I Need Help!!!

[evenigstar]

Okay so here it is, my fiance and I have a 19month old little boy. My fiance is not his biological father but hes been in his life since he was two months old. Supporting us and being a wonderful dad. Now my family doesnt like him, and when my family doesnt like someone or isnt getting what they want the call Children Services. We have had two visitis from them already. The first time was when my son was 7 months old and had a mark from his crib and one from his car seat wich our pediatrician verified for both. She said there was no abuse going on. Now this time my son was playing outside and ended up with a broken wrist so we expected them to come cause he is only 19 months old. So when they came by they were asking us questions about when he triped at our old house on a pice of carpet and got a gooseegg on his forehead,my whole family wittnessed this and my dad told me not to take him to the doctors so there was no way children services would know about it but they did. So someone in my family had to have called them yet again. They are driving my family apart, my fiance wants to leave which is just going to give them what they want. I dont know how to fix this or fix his name when children services wont belive me when I tell them hes not abusive...they still blame him for everything thats happend...

I dont know what to do and I need help, I dont want my family torn apart cause my parents are idiots.

If anyone has any adive please I would love to hear it.

[Lastcenturymum]

If you and your fiance are committed to making your relationship work, you need to either move away or disassociate from your family.

If he wants to leave you because of your family, then you need to have a serious look at how committed your relationship together is.

I don't know how much influence your family has, but it seems like a lot, in fact too much and you need to distance yourself from them, or you will pay a high price.

I hope you guys can work it out.

[BabelFish]

If you and your fiance are committed to making your relationship work, you need to either move away or disassociate from your family.

If he wants to leave you because of your family, then you need to have a serious look at how committed your relationship together is.

I don't know how much influence your family has, but it seems like a lot, in fact too much and you need to distance yourself from them, or you will pay a high price.

I hope you guys can work it out.
I agree - except for the commitment part. I think that's a bit unfair. He's shown he's committed by raising a child that isn't his own. Perhaps he's thinking about leaving so that his fiancee can stop getting grief from her parents, or because he's thinking that's the only way to make things right again, or because after all this time it's just emotionally too damaging for him. I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he's not committed over this.

But yes, I think it's time to cut off your parents, completely. Move away if you can, and don't tell them or allow them to find out your numbers or where you live.

How difficult for you :hugs:

[Just Add Water]

:hugs:

Honestly? I'd pack up your little family and move away so you can start fresh. Contact Child services and let them know where you're moving to and that they are welcome to call on you at anytime as you want them to know that without your parents making false reports that there is nothing going on.

I took on 3 kids and my husband's family has taken a dislike to me from day 1 (as opposed to their mother who has threatened to kill them all at least twice :rolleyes: ) so I know how hard it can be. Having been in the same position as your fiance I can tell you that I have often talked about leaving my DH so that it will stop the crap with his family. We have also been reported to child services, thankfully we only had to deal with it once and they pretty quickly cleared it up and declared it a false report - but it is such a harrowing experience to go through.

Sadly, sometimes being related to someone isn't enough of a reason to keep them in your life :hugs: You'll all be okay on your own because you have each other.

[BabelFish]

I know a couple of girls who have had these problems with their partners' exes - calling the police, child services etc, just because the ex can't handle that he has moved on. What does my head in the MOST, aside from the pain it causes, is that it's a MASSIVE waste of time for an already overstretched service like DOCS. It makes me furious that there are so very many children out there who really DO need intervention, and there's idiots like this in the world taking up child service's time and resources and money on false complaints.

[Poppetfish]

My mother was doing something very similar but she was making complaints because i wouldn't let her see my children.

I now have no contact with any of my family AT ALL! I don't have the best relatonship with the inlaws but no contact is better then negative contact.


Move house, change phone numbers, change email and just before you move call everyone and tell them that they are no longer part of your family and if they contact you again you will place an order on them.

I wish you all the best. It is hard but you will be happier once they are gone.:yes:

[evenigstar]

Thank you everyone for your advice I appreciate it. My fiance and I have just found out we are going to be having another little one so we are overjoyed about that. We are in the process of moving and i have changed my phone number. So thank you all again so much.

[mumbron]

:iagree:with all the good advice given, and congratulations on your pregnancy!:hugs:

[Boobycino]

Congratulations on your baby!

Goodluck with everything, I hope you can find some peace for your family.