View Full Version : Another holiday question with a different situation
We are going on our honeymoon next year after our wedding and of course we are taking DS (he'll only be 18 months) my new MIL and FIL will be coming with us as well as my Mum and my sister... don't worry, we've organised some alone time and are all staying separately :laughing: BUT I feel like we should bring DSS (10) too?? I feel really mean sending him home to his Mum the day after the wedding while we all head off to tropical island paradise?! What do you all think?
In that circumstance, I would probably take him along. You have a lot of babysitters there:):yes:
I would probably try and take him too. It might make him feel more like his is part of the family. Especially if his grand parents will be there too. He'd love it.
You could always say "this is where we are going. We would like you to come too but if you would prefer to stay with your mum we understand".
I understand what you are saying. It's just that he is very demanding and doesn't get to see his Dad that much so expects his attention 24/7 when he's with him.. .cuddling him to sleep etc. I just think it would send us both loopy if this was our honeymoon and our first EVER holiday together. Maybe we can just set some ground rules first? He would definately love to come with us, I have no doubt of that. The other issue is the cost. After funding the wedding by ourselves, it's another $1000 to take him with us and it's money we don't have but if it's going to be better for him psychologically in the long run and for his relationship with us, then I guess it's money well spent. Further thoughts?
dreamtobeamummy
23-10-2009, 12:03
I would take DSS with you.. will make him feel more apart of the family.
If he is that demanding, maybe est some ground rules first with him :D
HunterzMummy
23-10-2009, 13:33
Hrrrm i wouldnt want to take either on my honeymoon, both biological and step :p hahah
But i guess you gotta weigh it up. Like if he can maybe sleep with his grand parents as a 18 month old and a 10 yr old are NOT going to be going to sleep at the same time. And come on it is ur honeymoon :p you only get to do this once in your life. Its about you 2 no one else.
Do you have that kinda money to spend after the wedding? Maybe you could plan another 'family' trip for the wkend (as a alternative) later on inthe yr and get him involved in planning that and getting excited for it etc. And maybe explain its time for you 2 to spend togeather and there is no one to look after bub, but you really want to have a holiday with him so you want to plan a specail wkend away with just the 4 of you?
I guess another thought is that its not like he is with you full time or even 50/50 which would be different again.
I know i would not want older children at my honeymoon (even younger ones :laughing: but that cant be helped in ur case). It is such a beautiful precious time for you 2 and like i said its a once in a lifetime thing.. Hope you guys sought out what is best for YOU :hugs:
faroutbrusselsprout
23-10-2009, 13:42
Ok at the risk of sounding harsh...there is no way I'd be taking him (We don't take DSS on our normal holidays let alone a honeymoon!!)
This is a special time for you and your husband and YOUR baby that YOU had TOGETHER. I too, have a demanding DSS who wants all of DH's time when he's around.
Unfortunately this is the way of modern life and blended families. A 10 year old will be able to understand that a baby needs to come.
Just soften the blow by saying that you are all going on another trip next year as a family.
Sorry.... I thnk you should put you and your husbands honeymoon first over the disappointed that 10 year old will feel. :o
Also cost wise, a 10 year old costs alot. I begrudge paying alot of child support then paying extra for food, accomodation, recreation..it adds up.
Let you in laws enjoy their time as well, everyone will be busy enough looking after your litttle one without the demands of a 10 year old as well.
I'll probably get shot down for this post but I'm being honest here.
There is plenty of time for including him as part of the family...why does it have to be your honeymoon???
I understand what you are saying. It's just that he is very demanding and doesn't get to see his Dad that much so expects his attention 24/7 when he's with him.. .cuddling him to sleep etc. I just think it would send us both loopy if this was our honeymoon and our first EVER holiday together. Maybe we can just set some ground rules first? He would definately love to come with us, I have no doubt of that. The other issue is the cost. After funding the wedding by ourselves, it's another $1000 to take him with us and it's money we don't have but if it's going to be better for him psychologically in the long run and for his relationship with us, then I guess it's money well spent. Further thoughts?
Oh that's tricky then. Hmm... Not an ideal honey moon to have with a clingy child.
Maybe a family holiday at a later point. If he didn't know everyone one else was going it mightn't be such a bad thing. If you could have a family holiday later that could be centered around him??? might help.
Tough choice...
Unless he can stay with his grandparents????
I think you should definitely take him if you are taking your other child :yes: Absolutely.
:laughing: You girls crack me up! I totally see where you're coming from. Initially, I didn't even think to bring him but when I started to work out the details of where we were all staying before the wedding and the wedding night, it occured to me that there would be 7 of us going off on a holiday the next day and he'd be the only one not coming and I think that is really mean. Having said that, he would have to miss a week of school to come (not that his mother would mind). BUT his grandparents live in the UK and he doesn't really spend any time with them ever, so I wouldn't feel bad having him stay in a room with them and they'd love it. I guess we'll suss out the budget and have a chat to him about it and just tell him that this is a holiday for his Dad and I and that it's really special that he's been invited and that it's important that we get to spend time together and if he would like to come, he will most likely be spending most of the time with his grandparents. We'll see what he says. I'm assuming when faced with a decision of spending a week on a holdiay with his graddparents or going to school, he'll probably cope not spending the whole time with his Dad...
I think the grandparents idea sounds like a winner :)
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