8 month old.. little miss TANTI!!

[WizzFizz]

I have a 8 1/2 month old DD. Latley, she has been throwing big tantrums when I take something off her, try and change her nappy (she starts crying and kicks me in the belly and I'm 22 weeks preg) or when I am feeding her, she starts to hit me and the spoon and the food goes flying everywhere! ARGH!!

She is also very vocal.. doing very high pitched screams and then sooking. We bought her a walker, and when its time to come out of it.. she runs away!!

Am I doing something wrong (I'm a very loving mummy, but latley all I seem to be saying is "No No NO!!") or is this just a stage she is going through, and testing her boundaries (and my patience!!!)????

[lukaelmo]

Hmmm... the dude has little tiny tantrums, which I find quite hilarious. At one year old, it's just too bad, I am the boss.

Luka gets angry if I take something away from him, so I usually try to distract him with something else first. If we are somewhere, like when he is in the shower and doesn't want to get out, I do the same thing. I put something he really likes on his towel, and then give it to him when we get out.

With the changing I try to make him giggle, but if he really gets upset I just ignore it When he is in the high chair and starts throwing things, I completely ignore it, no reaction whatsoever.

I have noticed that when I ignore him, he stops his behaviour and just gets on with things.

So my advice is, ignore the bad behaviour, reward the good with attention and praise. And above all, distraction works best for me.

[2 Cherubs]

James has started throwing tanti's also and it is so fustrating!
He has the worst temper if he cant get what he wants.
Im trying to work out the best way to deal with them also...Its hard.
Will keep and eye on this thread for ideas...
Good Luck Young Mummy20 and know what you are going thru :)

[veve]

Im with lukaelmo- I"m a big fan of re-direction.. take the focus away from the tanty

- if taking something away .. replace it with something (e.g. another toy)

- (I have an 8month old too.. so I understand the changing issues) I keep two toys JUST for change times.. he doesn't get them at any other time... he get sOOO excited when he sees them (I will have to get new ones soon though)

- JAck hit the spoon the other day- food went everywhere .. I walked away (with the food) and came back in about 2 minutes... he was ok then (I also try to give him a lid or something to fiddle with while eating .. he hates just sitting there.. it is too passive)

- I"ve been using no lots too lately (Jack is crawling really fast.. and is climbing things now .. furniture walking and pulling EVERYTHING down) - I'm trying to follow the word NO with something else (e.g. NO .. that is not for babies (Mummy lukaelmo's line :D) here is a toy to play with instead ..)

I think it is a stage.. .they become independent SO quickly!!! and hate you setting boundries... :(

I guess the trick is to find the balance - to have lots of fun .. and to remember that good mummies who love their kids.. set boundries.. as much as kids hate them :hugs:

good luck .. I hope that all makes sense!!

[WizzFizz]

Thanks for your advice - but to me it seems that if I replace something I have taken off her with a toy after she has chucked a tantrum, this is telling her that her bad behaviour is being rewarded?? Wont she learn that tantrums = toys?

[ozzysmum]

i was reading just yesterday that redirection is the best way to deal with tantrums in babies under 22 months and it sometimes works with ozzy. his main tanti-times are when the yogurt is "all gone" at lunch time and any time when i (and only i) try to change his nappy. if you are worried about the tanti=toy thing maybe try doing something else? i quite often will pick ozzy up and we go into the garden and look at the trees, or to the driveway and watch the cars go past for a minute... it's the redirection of thought rather than the presenting them with something to play with that is the important thing. i find these things also work for the 'i've fallen over given myself a fright' hysterics!
good luck!

[lukaelmo]

Thanks for your advice - but to me it seems that if I replace something I have taken off her with a toy after she has chucked a tantrum, this is telling her that her bad behaviour is being rewarded?? Wont she learn that tantrums = toys?

I think the trick is to replace the thing you don't want her to have with something else BEFORE the tantrum.

For example Luka loves the phone, but is not allowed to have it. If he gets a hold of it, I go over to him and offer him my mobile phone, which he is allowed to play with. He likes the mobile better than the regular phone, so he drops the phone when I give him the mobile.

I can then take back the phone, and no tanti.