View Full Version : am I mean?
Today - I went to playgroup and they had monte carlo biscuits and bakers delight bun.
My DS made a b-line for the biscuits with the other children and I told him no - as he did not want his lunch. (despite being offered it). The mother who was near the bickies then said oh - poor bubby.. mean mummy.:shame:
I actually felt quite bad and I know I shouldn't - but it was as though I was depriving him .... anyway I would like to get your take on this kind of thing .
The comment aside - should I relax a little? am i being mean?
No, you are not being mean-not at all. Your child's nutrition is such an important aspect of your parenting and you only get one go at it. Sweets are just that-sweets. Not something to be eaten prior to lunchtime. He'll thank you when he is older.:thumbsup:
If you don't want him eating monte carlo biccies or sweet buns then that is up to you. It does not make you a mean mummy because you obviously care about the amount of sugar and unneccesary food naughties your DS eats!!
I would much prefer if playgroups had fruit cut up and put out for the kiddies rather than sweet biscuits, so I can totally understand you saying no to him eating them. I would too!!
I don't think you're mean - I actually changed playgroups because the last one I went to kept serving up rubbish like chocolate biscuits and pringles:eek: :no: . My new playgroup now serves fresh fruit and crackers with vegemite etc, with any "naughty" mummy treats kept away from the kid's table and out of reach.
You are the one responsible for your child's good nutrition, don't feel mean, feel happy with yourself for caring so much. Oh, and give that other mum a clip over the ear!
I don't think you are being mean at all, I would've done the same.
I think the other mother was in the wrong, who gives her the right to make a comment like that :shame: Your child = your rules
I think the other mother should probably mind her own business.
That said, you might want to relax a little on the whole nutrition thing if you are stressing about whether or not your kid should have had a biscuit!!
But its your kid your rules, precisely.
:yes: I would have done the same as you DS doesnty get sweet treats until after proper meals have been eaten all up. As for the other mother maybe she should keep her comments to herself or tell you what she thinks when the kids arent in earshot.
Your should have countered with "poor baby - rude mummy"
I hate it when other people try to dictatet what you are feeding your kids especially when you try and keep them away from junk.
Don't feel bad at all. I have this issue with my MIL all the time. If my boys don't eat their meals they don't get treats. But she always tries to give them something, she'll slip them lollies when we're at her house and I'm not looking and if they come here she'll bring them a bag of lollies. Which I chuck in the bin. I'm not a big fan of lollies, especially as they have genetic tooth problems in their family.
It's terrible that ppl try to make mums feel guilty about ANYTHING.
I don't think it is mean of you to say no to your child.
I think its the job of parent to make these choices.
People don't ask me b4 they give my children treats and its frustrating.
i face this all the time with my daycare mum.
i ended up quite cross at her.
what you feed your child, what you don't let them eat, it's all up to you as the parent.
personally, big round of applause for you :yelclap: for not allowing yourself to be bullied and giving in.
you go healthy mumma!!!!:smiliedance:
Good on you for not letting your child eat ****. Biscuits especially - it's just like consuming a cup of sugar. Sugar destroys the immune system and causes behavioural problems. It's not just 'empty calories' it's detrimental to your little one's health.
That woman was probably trying to drag you down because she has subconscious guilt about the junk she feeds her own child!!
Stick to your guns! :yes:
I also think that the other mummy should keep her opinion to herself, you have every right to decide what your child eats & when :yes:
Olivia has anaphylaxis (sp?) to nuts & so we are really careful about what she eats & I would say the only upside to her having it, is that ppl are ok with me being really pedantic about them giving her food & no one gives her anything without checking with me first :yes:
When her bub is being taken to the dentist for it's first filling, you can just smile smugly.
I'd tell my little one "No" if she was trying to eat something bad for her in place of a wholesome meal too.
I'm going to go against the trend and say, yes the mother was rude for saying 'poor bubby' but one biscuit in a setting such as playgroup or a party isn't going to cause instant cavities or cause your child to have an uncontrollable sugar high for the rest of the day.
I also think that if the children don't eat things such as cakes, biscuits, chips etc then the mummies shouldn't be seen having 'naughty' things either.
Speaking personally, I can't keep sugary treats out of the boys' diets completely or forever...but knowing/treating these things as 'sometimes foods' as opposed to banning them all together doesn't seem to result in the 'look of a person possessed' that I've seen children turn into because there are biscuits on a table & they've been told 'no' all the time.
Everything in moderation....;)
marmaduke, thats how I feel too.
No, IMO i think you done the right thing by sticking to your guns. I get told that im too a mean mum because i wont let my 11mth old have anything sweet. Kids learn fast and if you start bending the rules (ie. sweets before meals) while your out they will know that the're are different rules for home and when your not.
Im not saying not to give them treats every once and a while before a meal but if you say no - you mean it and noone can change that.
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