Does Anyone have any advice??

[Sarak7]

Going through hell right now and think i still have a while to go...

[Ange&Seth]

Well it's good that you have stopped yourself from drinking and taking up smoking again, but maybe you could give us a bit more of a background as to what you mean by 'going through hell' ? Are you a single mummy and feel alone or are you frustrated at being pregnant?

[Sarak7]

I'm 19

[Ange&Seth]

aw hun :hugs: bubs need love, no matter where it comes from and a mummy can and does give more than enough love. You will be a fantastic mother and having dad in yours and bubs life won't necessarily mean bub will have a better life, does that make sense?

I'm not a single mum but sometimes I feel like it, but I can't really give you too much info on what it's like to actually BE a single mum. Can you move somewhere you DO like and set yourself up? You know, get on your feet and just be you and be happy?

[~EmsMum~]

I'm 19

I've just become a single mum to be,

I feel lonely pretty much all the time,

I don't feel as though i can give this baby the life i want it to have (A FATHER) and a happy mum.

I live with my mum that i never see in a place i hate.

I'm just terrified.

hunny im going to pm you

[jessgray]

:hugs: hun have you told your dr or midwife how you are feeling?

[the_queen]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Lovey, you need some in-real-life counselling. We're all here for you, but you sound like you really need to talk to someone in real life. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you, please get some help.

[KarniF00l]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Lovey, you need some in-real-life counselling. We're all here for you, but you sound like you really need to talk to someone in real life. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you, please get some help.


:yes: what she said !!

[mamachops]

Please sweetie, look after yourself and your child. The decisions you make now will have profound effects on your future. Good on you for not hitting the drink and cigs.

You need to talk with someone, can you make an 'emergency appointment' at your GP this afternoon? You sound rather hopeless, and could possibly be suffering from a wee bit of depression that your GP can help you with.

If you can't do that, I would urge you to phone someone like Lifeline 131114 for some support. They can also advise you on some support groups or similar local to where you are.

Do it for yourself.

Big hugs:hugs:

[mamachops]

Also try some positive energy things like going for a walk, a sit in the park, a visit to the beach, a museum, a ferry ride, a movie. Anything to get you out of the house.

[ziggie]

I wish I could give you a real life :hugs: !!!!!!!
Ditto to eveyone elses replies.
Love Sarah

[~Danni~]

AwwwI don't really have any advice, sorry.... I agree it might be good to go talk to somone though, ringing the maternity ward where your going to have your bubba is a good idea, they can put you in touch with counsellers, social workers and all sorts of other helpfull people (I know it might seem 'daggy' or what ever but they can be really helpfull)

It's really good that although you feel like getting drunk/smoking you didn't do it for your little bubbas sake (see you are alrady on the way to being a good mummy;) ) It takes a lot to base all your decisions on someone else and your already doing that, good on you!!

Bubhub also has heaps of helpfull people and info:yes:

:hugs: To you and I hope things start looking up!!

(I'm not a single mum but I am 19 too:rolleyes: )

[T Bear]

It sounds like you're really going through a tough time at the moment :hugs: .

I think the most important thing you can do is try to build up a good support network. A baby doesn't necessarily need a father, what it needs is lots of love. It doesn't matter if that love comes from a mother, a father, grandparents, aunties and uncles, friends, neighbours etc etc. My mum was on her own with me until I was about 3 and she gave me everything I needed and more, she had no family as they are all OS but lots of supportive friends. It might be good to consider joining a young mums support group. I'm not sure where you live but there is probably one in your area. You might find it helpful to make contact with others who are at the same stage of life as you, since many of your other friends (if they don't have kids) will probably find it difficult to relate to you and what you're going through. I know that at 19 I was starting uni, living in share houses and partying and to be honest I found it hard to relate to my best friend's life as she was living interstate with her partner and had just had a baby boy. I did my best to be supportive, and she also remained supportive of me and my life which was great (and were still great friends). But she also made some friends her age with young children and I think it was really good for her.

Try to stay positive and stay focused on the things you want in your life (you don't have to stop being you just because you have a baby). There are some real advantages to having children when you're young. At the same time that my best friend had her first child at 19, my aunt had her first child at 38, and to be honest I think it was a lot easier for my 19 year old friend to cope with the changes to her life than for my aunt. She just had so much fun being a mum and got so much joy from watching her little man grow. I know that at 28 I'm already more set in my ways and less adaptable than I was at 19 and sometimes I think it would have been nice to have started younger.

Well, goodluck, I hope you are able to get the support that you need and deserve.

[Will]

Hi Sara :hugs: to you!! I am a single mum, i'm 21, my beautiful lil man i four months old on saturday, and i live with my mum in Bundy and i only know one person that i can socialize with. I felt exactlythe same as you when i first moved to bundy i was about six months preg at the time. It DOES get better, i promise you!! PM me when ever you need, i have been in a similiar situation and hopefully can help if you want it!!

[sam's mum]

You could try writing down the things that are good in your life, and then when you feel down read them. This will help you remember the positive things when you may not be in a mood that they come to mind readily. Add to the list when things are going well so that you can see that there are positives. Write the negatives down as well, but throw them away.

As other people have said - try to find a support network. Young mothers group, single parents group, or just a parents group.

It is good that you have realised that you need help though, and the sooner you get it the better.

:hugs:

[SassyMummy]

I agree with everyone who has suggested getting professional advice/help.

I've been throughout the forum and have noticed many of your topics...a lot of them written in a scared/worried way.

I think what you really need to do is seek professional advice. I'm not doctor, but you seem to be very stressed and quite possibly depressed. This is going to be one of the most exciting (albeit life-changing) events in your life and you owe it to yourself to enjoy it. If enjoying it means you have to get help (in order for you to enjoy it) then get help. You'll feel a lot better for it.

If you're worried about other people's opinions about how you're feeling, don't tell them. Chances are they won't understand anyway...so they MAY make you feel even worse. I think it's best to keep such emotional topics to yourself and share them only with people who can possibly relate (like here on BubHub) or give REAL advice/help (like a doctor).

Being a young mother REALLY isn't that bad...I'm a young mother...I had DD at a few months past 19. I'm not single, but I don't LIVE with my partner full-time (he'll spend 3-4 nights here, and live elsewhere the rest of the week) so most of the time I'm living LIKE a single mother. I too live with my mother...and it's irritating sometimes...but you get used to it. It's a lot easier than trying to pay for EVERYTHING on hardly any money. I still pay for things...but I don't pay for it ALL like I would if I were to move out.

Perhaps you should get yourself into an antenatal class for YOUNG parents. That way you might be able to make some friends and make yourself feel a little better.

Good luck.

[pookiesossige]

hugs for you honey :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

But I also agree with other posts here suggesting you get yourself a GP appointment and really express how you are feeling- they can then get you in touch with the right person who can help you. You can also call the hospital where you are going to deliver, if you know yet, they can do the same. Just please get some help.

When you make that first phone call or sit down in the doctor's office, it's easy to all of a sudden not make a big deal about how you've been feeling and play it all down. It can be easy to put aside the details of how you bad your struggles truly are and end up being fobbed off or not getting the help you need- write it all down, just like you have here. Take a list of your feelings and issues with you or have it in front of you when making a call. This is really important!!

I believe that you will be a wonderful mum :yes: You already are by reaching out for help and advice like this and by confronting your feelings about smoking and drinking- in this way you have put the needs of your gorgeous child first, before she has even been born... You have what it takes!!

[gidgeroo]

Hi Sara
I've read most of your posts and it sounds like you have a lot of not so easy stuff on your mind. You've been on my mind a lot - please take care of yourself.

I agree that getting some professional counselling would be a great start to you feeling good about yourself again. I cannot imagine what your life is like at the moment - but I can see how scared/tormented you feel. A virtual hug :hugs: from me.

Remain focussed on your health and wellbeing, make some real contacts in your community and talk things through with a GP, Maternal & Child health nurse or counsellor. They may help you more than you think.

I have a motto which keeps me sane "Don't sweat the small stuff" You seem to be worrying about things that haven't happened yet and may in all likelihood never happen. Focus on happy thoughts of you with your baby having a calm, relaxed time - positive visualation may help you get through the dark spots. We're all here for you but you need some contact with people in your community that can help you further.

I hope you start feeling better soon, take care of yourself and your yet-to-be-bor n bundle of joy.:hugs::hugs: :hugs: