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faroutbrusselsprout
13-10-2009, 08:36
DS1 is a very intelligent, funny, intense, emotional, gorgeous little boy. However I am starting to feel concerned about his emotional development.
What has prompted me to post is the comments he made this morning.
It was a horrible morning we had a huge argument as I wouldn't let him play the computer until he had finished getting ready for school.
Lost the plot - major tantrum - sent to his room.
It's the comments after that worry me the most.
After everything calmed down, we had to change his car seat from one car to the other as DH took him to school. He made that comment he didn't care that he wouldn't have a car seat as he didn't care if he died, this progressed into him saying that he is a stupid person and wishes he looked different and he doesn't like himself... :(
I of course begin crying as it breaks my heart to hear him speak this way. DH thinks he says it for attention but the fact that he says it at all is enough for concern.
I battled horribly in my teens with depresssion aand self esteem issues and still have some issues today.
I am questioning everything I am as a mother and am terrified he will turn out like me..
I won't go into detail but I look back at the first couple of years of his life and I believe I was emotionally absent as a mother for some of this time.
This isn't the first time he has spoken this way and I am really worried that DH and I aren't doing the "right" things to stop these thought processes.

Has anyone else had their young child speak like this? What/How did you deal with it..?

nothanksbye
13-10-2009, 08:52
ohhhhh honey :hugs::hugs::hugs:
My 5 year old DD does the same.
She says I dont like my life, I am stupid , you dont love me...

etc etc etc etc....

It broke my heart when she first did it too.

I took her to a psychologist :o who was very sweet but said its normal and is a form of attention seeking.

So now when she says it I just dont react. She is starting to realise it doesnt get her attention.

When shes in a good mood we talk about whats great in her life and how loved she is..

She knows shes loved though, its just that she used to get so much attention from being sad.

faroutbrusselsprout
13-10-2009, 08:57
ohhhhh honey :hugs::hugs::hugs:
My 5 year old DD does the same.
She says I dont like my life, I am stupid , you dont love me...

etc etc etc etc....

It broke my heart when she first did it too.

I took her to a psychologist :o who was very sweet but said its normal and is a form of attention seeking.

So now when she says it I just dont react. She is starting to realise it doesnt get her attention.

When shes in a good mood we talk about whats great in her life and how loved she is..

She knows shes loved though, its just that she used to get so much attention from being sad.

Really? wow....I feel better knowing a psychologist said it was a form of attention seeking!
I'm not sure whther or not to dismiss it as I would then hate for him to feel as though we aren't listening!
Thanks so much for your post I really needed to know others were going through the same thing...

nothanksbye
13-10-2009, 09:09
Really? wow....I feel better knowing a psychologist said it was a form of attention seeking!
I'm not sure whther or not to dismiss it as I would then hate for him to feel as though we aren't listening!
Thanks so much for your post I really needed to know others were going through the same thing...

Yeah I dont dismiss it either..just no reaction.

So if she comes out with I hate my life..

I say something ike.Oh baby thats not good, I love my life with you in it.

Its hard and I have to admit i spent months stressing abut it...but now I see the pattern..she only hates her life or feels dwn when I am angry or not letting her do what she wants.

kar
13-10-2009, 12:30
Maybe you could take your DS to a counsellor or psychologist for an assessment and see whether they also think it is attention seeking at this stage?

Must be really stressful for you, but I am sure that you did the best you could at the time, mother guilt is a powerful thing but try not to beat yourself up :hugs: