View Full Version : Four Kids?????? OMG!!!!!!
FOURtunate
12-07-2006, 15:40
I am getting so sick of the surprised reactions I get when I tell people I have four children. It's almost like you're about to confess to a crime when you say "I have four".
Sometimes the comments border on rudeness. The other day, I ran into an old acquaintance while out with my adorable 2 year old (the newest member of our clan). She said "Oh another one?" and then proceeded to yell out to a friend "This woman is insane. She has four!"
I don't think I'm a criminal. Or insane. So why does society put a limit of three children on every family?
VENT VENT VENT. Does anybody else experience these things? I think that I am a minority in my area, and that I guess people see large families as low income earners/uneducated/deeply religious. Who knows??? We are none of these things, but feel that we have to explain that all of our children were, and are WANTED. And we didn't keep going for the boy.
madwoman
12-07-2006, 18:24
I'm expecting my 4th and the reaction i've had from many people when i've told them is really quite dissapointing. My good friends are delighted obviously but apart from that the only good reactions have been from aquaintances who also have 4 kids.
Generally i think people believe that if you have 4 children you are being irresponsible, each to his own, i personally believe if you havethe perfect one of each family you are a bit dull, boring and predictable but thats just my opinion:D
MW
I only have 3 and I get the same reaction.
They must think we are crazy or greedy depending on their persective.
When I tell some ppl we want 5 or 6 their mouths fall open!
They just don't understand it.
KarniF00l
12-07-2006, 19:50
I am getting so sick of the surprised reactions I get when I tell people I have four children. It's almost like you're about to confess to a crime when you say "I have four".
Sometimes the comments border on rudeness. The other day, I ran into an old acquaintance while out with my adorable 2 year old (the newest member of our clan). She said "Oh another one?" and then proceeded to yell out to a friend "This woman is insane. She has four!"
I don't think I'm a criminal. Or insane. So why does society put a limit of three children on every family?
VENT VENT VENT. Does anybody else experience these things? I think that I am a minority in my area, and that I guess people see large families as low income earners/uneducated/deeply religious. Who knows??? We are none of these things, but feel that we have to explain that all of our children were, and are WANTED. And we didn't keep going for the boy.
Don't worry what ppl say hon. I get the exact same thing... and almost at the point of telling them that their opinions and smart remarks are not wanted or needed.
FOURtunate
12-07-2006, 20:22
I am just sooooooo annoyed. I've put up with it for 2 years, and I'm at boiling point. It's just so rude. You wouldn't go up to someone and say "Wow you've stacked on the kilos" or "Sheesh you are getting really old".
I just think it's a really discriminatory mindset. How can we expect our children to be fair, non judgemental people when the adults in their lives cannot display these qualities?
Saying that a person is crazy for having more than the 2.4 children that todays standards demand (and I have been called crazy, by the vast majority), is just unacceptable. I would have preferred a couple of Congrats when pregnant with my son. I was over the moon.
I only have 2 children myself, but when I mention that I am the oldest of 5 people look at me funny and say things like 'didn't your parents have a tv' :rolleyes:
I would have preferred a couple of Congrats when pregnant with my son. I was over the moon.
I know what you mean.
When I was pregnant with my last child, my uncle said "oh no"
as if it was an accident.
It made me really angry to be honest.
I expected my fave uncle and ppl in general to at least say congratulations.
I don't think it gets any less exciting to be pregnant and have children.
FOURtunate
12-07-2006, 20:34
Yes. But they just put the kids in front of the TV and went upstairs LOL :yelclap:
illawarramumof2boys
12-07-2006, 20:44
hi:wave:
i know a mum with seven kids who could really relate to this. she even gets asked if they're all hers all the time and cops sarcastic remarks like don't you have a tv, don't you know about contraception etc. :rolleyes:
what annoys me more than anything is that when i had one bubs, people always asked when i was having another one, now i have two i get asked about a third. i don't think you can make other people happy no matter how many kids you have as the mum with seven i know of gets asked about a number eight. ;)
MummyCharmzy
12-07-2006, 21:46
yeppp we get this, especially with them all being so close in age :S
This happens to me too angeldoula, I am sick of people (usually family) making jokes or going on about how they hope im not having any more, like its any of their concern?? I mean its not as if we have 20 or something, and even if we did, I dont ask any of them to ever look after my children anyway. I often get comments such as 'gee you must have your hands full' but I do also get positive comments about my beautiful family, how they do me proud etc, which is always nice.
Like you, my DH and I are neither low income earners or poorly educated, although we are religious (but not Catholic, so contraception isnt an issue :laughing: ) but I agree there seems to be a stigma these days when it comes to families with over 3 children, and it is not a fair one. My children are always clean and well dressed, I keep a very clean home, they are well fed and cared for, and noone takes care of them, either physically or financially, other than DH and I, so I think we are entitled to have as many as we like! I dont think people even realise how rude they are being sometimes!
gidgeroo
12-07-2006, 23:57
I have two (thinking about 3) and was disgusted with my in-laws reaction recently when my brother in law announced that his wife was pregnant with their 4th. Even my DH reacted badly. I was the only one that congratulated him - the others just looked shocked and then very unimpressed and virtually grunted something disparaging (didn't hear it because I was busy being happy for him). I expressed my feelings to my MIL (never hold back) and she just said "what are they going to do with 4 - they already dump two on us every other day". I was livid - luckily they live in the country so I could go for a long walk and calm down!!:banghead: Grrr
my babyemmy
13-07-2006, 06:38
I get that and more! My oldest 3 are teenagers and i get "are you stupid?" "Why do you want to go through all that again?".......
and i also get "You are looking fat...and old" too a lot.
I am hoping for 1 or 2 more but its up to if IVF works or not.
:hugs: :hugs: to us brilliant mummys with 4 or more kids.
I wouldnt have it any other way:wave:
InSaneOne
13-07-2006, 07:31
i get the same thing. i am 24 and when i say that i have 4 kids people look so shocked. it doesn't matter to me that 3 of them i didn't actually give birth too. i love them all the same. i wonder what everyone will say when i have another one (or 3 if i can talk dh into it.)
I have 4 kids and ppl are always comenting about this,some of the comments have been really bad,But i have decided to not let it get to me(as hard as it is) now i tell everyone that listens that i have 4 kids and love it and wouldnt have it any other way! and No,im not having more,BUT if i AM its none of their business!
and as one of the mums said,we are not uneducated/unemployed/religious or whatever we just wanted to have a big family not the average size family.
So mums of 4 or more kids,Stand up and be proud of your large families and tell everyone that you LOVE IT !!! ;) :D
FOURtunate
13-07-2006, 09:19
I have a friend with 5 girls, and she constantly cops the "did you keep going for a boy" remark. It's funny now that my baby boy Jack is 2, I'm getting "You're not having anymore are you?". What if I was? Would it be such a bad thing?
KarniF00l
13-07-2006, 09:41
Within 15minutes of me giving birth to Dakota my mum turned around and said "Right, i want you to go to the family planning clinic in a couple of days so you can get on the strong pill asap" i was in complete shock.. I was enjoying my baby and she says that ??? :rolleyes: I love my four babies and wouldn't change it for the world. Mind you, i will not have anymore :laughing:
I have noticed there is a drive to get the pigeon pair.
After I had my girl and boy I guess ppl though that I was done.
No, if I have more boys I will still be happy.
My mum and mil keep on trying to make suggestions.
Like - "I think 3 children is enough"
Ummm no not really!
We have explained we want more and so now they say- well make sure you have them closer together so they can be mates!
I think my hubby and I can organise our own family planning, thankyou!
madwoman
13-07-2006, 11:26
My MIL is the worst of everyone. When i was pregnant with no 2 and no 3 she kept going on....girl, girl, girl, girl..... she is one of those gushy people too, she speaks first and thinks... well no she doesn't think actually. When hubby called her to say that no 3 was here she said oh what a pity its not a girl then when he told her his name she said "oh my god what am i going to tell my friends". I haven't spoken to her since i fell pregnant this time, i know when i do it will be "we would like a girl this time" and i will have to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying "well it has bugger all to do with you, we will get what we get and you will get to tell people you are a grandma again, if you can't be happy with that then go to hell" She said and did some pretty thoughtless things when my first was born and I've never really forgiven her for spoiling things for me so to be honest she could be gushing with enthusiasim and she'd still be wrong:D
MW
my parents used to get it even thou there is only 3 of us...oh and the comment 'oh all girls' HOW RUDE!!
FOURtunate
13-07-2006, 12:55
I'm soooo glad to have found some others who experience the same. I was beginning to think it was just us who people had it in for.
My MIL was pretty shocking when we had the first 3. The day I came home from hospital after number 3, she called me and said "Have you thought about contraception? I think you should get your tubes tied." :eek:
Mind you, I do have pretty rough pregnancies, and that particular one ended at 27weeks. But it's up to us whether we :
1. Can go through it again
2. Will "put our other kids through it again"
3. Can afford it
4. Have enough room in our house and car
5. Have enough sanity left
And I guess my body has been through the wringer. I admit that. But it's still OUR DECISION. Family planning and size is up to a couple, not other so called well meaning others. So sick of the condascending comments. I really don't think people honestly care about the wellbeing of us or the kids if we have more. I think people just like something to whinge about.
KarniF00l
13-07-2006, 13:02
I'm soooo glad to have found some others who experience the same. I was beginning to think it was just us who people had it in for.
My MIL was pretty shocking when we had the first 3. The day I came home from hospital after number 3, she called me and said "Have you thought about contraception? I think you should get your tubes tied." :eek:
Mind you, I do have pretty rough pregnancies, and that particular one ended at 27weeks. But it's up to us whether we :
1. Can go through it again
2. Will "put our other kids through it again"
3. Can afford it
4. Have enough room in our house and car
5. Have enough sanity left
And I guess my body has been through the wringer. I admit that. But it's still OUR DECISION. Family planning and size is up to a couple, not other so called well meaning others. So sick of the condascending comments. I really don't think people honestly care about the wellbeing of us or the kids if we have more. I think people just like something to whinge about.
Here Here !!!!! You sound so much like me.. tough pregnancies and all :laughing:
FOURtunate
13-07-2006, 13:18
And don't get me started about the hospital staff..... Or the receptionists at my GP's office, the Baby Health Clinic Nurse and the teachers at our school! :devil6:
KarniF00l
13-07-2006, 13:20
And don't get me started about the hospital staff..... Or the receptionists at my GP's office, the Baby Health Clinic Nurse and the teachers at our school! :devil6:
Yes don't even mention the MCHN and DS's school teacher :banghead: :mad: :banghead:
FOURtunate
13-07-2006, 13:21
"Oh you poor girl. All those littlies. Do you have any help?" :banghead:
KarniF00l
13-07-2006, 13:28
hahah yeah..
or "omg are they all to the same father?" PFFT!! Im usually straight to the point and say No the first three are to my ex and the newborn is to my now DH.. but lately when ppl ask.. i say "Yes they are all to the same father (DH)" because in my eyes they kinda are in a way. Once again long story.
FOURtunate
13-07-2006, 13:32
Are you and I twins?
KarniF00l
13-07-2006, 13:36
Are you and I twins?
We could be.. i'll ask my mum :laughing:
oh wait are you 24 ?? if not, i don't think we are :p
FOURtunate
13-07-2006, 13:38
How funny. My MIL was just on the phone, and is upset because I told her I have a dr's appt tomorrow morning. She straight away thinks number 5 is on the way! HaHaHaHaHa
KarniF00l
13-07-2006, 13:42
:laughing: :laughing: I would have said "Yeah there might be a possible chance that i could be".. just to stir the pot :devil6:
I would love six kids, but i think four is more achievable.
We are moving to a big house in the country, so i figure i should fill it up with kids. I am hoping that four kids wont be so out of the ordinary when i get up there
The average family is 1.7 kids so its quite strange that I have 3 and that is now considered a large family. That was the average when I was growing up.
KarniF00l
13-07-2006, 14:07
Yeah you're right Kymmy.. it's weird how quickly things change.
I few weeks agoi got asked "What made you have another one after having 3?" I replied "because i don't like doing things in odd numbers" :laughing: I though no screw it.. seeing as you're so rude to even ask that you're going to get a smart remark back :o
FOURtunate
13-07-2006, 14:20
Is it 1.7 kids now? Used to be 2.4!
All of my mates (in their early thirties) are from families of 3 or more.
I feel like my kids are blessings from Heaven why would I stop?
I feel very lucky to have them.
Even though we are planning for 5 I wonder if we will stop there.:detective:
KarniF00l
13-07-2006, 14:33
I feel like my kids are blessings from Heaven why would I stop?
I feel very lucky to have them.
Even though we are planning for 5 I wonder if we will stop there.:detective:
:laughing: :yelclap:
malinda84
13-07-2006, 20:57
Within 15minutes of me giving birth to Dakota my mum turned around and said "Right, i want you to go to the family planning clinic in a couple of days so you can get on the strong pill asap" i was in complete shock.. I was enjoying my baby and she says that ??? :rolleyes: I love my four babies and wouldn't change it for the world. Mind you, i will not have anymore :laughing:
I am 22 years old and when i was pregnant with my second child, my mum told me no more kids and now we are trying for our third i don't won't to tell her when I get pregnant. Why should she tell me when i have to stop having kids. I feel really bad going against my mum but it is my life and i love my kids. I would also love to adopt 4 of my foster kids that are with us at the moment, but we will see what the court says :fingerscrossed: . We want at least 6 of our own. We are very stable and our kids have everything , i mean everything, name a toy they have it lol. I think we should all start saying "you only have 1-2 kids". I also don't get people that have a huge house and only 1 kid, what do they do walk around saying "i'm glad we have all these rooms i have to clean and furnish for nothing". We have 4 beds and 2 living areas. That is enough for me and thats with 2 adults and 7 kids living here. Sorry going abit of track.
___________________
Mum- 22
Dad-21
Andrew-2
Kaitlyn- 9months
Nephew-2
Foster 1-9
Foster 2-6
Foster 3-4
Foster 4-2
KarniF00l
13-07-2006, 21:12
I am 22 years old and when i was pregnant with my second child, my mum told me no more kids and now we are trying for our third i don't won't to tell her when I get pregnant. Why should she tell me when i have to stop having kids. I feel really bad going against my mum but it is my life and i love my kids. I would also love to adopt 4 of my foster kids that are with us at the moment, but we will see what the court says :fingerscrossed: . We want at least 6 of our own. We are very stable and our kids have everything , i mean everything, name a toy they have it lol. I think we should all start saying "you only have 1-2 kids". I also don't get people that have a huge house and only 1 kid, what do they do walk around saying "i'm glad we have all these rooms i have to clean and furnish for nothing". We have 4 beds and 2 living areas. That is enough for me and thats with 2 adults and 7 kids living here. Sorry going abit of track.
Malinda i take my hat off to you. You must be one strong lady. May i ask about the four foster children or is that over stepping the mark ? :devil6:
FOURtunate
14-07-2006, 08:28
Yes I am also curios about the foster children. I'd love to do it, but thought that they'd say I have too many kids!
I am also intersted in fostering.:yes:
YES!!!!
I get it all the time.TBH i have suddenly worked out that alot of people that say it are jealous,because they have their own insecurities about not being able to handle one let alone any more than that.
I had a tiff with a friend the other week and she had the nerve to turn around and say "oh i know it must be hard because you are all hormonal having just had a baby and it must be so hard to have any life with all the kids you have,no wonder you are stressed and catty,I am glad I only have one"
Ummm hello....I am catty because you are being so narrow minded and petty in relation to my hormonal state and relating it to the number of children I have.
Tell them it was all in practice for your career. :D
I hope to have 4 kids. I think anyone that can do that 4 times deserves a medal!
KarniF00l
14-07-2006, 12:10
as silly as this may sound.. i actually find it alot easier with 4 kids rather than 2 :smiliedance:
To be honest I thought having one child was a lot of work compared to having 2 or 3. Maybe cos it was all new and now I have a little experience, and my priorities are different.
I am getting so sick of the surprised reactions I get when I tell people I have four children. It's almost like you're about to confess to a crime when you say "I have four".
Sometimes the comments border on rudeness. The other day, I ran into an old acquaintance while out with my adorable 2 year old (the newest member of our clan). She said "Oh another one?" and then proceeded to yell out to a friend "This woman is insane. She has four!"
I don't think I'm a criminal. Or insane. So why does society put a limit of three children on every family?
VENT VENT VENT. Does anybody else experience these things? I think that I am a minority in my area, and that I guess people see large families as low income earners/uneducated/deeply religious. Who knows??? We are none of these things, but feel that we have to explain that all of our children were, and are WANTED. And we didn't keep going for the boy.
:yelclap: Very proudly gave birth to baby No 9 three weeks ago & soooo understand where you are coming from BUT I dont care what people say & what people think, My Husband & I love & wanted every one of them & relize how incredibly lucky we are:thumbsup: ..The never ending remarks make me wonder if they are just utterly jealous that they dont have the incredible kids that I have :laughing: !!!!!!......Proud to be a Mum of a large family !!!
KarniF00l
14-07-2006, 18:42
:yelclap: Very proudly gave birth to baby No 9 three weeks ago & soooo understand where you are coming from BUT I dont care what people say & what people think, My Husband & I love & wanted every one of them & relize how incredibly lucky we are:thumbsup: ..The never ending remarks make me wonder if they are just utterly jealous that they dont have the incredible kids that I have :laughing: !!!!!!......Proud to be a Mum of a large family !!!
Go you !! well done :yelclap: May i ask what kinda car/van/mini bus you drive ?
We drive a Mitsubihi 4 wheel drive delica, space gear..We live in the country & is very handy....It is an eight seater & if we ever go any where as a family we take two vechiles, which I must add is starting to cost as we live half an hour from town & with the cost of fuel OMG:eek: !!!...But it is a great vechile for us, this is our third, trade it up every couple of years ....
KarniF00l
14-07-2006, 18:48
We drive a Mitsubihi 4 wheel drive delica, space gear..We live in the country & is very handy....It is an eight seater & if we ever go any where as a family we take two vechiles, which I must add is starting to cost as we live half an hour from town & with the cost of fuel OMG:eek: !!!...But it is a great vechile for us, this is our third, trade it up every couple of years ....
:laughing: are you planning on having more ?? or is it too soon to ask that ?
Hey just noticed one of your children is named Dakota...My little girl that I just had is named Dakota Leigh...!!!!..My Husband is horrified but my other children named her & I think it is gorgeous....AND I would have another next week if I could, call me insane BUT I love everything about being pregnant to being a Mum !!!! My Dr called me in last week for a chat because I did tell him in the delivery suite that I could go again !!!! BUT I lost alot of blood & needed several lots of medication to stop me bleeding so he wanted to warn me NOW that the risk is to high for another child ...I must be honest it hit me hard & I cannot belive Dakota is my last but I do not like to whinge as I know people out there are struggling for baby No 1....So I count my blessings & my Hubby tells me with seven daughters Grand children should be likley one day !!!!!....
KarniF00l
14-07-2006, 19:02
Hey just noticed one of your children is named Dakota...My little girl that I just had is named Dakota Leigh...!!!!..My Husband is horrified but my other children named her & I think it is gorgeous....AND I would have another next week if I could, call me insane BUT I love everything about being pregnant to being a Mum !!!! My Dr called me in last week for a chat because I did tell him in the delivery suite that I could go again !!!! BUT I lost alot of blood & needed several lots of medication to stop me bleeding so he wanted to warn me NOW that the risk is to high for another child ...I must be honest it hit me hard & I cannot belive Dakota is my last but I do not like to whinge as I know people out there are struggling for baby No 1....So I count my blessings & my Hubby tells me with seven daughters Grand children should be likley one day !!!!!....
awww another Dakota :smiliedance: my little one is Dakota Lee. Sorry to hear you can't have anymore :crying: but as the doc said it's probably for the best.. You're health is most important :thumbsup:
Just had a look at your site & the lovely picture of your Dakota Lee & she is gorgeous....BUT I suppose you dont have to be told..You would already know !!!! As for my health , well yes I do have a family to raise & my Mother has made it quiet clear that it is my job to do so :laughing: !!!...
KarniF00l
14-07-2006, 19:12
Just had a look at your site & the lovely picture of your Dakota Lee & she is gorgeous....BUT I suppose you dont have to be told..You would already know !!!! As for my health , well yes I do have a family to raise & my Mother has made it quiet clear that it is my job to do so :laughing: !!!...
Yeah she is cute but as a parent im extremely bias ;) Look at it this way.. Just embrace the fact that you have healthy kids hon :D
Well speaking of healthy children, I better go & feed them as they keep harassing me to be feed !!!!!..Take care....:wave:
Foxymoron
14-07-2006, 19:26
I've had loads of negative stuff, from friends etc but probably more positive comments from strangers. I love my big family, and I love the way we look like a hurricane coming when we got out :laughing: Stuff what people think!
It's nice to see Mamas here with big tribes!
Harlequin
14-07-2006, 20:14
Thats weird, im from a family with four kids and have never seen that type of reaction before.
Hell, I know someone expecting their tenth!!! Now that's crazy :D
Hell, I know someone expecting their tenth!!! Now that's crazy :D
Aaaah that is amazing, if you ask me!
My neighbour has 16 kids and I think that is quite nice!:D
I know a few ppl with several children so to think I have a large family by the modern standard is quite funny!:laughing:
Joanne555
14-07-2006, 21:28
I think it's really beautiful to have 4 children, it is only me and my brother in our family and I look at my friend who has 4 and their family is so big and full of fun. Not saying that my family is small and no fun but I love the idea of having a large family. DH and I want to have 4 eventully thats why we are TTC #1 now (me 22 DH 25). :)
I sometimes think It's a sign of jealously when people make comments like that..... tell them to stuff off....:mad:
jo:D
Sheer Bliss
14-07-2006, 21:50
I only have 1 at the moment but i would like 3 and when I tell people that I get strange looks, so I can imagine the comments are worse with more children!
A friend actually said to me that you never know I might have a boy next time and decide that I have one of each & that's enough!:shame: I nearly fell off my seat - it's not about having a 'pair' - I was one of 4 and I love the 'big family' feel. I want to be able to give that experience to my children. My friend has just had her 4th this week - and with the oldest having just turned six - I do think she will have her hands full - but in a good way, and it's her choice, so I think well done! Her kiddies are going to grow up as friends & I think it's great.:smiliedance:
FOURtunate
15-07-2006, 19:46
So glad I'm not the only one! :D
mum2bubba
15-07-2006, 20:11
Well we only have 1 child but we're ttc for our second (and probably last) a few people have said things like "oh you don't need 2" or "I think you should start looking for a job" I think people should have as much (or as little) children as they can manage finicially and emotionally, my dad has 4 children (I have 1 full sister and 2 half sisters) and he has full custody of my sisters. Each to their own :)
LosAngelesMom
20-07-2006, 18:50
Wow, it's great reading other's stories about reactions to their 4. I thought it was an American thing to freak out over families bigger than 2 kids. :laughing:
We get so much flack w/ours (boy 3.5, girl 2.5, girl 1.5, girl 3 mos.), routinely steel ourselves every time leave the house.
One issue I had w/stopping at 3, was that the 3rd was constantly ganged-up on by the older 2. Always a 2-against-1 dynamic. Rarely would they allow her to play w/them. It was a never ending headache for us parents.
At least now there are even 'teams'.
Imgoingnuts
20-07-2006, 19:28
He he he he. Few points here have me giggling. We have even teams too with two boys and two girls. Love the comments about pigeon pairs as we had girl(6), boy(4), girl(3), boy(18mths). To those with more than four I take my hat off to you.
The family dynamic was one of the reasons we had four. Our kids only have two cousins on one side and one on the other. I had (have) 12 cousins myself so have fond memories of large gatherings. I figure my kids are not going to have that so at least they can keep each other entertained at family gatherings.:kiss: ;)
mykidzrokk
23-07-2006, 19:54
When i was pregnant with #3, when DH told his sister, her hubby started laughing hysterically because we'd "had an accident"......such a p****!!!! One of our friends actually hinted that accidents do happen, but dont be upset cos they are all gifts from God.....at least she said it in a nice way and when i told her it wasnt an accident, she was really happy for us.......we decided to stop at 3, but now i am thinking i want #4..i hate odd numbers, the oldest and youngest gang up on the middle one and as i'm about to turn 35, i want to do it now....hope i havent left it too late....of course, i do have to ask DH as well...;)
I have 6, 5 boys and 1 girl. THe girl being our last. My mum said to me that I can stop now I have my girl and I get alot of that, are you having any more now you have your girl. I would love to have twin girls (already have twin boys), but nah, no more for us, I couldnt handle another pregnancy.
~rambox~
24-07-2006, 08:45
And people say large families are becoming rare, looking at this i think there is quite a few of us left that are still mad enough to have four or more. My youngest is 4mths and we are considering going back on more time and trying again for a girl.
What do you guys think???
Relvy - would you be disappointed if you got another boy?
I don't think I would want to try for a girl and then get a boy if you know what I mean.
And people say large families are becoming rare, looking at this i think there is quite a few of us left that are still mad enough to have four or more. My youngest is 4mths and we are considering going back on more time and trying again for a girl.
What do you guys think???
I would say go for it!! but as long as you aren't going to be disappointed if it is another boy (or twin boys! ;) )
our girl was totally unplanned, a complete suprise. DH was depressed my whole pregnancy with her, he aid he didnt think he could love another boy, and he didnt even help choose a boys name. The look on his face when we found out it was a girl... priceless I tell ya! I had an incling she was a girl as I was sick more, and I couldnt stand the smell of meat, or to eat it, and all I wanted to eat were cakes, and even chocolate made me feel ill, yet I prepared myself for another boy.
we never tried for a girl for any of them, although I hoped one was a girl, it never mattered, until my 5th pregnancy that was. With the twins, when we found out they were both boys, poor DH, he was silent the whole way home from the u/s. Me, I just knew they would both be boys also. But twins, was something different.
I looked at the chinese boy/girl chart, and it was RIGHT for all my kids, though remember it goes by your lunar age, which is about 1-2 years older than you are dunno how it works with twins though..:rolleyes:
~rambox~
24-07-2006, 14:07
I woulldn't be disapointed with another boy but i think iwould be if it was twin boys.:banghead:
evasupercool
27-07-2006, 22:15
:thumbsup: Hello and well done to all you girls with large families...I just love it!!! I am pregnant with no. 5....wow did that get some reactions!!!! Aside from the fact that we actually tried for many months to conceive we still got "that question- was it an accident?" I mean how rude......would I ask them if they had an accident with their hair after a new haircut? NO!! I just don't get that people can think it's ok to ask or comment so rudely on such matters that happen to be our choice!!! We too, look after our children ourselves and do not depend on anybody to help us...after all ..it is our choice to have them! Infact, I believe our children are far better off, by having other siblings around they learn to share and be considerate towards eachother. I think its easier having more children as they tend to play and entertain eachother. Sadly, many people will not experience the fullness of having a larger family and I feel sorry for them...I wouldn't trade it for the world and am so glad that we have 4 - soon to be 5 wonderful, loving children!!! I dont even think 5 is that many but I guess for people who struggle with one - it seems a nightmare!!!So for anyone considering whether to have a large family or not...I say do it...there are so many rewards, so many more cuddles and so many more kisses...how could that be a nightmare???:hugs:
bearsmummy
31-07-2006, 14:11
I have 3 boys but and would love another. People always give me hassel saying "oh thats coz you want your girl?" Yes i would love a girl but thats not the only reason i want 4 kids... I have always said 4 is my magic number.:D
We tried for a girl with my youngest (obviously it didnt work :laughing: )
but at the end of the day im very blessed just to be able to have babies regardless of what sex they are.
I would love to start trying for #4 by the end of the year, just have to convince my DF that its the right time, he wants to wait longer i think. The whole bigger car bigger house thing....:fingerscrossed:
Glad to see there are lots of big families still out there... everyone was starting to make me feel crazy for wanting 4!:wave:
hi:wave:
what annoys me more than anything is that when i had one bubs, people always asked when i was having another one, now i have two i get asked about a third. i don't think you can make other people happy no matter how many kids you have as the mum with seven i know of gets asked about a number eight. ;)
Spot on, IM2B - everyone is interested in the next one ! I named my kids alphabetically (so I could remember them:D ) so people's standard response is "Are you going to get to Z?"
I wouldn't ask people without kids why not but I've received a no. of population lectures. My kids will grow up nice, responsible, hard-working tax-payers (they'd better!) so I reckon we're doing the country a favour !
SimplyMum
01-08-2006, 11:38
I think you should have as many as you want. I would absolutely LOVE a big family and by big I mean like 5 kids!!:eek: But circumstances have granted me with just one, and by god e's a good one!:laughing:
Really?
Is 5 kids considered a big family?
I want 5 but I don't think thats a lot!!!!
I think 10 is big!!!
But now I have 3 and that is considered large and unusual these days.
AquaDevil78
01-08-2006, 12:38
Seems you cant win when you are a mum, or expecting a first LOL, This many kids is too many, this many is not enough, im sure people will critisise me for only wanting and having 1 child... sigh. My life, my body, my choice.. dont like it then go lump it :yes:
spiritedfamily
02-08-2006, 21:35
I know what you mean!
I've had some beauties...(comments) I often get branded at having a zillion kids...very silly
It is frustrating, I am generally a very private person and go about my business, I try not to critisise people for their choice to have small families but naturally look for companionship in larger families but I don't believe I rub my choice in people's faces so why do they feel they need to rub it in mine? The simple answer can be who cares what people think...but we do...we need support (and thats in such simple ways, as respect and kindness)....and we need people to respect our choices....
I haven't told anyone beyond close family and friends about our fifth...and don't plan to, they'll just have to notice, I usually don't tell associates when I'm due or what sex the baby is? Its best a mystery and it seems to help the pregnancy speed along when people aren't asking all sorts of odd questions.
moonblossom
02-08-2006, 21:48
So know how you feel, when someone asks how many I have, I always say NO I'M NOT CATHOLIC, and YES I DO HAVE A TV before they ask.
I take it with a pinch of salt now and smile knowing it takes very special mothers to take care of a tribe of children. All I can say is I LOVE IT, and feel blessed every single day.
And YES they were all planned (sortof lol) cept the last one which was a miracle and a true blessing.
CHEERS AND :kiss: 's to all us tribe raisers :smiliedance:
. My life, my body, my choice.. dont like it then go lump it :yes:
That's right...a choice to be made by the parents, no one else.
Hi everyone,
I'm new here and don't really know where to start as my biggest issue doesn't directly relate to having 4 or more, but if you'll listen then I'll happily tell my story and if anyone has any advice I'd be more than happy to listen.
My name is Ian. I am 39 and the proud father of 4 beautiful kids (Jasmine 20, Jennifer 16, Dale 15 and Lachlan 12). The kids lost their mother 8 years ago to suicide and we've been living life as a family ever since. When I say the kids lost their mother I don't mean to imply that I didn't lose a wife, we had seperated 4 months prior to her death after her third affair and had decided (at great sorrow) that I could no longer 'just do it for the kids'.
I have copped a lot of remarks in regards to having 4 kids but the way my nature is I just let it slide like water off a ducks back. My problem at the moment is that I met a lady 7 months ago (the first one I have been with that I can honestly say I love with all my heart), anyway this lady has 3 kids of her own, all wonderful and all of which I love dearly. About 3 weeks ago I proposed to this lady and she accepted quite happily, even though I wanted to get her a ring and put it on her finger, a week later she had found one she liked and bought it and had been wearing it for a week before I got an sms message saying: "I'm sorry Ian but I cannot be with you anymore". I was floored, gutted and am beside myself in regards to what was going on. i want so much to refer to the lady I love as my fiancee or at least my g/f instead of saying the lady I love, so for ease I will just refer to her as K. K has never been one to sit and talk face to face as a problem or an issue arises so I have always waited until she was ready to talk (even though this latest problem has been by sms). All I can get from her is (and these are her words) that she has issues and down't fully understand them. I have told on on many occasions that I am more than willing to give her space and time, as much as she needs but she insists that it's over and this is the way it has to be.
About the only thing she has opened up about is that she doesn't see a place for her and her kids in my family, she feels there is no place for them in 'the dynamics' of my family. She says that my kids are great but she feels that the eldest and the youngest (Jasmine and Lachlan) aren't fussed on her, I tried to explain that as she has only spent Saturday nights at my place for the last 7 months that effectively 28 days a week apart is not enough time for her to get to know all four of my kids properly, nor enough time for them to get to know her. My kids long to have a mother or at least a mother figure, this they have told me and yet when I tell K she doesn't doesn't believe me or doesn't seem to want to. My youngest doesn't even remember his own mother and cry every time I think of that, it hurts even more to think that he'll never experience that love or the love of someone who can love him that much, and now to try and explain to all of them that someone else is leaving their life and I can't explain why. Then lies the next problem (which is not so much a problem) except that I can no longer do that to my kids, bring someone else into their life with the risk that they too will walk away. I will keep waitning for K in the hope that she takes time to think and see beyong the gloom that is clouding things at the moment, and by wait I mean a lifetime if needs be.
I'm sorry to have posted all of this in here but I have no family up here in Qld and I don't relly have any friends that now where I'm at right now, they all say what you don't want to hear anyway: "Give it time mate, everything will work out".
Thanks anyway for taking the time to read this and if anyone has some advice I'd be very appreciative.
Ragards,
Ian
indigoin0z
02-09-2006, 16:13
how times change!
when our parents were young - or would it be their parents?-
3 or 4 was just getting started or 1/2 way?...
now anything beyond 1 or 2 is seen as absurd... WT?
tho i do have a small issue [pleez dont shoot me]
with some people who do 'choose' to have 3 or 4/more but actually pass them on to others to look after "consistently"...
my sister-IL has 4,
& her mother has always been the babysitter (almost 1/2 care provider for them all - especially 3 & 4)...
with this last child #4, planned (took a year TTC)
SIL has been working since 1st month of birth (just turning 3yr old now!) & her mother has been looking after that baby for minimum 5 days a week, since... the grandmother has raised the child!
&
the money isnt the issue as they are extremely well off, but one of those families who like to keep up with the Jones' and cant go without 4 cars & a boat etc & a playstation/tv/dvd in each kids room etc....
my point is,
they arent even raising them!! :shame: ...
it is frustrating that they seem to want the credit for having 4 children but their family just palms them over to other people...
her brother does it also, (not my hubby, but his brother)... he gets visitation rights to see his 2 kids, & he takes them straight over 2 nannas & sits his *ss on the lounge watches a movie -or 3- & she runs around after them alllll day!:banghead:
aaaaaanyway, rant over:o
oh & when our relo's ask smugly, how many more we are going to have, i told my husband to tell them "not sure yet, it depends how big a farm we get for our cult" :eek:
indigoin0z
02-09-2006, 16:25
Hi everyone,
I'm new here and don't really know where to start......
Thanks anyway for taking the time to read this and if anyone has some advice I'd be very appreciative.
Ragards, Ian
hi ian,
so sad to hear your story... it sounds like you are doing a great job with your kids & with k. by telling her how supportive you are etc...
im not much use to you unfortunately...
but im sure others around here may be, so im wondering if the mods can move this message for you,
or maybe you could start a thread (just copy & paste) with your post as you really deserve it to be seen as its your own story...
you will get alot more responses & appropriate help that way...
so glad you have attempted to reach out for others help,
it even helps just to write as it allows you to vent....
peace 2u:fingerscrossed:
cenasangel
03-09-2006, 18:57
Ive been told i need to keep my legs shut or find a hobby....... the best one was when my 14 year old was sitting in the food court of a mall with miss 3months old in a pram at the time. Some old bird came up and outrightly abused her because she assumed she was the mother then abused me for letting her run wild and get pregnant.
Buddha Bubbas
05-09-2006, 12:46
, i personally believe if you havethe perfect one of each family you are a bit dull, boring and predictable but thats just my opinion:D
MW
um :( i have one of each and i hope my family is not dull, boring or predictable.
i think that some people make make comments about having more than 2 kids because anyone with kids knows how hard it is with 1 or 2 let alone 3, 4 or 5. i think families with lots of kids is great and would have loved to have more siblings and would love my 2 children to have more siblings.... not going to happen though.:no:
Hi there,
I read an article in some magazine that was about the rise of the single child family. It was really interesting. It stated that since a lot of women are fully estabishing careers now that when they start having kids they have trouble conceiving and when it comes to bub 2 for biological clock reasons it often doesnt happen. It also said something about the added cost of living increase stopped people from having more than 1 or 2 and that people with 3 or 4 kids (the norm in the old days) are looked at strangely now as it is less common to have more. I personally plan on having 3 or 4 at least but we'll see how we go:smiliedance:
LosAngelesMom
07-09-2006, 19:27
I find that a lot here, in the USA.
The "helicopter parents" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent) w/their 1 precious child & empowering careers.
I'm always given totally freaked-out looks by these people, when they see my 4 little children trailing behind me.
Hi there,
I read an article in some magazine that was about the rise of the single child family. It was really interesting. It stated that since a lot of women are fully estabishing careers now that when they start having kids they have trouble conceiving and when it comes to bub 2 for biological clock reasons it often doesnt happen. It also said something about the added cost of living increase stopped people from having more than 1 or 2 and that people with 3 or 4 kids (the norm in the old days) are looked at strangely now as it is less common to have more. I personally plan on having 3 or 4 at least but we'll see how we go:smiliedance:
hi guys im a newbie here, but reading your posts made me feel good that there are people out their like me!!!!:smiliedance:
i have four children , how blessed 3 girls and a boy who is the baby (2yrs) of the clan and forever got are you chasing the boy? i used to get so upset as much to peoples surprise ive always wanted to have four girls and yes hubbie too. Im forever getting called crazy, nuts insane , my dad told my hubbie to book me an appointment to see a psychiatrist my mother has said that if i have another shell dis own me...lol
Now am at the point of seriously thinking of trying for ONE more this month and no...its not because i want another boy i just want a healthy baby to add to our beautiful family.Imagine what ill get when i tell people im pregnant! but now i dont really care . we are so blessed to have them,after loosing 4 babies i just think what a miracle it is to have one let alone 4!!
hope you all have a great day!!!
and looking forward to making new friends
cheers ada
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