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missymoo9
01-10-2009, 11:41
hi ladies,

I thought i would share my story with you all.
It was my first pregnancy and it was normal and healthy as you could hope for until i was 20+5 we had just found out we were having a healthy little boy. I had my hospital appointment at 20+5 and everything went fine. Later that afternoon i noticed i was bleeding a little and started getting theses pains in my stomach and felt i had to go to the toilet really bad but i couldnt, i went and felt something bulging. I rang my mum as i was at the shops and i couldnt drive. She took about 20 mins to get there and took me to the closest hospital, not the one i was booked into as it was a longer drive. I got to the emergency room and was the only one there, they dont have a labour ward there it had recently closed, they got a gyn to see me and told me i was having contractions, they got an ultrasound machine and checked on my baby and everything looked good and he had a strong heartbeat. the gyn said he wanted to do an internal as he put the speculum in he was very rough and then felt a gush of water he had just ruptured my membranes, an he continued with the internal even though i was yelling for him to stop, my mum and partner were out side the room, when he finally finished i asked if my baby was ok and he said probably not, i just started crying and called out to my partner and my mother. They orgnaised for the ambulance guys to come in, they introduced themselves,one of them was called christian, which is what we were going to call our son. I'll never forget that. I was transfered to my maternity hospital by ambulance. When i got there they took me straight to the delivery suite, where they told me what would be happening. I had an ultrasound to check my baby the two doctors were talking and one ran off, i asked what was going on and she said there was a heartbeat. They couldnt get obstetrician as he was in surgery. Finally he came in and saw my baby and told me that his heartbeat wasnt strong enough. My partner and i stayed the night i wanted to be induced during the day so i could of had some rest over night. Then next day i was give tablets to start contractions at 12, i was in bed for a couple of hours till i thought i had to go to the toilet i was sitting down then saw my babies head, in a second he fell out. I was all by myself then the midwives came rushing in and cut the cord and took him and dressed him for me. Shortly they brought him to my bed. They couldnt get the placenta out so i had to go into surgery to have it removed later that night. I spent hours holding my baby boy before i went into surgery, I had to have a spinal block and felt i couldnt breathe i was in and out of sleep through the procedure. I just felt so empty. I was returned to my room after i was taken to recovery. I spent the night and next day just holding my baby boy. I was watching the clock coz i knew i was leaving that day and it was the last time i would see my little boy.The hospital was just so amazing and thoughtful. It all went too fast, before i knew it was his funeral. It was just family there, we picked an amazing memorial park its so peaceful and beautiful, with a section for all the babies born sleeping.

Tiger Lily
01-10-2009, 11:49
I'm so sorry... :hugs:

Rebdot
01-10-2009, 12:44
:hugs: We lost our little boy at 20 weeks also.

I shared my story too and it made me feel alittle more at peace,

desperatetofall
19-10-2009, 17:09
You're story brought tears to my eyes as I too have just gone through a similar situation. Up until 15 weeks I was having a normal pregnancy. Then one morning I woke up with bad pains in my belly. I went to emergency where after an ultrasound and MRI I was told my bowel was sucking itself in and they had to operate immediately. The baby wasn't given a good chance to survive but it did. But it turned out that they found a cancerous tumour on my bowel. After a week of recovering and having tests to find out more about the cancer, we had to make the decision to keep the baby or terminate as the baby most likely wouldn't survive the chemo I was required to have. It was a heartbreaking decision to make. I went into hospital last Monday to be induced and Tuesday afternoon I started getting contractions. At 7:44pm my beautiful girl was born sleeping. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do and my poor husband watched the whole thing and I'm sure it's something that will haunt him forever. I didn't see her as my husband thought it would be too hard for me, considering all the other stuff I've been through and still have to go through. The hospital gave me photos that I can look at later. Because I was only 18 weeks pregnant I didn't have to name her or have a funeral. My placenta also didn't come out and I was put under a general. It was so strange to go through the whole labour and not have anything at the end. And no one can really understand what I've been through. A few friends close to me have had miscarriages this year but it's not even close to having to endure labour and give birth.

It's nearly a week and there's times that I just start crying, especially when I see pregnant ladies. This was a baby I so desperately wanted to have. And because of chemo I'm not sure if I will be able to have another child and we have to wait 2 years before we can start trying.

You're not alone in this and I'm sending a big hug your way.

Our Little Family
19-10-2009, 17:25
:hugs:
I'm sorry to hear what you had to go through, my thoughts are with you & your DH.

elleandsam
19-10-2009, 18:14
:hugs:
My heart is breaking for you and your DH.

CookiesRYum
19-10-2009, 18:40
:hugs::hugs::hugs:
what a heartbreaking story.. im so sorry to hear you had to go through that.

at a minimum I am glad the hospital staff were supportive and compassionate.

:babydust2:
babydust for you and DH when you are ready

sharonnscotty
19-10-2009, 18:46
OMG crying now, looking at my DS and sad for you both :(

brogeybear
12-01-2010, 10:41
:crying: I don't really know what posseses me to read this section, all i do is cry! My heart goes out to you and all i can think is why? And if only that stupid dr had left well enough alone, it makes me so angry and my heart breaks for you. :hugs:

kylza
12-01-2010, 10:47
:hugs::hugs::hugs:

May you find a little comfort in knowing all our angels babies are playing together in heaven.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

My thoughts are with you at this hard time.

Ruby Slippers
12-01-2010, 11:07
I'm sorry for your loss :hugs::hugs:

StormAngel
04-02-2010, 10:17
I am so sorry for your loss, xoxox

keevs
15-04-2010, 15:01
I have tears just streaming down my face. im so sorry, for your pain, and your broken heart. big hugs

Clannad
15-04-2010, 15:22
I'm really really sorry :hugs::hugs::hugs:

futureherder
15-04-2010, 15:27
:hugs:I am so sorry for your loss.

Gone but not forgotten - Christian.