leajones22
09-10-2009, 13:53
After feeling that you can't talk to friends about this I feel that I can share my story as well.
In July of 99 just after my then BF and I had moved in together with friends I was sick and missed taking 4 pills. As soon as we realised we stopped DTD and waited out the rest of the month.
It didn't take long for the symptoms to start and a trip to the doctor confirmed what I already knew deep down. Even though I was positive that I was PG seeing the 2 lines on the test had me in shock. I left the clinic and was in tears, all because I knew how my BF would feel.
I spent the rest of the day trying to ring him at work and got no response. When he finally called me back and I told him he became distant. Over the next couple of days I felt alone and didn't feel like I could talk to anyone.
My bf told his sisters and they would in turn call me on the phone and tell me that I should have a termination. I felt bullied. I never really believed in termination except in certain circumstances but I knew deep down that at this point in my life there was no way I could bring a child into it.
So after a rew days my bf and I went back to the gp to get a referral to a private clinic. The gp said that he didn't believe in what I wanted to do and that he couldn't give me a referral and sent me out into the waiting room to see another gp, who then gave me a referral.
I made my appointment and went to the clinic by myself for the first appointment. I had to have a session with a psychologist who wanted to know why I wanted to do this and if I had thought it out properly, I then had a session with the Doc who showed me all the tools that they use during the procedure and explained how they all worked. I then had an ultrasound in which the doc kept the screen turned away from me and we arranged for a time to do the procedure a few weeks from then. During the U/s I wanted to see what my baby looked like.....I had a yearning to know.
Over the next couple of weeks i felt even more alone as everyone kept telling me that I was doing the right thing. I just kept praying that I would miscarry instead of having to go through with the termination. I thought about running away and having the baby and knowing that it was entirely selfish of me.
The day of the D&C came and my bf took me to the clinic and sat with me in the waiting room holding my hand, it was the first time since I found out that I didn't really feel so alone anymore.
When it was my turn I was taken to a room and told to put on a gown, I was weighed as I had elected to have a general anisthetic (there was no way I was going to be awake) then I walked into the operating room and hopped up onto the bed and layed back. All the people in the room were friendly and surprisingly comforting. They admisistered the general and I was told to count back from 10. I got to 9.
The next thing I knew I was waking up in recovery to a nurse checking me and then being given a cup of tea and some buscuits. Before leaving I was given prescriptions for antibiotics and told to make sure I don't have a bath or spa or go swimming for at least 2 weeks.
It was the hardest thing I had to do. Made all the more harder by the fact that a year later both our parents said that if we had ever found ourselves pg that they would offer us all the support we needed. If only we had told them in the first place.
But it is now 10 years later and my then bf and I are married and have 2 beautiful children and life for us is good. We both still remember the date that the bub was due and we have a moment of quite reflection, it is not something that we will forget.
In July of 99 just after my then BF and I had moved in together with friends I was sick and missed taking 4 pills. As soon as we realised we stopped DTD and waited out the rest of the month.
It didn't take long for the symptoms to start and a trip to the doctor confirmed what I already knew deep down. Even though I was positive that I was PG seeing the 2 lines on the test had me in shock. I left the clinic and was in tears, all because I knew how my BF would feel.
I spent the rest of the day trying to ring him at work and got no response. When he finally called me back and I told him he became distant. Over the next couple of days I felt alone and didn't feel like I could talk to anyone.
My bf told his sisters and they would in turn call me on the phone and tell me that I should have a termination. I felt bullied. I never really believed in termination except in certain circumstances but I knew deep down that at this point in my life there was no way I could bring a child into it.
So after a rew days my bf and I went back to the gp to get a referral to a private clinic. The gp said that he didn't believe in what I wanted to do and that he couldn't give me a referral and sent me out into the waiting room to see another gp, who then gave me a referral.
I made my appointment and went to the clinic by myself for the first appointment. I had to have a session with a psychologist who wanted to know why I wanted to do this and if I had thought it out properly, I then had a session with the Doc who showed me all the tools that they use during the procedure and explained how they all worked. I then had an ultrasound in which the doc kept the screen turned away from me and we arranged for a time to do the procedure a few weeks from then. During the U/s I wanted to see what my baby looked like.....I had a yearning to know.
Over the next couple of weeks i felt even more alone as everyone kept telling me that I was doing the right thing. I just kept praying that I would miscarry instead of having to go through with the termination. I thought about running away and having the baby and knowing that it was entirely selfish of me.
The day of the D&C came and my bf took me to the clinic and sat with me in the waiting room holding my hand, it was the first time since I found out that I didn't really feel so alone anymore.
When it was my turn I was taken to a room and told to put on a gown, I was weighed as I had elected to have a general anisthetic (there was no way I was going to be awake) then I walked into the operating room and hopped up onto the bed and layed back. All the people in the room were friendly and surprisingly comforting. They admisistered the general and I was told to count back from 10. I got to 9.
The next thing I knew I was waking up in recovery to a nurse checking me and then being given a cup of tea and some buscuits. Before leaving I was given prescriptions for antibiotics and told to make sure I don't have a bath or spa or go swimming for at least 2 weeks.
It was the hardest thing I had to do. Made all the more harder by the fact that a year later both our parents said that if we had ever found ourselves pg that they would offer us all the support we needed. If only we had told them in the first place.
But it is now 10 years later and my then bf and I are married and have 2 beautiful children and life for us is good. We both still remember the date that the bub was due and we have a moment of quite reflection, it is not something that we will forget.