please help - need advice

[InSaneOne]

i am in need of some advice.

my step-childrens bio mum currently has another family living in the house with her and the children. this other family got evicted from their own house for reasons unknown by us. as they can't find other housing they are staying with her. now the kids have told us that their mum is sleeping in their room with the 2 girls and the other family is staying in the living room as the mums room has all their stuff in it. the girls have said that the 2 children (2 and 5) are allowed in their rooms when they aren't there (at school or at our place) and they trash the place, wrecking all their stuff. we have told them to bring their good stuff to our place.

when james picked them up today the kids smelt like stale ciggarettes and when he looked inside the house the other family was sitting on the lounge smoking inside the house. the house is always a pigsty and the yard hasn't been looked after either. my dh's name is still on the mortage as well as the ex's.

we were wondering how we could go about removing the kids from her care (especially while this other family is smoking around them and inside the house.)
who should we contact. and what should we do when the ex doesn't abide by the consent orders - by looking after the children in the way specified by the court.
how can we make the kids safer.

[Lallas' Mum]

Tough situation.
I think you have to contact Family services. I know that the police usually help enforce court orders but it isn't really a cut & dry situation.
I hope you can sort it out.

[FOURtunate]

I don't agree with this at all but:

DOCS will not remove children from a custodial parent unless they are in real immediate danger.

Passive smoking (although in the long term is proven to cause lung cancer) is not real immediate danger. :thumbsdown:

A messy house, unkept yard, trashed bedrooms or lots of people in a house does not cause real immediate danger. :thumbsdown: :thumbsdown:

But..... if the kids WANT to be with their Dad, you may have a case. And if the Mother thinks that the kids being with their Dad is of benefit to her (she sound selfish enough), maybe it could be done outside of court. You just have to make her think she's getting a good deal... No kids, free to smoke as much as she likes, Nights out....

[jessgray]

i noticed that the children are aged 14,13 and 11. from my expierience as a foster child with dhs at these ages, DHS(Docs) will actually listen to the wishes of children.if they say they want to not live there docs will agree to it

[Niki]

i noticed that the children are aged 14,13 and 11. from my expierience as a foster child with dhs at these ages, DHS(Docs) will actually listen to the wishes of children.if they say they want to not live there docs will agree to it

i remember my friend telling me about it, at a certain age 10 i think she said her daughter can decide who she wants to live with her or her ex, but this is only wat i have heard so im not completely sure

[jessgray]

it does happen. :) i picked where i wanted to live at age 11.

[InSaneOne]

thanks guys. does anyone have a phone number or web address that i can use to contat the relevant people. or the name of a good but cheap lawyer in brisbane.

or should we just lodge custody papers with the court and do all that jazz again.

[jessgray]

i would ring DOCS and legal aid for advice. then go from there. and i think a custody order would have to be filed again.

[SpecialMumma]

The DOCS helpline number is 132 111. If you just give them a call they can send you in the right direction! They are lovely people those who answer the phone and will sure help you in some way.

Goodluck.

[Whispers]

i am in need of some advice.

my step-childrens bio mum currently has another family living in the house with her and the children. this other family got evicted from their own house for reasons unknown by us. as they can't find other housing they are staying with her. now the kids have told us that their mum is sleeping in their room with the 2 girls and the other family is staying in the living room as the mums room has all their stuff in it. the girls have said that the 2 children (2 and 5) are allowed in their rooms when they aren't there (at school or at our place) and they trash the place, wrecking all their stuff. we have told them to bring their good stuff to our place.

when james picked them up today the kids smelt like stale ciggarettes and when he looked inside the house the other family was sitting on the lounge smoking inside the house. the house is always a pigsty and the yard hasn't been looked after either. my dh's name is still on the mortage as well as the ex's.

we were wondering how we could go about removing the kids from her care (especially while this other family is smoking around them and inside the house.)
who should we contact. and what should we do when the ex doesn't abide by the consent orders - by looking after the children in the way specified by the court.
how can we make the kids safer.


a messy house and smoking around children really is not a good enough reason to take them away from there mother i think you should really think about this carefully is there any abuse going on because from what you have written i dont see a good enough reason for them to be taken away the only thing i see is you wanting the children away from your husbands ex for the reason of spite i dont mean to be judging or rude here and i could be completly wrong of casue i was just making an observation on what i have read.

[Fitmumma]

I do not agree with smoking around children either, however I dont really think you have any valid reasons to take the children out of their mothers care, unless the children have said that they dont want to live there anymore.
The best thing to do would be to talk to their mother whether it be verbally, written or through lawyers & voice your concerns about the things you have mentioned.
If she has directly breached anything within the orders then I would lodge it straight to the court.
But honestly no court is going to remove the children from her care for the reasons you have mentioned.

[cupcakemafia]

I agree with fitmumma here.
Calling DOCS is a complete overreaction in my opinion.
Call your lawyer or legal aid and ask their advice.
As someone who has worked in family law before, calling DOCS is a silly idea.
But you shouldnt feel bad for being concerned about that environment, just ask advice from your lawyer.