serious car issues

[raewilliams]

hello ladies,
I have been a member for awhile but found i havnt used this site much. now in my time of need i reach out to all mothers who may have some new ideas and advice for me. I am a first time mum to a georgous 6month old little boy. My boy is a really happy baby and im not just boasting cos i'm his mum. i often have firends and even strangers comment on how happy he is. even through the first few months of colic, when he is teething or just sick he still is really good and i harldy have any trouble with him. honestly there is very minimal crying and screeming. he wakes for feeds during the night but goes straight back off. Life is bliss and i'm loving it...so what do i have to complain about you ask? well my little angle turns into an instant nightmare as soon as the car door is open..(only a slight exageration there....often it really is when the door is open!)
my problem is that my boy hates the car!! he always has. when he was a newborn with the seat facing rearward he would work himself up into a scream where his face went purple and it was so ear piercing i had no choice but to pull over and offer comfort before he stopped breathing or something! at this age the screaming was often fixed by my mum driving the car and i sat in the back with him. most of the time that was enough to keep him happy or help him to fall off to sleep. so i just thought ók he needs to know im there.'
then a few months later the screaming still going on. (i couldnt drive 15 mins to my mums with out pulling over at least once) i turn his carseat around to forward facing hoping that that would make him happier. it lasted all on 40mins. he started screaming instantly if you put him in the car when he was awake and would not fall asleep in the car . i tried mobiles haning from the roof, music things toys. i tried signing to him (which helped him to goto sleep most times.) but ventually the only thing that worked was to put a little honey on his dummy so that he would suck it till he drifted off. a month or so later i got him off the honey and the dummy was enough though still many times i found myself pulling over because he just worked himself into such a frenzy there really was no choice.(i am not over exagerating and not just being a soft mum. trust me if its only whinging i let it go, but this is serious screaming!)
now at 6months he refuses to take his dummy at any time (which i dont really mind.) except that now i have asolutely no means of calming him down. im currently visiting family in qld, which envolves long drives to get anywhere at least half hr to an hr each way. im always in the back next to him and i have tried everything from honey on the dummy, to toys, singing games and even feeds (bottles) and i just cant get him in the car without at least one screaming match. if he is asleep first and i can get his seatbelt on with out waking him then im ok but its so difficult timming trips to his always different nap times. on rare occasions if your lucky enough to just get him in at the right time he puts himself to sleep but they are so rare i hardly notice them.... its to the point that as soon as i put him in the carseat he starts to cry. HE JUST HATES THE CAR! and his making me hate the car to i dont want to go anywhere cos its such a nightmare... i dont know what to do anymore and could really use some help!!
sorry i know this is a long post and i thank whoever takes the time to read this and reply... please any advice is welcome
IM PULLING MY HAIR OUT NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO!!!

[NonnyMouse]

Aw, it sounds like you're at your wits end! The only suggestion I'd have is togo and see an osteo or chiro... it may be that the position in the car is actually hurting him and he's developed a very strong negative reaction to the car because of it.

[xlouxloux]

so sorry to hear that ur lil boy hates the car so much, cant imagin how hard that must be for you! :hugs:
the only thing i can think of is looking at the carseat u have, the padding and the straps in it is it uncomfortable/too tight for him? or like Anon said the position he is in might be painful?
if he is still as bad forward facing as he was rear facing id be inclined to turn him back rear facing as its the safest, maybe even drap a thin muslin wrap over the carseat and the back of the seat to form a cave kinda?

hope u get some replies from people whove had the same prob!

[kerrin]

To try and remove any negative associations, could you try taking the carseat out and letting him sit in it while watching TV?

[MrsTiggyWinkle]

Is it possible he hates the noise? Just a thought... no idea how you would test that theory. Not sure if you can put ear plugs in a 6mo.

[TripleTime]

Firstly, i wouldnt be giving him honey. 2ndly, id turn his car seat back as its safer.

Both my girls scream when i put them in the car & will continue until we reach the bottom of our street.

He could be uncumfy in the position his sitting in or if the straps are to tight.

[mim1]

Is he just overtired? Maybe he's just really tired and acting up as a result?

Definitely change him to rear facing as it is SO much safer.

My only other suggestion is a big mirror - you can buy it at baby shops to go on the actual car seat (not baby seat) so it's at baby's feet when rearfacing. Bubs can see you and himself. It's worth a try.

[Mummy2R&K]

Aw sounds like you're having a rough trott.

I agree with the Chiro.........my DD has been 3 times now and sleeps through the night and is such a happier baby. I wish I had of gone when I was still BF as one side was giving her trouble, and it was the side her neck was out!! Oh well not to worry. Ring around and find one that specialises in children.

In regards to the car DD is still rear facing and what I found that worked was I printed a photo of DS and myself to A4 size and I have stuck it on the seat facing her so she can see it.

Happy trips now :thumbsup:

Maybe also try a teething rusk to keep him occupied in the car??

[JLeesmum]

To try and remove any negative associations, could you try taking the carseat out and letting him sit in it while watching TV?

i think thats a great idea. use it as a playchair for a little while, see if he gets used to it...

have u tryed blocking out the windows? or moving him into the middle? he might get carsick..

(and these days they say not to give honey untill 12 mths cos its got a bacteria in it. IMO a little bit wont hurt tho)

[raewilliams]

thanks for all the replys.
the doctor told me about the no honey thing till 12months after the fact so i know that now.
i do give rusks and biscuts but it didnt help..
as soon as i get back home i'll be seeking some medical advice, i like the ciro idea..
im fairly positive that its not being over tired as i have tried everything from, just waking up to just going to bed and it does not matter what time of day it is or during what cycle of his day that we go anywhere he still just does not like the car!!

i actually dont think it would be safer turning the carseat back as the manufacturing on my carseat says that a baby of 70cm length and 8-9kg+ should be forward facing, since my big boy is already 10kg and 73cm long i think the danger is mostly past and as the manual says it would possibly be more dangerous to leave him in reward facing..(though it is in a reclind position that they make for the larger but younger babies.) thankyou all for your concern and tips...

i love the carseat infront of tv idea!! i will definatly have to try that. perhaps some more possitive assosiations could really help.

thanks again everyone for reading

[raewilliams]

i think thats a great idea. use it as a playchair for a little while, see if he gets used to it...

have u tryed blocking out the windows? or moving him into the middle? he might get carsick..

(and these days they say not to give honey untill 12 mths cos its got a bacteria in it. IMO a little bit wont hurt tho)

yes his carseat already is in the middle due to thats where the anchor point was originally placed. the windows are allready blocked with those whole door sun shades.. (and ive tried without too.) i thought of the crsick/travlesick thing too, tho he is fine in planes and on trains and all the rides at the theme parks so im starting to doubt that theory though its something im still looking into...unfortunatly if thats the case you cant give a child under 2 anything for travlesickness, so looks like we could be in for the long haul with this

[growingbelly]

Have you tried thoese acupressure point bands for travel sickness?

I have always been sick in the car but not on planes, traines etc and the best thing i found were the acupressure bands. They go arround the wrists and press on point which helps with motion sickness. You get them from the chemist. I am not sure if they do tiny baby ones but it could be worth looking into. I wore them from about 2 so You can get small ones i am just not sure how small :confused:

I am also not sure if you can have acupuncture on a little baby but I have always found this a great option for motion sickness and pain management etc.

Also have you tried a portable dvd player? A friend of mine swears by it for her 8 month old. It seems excessive I know, but if it means it is safer to drive cause you dont have a screaming baby then it could be worth it :thumbsup:

Hope you get a solution soon

[kuddles]

Hi I really sympathise with you. My DS sounds exactly the same as yours. =) It is nice to have a happy baby now the colic has gone. He doesn't have reflux or silent reflux does he? That can make them scream in cars.
My little boy screamed and screamed in the car to start with. He HATED it. I tried sitting in the back and that seemed to help. It got to the point where I thought I would just try and ignore the screaming for a bit. I know it sounds cruel and was REALLY REALLY REALLY hard because I am a softy (can't bare to use the CIO sleep method). I found that by ignoring him after 3 or 4 trips (short trips) he stopped. It turns out he was just playing me because he knew he could! I hated doing it but it helped.
I hope you can find a solution because I know how stressful it is.

[raewilliams]

Have you tried thoese acupressure point bands for travel sickness?

I have always been sick in the car but not on planes, traines etc and the best thing i found were the acupressure bands. They go arround the wrists and press on point which helps with motion sickness. You get them from the chemist. I am not sure if they do tiny baby ones but it could be worth looking into. I wore them from about 2 so You can get small ones i am just not sure how small :confused:

I am also not sure if you can have acupuncture on a little baby but I have always found this a great option for motion sickness and pain management etc.

Also have you tried a portable dvd player? A friend of mine swears by it for her 8 month old. It seems excessive I know, but if it means it is safer to drive cause you dont have a screaming baby then it could be worth it :thumbsup:

Hope you get a solution soon



thats a great idea. i know exactly what your talking about as i use them for long distance traveling myself. i will have to see if you can get smaller ones...

i think i have heard of acupucnture on babies before but thats something else i can look into.. well im a single mum and havnt a lot of money. i have thought of the dvd player idea before but am worried ill spend the money and it will be yet another thing wasted as it doesnt work. thank you for your great ideas though

[raewilliams]

Hi I really sympathise with you. My DS sounds exactly the same as yours. =) It is nice to have a happy baby now the colic has gone. He doesn't have reflux or silent reflux does he? That can make them scream in cars.
My little boy screamed and screamed in the car to start with. He HATED it. I tried sitting in the back and that seemed to help. It got to the point where I thought I would just try and ignore the screaming for a bit. I know it sounds cruel and was REALLY REALLY REALLY hard because I am a softy (can't bare to use the CIO sleep method). I found that by ignoring him after 3 or 4 trips (short trips) he stopped. It turns out he was just playing me because he knew he could! I hated doing it but it helped.
I hope you can find a solution because I know how stressful it is.


thanks kuddles it is hard. i'm the same i cant stand to hear him scream. though i might leave him sit on the floor for awhile when he is whinging or crying for my attention in the car the cry is different its a real scream and i cant stand it. ive had to let him go once before for awhile due to the fact that there was just no where to pull over. and it didnt seem to help. how long do you let them go? eventually he still gets what he wants. its so hard to know what to do isnt it???

[PippaG]

My DS is the same apart from if I do a short trip just after a feed. If I sit in the back with him he's ok but if I'm on my own he'll scream and scream and scream. He's ok if I stop but then starts crying again as soon as we start to drive. I don't think he can be in a pain as sometimes he's ok, but I've ended up hardly leaving the house during the week as I can't bare hearing him cry like that. As soon as we get home and I go to take him out of the car he's all smiles.

[The sooper nanny]

you may have tried it already but have you tried a dose of infacol once in the car? My daughter used to sometimes get a gas bubble in the car and would scream the place down. I dont know if its the taste or that it gets rid of the wind, but it got me through some unsettled car trips. Worth a shot I reckon :sunshine: