Police caution mum after smacking child with wooden spoon

[WorkingClassMum]

A Victorian woman has been questioned by police and threatened to be charged with assault after hitting her 9-year-old daughter with a wooden spoon.
Claire Davidson was warned by police that she risked an assault-with-a-weapon charge after her child revealed in a classroom discussion that her mother hit her with the spoon.
Ms Davidson said she was shocked when a support worker from Yea Public School reported the smacking to police.
"We only use the wooden spoon and that is only when she is being naughty and we give her fair chance to rectify the situation and we talk her through it," she told the Herald Sun.
She said her daughters gets three warnings and, then, "it is spoon time."
Ms Davidson of Flowerdale, north of Melbourne, was told by police she would be charged with assault if another instance of her daughter being hit with the spoon was reported again.
The incident has sparked a debate about smacking between parents and child-welfare advocates.
A criminal lawyer said that whether parents are charged with assaulting their children or not depends on how severe the smacking is.
"Just because you are mother or daughter doesn't make you exempt from the law," criminal lawyer James Dowsley said.




Interesting - and maybe we can discuss this without having the thread locked.

The up side is that we are moving towards children being given the same protection from assault as an adult

The other side is that we are telling parents what to do without education

[dillydAlly]

My mum snapped many a wooden spoon over our bottoms when we were little!!! I even remember my mother breaking one over my brothers head :o......

Not entirely sure it's appropriate these days though.........I am of the mind set that children learn what you expose them too and if disciplining with a weapon is your only method then you need to look at some different parenting stratergies!

[Pippi Longstocking]

Just to add an interesting spin on it...


A Victorian husband has been questioned by police and threatened to be charged with assault after hitting his 29-year-old wife with a wooden spoon.
Dudeman Davidson was warned by police that he risked an assault-with-a-weapon charge after his wife revealed in a workplace discussion that her husband hit her with the spoon.
Mr Davidson said he was shocked when a support worker from his wife's workplace reported the smacking to police.
"I only use the wooden spoon and that is only when she is being naughty and I give her fair chance to rectify the situation and I talk her through it," he told the Herald Sun.
He said his wife gets three warnings and, then, "it is spoon time."
Mr Davidson of Flowerdale, north of Melbourne, was told by police he would be charged with assault if another instance of his wife being hit with the spoon was reported again.


Does this sound reasonable to anyone? Why are adults afforded more rights than children? :(

[Areca]

I think it's good that she was warned. If a man hit his wife with a wooden spoon it would be abuse. I don't agree with smacking as discipline because I don't believe it's affective but considering the majority of those that do smack insist they aren't hurting their kids because they don't hit hard enough I wonder if anyone will defend this mother rights to smack her child with a wooden spoon......after all the intent would have to be for it to hurt.

The article is only very small so hopefully they are educating this mother on other ways and means to discipline her. The government does have programs in place to educate parents on effective ways to discipline without smacking.

[bronny-jane]

Does this sound reasonable to anyone? Why are adults afforded more rights than children? :(

good point....
i dont agree with smacking a child with anything..an open hand perhaps.. but not a spoon, belt etc...

[BigRedV]

Husband hitting wife with a wooden spoon = abuse.

Mother hitting daughter with a wooden spoon = abuse.

Hitting = abuse, end of story.

[MyTwoBlue]

I will smack my children when they are naughty, i will not smack them with a 'weapon'.
I wonder what would happen if we went back to when I was a child and being strapped was part of our discipline...what would happen to my father? He would prob go to jail and their would be nothing i could do to stop that!

[Nomsie]

Years ago it would have been acceptable. I have memories of my Mum using a wooden spoon on my older brother and sister. (Never on me; I learnt from their mistakes! ;)) She would later go back and apologise, and tell them why she felt driven to give them a smack. We never thought anything of it. She even broke a spoon one day on my brother, but he turned around and laughed at her before running off. I guess that's just the way things were back in the 80's?

These days though, we know so much more about child psychology. We know it can have adverse affects on children. We know that using violence doesn't solve problems, and that in most circumstances, it just compounds the problem.

But that doesn't stop people from doing it. I agree that there needs to be more education on how to deal with children- and it needs to be EASILY accessible (sp?) for everyone. Not just Martha and Harry who live on snob hill and who have the resources to be able to find out about this sort of stuff, but for Sheila and Bob, who live in your everyday street and work in everyday jobs.


And, ot- but pmsl at Pippi Longstocking re- "Dudeman". Must be the coolest guy in town with a name like that! ;) :laughing:

[Oya]

I was hit with a wooden spoon and smacked with a hand, both of those hurt me and felt the same as when I was actually punched by my father once. It's abuse, be it hand, spoon, fist, belt whatever. It is ABUSE.

I have lost it with my 29 month old a couple of times and I don't try and justify it, he didn't deserve it I assaulted him and I have to live with that.

[~Bec~]

Am I the only person that finds it ironic they are both called "Victorian" ;) (In case anyone misinterprets, I'm not making fun of Victoria, just the irony that they are both called "Victorian" and their behaviour could be argued to be "Victorian" - as in the period of Queen Victoria)

In my opinion, hitting a child or anyone with a wooden spoon is not acceptable.

[Nomsie]

Bec- PL edited the original article to change it from a mother hitting her DD to a DH hitting his DW. For perspective, ya know? :)

[florence]

I am of the mind set that children learn what you expose them too and if disciplining with a weapon is your only method then you need to look at some different parenting stratergies!

:iagree: Children learn what they hear and see. Do we really want our children thinking this sort of behaviour is appropriate?
Is it O.K that if our children don't behave or do what we want/expect of them that we hit them with our hands or anything else? :no:
I don't ever want my children to think that it's O.K to hit someone if that person frustrates them or doesn't do the 'right thing' in their eyes.

[MumNeedsCoffee]

My mum used the wooden spoon.
Me and my sisters had wooden spoons in the kitchen with our names written on them :laughing:

Child abuse is of course not funny. But in our case our parents never ever actually caused us harm. I can't actually ever remember being hit with the wooden spoon. We did get smacked but it was only ever a tap on the bum, and I think just the threat of it scared us straight.

I totally don't agree with smacking, or resorting to wooden spoons etc.
I agree that it's not the best way to teach our kids discipline is to use violence as this may teach our kids when things do go their way to resort to the same.

However I totally understand why it happens.
I don't have a child yet who is at an age to do naughty things. However I have dealt with kids and I know sometimes they are just so focussed on what they want that you can talk until your lips fall off and they won't have heard a word you said and a little smack will certainly get their attention. And especially in those really dangerous situations, like your child keeps undoing their seatbelt or running out into traffic. You resort to a smack out of desperation to teach them no, we don't do that!

It's just a shame some parents take it to the extreme and actually physically abuse their children, or use the smack as a regular form of discipline rather than just using it in those most dangerous and desperate situations.

[Lil Mamma]

We got a smack on the bum with the wooden spoon in extreme circumstances, probably once a year, we definetly deserved it on those occasions.

I personally don't smack, however I think it is pretty extreme to call this child abuse. Our police & child protection resources are already strained as it is, let them protect the children who really need it! We have kids out there suffering every day from serious abuse & neglect, a smack on the bum with a wooden spoon is not something we should be wasting our resources on.

You can't compare smacking your wife with a spoon to smacking your child. Most parents who occasionally smack do it out of love as a way of cautioning them from particularly bad/dangerous behaviour. I can't imagine they would actually enjoy doing it. Men who abuse their partners are trying to dominate & control the relationship. It is a parents job to teach & guide their child, a husband/wife situation is a partnership.

Again, I don't agree with it as an everyday thing but I believe in extreme instances it is helpful and the only way to give the child a real wake up call. Those who have never been in the situation where that was an option really can't judge, because each child is different and respond to discipline differently.

[Fuchsia!]

I will smack my children when they are naughty, i will not smack them with a 'weapon'.


My mum started off with smacking and when that wasn't enough she up the anti and started using a belt. As far as im concerned your hand is a weapon. It can cause just as much physical and emotional trauma then a spoon.

[Whispers]

I will smack my children when they are naughty, i will not smack them with a 'weapon'.


I am with you,although I do rarely smack at all but there are times that I do and I would not use anything but my hand to give them a tap on the bum

[Whispers]

My mum started off with smacking and when that wasn't enough she up the anti and started using a belt. As far as im concerned your hand is a weapon. It can cause just as much physical and emotional trauma then a spoon.
Just because your mother done this does not mean everyone else will.

Will not be contributing anymore to this thread as I don't wish to argue anymore and maybe your thread might stay opened :)

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

No child ever deserves to be assaulted.

If your child isn't listening a smakc usually doesn't work, because it just escalates the situation, and often children start crying etc.

I don't agree with harming children through smacking to stop them from harming themselves.:confused: I don't get it.

If my child is about to run on the road I yell in a loud stern voice STOP. because I don't yell at him very often it shocks him into stopping. If I am close enough I will grab him and say "Don't run on the road because of xyz"

A perfect example just occured. My mum was over and she wanted to go out the font to smoke away from the children. My DS said "I'm sorry nana you can't go out the front because the gates are open and the road is dangerous". He is three, I have never smacked him, he understands very well what is dangerous.

[Fuchsia!]

Just because your mother done this does not mean everyone else will.

Will not be contributing anymore to this thread as I don't wish to argue anymore and maybe your thread might stay opened :)

doesn't mean that people won't.

I actually asked my mum, and she said she had no intentions at all to go beyond smacking as she had an abusive father. But things got out of hand.

Im just pointing out that not all things to go plan, people may have full intentions of not going past smacking but it can and might happen and its something to think about if you smack your children.

I used to smack my kids, i thought it was what was suppose to be done, i learnt it from my mother. then something snapped in me and i realised that what i was doing wasn't right and i was just turning into my mother.

I have had a lot of trouble coming to terms with what my mum done to me, as much as i love her, i also dislike her for what she done, i don't have much respect for her at all and i have even seen phsycologist for my trauma and repurcussions with what she done.

Im not trying to cause trouble and annoy people, its just something that is really close to my heart and i still remember the pain, fear and confusion i felt as a child and i don't want any other child feeling those things.

[fugiel]

However I totally understand why it happens.
I don't have a child yet who is at an age to do naughty things. However I have dealt with kids and I know sometimes they are just so focussed on what they want that you can talk until your lips fall off and they won't have heard a word you said and a little smack will certainly get their attention. And especially in those really dangerous situations, like your child keeps undoing their seatbelt or running out into traffic. You resort to a smack out of desperation to teach them no, we don't do that!

QUOTE]

You are very right about that Skyebaby :yelclap:

[mum2bubba]

I don't agree with using objects (wooden spoons, belts etc) to hit kids (or adults for that matter) though Im sure many parents do it because they think it's right, they just want to discipline thier kids and don't think they're being abusive. I have smacked my kids from time to time (with an open hand) and felt really bad, no way would I use anything else, I am not smacking my kids anymore (well, I'm gonna try anyway). My parents used the wooden spoon on me and my sisters when we were naughty, I never thought they were abusive but I look back now and I don't agree with it. There are other, better ways to disciline kids without hitting them.

Anyway thats my 2 cent. Sorry about all the grammar and speling mistakes I'm feeding Nathan.