Help with ex

[lilmizamy]

Hi Ladies, I need your help, i am having issues with my sons father. before i had xavier, his father and i had a really rough breakup. about a month before i was due, i tried to make things civil for the babys sake. we organised what visitation he will have, which to begin with was a few hours a few days a week at my house. this didnt last long,as while he was there, i slept and he thought that was rude. so after 2 months of him telling everyone i am not letting him see xavier. I then made his visitation, 2 half days a week at his place with his parents. after a few weeks and the distance i had to travel, i changed it to a full day, so i had the chance to do things. he has only just started paying child support and gives me a days noticed when he wants him. i have always just cancelled plans and said thats fine. during my pregnancy and still now, i am getting threated with court and my son being taken off me. I have organised my christmas day and gave him 2 months to get back to me about when he wanted him, i never got a response so i planned my day. now he is abusing me and saying i am refusing acess when i am not.

So my question is what can i do, to get him out of his life or to get this to stop? He is never happy with anything i give him and only wants the baby to get at me. Is there someone i can speak with about this??

Sorry for the long story, just want to get the best help i can for my son.

Thanks Amy

[Fuchsia!]

I think you need to go to mediation and make a fully written plan as to what happens, on what days and how long and put rules in place. It will make it a lot easier and he has to follow it and you do as well.

That way you have a set routine and you won't have to cancel your plans for him.

[lilmizamy]

thanks so much. i will look into that tomorrow. the only thing is he has a rotating roster,so it makes it hard

[Fuchsia!]

thanks so much. i will look into that tomorrow. the only thing is he has a rotating roster,so it makes it hard

Thats not your problem hun, he needs to work that out for himself.

Im sure you will come to a suitable agreement but remember, do what suits you and bubs, not what suits him.

[SPC]

Thats not your problem hun, he needs to work that out for himself.

Im sure you will come to a suitable agreement but remember, do what suits you and bubs, not what suits him.

Exactly. It's not that he has a right to see the baby, it's that the baby has a right to see his father. The law says that a baby has a right to know both of their parents. It's in your interests to be seen to be trying to maintain contact. And do record any threats to remove your baby from your custody etc. The courts take that sort of thing very seriously. The 'worst case scenario' is 50/50 custody, unless you are a neglectful or abusive parent. Get some legal advice - it'll cheer you up no end.

[Issey]

i would organise a parenting order through mediation . They aren't really worth the paper they are on sometimes, however it does put things in writing and is a legal document that you can refer back to. Each parent then knows what is expected of them.

[moozle]

Unfortunately, I don't have any useful info that can help but I just wanted to say that I feel for you and your situation :hugs:

[TwoSweetPeas]

You sound as though you are doing a tremendous job of fitting in around your ex. I know its hard to keep up but it keeps the peace. (its exactly how things are with my ex)

Id say try the mediation route if he will go. Other than that im not sure as men can be bloody stubborn when they want to be.

Good luck:hugs: