PLEASE help settle DS at bedtime....

[SalTheGal]

DS2 is nearly 12wks, and we are finding night times a NIGHTMARE to get him settled.

He doesn't take a dummy- which DS1 did, so i am not used to how to settle without one...

Day sleeps he goes down drowsy but awake and settles brilliantly with a pat- he seems to really enjoy being patted to sleep...but come night time and nothing we do seems to work. :no:

We start our bedtime routine about 6.30- bath, massage, pajamas and feed, till about 7.30, and he will almost always be sooo sleepy- drifts off on the boob...but the minute I put him down the drama begins- he cries everytime we put him down, and rocking/feeding/patting nothing seems to work- he will settle in our arms or feeding again- but as soon as he is put down is screaming again within minutes, we can pat him to sleep, but again as soon as we stop he cries....it can take up to two hours to get him finally off to sleep!

Any advice would be soooo appreciated, the thing is I know he is soooo tired- he just won't give in! Maybe he is over tired as the last nap of the day is never a good one- but how do we over come that???

I would really love to get on top of this as it is impacting on DH's relationship as its the main time he see's him and he just gets so frustrated that all he does is cry!

[threechooks]

Maybe you were very lucky with your first, but this all seems like pretty normal baby behaviour to me...sorry no solid advice to add. Do you breastfeed? Will he breastfeed to sleep?

[~Bec~]

Is he wrapped? I found wrapping and bouncing on the swiss ball the most effective method to get DS to sleep. Oh, I also put a sweaty shirt of mine in his cot next to his head and that worked a treat. He literally turned to it, inhaled and settled off to sleep (or maybe he passed out from the fumes, hard to say...)

[2girls&1angelboy]

sorry i havent got any big advice but a big huge hug.
i used to put dd in our bed as she didnt used to sleep
hes 12 weeks did he use to settle before of a night im wondering if its growth spurt time???

[~Temet Nosce~]

Hmm just a thought.. how bright is his room at daytime? Could he maybe just not like the dark? (though, with daylight savings I imagine it isn't dark when he goes to bed?)
otherwise, it could be colic or something.. it is usually always at it's worst in the evening after all the air buildup throughout the day.
Only other thing I can suggest is an earlier bed time, to eliminate the possibility that he is overtired.. good luck

[goodgoog]

It might not seem like it - but it will get better! I agree with Bec - a nice snug wrapping can do wonders. Another idea would be wearing him in a sling and only putting him down when he is fast asleep. Or you could also try some music/white noise - sometimes that can work too.

[SalTheGal]

THanks for all the feedback,

threechooks- he will BF to sleep, but won't stay asleep when I put him down- would gladly feed him to sleep otherwise.

Kai- yep its still light when he goes down, and we have a fairly bright night light so its not massively dark in there.

And thanks for the hug lovemygirls! :goodvibes:

He's never really settled that well at night- its been a struggle, up till a few weeks ago we were lucky to have him down before 10pm- now I am slowly reigning it in, but its still soooo hard!


I also put a sweaty shirt of mine in his cot next to his head and that worked a treat. He literally turned to it, inhaled and settled off to sleep (or maybe he passed out from the fumes, hard to say...)

:laughing: Thanks for this idea- definitely one worth a try that I hadn't thought of!

goog- was using the white noise early on and sort of forgot bout it- will get it happening again.

And he is wrapped tightly- during the day its fantastic- the minute he is wrapped his eyes start to droop, great sleep cue, just not working at night time!!

Thanks so much for all the ideas so far!!!

[2girls&1angelboy]

both my dd loved the noise of the vacuum and now when they are sick all they want is the vacuum on dp is the same we had the vacuum going all night i would hate to think what the neighbours thought

[Kema]

A few things that work for us are

A CD (we didnt buy the expensive calming CD just one from Woolworths)

Rubbing her tummy

Putting her in a sleeping bag...everyone says wrapping helps to settle but for us it was the opposite.

Skipping the massage...:p

Also I find if DD doesn't get her mid-day sleep or if its an interupted sleep then she is much harder to settle at night.

DD has her afternoon sleep in her swing (generally) but all other sleeps are in her cot if we are home, it took a while but now she knows her cot is a safe spot she goes off to sleep really well there. I have found consistency is key, if her "routine" is all over the shop her night time sleep is too.

Kema:bee:

[Nifty]

Hi

I don't have any tips.
I've got a 8 month old and he is a nightmare at night aswell. At daytime he also goes to sleep no problems.
I've got about the same routine as you. Tonight he was so tired he fall a sleep while drinking his bottle. I kept him in my arms for 5 mins and then brought him to bed. He stayed in bed for about an hour and then woke up again. I've tried to get him back of but no luck he just started to cry even more. I've also got a 4 year old and he was in bed so i took my 8 month old downstairs and 15 min later he was a sleep again. I know he will stay a sleep until i go to sleep and just as i'm about to fall a sleep or just after he wakes up again.
So no help for you but just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

I have tried to let him cry himself to sleep but he got so upset that he true up his bottle of milk so i'm not trying that again.

I have him in a sleeping bag so he doesn't get cold when i put him in his cold bed.

I'm thinking about buying him a teddy maybe that will help. I might take it in to bed with me so it smells like me.

good luck and please let me know when your little one goes to sleep with less crying

Thanks,
Nifty

[moozle]

This has ALWAYS been the worst time for us with our DS. We had exactly the same problem as you and the only way that we could deal with it was to keep the tv quiet, the lounge room dark and hold him until he got through the first sleep cycle and well into the 2nd (total about 1 hr) Then we could put him down without the dramas. He is now a bit better. We had enough of that by the time he was 8 months and we tried the baby bliss method which we still use. He has only ever had 2 nights where he has gone down at night and we haven't heard from him again within the first hour. Usually he wakes after 30 - 40 mins and we have to re-settle. Now it usually only takes 1 minute and he's back down again. There are a few nights where he still wont settle well though and I think that just comes as part of the package of being a parent :) I feel your pain but it DOES get better :hugs:

[Tam-I-Am]

Is he wrapped? I found wrapping and bouncing on the swiss ball the most effective method to get DS to sleep. Oh, I also put a sweaty shirt of mine in his cot next to his head and that worked a treat. He literally turned to it, inhaled and settled off to sleep (or maybe he passed out from the fumes, hard to say...)

:iagree: (and :laughing:)

Firm swaddling, and bouncing on the swiss ball was what used to settle Connor the best of anything. Hope you get some joy soon :hugs:

[TripleTime]

I second a firm swaddle & swiss ball bouncing. Also helps with wind & your tummy muscles.

[SalTheGal]

Thanks heaps everyone for the ideas...I've definitely been given some things to try.

After thinking bout it all last night- I think maybe he's been getting overtired, he has gone from not settling till 10pm at night as a newborn, to bringing it right in, so I was a little concerned about him going down too early, but I guess I just need to follow him a bit more....

So over the weekend going to work on really watching his cues- and see how we get on- add in the white noise, and the smelly t-shirt, and we will see how we go!

[Nifty]

Hi

I just wanted to tell you how my little one went to bed today. I read all the tips yesterday and i stole some ideas and made them my own.

This morning when it was time for his first sleep in put him in his sleeping bag gave him a bottle and while he was having a bottle he fell asleep so when he was finished i put him in bed. As soon as he was in bed he woke up again so i put him on his tummy and stroked his back and made a sssshhh ssssshhhh sound. after crying for a while he went to sleep. I was still in the room because he sleeps in my bedroom and it was a mess so i was walking around trying to make it tidy.
For his second sleep i put him in his sleeping bag again gave him his bottle and put him in bed on his tummy. He started crying straight away so i gave him his dummy and stroked him until he was "quite" Then i sat down on my bed with my laptop and made the ssssshhh ssssshhh sound again until he closet his eyes and then i stoped and stayed where i was until i was sure he was a sleep.

Tonight i started a little too urly but it still worked. I did the same again i put him in his sleeping bag gave him his bottle but i thought he wasn't tired yet so i kept him with me for 15 min and then he started to rub his eyes. So i put him in bed. I've put a little light on in the bedroom because it was realy dark. He started to cry but after stroking him over his back and making the sssshhh sssshhh sound he fell a sleep after 15 min. I stayed in the room again. i sad down on my bed and did some puzzles :D

i know if i walk out of the room he will go crazy and will trow up his milk. I will sit further away when he is used to going to sleep and I'm hoping i'm out of the room in a couple of weeks but i'm so happy he went to sleep this way today

It works for me so everyone thanks so much for your tips because it realy helped me.

SalTheGal good luck with your little one!

[SalTheGal]

Nifty- thats awesome!!! Sounds like you've found what works...fingers crossed it continues!

Well I have an update too!!

Yesterday I really worked on getting good day sleeps- and for the first time in ages he had a textbook day- perfect 2x2hr sleeps then another 1.5hrs late in the arvo.

When he woke up from his arvo sleep at 5.15 he had 45mins of playtime, then I fed him at 6.15pm, gave him a bath, wrapped and cuddled, then at 7pm he got a topup of EBM and went down after another cuddle with MINIMUM of fuss!!!

We put a tshirt of mine in his cot, which maybe helped!

DH and I went out for dinner so my mum was doing the honours after 7pm- but she called at 8pm to say he was fast asleep and she had only had to go into him once after putting him down- she patted him off again and didn't hear a peep from him again!!!! :smiliedance: :smiliedance: :smiliedance:

So I really think that a combination of getting him to have a better final arvo sleep- and a bit later one, and also bringing his bedtime routine forward has helped...atleast it did yesterday- and yesterday is only one day so we will see what happens today- but it gives us something to work towards!!!

[Tam-I-Am]

Oh that's awesome Sal. Glad you had a better day with him yesterday, and a night out - hope today's gone as smoothly :hugs: