Help, she wont sleep in her room!!

[JeSsIkA]

Hi

I have a 2year old daughter who has recently had a very bad flu and slept in our bed. Since becomg well she has learnt to climb out of her cot so she now has a bed. Trouble is she will not go anywhere near the bed, she screams before i even put her on the bed.

i have tried the super nanny thing of constantly putting her back but being pregnant i just dont seem to have the energy and cant keeping going for longer than about 45mins.

currently she is sleeping on one of those kids couches on the lounge room floor, untill she wakes in the night and makes her way into our bed.

I feel as though i have no time to myself as she isnt sleeping till we are and she wakes when we do and is always there, as much as i love her, i would love some time to myself, especially at night before i go to bed. Just time to do homework as i am a uni student and then to relax, alone or spend time with my partner. I need to get things together before the new baby comes....

Any advice would be wonderful. Thanks.

[aardvark]

If she's not toilet trained at night, what about putting one of the baby gates across her bedroom door? It would confine her to her room.

Just threatening to do that helped stop a similar problem with my daughter at a similar age, but you have to be willing to do it if you threaten.

[AM]

Maybe I'm just a softie, but I truly believe in meeting a childs needs, and if my child has a need to sleep with me at night, I will meet that.
I am a bit horrified at the suggestion of locking her in her room, I think that will not help any separation anxiety, but just exascerbate it.

I too am pg, and plan to co-sleep with two night nursers, if ds is still nursing by the time baby comes.

I too know the feeling of not getting time alone, but can your partner help out more in weekends perhaps to give you some alone time?

I just comfort myself with the knowledge that this too shall pass, they are not needy for ever, and the better we meet their needs early on, the more secure they will be later on.

Hang in there, I hope things improve for you.

Angie

[JJsMamma]

Hi! Im with ApprenticeMomma... All I can add is that we plan to have an open door policy (once he has finally moved into his own bed whether in our room or his) in that perhaps you can let her know its ok to join you but the rule is to come and climb in quietly so as not to wake everyone. Good to get sorted before the baby too. Is it possible for her to climb into your bed alone. If not there are those kiddies steps and stuff you could get if she is safe to do so. Otherwise figure out how she can get your attention quietly and calmly. Anyway hope it works out. Try to stay relaxed and flexible. Take care Amanda

[Chickadee]

Ok. I know it may be ideal to co-sleep with our kids and give them every moment of our waking day. Personally I can't handle that and need time to myself like Jessica, especially when DH is away for weeks. If moms out there can do it, great for them, but I'll weigh in with Jessica and am grateful that Chloe hasn't learnt to climb out of her crib yet.

Jessica - do you know if its the bed, or being alone in her bedroom that's causing the problem? If it's the bed maybe you could dismantle it and just use the mattress made up directly on the floor. Another option would be to put her mattress on the floor in your room, if there's space. If she knows that she can climb in with you if she wakes up later, she might be willing to start the night there at least. At least it would be better than her couch in the lounge and would give you some more freedom to work without waking her.

[JJsMamma]

I felt it necessary to add - that if a mother co-sleeps it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t need or desire some of her own time! Nor that she finds mothering any easier than any other mother. Nor as a co-sleeper would I label it ideal... My hero Dr Sears a world known advocate of AP acknowledges that these (co-sleeping as an example) are tools of parenting...not rules. He also teaches...If you resent it change it! Wise words...
There is so much pressure, competition and judgment on mothers - particularly from mother to mother.
One rule I adopt when deciphering advice is - Take what you find helpful and useful and discard the rest. This is without bias and as such applies to all schools of thought on parenting.
Good luck JeSsIkA with finding your balance.
Warm regards, Amanda