Have you ever...be honest.

[girly]

Been attracted to someone other than you partner...

How did you 'fix' that little problem...

[aardvark]

Yes, and to fix it, you put distance between yourself and the "problem".

[Blueberry Crumble]

No, not really (in 12 years LOL) ... But if I was and I valued my relationship, I would cut all ties with that person.

It is normal for us to feel attracted to more than one person, it is what you do with those feelings that count.

[Myztiks#1Fan]

well considering i am single, there is someone who i have always been attracted to however he is in a relationship. i have noticed esp of late that i seem to compare so many guys to him and nobody can ever measure up to him. i dont see him about all that often but when i do, we will have a bit of chat as usually i am working or he is working and is quite busy.

[moozle]

Honestly, no. But then again, I'm not really a visual person IYKWIM?

I have had this problem in previous relationships though. Not necessarily because I was physically attracted to them but I obviously found something in them that attracted me to them. I think it's ok to look but don't let things get out of hand. Whatever you do... don't fantasize about them, sexually - it is NOT going to help you at all!

Just remind yourself how far you've come with your partner and if you're feeling a little stale in the relationship, do something to spice it up a little :yes: Also, it helps to think of him as the father of your child(ren). You wouldn't want anything bad to happen to their Daddy or for him to feel sad.

If you feel like the attraction might get out of hand - keep your distance. It's dangerous as the PP's have said.

[Opinionated]

Yes, and to fix it, you put distance between yourself and the "problem".


Exactly. My kids losing their happy family is enough motivation to keep me on the straight and narrow.

[MumNeedsCoffee]

Yes, I was crazy attracted to someone else

But I kept reminding myself of all the reasons why I love DP
And I realised that this other person was so much like DP in so many ways

Alot about attraction though is fantasy
If you act on your attraction then the reality may not actually be all that hot and what a mess you would have created in the process.....
If you have a good thing why would you risk it for that

I think it can be a good thing, really makes you think of all the reasons why you want to be with your partner and not someone else

And if you can't come up with the reasons, like I have in the past, maybe it's time to end it, as I did

[kylza]

:no:
I am so in love with my husband, even after 11 years together no other man has ever taken my fancy.
I agree the best thing to do would be to distance yourself from the "problem". Unfortunatly sometimes these things happen, I'm just lucky to have found my soul mate :bee:.

Ps. When I was a young filly, I was attracted to someone while in a relationship, That attraction was so great I'm now married to him!
Hope things work out :)

[Baldie's Mum]

Yes, in 2 relationships i have been in. 1 relationship was when i was young. But i acted on it. I felt terrible! 1 when i was old enough to know better, and i did! I put space in between us, but it didn't stop to rumors...and they were enough to ruin our relationship. I never had closure and i think i will always love what we had forever. Weird... I am so happy with hubby, he is an amazing man and i would never be happier even if i tried.

[WorkingClassMum]

Yes, very attracted to a certain man.

I'd love to put distance, or cut ties, but that's not possible.

I know the feelings mutual as well - he's made it very clear.

I just know that I'd never never hurt my kids, and I'd never hurt MOTH like that (even though ATM I could throttle him)

If I ever leave MOTH, it'll be because our relationship has broken down, not because someone has come between us.

[Blueberry Crumble]

Exactly. My kids losing their happy family is enough motivation to keep me on the straight and narrow.

Exactly :yes: I would die of guilt before I did anything to hurt my husband.

[Blueberry Crumble]

Those of you who have felt attraction for another man, does your partner know? Did you tell them? I would feel so guilty I would want to confess :(

[dillydAlly]

Yes I have :yes:

We have now been together for over three years and are expecting our first child in three weeks :D

[WorkingClassMum]

Those of you who have felt attraction for another man, does your partner know? Did you tell them? I would feel so guilty I would want to confess :(

I'm not guilty of anything - I have nothing to confess.

I feel something, but have never led anyone one, flirted or even considered doing anything.

Confessing may make me feel better - but it's not going to do MOTH any good except to raise suspicion where there is nothing to suspect IYKWIM.

[Lil M]

Yes - Jonny Depp. Still not "fixed" it yet!!!:laughing:

[Baldie's Mum]

In my younger relationship yes i told my boyfriend...came clean and it hurt it both! My other relationship i didn't say a word, but so much space between us but rumors got the better, but my boyfriend never gave me the chance to explain. *Shrug* neither relationship has anything to do with my hubby con i have never ever had outside feelings in my marraige and being a long distance relationship in the beginning i never had the need to act out.

[MumNeedsCoffee]

Those of you who have felt attraction for another man, does your partner know? Did you tell them? I would feel so guilty I would want to confess :(

Yes and No

I was in a relationship for 2 years, living with him.
The relationship had broken down 6 months prior, I was sleeping on the lounge.
I had got drunk at a work xmas party that he was supposed to come with me to but changed his mind at the last second, and flirted with a guy, nothing more.
But that was the moment I knew it was time to end it.
So we split up.
A few weeks later I had started seeing the other guy, it was only ever going to be a fling because he was going overseas.
But XDP's friends saw us....
So I fessed up, he asked what I liked about him.
XDP was a bit of a slob, he seriously other than his work clothes only ever wore the one haiwaiin shirt and pair of white shorts.
And the fling took me out to dinner just about every night, wore suits, ordered champagne and strawberries etc
Poor XDP showed up at my parents house a couple of months later having lost 20 kilos and wearing a suit.
He was shattered.....
His self esteem totally shattered and so hurt
And anyway I didn't break up with him because he didn't wear suits
I should have just said yes I saw someone else, I'm a horrible person and I'm sorry

So with my current DP, no I would never confess no matter the amount of guilt I felt, it would just make him question our relationship and possibly himself.

[CookiesRYum]

Yes, my DH (then DP) had a mate he met through work who was super hot.

He would come over almost every night - I told DH straight up I thought he was hot and that I perved on him.

But, nothing ever ever happened and never would have - you just make a mental decision not to let any feelings develop and never ever to cross the line etc.

It was just harmless fun and because EVERYONE knew the truth (including the guy) there was never an opp to eveythign to happen or for it to get wierd.

It's normal to find ppl attractive, its not in our control but how we respond is in our control.

Having said that, I would never have hang out with him without DH there or go out drinking in a group with him etc. A few times he turned up when DH wasn't home and I didn't invite him.

You have to respect your partner,

[SPC]

Nope. I'm naturally monogamous. The women in my family are like geese and mate for life, even the widows never remarry. I fell for a completely inappropriate man a few years ago and had to leave Europe to get away from him!

[Beckybug]

Nope never have looked at another man, and never will. I love my hubby too much to put him through the hurt of feeling inferior and not wanted. Hubby and I have no secrets, upfront and brutally honest with each other.

THIS IS JUST MY OPINION, NOT HAVING A SHOT AT ANYONE!
I don't know how some people can say they are happy with their partner etc and then look at another person.

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

Yes I have and I would never act on it.

Because I am completely happy with my partner (as happy as one can be I believe).

I still see the person, but I am never alone with them. Ever.

[Luna Lovegood]

Yes- when DH and I had only been dating for a few months we started to get lazy a bit and we stopped putting effort into our relationship. I went out one night with friend to cheer myself up and I saw my ex and got butterflies...one of my mates pulled me up and told me I was being an idiot and being with my ex was never good for me anyway, and any feeling I had were alcohol fueled.

The next day I told DH about it, and we worked things out really well- obviously considering we're now married. Since then I have not felt anything for anyone...

ETA: I avoid my ex ...we had a strong physical attraction...so these things are better avoided even though I wouldn't act on it- I just don't like looking at him and thinking...stuff...

[Myztiks#1Fan]

I still see the person, but I am never alone with them. Ever.

thats what the person who i have strong feelings for said that we can never be in the same room as he can feel the chemistry as well so we will never catch up as i dont want to ruin his relationship esp since there is a child involved. the only time i would act on our feelings is if he was single but i honestly dont think that would happen. this chemistry has been alive for years. i find him to be an amazing person. he is a good looking guy but i am more attracted to his personality, how caring he is, how understanding etc.

[bronny-jane]

when im ovulating every man seems attractive:laughing:

[CookiesRYum]

when im ovulating every man seems attractive:laughing:

:laughing::yelclap::laughing::yelclap:

That's just too funny.. thanks for making me laugh - what a great way to start a relaxing Sunday :thumbsup:

[threechooks]

I work in a male dominated industry where I work closely and intensly with many men and have had several little crushes over the years. They seem to come and go in a matter of weeks. Harmless :yes: If any one of them made a move, I'd pack my dacks... :laughing:.I don't see it as cheating. Why would I tell my DH, I haven't done anything wrong...simply had some sexy thoughts about other men. When I find myself getting too close to another man, I have to take a step back and make sure its my DH that I ultimately tell my daily problems to and make him the main man in my life.

[WorkingClassMum]

I love my hubby too much to put him through the hurt of feeling inferior and not wanted.


I don't know how some people can say they are happy with their partner etc and then look at another person.



:) Becky - it's the love and respect I have for the MOTH that means that I acknowledge my feelings, but I would never act upon my feelings.

I'm not looking FOR another man, but do feel attracted to one man who is in our lives.

[Ardentwhispers]

Sure. I don't know what you mean by problem though? It's one thing to be attracted to someone and another to act on it. Just don't act on it = no problem. I think it's fairly natural to be attracted to other people, when you're single you're not just attracted to one person - why should it be any different when you're in a relationship?

[sandy cheeks]

I'm single but sure this has happened as long as you dont act on attraction then all is good.
I think to a extent you lie to yourself if you think you cant or he cant be attracted to anyone else.
My mum has openly told my dad which friends of his she thinks are hot (none at all imo:barf:) I think if you cant trust yourself alone with that person there may be a bit of a problem I was very attracted to a ex's bestie but would never (even now if I saw him and he was single) crack onto or let him know how I felt.
The grass always seems greener, but takes just as long to mow :yes:

[Bubs'n'Roses]

Yep, years ago. I was with my boyfriend on/off for like 3 years, it was weird. And then I met my DP during one of our off periods. My on/off called me the day after I met him to see if I'd go out somewhere with him but I found myself so attracted to my to be DP that I went with that. I've not been attracted to anyone else since. I often joke to DP that I think I'm broken now because no one seems as good as him. He says it's all in my head, but I'm right. No one as good as him....

*I'll go off to my la la love land now....*

[Leisa21]

Definitely, I'm not dead:laughing:. I love my husband to bits but I'm a woman with sexual desires and I discuss them with my husband. We have a very open relationship and communication is the key. I wouldn't ever sleep with another man or woman but I have thought about it. I've told my husband and we talk it through and well yeah the rest would be TMI LOL.

Honestly for us it's not that big of a deal. It's not like we seek out people or anything silly like that and it's only happened once or twice but yeah for us it's a non issue. We've got nothing to hide and nothing to be ashamed about. I would be worried if I couldn't talk to my husband about these things. Nothing is sacred with us LOL

[bronny-jane]

I don't know how some people can say they are happy with their partner etc and then look at another person.


theres a huge difference in finding others attractive and having an affair;)

ive been with my dh for over 9 years, neither of us has or would cheat:no:.. thats just not who we are, but its normal to look at another and think "he/she looks hot" big difference to thinking "i would love to bump uglies with you " or pursuing them..