View Full Version : What to do when the wont.....please help!
Raising Leprechauns
22-10-2009, 14:44
My DS was 3 in Aug. He totally refuses to even try to sit on the loo or wear undies. No amount of bribing of fancy charts tempts him. He well knows when he needs to go - and when he's gone. He is more than able to tell me.
Please help - I have no idea how to win him over to the idea and really need to get him trained so he can move up rooms at day care next year.........
Don't buy any more nappies. :)
Sit him down, tell him that in 'so many days' it's the end of nappies (Time it so that you're almost at the end of a packet). Take him out, let him choose some undies. Then cross the days off the calendar. When it get's to the day before T day (toilet day) in teh afternoon, let him get out a nappy for overnight, then both of you take the remaining nappies to the bin. Make sure there are no more nappies.
Then just put him in undies. He can't wear nappies if there's no nappies there.
If you use cloth (as we did) throwing nappies in the bin wasn't an option. So I went back to terry squares instead of MCN's. . I would have them in undies, and told them that when they needed to go to the toilet, they could either use the toilet, or ask for a nappy. If they asked for a nappy, I'd fold is as bulky and uncomfortably as I could. And over the course of a couple of weeks I kept folding them smaller and smaller and smaller, until I could not get them together.. and they just HAD to use the toilet.
It might not work for everyone.. but it worked for my twins. ... And once November hits, G's coming out of nappies too.
I haven't had this problem as my DD trained relatively easily but it sounds like he's well and truly ready (as are you!). What I would do is buy him some cool undies (batman or whatever) and then one day say "the nappies have all gone you'll have to wear undies today". Then I'd probably spend quite a bit of time in the garden initially and be really relaxed about the whole thing ie not ask "do you need to go" all the time, if he wets himself say "never mind, maybe you could try the toilet next time". I'd not make too big of a deal about the whole thing as they pick up on the stress. If he gets to the toilet, I'd give lots of praise. I'd probably do it indoors too and put up with a few accidents - although a bit difficult if you've got carpet. I hope something works out for you soon.
Raising Leprechauns
23-10-2009, 14:53
*sigh* our undies draw is so stuffed full now it barely closes....... I have got him every sort you can imagine.
Every time I mention running out of nappies he responds with "we can get some more at the shops Mummy...." and he makes a point of pointing them out at the shops...... clever clobs.
Everything says you cant force it - and i am starting to think it's become a control issue - with him in control.
Has anyone else had a kiddo totally refuse?
ICanDream
23-10-2009, 19:10
My DS was 3 in Aug and we are the same. Sometimes I'm not sure he is ready but then other times he displays all the traits of being ready. He is so stubborn that he has taken to pooping in the shower (having only had undies on for a few hours) rather than sit on the toilet.
We are going to keep trying now that the weather is warming up but the other thing is that child care have offered if we send him in undies and loads of clothes then they will deal with it (he is there 4 days a week which makes it hard). My only issue with this is does it cause him too much embarrassment in front of his friends at kindy?
We are at a loss too, he won't use the potty - says it's too small for his bottom, won't use the toilet as he's too busy, will tell us he's done something after the event or just won't say anything.
Carla and Amanda - we should all get together and have a whinge!!! My DS was 3 in August also and is going through the same thing - maybe it's their star sign! Ha!
We went through the same thing - absolutely point blank refused to wear undies. I kept asking him and he would just say no and if I tried to force it (which I know was wrong, I'd just get so frustrated), he'd kick and scream and it wasn't worth it. We are now at a stage where he is wearing undies happily, but going to the toilet on the potty is the problem.
What I found to get him into undies was tell him that I don't have anymore nappies for daytime, only nighttime and if we go out it's only pull-ups, so undies at home. Instead of asking him if he'd like to wear undies, I took the control (as I feel too that he is the one in control) and took out 3 pairs of undies and asked him which ones he'd like to wear - let him pick them out and make the decision.
So now he's happily wearing undies but the problem for us now is that he refuses to sit on the potty!
Good luck, I hope you get there soon.
Raising Leprechauns
27-10-2009, 14:21
Carla and Natski - I'm sooo glad I am not the only one. I feel like such a failure - he is the only one now at DC and playgroup in nappies full time still.
my ds turned 3 at the end of july. he wont wear sposies (its all he has ever worn). he will wear mcn's, though or undies... he will wee on the toilet if i MAKE him, and sometimes poo, but he thinks its hysterical to wee or poo on my floor. he smears poo around if i dont get to him quick enough as well. he has also pooed in the bath a bit lately and he wee's in there too... i so know wher eu are coming from....
but, i am so sorry, i dont know how to convince any of our boys to use the loo.....???
My son has just turned 3 and he, too, won't do anything in the toilet...he'll sit on it, but that's it. He also refuses to wear undies (he's the youngest of 4, you'd think he'd want to be a big kid like they are...lol) Lately we have been out all day helping out at my mum's, and some days I have forgotten to take nappies, and he's done a poo...so then he has to go without a nappy. I ask him throughout the day if he needs to go & I'll sit him on the loo...but he wont go. Instead...he wets his pants.
He starts kindy next yr, so he needs to be t/t'd by then.
Persistance...so I keep telling myself :)
Hi there,
We are a bit similar, DS has just turned 3. He usually wears undies happily enough, but I feel as though the tt is actually going backwards (we've been trying on and off for a year, ugh). He can hold on while wearing undies, but not predictably so. Currently he will sit on the toilet or potty but not willingly, and has never done anything in either (save for one or two freak incidents). He is no longer motivated by stickers, treats or anything else. And he is now denying or lying about having done poo or wee in his nappy. Like some of you I'm starting to feel a bit sad that he is still in full time nappies while his peers move on in life. I know it's not his fault (more likely mine) but yeah. I don't think the "cold turkey" approach would work for us because my DP would not support it and also because he goes to daycare 3 days and we go out a lot when he is home with us, so can't really risk no nappies etc.
I don't have any help for anyone but it is good to know we are not alone :(
I've also got a stubborn 3 year old (end of July!), and only in the last week has he been prepared to wear his undies (of which he also has at least 20 pairs!)
We have had many accidents, but I'm so happy that he's in them I don't care.
My only advice would be shoppping for undies (I'm usually pretty anti-name brand, but was desperate), choosing a time when you're home together for a few days in a row, I also had to be pretty firm for the first day or so, saying that he couldn't wear a nappy at home, but that said, I had tried many times to do that and he just wouldn't do it. He would also get really upset every time he wet himself, which I don't think helped anything.
Most of all, don't stress out, and don't put too much pressure on him, I think that would make it harder.
Good Luck!
hayleylea
29-10-2009, 21:40
Argh! toilet training. My son didnt toilet train till 3.3 either. He was exactly as you girls are describing, didnt want to wear undies, hated the potty etc.
I would however find him outside with his nappy off occasionally. I had a potty outside, inside, and curiosity did get the better of him occasoinally.
Lots of talks about being a big boy, once you get them in their undies its definatley a start. Have you tried a reward system?? Just a chart and when he goes to the toilet reward him with a sticker or a stamp? give them a little prize when they do so many wees oin the potty or toilet? hotwheels car? chocolate? whatever they are into.
DS wasnt too keen on the potty! We had the step up toilet seat thing. It worked well, but he found it uncomfy so we just went to a padded ducky seat. Reading books to him on the toilet kept him interested too, long enough to sit there and possibly do a wee!
thing with DS is although it took him ages to actually WANT to toilet train and do it, he was toilet trained pretty much over night! He had 1 or 2 accidents within a 2 week time period and then was perfect. I actually believe that they have to want to do it but you do have to encourage it too!
Goodluck girls!
Raising Leprechauns
30-10-2009, 12:52
I've also got a stubborn 3 year old (end of July!), and only in the last week has he been prepared to wear his undies (of which he also has at least 20 pairs!)
We have had many accidents, but I'm so happy that he's in them I don't care.
My only advice would be shoppping for undies (I'm usually pretty anti-name brand, but was desperate), choosing a time when you're home together for a few days in a row, I also had to be pretty firm for the first day or so, saying that he couldn't wear a nappy at home, but that said, I had tried many times to do that and he just wouldn't do it. He would also get really upset every time he wet himself, which I don't think helped anything.
Most of all, don't stress out, and don't put too much pressure on him, I think that would make it harder.
Good Luck!
How did you get him in the undies in the first place?
oh my god i take it all back! he hasn't wee'd in the toilet all day! 5 wet pants!
Ummm how did I get him in undies? actually it was because his cousin (same age) got t.t'd. When I told d.s, he was pretty keen to try, but it didn't quite work. Then about a week later, another friends little girl was in undies, and when I let him know, that was it!
Hopefully you have some close friends the same age and can try that one out!?
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