Help to stop patting

[Melissa1983]

Hi guys
Just wondering if anyone can help. Since Mikayla has been going to day care she has wanted to be patted to sleep. I don't know how to get her out of it. I don't have time to sit there and pat her for 2 hours before she goes to sleep, far enough if it was 10 mins.
Has anyone got any advice?

[mumof3angels]

You said it started since she started daycare so the best place to start would be to ask if they do it for her at the centre and if so ask them not to but you may need to come up with something else for her the have or do to replace it. Preferably something to have/hold so it can be remove at a later date if you choose and so it not something phyiscal that you have to do. My first daughter (2nd child) was very clingy and wanted cuddlys at bed or sleeptime. Which was nice to have one - on - one time with her but can become quite time consuming and take a extra time off my first son which he was already feel without even more being taken. So we gave her a teddy to take to bed only. He stayed in her bed to take care of it and if she want to cuddle teddy then she had to lie on the bed with teddy. This help stop it become a hassle with being too clingy to teddy and him having to come everywhere with us. She is now 4 she still has her special teddy but she doesn't have to HAVE teddy she actually lets her 21mth old sister use her teddy when she is sad or overtired and not so easy to settle. You could also try soft music or books. I hope you find a less time consuming end to this problem and all are happy with the choice

Deanne 27 and Danny 25
Connor 10/11/98 Heart Child :cool:
Sarah 09/07/01 :p
Ally 03/11/03 ;)

[Melissa1983]

She actually has a comfort toy as well. I have asked them not to pat her to sleep, and they have tried, but she wont go to sleep unless they pat her. Tonight she didnt go to sleep until 10, because i wouldnt pat her.

[Chickadee]

It does get better. It took us around 2 months to fully stop patting. At first I would pat till she was calm and dozing and then left her. At first there are tears and I would be repeatedly picking her up for a comfort cuddle and then be putting her back down for more patting. Eventually it got down to a few pats on the bum and I'd leave the room. Sometimes I'd have to go back a few minutes later to resettle her, but I tried to limit it to one re-visit and she caught onto that quick and never cried or grizzled for more than a few minutes. But I really pushed it because I knew I was going back to work and wouldn't be able to rely on her carer to stand and pat her.

One thing I've noticed, now that she's older, is that the routines I used to use just don't work anymore. Patting her doesn't settle her, and if I start patting then she really objects when I stop and leave the room, more so than when she was 6 months old. It might be worth looking into a completely different comfort routine.

[Baby Girl]

Daycare did that to my daughter too - what a nightmare when you have other things to do at nap time! She had been going for a while and a new carer took over her group and started patting them to sleep. Nightmare begins....

She is fine now but we went through a rough stage. I used to turn a mobile on in her room and told her that I would pat her back until the song finished and then she could listen to the song one more time after I left the room. It took a week or two but by setting a firm time limit that she could relate too (not five minutes!! As she had no idea how long that was but the length of the song) and sticking to it she was quite happy to accept that as the 'home' routine. Now she doesn't get pats at day care or at home (no mobile song anymore either) and goes to sleep quite easily and happily on her own.

Good luck, I know how frustrating it can be when kids bring the day care routine home with them!! It doesn't always work!!