View Full Version : Feeling very lost!
I have been searching through the links on here and notice that a lot of people that have lost babies or that are trying, already have a baby.
I kinda feel lost on here..... as my previous link said we are going to try again for baby #1 for the 3 time this year alone......
It feels like some times, coming onto this page makes you feel sad but happy at the same time..Does any one know what i mean? or is it just me.
I know what you mean. I think we can relate that feeling to a lot of things. Specially TTC as it's such a journey for some people and others it happens totally unexpected it can leave you feeling a little left out. I know that i desperately want to TTC right now, but am really trying to hold off till things are a bit more settled with our lives, but that urge is there i have to fight it everyday! lol. I think it's great that you are on a forum like this where you can get support and advice from mums with similar experiences. I wish you luck in your TTC journey and hope you get a BFP very soon! :D
Bel - I know its awful, but I occasionally feel guilty for thinking the same as you. While I'm sure everyone who has a M/C is devastated, I feel like I'm more affected because we haven't already had the joy of having another baby previously. Plus we'd been TTC for almost a year, when I got pregnant as well, so that made it even worse. I feel like its never going to happen for us and we'll end up an old childless couple.
My Husband is 32 now, I think we will keep trying till he is 35 then consider adopting. But for now i feel like im going through a complete cycle.
1. Find out you are pregnant.
2. Either MC or Get told to Terminate like with our first this year.
3. Start it all again.
shelley70
17-07-2006, 12:50
:gloomy: Everything was wonderful until last wednesday night. I went to to the toilet only to have very strong pains in my abdomen (7 weeks pregnant and my first at 35 years and throughout this time had bleeding but the doctor said all was ok and just natural) My husband took me to emergency where we found out the sad news that we had an epictopic pregnancy. My heart sank as there was no pregnancy coming up on the ultrasound in the uterus.I had surgery the next morning to remove the pregnancy and my left fallopian tube. I feel so lost and sad and seeing other pregnant mums is sad and happy at the same time too. My baby was so loved:kiss:
Tonysgirl
17-07-2006, 23:25
Shelley & Bell,
I am so sorry for you both - I also m/c and it was the worst day of my life.I am doing IVF and have been TTC for 2.5 years so I know how frustrating and sad it is to be finally pregnant with your first bub only to lose it.
Bel,
Keeping trying hun - you are still a young chikadee and :fingerscrossed: it will happen for you and DH soon.
Shelley,
I was also 7 weeks pregnant when they found the baby only had a low heartbeat so I had to wait another week to have another u/sound only to find out it had stopped beating altogether.The way you described your heart sinking was so true - nothing can prepare you for that feeling.
It is still raw for you hun so let yourself grieve. Nothing will ever make you forget your angel baby but I hope you will get your dream soon:hugs:
Take care girls
Donna
xx
Reading your sites ahs made me feel very heartbroken and yet blessed
that I hvae not gone down this road. Yet, in saying that I feel for you ladies that have had miscarriages. I don't know what it is like(fingers crossed) as I have never undergone one. I can hear your pain so much!
I am ttc my sixth child, its been two months(bummer) but hopefully
we will get there.This board has helped me so much and encouraged me and it's only been one day since I have registered so I am so thankful
to the ladies who have encouraged me.
My friend is going through IVF and it pains me to see her go through it.
Sometimes I don't understand her and she gets a little frustrating
at times because she always talks about IVF. I suppose I can understand her pain. I would be heartbroken if i had to go through IVF.
I am blessed to have five already but long for another son so much.
I cry myself to sleep just thinking about it. I would like to have a boy
so I can call Him after a dear friend of mine, Joshua. My son
is also feeling the pain and longs for a brother so much.
Being a mother has brought me so much joy and I am so thankful for
being there for them. I would never swap it for the world
and I hope you ladies will never have any more miscarriages again and have lots of healthy, hapy children.
Fresh air is always good when your pg. I sometimes wander if being
cramped up in homes too much can cause miscarriages.
Also drinking lots of water is good. I am sure it has helped me so far to not miscary,
take care and lots of love to you all and I will let you know when
or if I do conceive. I am hoping for a boy so MUCH!! fingers and toes crossed.
Having just had a miscarriage I know the pain you are feeling. The whole time going through it I took so much comfort from my other children that I could only imagen how horrible and terrifing if would be if you hadn't had any other children.
My thoughts are with you . I have heard of people that have had multiple miscarriages and gone on to have healthy babies and I hope this happens to you soon.
All the best.
MilkOnTap
18-07-2006, 10:52
Bel - my heart is going out for you right now... And believe me, my heart is in the very same place right now. I too am TTC my first child - but have two already waiting for me in Heaven. Its heart breaking sometimes to feel that our chances have slipped away. Yet for some reason we keep a small shred of hope that THE chance and THE opportunity is still yet to come.
I like to think that because women like you and I have had to really WORK for our healthy pregnancies, we are going to love our children and really appreciate what they are worth much more than someone who has never experienced the same kind of loss.
Chin up - there is still hope for you and I!
If you want to chat please feel free to PM me... :hugs:
Thank guys, I wanted to make a thread for all of us not just me... I have a lot compared to some people and i am grateful for that....
I hoping this month is our month again, but like some of you how do you get happy when you are pregnant and at the same time you sit there waiting for some thing bad to happen because it has so many times.
Bel my heart goes out to you. It must be so incredibly hard to face such a heartbreaking experience.
I miscarried in June last year, and consequently went through all the feelings of loss and heartbreak that are normal for such a time, but it was made even harder by the constant reassurances that it was ok as I hadn't planned the baby, and that just meant it wasn't time! They're right that the baby wasn't planned, but that does not mean it was not wanted, and not grieved for after the loss. My miscarriage took 4 days to complete, as the Doctors insisted the pg may still be viable, so I went through a rollercoaster of emotions of finding out I was pg, but not to get too attached as I was miscarrying, then told it may be viable, on an off for 3 days, till finally they realised my HCG levels had dropped too much for it to be viable and i had a D&C. It was the hardest thing I have ever gone through.
I'm pregnant now (planned this time) and it makes it all the more sweet that I have had to go through last years agony to get here.
Please do not lose hope. I've seen the most hopeless of cases of women being unable to fall pregnant or maintain their pg, only to defy the odds.
Thinking of you. :hugs:
cmd'smum
20-07-2006, 15:41
I know theres nothing much that anyone can say to take away the pain of having a M/C
All I can say is that you are all gorgeous women, how can a baby angel not want to be born to you and chose you as their mummy? :) They are preparing themselves to be your child and its only a matter of time before they are ready.......:yes:
You will ALL get there!!! :hugs:
Bel - I know its awful, but I occasionally feel guilty for thinking the same as you. While I'm sure everyone who has a M/C is devastated, I feel like I'm more affected because we haven't already had the joy of having another baby previously. Plus we'd been TTC for almost a year, when I got pregnant as well, so that made it even worse. I feel like its never going to happen for us and we'll end up an old childless couple. on that note, I had my miscarriages after I had my daughter, and I am the first to admitt that she is what kept me going, so I would say it must be heaps harder on women that miscarry with their first. :hugs: to everyone
Hokey Pokey
27-07-2006, 07:54
Yes, my heart goes out to those who lose their babies for the first time. :crying:
We are just waiting for the day when we have a bub and it starts pulling Scooby's ears and doing everything scooby has done to us haha...
But i hate the feeling and im sure a lot of you do.... "When is it my turn".... My DH is now 32 i would hate to think we might run out of time... As my mum had me whens he was 40 and i could never do that.
Bel
I think you are right in one sense - I know it did make part of the emotional rollercoaster easier in a way, knowing that I already had a child when I had my m/c. I felt so lucky to be able to hold my precious boy, it made him all the more precious. I imagine having a m/c first pregnancy it would be hard to wonder if you will ever have your precious child to hold. Having said that, I was still devastated about the m/c (as anyone would be). I struggled for years ttc and I was desperate for another child. The loss of the possibility of a child is pretty powerful, no matter what the circumstances. I wanted my son to have a sibling more than anything and I wanted another baby to love. I am happy to report a good ending for us though - I am pregnant with our longed for second child, due late this year. And a miracle happened - it only took a few months to happen after the m/c. I hope everyone here has happy endings too.
baby dust your way ,
Bec
allalone
30-08-2006, 07:32
Bel
I can completely empathise. I am raw with my miscarriage that happened a few days ago(my first baby) and even though I am keeping a brae face for the entire world, i am frieving inside for my angel...
I cant wait for TTC:fingerscrossed: Good luck....We are here:hugs:
allalone
30-08-2006, 07:33
Bel
I can completely empathise. I am raw with my miscarriage that happened a few days ago(my first baby) and even though I am keeping a brave face for the entire world, i am grieving inside for my angel...
I cant wait for TTC:fingerscrossed: Good luck....We are here:hugs:
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