View Full Version : Won't even feed to sleep....
My son's recently turned one.
He sleeps in our bed, and eats solids and is breastfed on demand, day and night. He doesn't have any formula or cow's milk in cups.
I feed him to sleep at about 9pm (he's always gone to sleep at this time, worst luck).
Then he wakes up a couple of hours later (often when I come to bed). Normally he just goes straight back to sleep, but the last two nights he just won't settle. He has a little drink, then pulls off and repeats that for ages.
I was so tired at 11pm after 30 minutes of trying to feed him, that I just gave him a cuddle and patted him instead.
After a couple minutes of that, he became hysterical. So hysterical he wouldn't even feed. My partner had to carry him around the house in the Ergo listening to music for an hour.
I just can't do this every night. It would be okay if I didn't work and could sleep in, but I work 4 days a week and have to get up early.
Could it be low supply? I know my supply has decreased a bit lately as he's not drinking quite as much.
Or teething. Maybe his molars. But he seems otherwise happy.
Maybe it's just a stage. he went through a stage recently (for about a week) where he wouldn't go to bed until 11pm, but that seemed to stop when our visitors left.
Is it time for night weaning? I don't know if I can though after last night's episode. I don't think my partner is keen on the night weaning though, and I probably need his help.
Sorry, for the ramble.
Any comments would be appreciated.:)
Doesn't sound like fun for anyone :no:
Sounds like it could very well be teething, and hopefully it passes soon. Can you see anything going on in his gums, redness swelling etc? Have you tried giving him any pain relief?
Re night weaning, I can't even remember when I did that with DD, but it was only when she was ready for it ie I just tried patting her instead of feeding her and she drifted off. Hopefully others can be of more help on that one.
I hope tonight is better, you must be so tired :hugs:
I can't feel anything in his gums. I didn't give him the pain relief as he didn't appear to be in pain. Had I had some baby sedative in the cupboard, that would have been different...:D:devil6:
I'm sure it's just another stage like the 11pm sleeping thing. I'll just keep feeding him. I've got a tin of soy formula in the cupboard. I was so tempted to give him some of that in the hope it would stuff him full and he'd go to sleep. But I know that would be the beginning of the end, so I need to just wait it out.
Oh, and on Thursday, his ear swelled up to about 1/3 of its size again. It was so bizarre. We waited at the doctors for an hour on Thursday night but she said it was just a reaction to a mosquito bite.
I swear, first and last baby. :rolleyes::D
Mrs Nietzsche
10-10-2009, 12:22
This is when I night weaned and it was the best thing I ever did. Exactly 12 mths too.
It won't be anything to do with supply or anything like that - it's just an ingrained sleep association... at a certain point the suckling actually can *stop* the baby sleeping if this makes sense. They need it, but can't relax into sleep with it because htey are concentrating on doing it. At this age they don't really care about how much milk is coming out -nothing could come out and it wouldn't change anything.
:laughing:
How about expressing him a bottle for tonight? Then you'll know if it is a lack of milk that's upsetting him.
Have you tried the Hyland homeopathic teething tablets? Compared to nurofen, I'm a whole lot less worried about giving them to DD. They seem to do the trick for us most of the time. When it's bad though we fall back on nurofen.
Maire - do you have that link for the night weaning. I remember you posting it.
Is it consistent with gentle parenting, AP, long term feeding etc? I assume it is because you sem that way inclined.
I just need to do something. I'm starting a new job in 3 weeks, so I have to sort out my sleep as I'll be getting up early and working longer hours.
BBBB - I've got the teething tablets, plus some Brauers stuff. He's really happy outside of the midnight feeding/sleeping shambles. It was awful last night. He was upset, my partner was upset, I was exhausted.
:( Lucky he's cute hey?!
Good luck with the night weaning if you decide to go down that track.
He is ridiculously cute, yes. And I'm sure he'll be charming as I dare say he will be an only child.:D
Mrs Nietzsche
10-10-2009, 13:09
Hi MsMummy - yes I will post it here:
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp
It worked really well for us. I still cosleep - sometimes DS sleeps through and sometime he stirs, shrieks and goes back to sleep, or needs a cuddle. A *billion* times better than he was though. I still feed him to sleep for his day naps (if we are at home etc).
When I think of all the nights I spent in aggravation and torture feeding him every 40 mins, or continuously... this is just so much better, and clearly did not bother him at all after the initial anger. It took a bit of grit for the first few nights, I felt so mean - btu I can't believe mothers are supposed to sacrifice health and sanity for a sleep association.
This guy says in the link, and I believe him - that a baby who has been cuddled every night and parented gently is resilient enough to take being told 'no boob' after 12 months or so.
eta - after I night weaned (so it didn't affect my decision anyway) I saw a discussion on night weaning on a natural parenting forum - one woman said she had read a book... what was it called.. 'the attached child' or something, I can't remember sorry, anyway - anyway the author thought that plugging up the baby with a boob was silencing its feelings and so on, which was an interesting take on things.
aphrodeity
10-10-2009, 13:42
Sorry you're going through this MsMummy :(
I don't have an LO your age so I can't comment on night-weaning etc, but something you wrote grabbed my attention. Could he have an ear infection of some sort? Perhaps his ear is bothering him so he is suckling for relief but pulling off before too long because he's not actually hungry for milk, and then he is getting upset when you pat him because his ear is aching again.
Just a thought. Hope you find an answer & you both get some more sleep soon :)
Aphrodeity - a tooth has just broken through. His 8th front one. I didn't see it before.:o
In any event, my partner and I couldn't agree on the night weaning so we decided to wait until he was a bit older.
In saying that, he slept really well last night. I fed him to sleep at 9pm and he didn't wake up for another feed until 2am and then one just before we got up. That I can cope with.
I feel like a rubbish parent for complaining. It just gets a bit much with work sometimes, and then I read about these babies who sleep through and I get a bit envious.:o And then the mutterings about still having him in the bed at 1. Good times.:D
Just replying about the teething.
Once they get their first 5 or 6, I didn't notice them anymore until they came through :o I guess because it is harder to see them.
DD had 14 teeth by the time she was 1 :eek:
She has has just cut another molar and I think she's only got 3 teeth to go :eek: and she is only 16 months
Mrs Nietzsche
11-10-2009, 22:15
ahh - yes this has happened to me a few times, I have felt so frustrated with the waking and hten discover its a tooth and feel a real meanie. I hope things settle at a more manageable level of night waking.
ahh - yes this has happened to me a few times, I have felt so frustrated with the waking and hten discover its a tooth and feel a real meanie. Me too :o
And MsMummy as you know my once angelic sleeper is now a sleep terrorist, hope that makes you feel better. Oh and she has gone from sleeping in her cot most nights to sleeping in our bed virtually every night from midnight-ish onward at 16 months :eek::D
Me too :o
And MsMummy as you know my once angelic sleeper is now a sleep terrorist, hope that makes you feel better. Oh and she has gone from sleeping in her cot most nights to sleeping in our bed virtually every night from midnight-ish onward at 16 months :eek::D
:D And, for all my jokes, it's probably even worse for you as you had a good sleeper who went bad, but things can only look up for me.:fingerscrossed:
We've still got his cot in our room but I'm thinking of throwing it out the window as he has a severe aversion to it anyway.:D
Maire - thanks for the link anyway. It was a good read. When's this baby of yours coming? They dragged mine out (under duress) after 10 days. Good to see you're staying strong.
Mrs Nietzsche
11-10-2009, 22:29
It's anybody's guess. Sigh.
It's anybody's guess. Sigh.
Are you enjoying your last days of sanity though? I imagine having 2 under 18 months (is that right?) will be interesting.:D
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