Wanting a tiny age gap, tell me I'm crazy!!

[elleandsam]

I keep saying publicly that I want a big age gap, at least 3 years, but secretly I want to be pregnant ASAP.

I'm on the pill, but my memory is shocking, and DH hates condoms. I keep thinking, I fell pregnant on the pill the first time (our angel baby) would it be a bad thing if it happened again?

My dd is 3 months tomorrow!!! I must be nuts. If I fell pregnant when I go home to DH then I'd be due on the same date I was this year! :devil6: I must be crazy! I could end up with Irish twins!!!

I just so badly want to be pregnant again, I daydream about it 24/7! Tell me I'm crazy.

My pregnancy was horrific, I tore during labour, the first 6 weeks of dd's life were hell, I'm still struggling with PND... and I want more? :confused:

[kuddles]

May I say that my friend did this. She accidently fell pregnant and had her 2nd Bub 1 yr and 1 week apart.. She actually originally had the same due date. I would strongly suggest waiting longer. She found the pregnancy harder, she was too tired to look after her 1st born. Then when she had her second she found it even harder to do things such as feeding bub. She is now having more trouble than ever with a 3 & 2 year old. I really feel for her.

[Just Add Water]

My two youngest step kids are a year & 3 weeks apart... they live with us full time and i have been in their life since Master 5 was 18 months old.. so while I didn't go through the pregnancy or the birth I can tell you what life is like now :)

They are very twin like, even at 5 & 6. Miss 6 is in year 1 and Master 5 is in preschool and due to start school next year. Miss 6 has a few insecurity issues but that is not related to her age and is a whole other story... but in all honesty? I now have a 7 month old and am hoping to be pregnant right now (but too early to check :D)... I know it will be hard work, but so was becoming an instant mum to 3 kids with issues about their mother.

Parenting is hard work and that's true for whatever age gap you have... people with triplets manage, people with quads manage... and we all manage because we love our kids!!

Good luck & I hope you get a decision from fate soon. :)

[The Fox]

oh i dont think your crazy, i would love to be pregnant again right now, i felt so special being pregnant and even now i get kind of jealous when i see other pregnant women because its just all so exciting, the lead up to the birth, meeting your little one its just all so precious, My DP and I are going to start trying next october (maybe July) to start TTC #2, My DP would be all up for TTC now but i dont think i could actually get pregnant yet, im like you and just had DS 3 monrhs ago and AF hasnt returned and might not until i stop BF which could be a long time


A;so i have 1 brother(1.5 years younger) and older sister (3 years older) and a twin sister and growing up together was so much fun we always had each other and we were are really close now as adults

[mumma2cubs]

I don't think you're nuts love.

I got super clucky when my son was 1 month old - wanted to do the whole horrible birth again :doh:

Fell pregnant when Coops was 2 months old - unfortunately miscarried at 11 weeks, but the amount of stupid people that told me I was crazy was terrible.

I managed another 3 pregnancies after this (avg every couple of months) but continued to miscarry until I got pregnant in May with my daughter. She is now due about one month before DS turns 2 - seems like a great age gap - but I would have been happy with 2 until 15 months

[tweedledee*tweedledum]

My daughter is exactly 12 months younger than my twins and it was very hard at first, but now I love having my 3 all close together!

[mrsmamo]

I dont think your crazy. I wanted that lead up to the birth again and again until DD was about 4mths. I wanted to do everything so differently to what i had done it was almost like i wanted another bub just so i could prove to myself that i can do things on my own. (well DH and my own lol). It was just after this i realised that even if i did have another bub, it wouldnt be the same as i wouldnt have just 1 bub to look after. (seems obvious but i guess my thought pattern was, new bub, gonna do things 'right' this time etc) i'd never get the newborn stage with dd again and i grieved over that. for quite a while.

Now DD is almost 10mths old and Hubby and I have agreed, and i feel ready to go off the contraception and see what happens. I have only had 1 period since DD's birth so we'll see.

Even though i want DD to have a sibling, im starting to stress about if i will be able to handle a toddler (by the time baby 2 is born) and a newborn but im so much more confident as a mum and hubby and i have more definate opinions as to how we want to raise our child/ren. I also keep stressing that having another bub this close to dd will be detrimental to her. I know it wont but i guess its a normal feeling.

I have only told my two best friends that i had the iud removed yesterday. I am not telling family as yet because i have always told them that i wanted a 3 yr age gap even tho we want them closer. Im expecting some hesitation about it from them but ultimately its our decision.

Goodluck with your decision and do whats right for yourself and your family :)

[elleandsam]

Well I talked to DH about it and he wants a break from babies :( so it's not an option atm. And I must admit I am very upset about it.

[sweetseven]

It may just be hormones. Many of the mothers in my Birth Group were talking about feeling clucky around the four month mark. Give it a few months and see if the feelings subside.

[mrsmamo]

Im Sorry to hear that.
DH will come round when he is ready. he is probably still adjusting to having a tiny baby (although she (?) may not be that tiny to you anymore) around the house and perhaps he is concerned for your sake handling two babies while recovering from pnd and all the associated normal hormonal changes that occur in pregnancy anyway.

Just think of this as extra bonding time for you and your first :) (easier said than done i know!) but when you are both ready it will be so much better for everyone.

[elleandsam]

Im Sorry to hear that.
DH will come round when he is ready. he is probably still adjusting to having a tiny baby (although she (?) may not be that tiny to you anymore) around the house and perhaps he is concerned for your sake handling two babies while recovering from pnd and all the associated normal hormonal changes that occur in pregnancy anyway.

Just think of this as extra bonding time for you and your first :) (easier said than done i know!) but when you are both ready it will be so much better for everyone.

Yeah, I know, I guess I was just hoping he'd feel the same. But in the same vein I'm not going to trick him into something he doesn't want right now. I know he'll want another one day, I'll just have to learn to wait.

[macca27975]

I am not going to tell you, you are crazy cause that would mean I am calling myself crazy. I had my twins in September 08 and when they were 4 months old I feel pregnant with bubba number 3, he was due 4 October but arrived 2 weeks early and for 3 days I had 3 kids under the age of 1. DH and I never imagined it would happen for us naturally as we tried for 6 years before we got the twins and that was with the assistance of IVF but we didn't want to not try just in case we had to go back to IVF, but like they say what is meant to be is meant to be and bubba is here and we are doing really well. It is hard but I can imagine it would be hard no matter what the age gap is between your kids. We are so glad they are close in age, we are happy that they will grow up together and go the through school all at once, we were considering another one but I think I am done now, but not ruling it out but being more careful this time round and maybe in a year or two we will see where we are and maybe then we might be ready for another one, but it is great that my DH and I are on the same page, I am sure your DH will come around, and it is good to keep the age gap less then 3 years, well I believe so my DHs sister and he are 5 years apart and they are not close at all and have nothing in common so give him time and before you know it you will be pregnant again. All the best and take care

[Maybelline]

When my girlwas about 4/5 ,months old i really wanted to get preg again (had a great preg/b irth )...
Then i realised i was doing it for my on needs..i wanted a newborn and to be preg again..not really thinking about it in the long run...i felt envy for those who were preg..

We have now decided that we dont want another baby (i would only be having another to go through the experience again for my own selfish reasons)..i dont want 2 kids ..
We have always thought we would be a couple with A child...
The thought of 2 makes me feel tired!!!
I think its something that you go through a few months after having baby (seems like almost every mother longs for another..a girl in my mums group is preg again...i wouldnt want to be her !!!!!)
I guess follow yoiur gut instinct..but also make sure you and your man both want another now/in future
good luck

[florence]

There wil be a 15 month age gap between our 2 children and whilst I think it will be challenging initially, the rewards will pay off in the long run.
I want my children to be close emotinally and whilst a small age gap doesn't guarrantee it, it's likely.
There is no way I could have waited a year or more and gone back for seconds :no:
I wouldn't have wanted to!!
Well, I would have but I would have felt like I was just getting my life back and then having to go through all of the pregnancy and baby stuff again.

[Happy2be3]

!

My pregnancy was horrific, I tore during labour, the first 6 weeks of dd's life were hell, I'm still struggling with PND... and I want more? :confused:


I had a not so fun pregnancy, TERRIBLE labor, just as bad hospital stay and ended up with PTSD and PND... knowing how you feel, I would say DO NOT HAVE ANOTHER ONE RIGHT NOW! You will only be compounding the issues you have right now, which all need to be dealt with, properly and it takes time. I have a feeling maybe you think if you have another one right away that the new baby would FIX things... ??

I wish you all the best:hugs:

[Formerly Mick]

I agree with the others about a small age gap. My two boys are 2 years apart, exactly.

10/12/2003
10/12/2005

It can be a little challenging initially with two little ones, but it's fantastic (for me at least). They play so well together. We can do activities and I don't generally have to worry about one being excluded because they are too old or too young.

Also, I don't know if I could have gone back to it all after a large gap.

[Terrible2+1cutie]

i have 15 month age gaps between my older 2 boys who are now 6 and almost 5, i loved it, but i too also had straight forward pregnancies no sickness nothing. We sort of said if it happened it happened and well yes it happened when DS1 was 6 months old. We loved having this close a age gap, they entertained themselves and are best of friends. My only issue was when DS1 started school this year, DS2 started playing up something fierce cause he missed his best friend. I wanted DS3 to be closer to DS2 but that didn't happen. Took us 2 years to fall pregnant with DS3.

[elleandsam]

Well after seeing a councellor and talking through things, working on dd's feeding and sleeping issues, dh and I have decided to ttc when dd is 6 months old. So then they'll be close in age, but we'll have a good enough gap in the middle to enjoy time as the family of three :)

[Just Add Water]

That's awesome news hon, I'm so glad that you and DH are making decisions together. I hope you get the results you're after (and as someone else who had a rubbish pregnancy + 3 step kids with other dramas we are trying to have another bubs too... and ds is nearly 8 months). I too have been going to councelling to ensure everything will go as smootlhy as possible.

[kotakai]

That's great that you've both agreed on a TTC time.

My advice (for whatever it's worth :p) if you're wanting to have babies close together , is to do it before you have kids at school.

My 2 youngest are 12 mths apart (now 18mths & 6mths) They are easy enough to manage & cope with etc, but I hate having to have 4 kids up, fed, dressed & out the door by 8.30am to get the older 2 to school & having to wake 1 or usually both up in the afternoon to go & pick them up.

If you didn't have to go anywhere at a particular time, it would be so much easier.

Good luck when the time comes :babydust2:

[elleandsam]

This will be our second and last. Dh is planning on storing some of his swimmers (just in case he changes his mind) and getting 'fixed.' so i'm hoping for a boy so then our family will feel complete. He even has a name! Corey Jackson :) can't wait to meet him. But a little sister for E would be a blessing all the same.

[Bel1978]

My only problem with a small age gap is that DD had her 1st birthday to her self.. and she did her brother was her just after it

[AllBoys4Bessy]

My boys are 11.5 months apart and will be 3 and 4 in Feb next year. Having them at such a close age has been fantastic! we live on a meduim size property in rural north qld so there are not may other kiddes there age to play with and we only go into town once a week if i can help it. I must admit though although i didn't find it that hard,the first 12 months of DS2 life are a blur and I feel that I have missed out on the special milestones even though i was there. I got very tired all the time and sort of went into auto mode. I was working a night job (7pm-1am) 3 nights a week since DS2 was 4 weeks old but finished up when he was 7 months in favor of what was meant to be a part time job 4 days a week. (20-25hr) which ended up being 40 -45hr week plus what work I took home with me. I only lasted 4 months with that company before moving and being a SAHM. Its really is great to see them play together and they realy are the best of mates. Im now 34 weeks PG with #3 and really hope that he will have the same closeness as DS1 and DS2 do. we are also planing on trying for #4 when DS3 will be arround 6month.