Do you eventually stop liking your kids???

[Billy]

Just a question... something I noticed alot while I was pregnant is that very few people would tell me how great it was to have kids- just the bad stuff- like sleepless nights, crying, dirty nappies etc...

So now we have had our DD it has just made people tell us what is so terrible as they grow!!:eek: They draw on walls, the terrible twos, as soon as they can walk they will get into everything and run away from you etc etc...

Even though I know its not always easy and I'm sure these things are true- why can't people ever see any GOOD in their children??:confused:

The reason I ask this is that so far I haven't felt this way AT ALL about my baby and would never tell people how horrid she is (at least not without following with how wonderful she is hehe :p ), so I'm wondering is this something that happens over time?? Or are the people I have come across just foolish... :detective:

So the question is- I know we all LOVE our children, but do you eventually stop LIKING them...

PS- Don't know if it will- but I am in no way trying to offend anyone I'm just curious as to what you think and your own experiences

[EskimoMumma]

You have your days :laughing:



I think whats happened is that the bad is noticed more than the Good.

I had a revelation before, Even though it can be hell raising them up until..4.. it IS worth it seeing their smile and the gleam int heir eyes just before they do something and realize haha i can make you angry. Its also worth it when they "talk" to you and stuff and give you those special cuddles and hugs.

I think what thsoe people were doing were i guess "preparing" you, because it is very hard road to travel on. But id ont think we can ever stop liking it.

What we stop liking is being mad and saying No every other sentence.

[~Emmylou~]

I've never felt that way about my daughter either (ok maybe just once or twice when she won't sleep at 2am ;) ) but yeah I know what you mean.
People loooove telling you all the bad bits.
I think its either their way of venting (if their kids are still little) or trying to scare you.
I hope you don't stop liking your kids....my dd is perfect I can't imagine not ever liking her :laughing:

[aardvark]

Just wait till you have a teenager........

You still love them, but there can be a certain amount of loathing, too!!!

[the_queen]

I think that it's normal to get annoyed/frustrated etc etc at your children, and it's normal to notice the bad things more than the good. The thing is, if anybody else in the world drew on my walls with indelible texta, I wouldn't want them in my house again. If anybody else in the world poo'd on me I certainly wouldn't want to give them a hug afterwards. But there's something mystical about the relationship between a woman and the little person she's grown within her body.

[Mister Noodle]

Meh, I think it's just that there's nothing particular to *say* about the good bits.

I mean, you don't love your kids (or indeed anyone) for what they do, you love them because of *who* they are.

How could you put into words all the things that make you happy about your kids, your DP or anyone else? You can sort of vaguely coo over them, but that's not much basis for conversation.

Most conversation is about negative things. Simply put, *****ing is the greatest social binding force in the universe. Start a conversation about some good experience you had, or how much you like someone - and you'll get a couple of nods and an awkward silence. Start a conversation about how irritating somsone is, or some really awful behaviour, however, and you'll get dozens of people chiming in with "Argh - I know! You think *that's* bad...".

And all in all, I don't think this is a bad thing. Nobody can really tell me anything about how much I'll love my kid - and there's not a lot I can do with it. Knowing that the little tyke will pee in my eye if he's given a millisecond of a chance... now THAT, I can use.

[gidgeroo]

Maybe people's comments are meant to prepare you for what's to come but its a real shame that their focus has been so negative. Your feelings towards your bub are fantastic so don't let anyone else's negative opinion cloud your maternal instincts!

this is really silly but I've been accused of having "the perfect child" on more than one occasion. The reason I guess is that although he is not the perfect 3 year old I never dwell on the negative stuff he does. So when I tell stories about him they are always funny or cute stories and hardly ever about the naughty, frustrating things he does.

Its about perspective I think - I could talk about the lack of sleep, spewy clothes, endless nappies etc that's going on with my baby but instead I choose to focus on his spontaneous smiles, goohs and gahs and i celebrate a full nights sleep when it happens.

[kymmy]

Its harder to put into words how much love you will feel for your children - words just wouldn't do its justice.
I think ppl also get annoyed if you go on and brag about your kids.
I love my children so much I can't even tell you.

[Tarnya]

I think it's peoples weird way of helping you prepare for the worst? If that makes sense? We all see the good and appreciate the good and love the good in our children but we need to whinge about them and vent the anger that we have towards them so that we don't expell those feelings onto them. i do know people who dislike their children..sometimes..but if they ever lost them or couldn't find them they are just as much an emotional wreck as the rest of us.

I think you'll find it's just what parents do, rely on other parents for support and sometimes talk about their children in a way you think makes it seem they dislike them, we all love our kids but god they can test you.

I have now been doing this job for 43 800 hours straight (that's 5 years broken into hours) we have never had a holiday, or babysitters, or even been to the grocery store without my little ones so sometimes I don't like my job, sometimes I don't like the mess they make, sometimes I don't like how noisy they are, sometimes I don't like when they run away and knock older people over in the shopping centre, but i'll always, always love my children.

Sorry so long but I am one of those mum's that does whine to all my mates how much my kids are p@#!!@#g me off,and they whine back about theirs, no offence taken at all or intended but I just want to say no matter how much I dislike them sometimes I will always love them. Always.

[Funkychicken]

I found that whole business of how awful life will become actually started as soon as we announced our first pregnancy. It is always a constant battle, especially when you are vulnerable as a newly pregnant woman or new parent. It is hard to just 'brush off' what 'experienced' parents tell you.
But, I honestly believe that people are threatened by the level of confidence and love we show towards our bubbas. Most of those making these comments have children that are past toddlerhood and seem to forget all the gooey, lovey stuff. They see how much you are loving it and feel the need to 'bring you down to earth'. These are the glass half empty people and they are all around us! I'm sure they are not even aware how much they can hurt you with these comments-it seems like they were conditioned the same way. If they had a shi$#@ time of it with their children they want to make sure you do too!:thumbsdown:

[FourAngelKisses]

I would never stop liking my kids, I love them all more and more each day, I just can't help it. Some days I just don't like their behaviour very much, but I still love them.

Like this morning, Matthew decided he would shove a ton of pens into his rocking horses butt (one of those plastic ones from Big W) and I spent a good 5mins getting them out, only for him to go and stick a ton more pens in there straight away. Now that drove me mad, but I still love him tons. And when they draw on my dining room table, or the carpet.........still love em.

[SassyMummy]

My daughter is only 11 months old and sometimes I think how much easier it would if I could just give her away...

I think it's VERY normal to not like your kids sometimes...because they ARE people, just like everyone else. If you spend enough time with ANYONE, eventually they'll do something that'll really irritate you...so I don't see why your own kids should be any different.

DP does things that I don't like...DD does things I don't like...my mother does things I don't like and so does my best friend. The only difference is, with my daughter, my tolerance levels are a bit different.

I'll put up with getting pinched, scratched and slapped more than I would if it was DP/Mum/Friend/Anyone Else doing it. But then, that's only because she's a baby. If she were a teenager, and did those same things, I'd tell her off and probably think about what a b*tch she was being.

I love my daughter, and I always will, but there will be moments in my life that I dislike both HER and what she's doing. I don't have a problem with that...because I know that she's only human...and for her to NEVER p*ss me off would be a bit un-natural.

I also think that people will warn you about all the bad things so you know what you're getting yourself in for. It's so easy for us to imagine all the nice things...that's what most of us think about when we're considering having babies (or we imagine the BAD things, but we imagine them in an amusing way...we don't imagine how FURIOUS we'll be when our kids scribble all over our rental-house walls...we just giggle instead).

I'm guilty of telling people the BAD things...because there ARE things about being a parent which aren't-so-great...that's not to say there's nothing GOOD about parenting either...it's just easier for people to imagine hte good rahter than the bad.

[Mischief]

I think some people are just so darn negative and like scaring you!

When I was pregnant I got SO SICK AND TIRED of hearing all the "get all the sleep you can now", "Now you will know what life is REALLY like", "Enjoy your life while you can, its about to end"....negative comments....

I try to tell people the funny bad stuff....like when Oliver's poo exploded out of his nappy and filled the socks of his grow suit 5 minutes before we were suppost to pick up pizza, because we were having people over....LOL It still makes me giggle...and how 10 minutes after we had changed him out of THAT suit and given him a bath...he power chucked all over himself and his daddy! LOL (((HAHAHHHAAAHAHA...Laughing really hard as I recall this)))

But its nice to tell them the good stuff too....like how his first real laugh made his daddy and I cry, cause it was just the most beautiful sound in the world. How his first smile made our week, and all the sleepless nights worth while.

There are so many rewarding things! You dont have to tell people who are just about to experience it all the horror stories...that just annoys me. But alas people do, and there are a variety of reasons.......but in my personal (and not always correct) opinion, its uncalled for and un nessasary.