wasn't meant to be

[jacks mum]

Well what a week of bad news

Tuesday night I started bleeding and was very worried. I had my first hosp appt on Wed morning so that got me through the night.

Midwife didn't seem to worried about the bleed but I still neede to know if it was a good bleed or a bad bleed. So glad I did.

Webt off to the drs and got an ulstrasound and straight away I could see no movement which means what you think. No heartbeat. I was meant to be 12 weeks and they said that bubs didn't make it past 8w 1d.

I was fine with this, after having a good cry. As I believe that these things happen for a reason and even though I'm not religous, God does these things to make us stronger. Unfortunately bub wasn't strong enough to be apart of our family.

Dr said it was probably best to let it pass naturally so I agreed. Silly me didn't think of how that would be. 2 mornings later at 2.30am I started bang with the worst contractions ever that went on for 2 hours then 20 mins break the started again but not so bad. In all this time only passed 3-4 clots. By 6am I rang the hosp and asked how long this was going to go on for. They said come in to emergency and get a curette. So off I go on Friday morning and I finally get to ring my mum about 11 to let her know where I am and that ds is with my mil and I find out that my nan dies 3 hours before. Well does it get any worse.

Anyway had the curette and it was the best thing ever. If i ever have to go through another mc I will be in that hospital before anything.

I seemed to deal fine with the loss of bub because ds has only just turned 1 and we have each other but then last night after visiting my mum it all came crashing down. The death of my nan didn't seem real to me either and I got home, came on bub hub and straight away went to due in Jan 07 which is habit and that hit me then. Of course it all came crashing and I was a mess for the night.

I think it is good that i have had the breakdown as I felt weird that I was coping soooo well.

Has anyone else been like this? I know that it was also a lot to deal with at the same time.

Good to get it all off my chest. thanks

[KarniF00l]

I'm so sorry to hear about your losses hon :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[2 Cherubs]

Sorry to hear about your loss....Take care

[Funkychicken]

Big :hugs: to you! I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. Sometimes we think we are fine and then suddenly it all becomes real and we fall to bits. You are perfectly normal for feeling this way-in fact letting it out is often the best way to cope with these situations. Keep crying as much as you need to-you have suffered a huge trauma. Get your DH busy looking after you!:hugs:

[MilkOnTap]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss... both losses I should say :hugs:

Sometimes when we know that we are in a situation that we probably wouldn't cope very well in, our subconscious blocks it out - allowing us to deal with everyday life challenges a lot better... I know this doesn't change the grief you are probably feeling for the loss of your bub and g'mother...

At least your beautiful son is there to give you a bit smile and sloppy kiss at the end of the day :kiss:

[jshaeau]

I am so sorry bout what u are going throu.
I lost one at 13weeks and i thought i was fine but i delt with it by pushing my partner away and bottling it all up. It took me nearly a year of self destruction to let my self grieve over it properly.

I hope u deal with it better then i did.
take care
:hugs:

[Bel1978]

I hope you will be ok, i have lost 3 now, 2 this year and we still do not have a baby :gloomy: , I have also lost my Mum to Cancer, Mother in law to cancer and Father in law to cancer, Although my husband and i did not meet each others parents you still feel the same as what you are saying.

To make it worst you think how many times do i need to go through it before i can have a baby of my own. Just remember the people you still have and the ones that love you.

I hope i have helped in some way.

[Tarnya]

:hugs: I'm going to start by saying, YOU'RE A CHAMPION. Everyone deals with grief in their own ways some destruct themselves some destruct others. You are so positive on how you have dealt with the past few days, and I think you've done more than what some of us could.

If you think you haven't grieved enough (I didn't at all when my dad died) I had a suggestion given to me about making a scrapbook. In regards to the ones you've lost make a book with photo's pictures momentos etc it was very helpful to me.

Give that beautiful boy of yours a big big hug from all of us too, you'll both need it :hugs:

[Mum&bubs]

Sorry to hear about your losses hun :hugs:

[Sienna]

So sorry to hear of your losses. I know how it feels. Good thing of joining bub hub, it really helps.

Sienna.

[ourfirstbubba]

I am really sorry about your loss......take care of you and let your hubby and baby kiss and cuddle you lots :hugs:

[Pink73]

:hugs: Sorry for your loss I also had A MC last month and have a son named Jack and my gran past away in Dec she was the wonder woman that raised me you are right our little men and DH make it a lot easier after reading a lot of posts i realisesd how lucky I am and even if i never have another baby i have My DH DS my health a roof over my head and food on the table which is a lot more than a lot of people
Life will go on and we are trying again so fingers crossed there will be good news for us both next time around
Bye for now Karen:wave:

[whitsundaysmumma]

My deepest thoughts and sympathies are with you at this moment:hugs:

[Percy]

Im sorry for your loss too.

Its coming up to my sons 2 year annivesary, and sometimes it seems like it hurts more now than when it happened.

My thoughts are with you.:hugs:

[Michaela]

I am truly sorry to hear of your loss.
My beautiful son Oliver was stillborn at 27 weeks in October last year. I was in shock from the moment I found out and during the delivery. The whole thing at the time seemed a bit too sureal. Two days later I think I cried more in 24 hours than not (if that makes sense!). The reality of the situation hit home.
Also, it takes about 3 days for your body to stop sending you "happy pregnancy hormones" so it normally does come crashing down around about that point anyway - from what I hear, even after you have a healthy bub.
Just be kind to yourself and cry whenever you need to.

[Hokey Pokey]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss :hugs: