what to do?

[priya]

hi all,

desperately need your advice. I am a first time mum of a two month old DD. I am 29 years old married for two years now, have came here only one year and two months before. I was doing my postgraduation back there. I came immediately after completing it.

The problem is that at first i was thinking for looking for a job when Ria is one year old and then ttc when she is 2 years old. But i am thinking [seriously ]to ttc now because i have no guarantee that i will def have a job after one year and secondly with a maternity leave. I am thinking to go with the flow [ without any contraception] because my sister is having a lot of problem in conceiving her second baby.{am considering the age factor also.} She is only three years older than me and ttc for 2 years now[with no abnormality whatsoever?]

Can i stay at home for 3 years and then apply for the job[and in turn have two babies] Would i be looked down upon[ as to i am at home for 3 years.]

I don't know. I am very confused.:( I HOPE I HAVE EXPLAINED MY SITUATION WELL ENOUGH]

Just wanted to add that there is no major financial problem. I just want to work.

[Niki]

i cant see any reason why u would be looked down upon for staying at home and then looking for work, i do no with the maternity leave u have to be there for atleast a yr then fall preg to get it!

[FourAngelKisses]

Is there any way that you can survive on one income so that you don't have to go back to work until the youngest is 5?

I know nothing about maternity leave, so can't help there, sorry.

[Sarie]

I don't really know why you would be looked down on? Be a mother, as far as I'm concerned, is more important than any paid job I know of.
If you're only going back to work because you want to, not need to then why not stay at home with your kids?

[priya]

hi,

thanks for the replies. DH's income is sufficient for the family. It is just that i feel too bored because he is on long hour shifts. I know that i will regret when the kids go older because i always wanted to work. In my country [India] your job opportunities decrease if you stay at home for a long period. That's why i am worried.

[Sarie]

If it were me I would stay home. But I'm a contented SAHM type anyway. I wouldn't even consider going back to work till all my kids are at school.

[priya]

thanks sarie,

i am a bit undecided. I have dedicated whole of my 10 years in this subject and am out of my home since then. That's the reason i want to work. But when i think of sending Ria to child care center the thought sends me shivers.

[mumma_jessy]

Im a happy SAHM, at least for now, i've decided to stay at home unitl my children go to school and then i will do the career bit. I didn't want my kids to go into care unless i absolutley had to. Which is why i chose to do it this way. I also had my children reasonably close together so now within 5 years i'll be back at work!

Goodluck with your decision!

[Sarie]

thanks sarie,

i am a bit undecided. I have dedicated whole of my 10 years in this subject and am out of my home since then. That's the reason i want to work. But when i think of sending Ria to child care center the thought sends me shivers.
:hugs:
I can understand. I was very lucky we had bought a shop just before DS1 was born and at the same time the contracts were signed my DH got offered a fantastic government job.
I couldn't let him knock it back so I went into the shop full time and took my two week old bub with me. There is no way I could have put him into care and I must say it was the hardest thing I have ever done, running a shop single handed and raising a baby. But I would never do it again.
But I can also understand when you've put so much into your career, this was why we couldn't know back the gov job for my DH, finally he could use his studies.
Go by your gut and see what makes you happy. You may go back to work and love it or you may not. Take each day as it comes.
Just remember you need to be working full time for at least 12 months before you can claim maternity leave!
Good luck!

[priya]

thanks mumma jessy and sarie,

i think that i will give it a go. It is not necessary that i will fall preg in the first shot[took me three months] DH is happy with whatever decision i make and we want only two kids] So why don't i take the plunge and see what the future beholds for me.

THANKS A LOT.

[Sarie]

No worries, you have to do what is right for you. It took us 2 years to fall pregnant with #1, #2 was a surprise and #3 has taken us 6 months to conceive.
Good luck!

[Pixie]

Pryia I think you are doing well for being away from family in a completly different country.
Here in Australia you won't be looked down upon, many people will admire and respect your choice for staying home with your child/ren. Many women have their kids and return to the workforce after many, many years out of it.

Just keep yourself if possible up to date with your career choice, try to make friends with those people to..not easy I know to make friends in a new country.

Good luck!

[priya]

thanks sarie and M&P,

i have got a lot of good advice here. I have thought about it a lot yesterday and i think that i have made a right decision. It is better to go with the flow rather than go brake go.

I think that i will be able to handle two kids in such a short gap.[DD is not a good sleeper right now]. I am geting habituated to less sleep already so i am prepared.

M&P- From your signature it appears that you are also ttc. So we are sailing in the same boat. Good luck.