nearly caught out once, I had him in the harness after that. Now at nearly three he's fine, happy to walk with me. I did havesome negative comments about it but *shrug* as an ambo I've seen too many wee ones under cars to care what ppl thought

[MrsTiggyWinkle]

Yes we did. Oh my yes. Not much now. And this is how we did it.....



We too have a runner and Justmum, thank you for taking the time to write all that down, I will be printing it out and reading over it, very sensible advice :thumbsup: