How Rude! Sister Vent

[Tam-I-Am]

I'm constantly amazed at how much input other people think they should be able to have into how you chose to raise your child. But when its your own family! Geez.

Long story short, I fought tooth and nail to keep feeding DD, and after 8 excrutiating weeks, and much heartache and soul searching - everything fell into place, and breastfeeding turned into the wonderful, bonding experience I was told it was.....

Fast forward 10 months, and for the last 3 weeks we've been having problems, which all started because DD caught schools sores somewhere. With extremely bad timing, she bit my breast, made it bleed and I got about 10 school sores on my nipple.....Breastfeeding again turned into an extruciating experience. But still, I fought on - determined to stick to my recently-made decision to keep breastfeeding for as long as DD wants or up to her 2nd birthday (I don't think I could go beyond that - but I'd be happy to wean her around her 2nd birthday unless she's already done so herself)

So I was talking to my mum and sister about all the problems that I've had, and how proud I was of myself that I'd worked through them, persevered and am still breastfeeding, as difficult as it is ATM b/c of pain.

My sister turns around and goes "you're not STILL breastfeeding her are you?" and I said "yes - why?" she's like, "That's disgusting. Don't you think its time you stopped? When are you going to wean her?" I said "Oh, you know, sometime before her 2nd birthday." And she goes - "Oh, yuk. That's disgusting. You're mad!".

Now, 1) - what business is it of hers anyway, 2) - its certainly NOT disgusting, anything BUT disgusting in fact 3) - there are three people in this world that my breastfeeding my DD affects (Me, DD and DH) - and she's not one of them and 4) - I would never go into her house and comment on how she choses to live her life and 5) - she doesn't even HAVE a baby (and likely can't - her DH is infertile) - so what would she know anyway.

I know all the arguments I should have used ie WHO recommendations, all of the above, but I was just so stunned and shocked by her nastiness and attitude toward something that I regard as natural, and my DD's God-given right - that I was left speechless. I'm still really angry and don't know how to confront her about it.

At the end of the day - I know I don't have to....It doens't affect her and has nothing to do with her, but I'd like to think that my family would support me in my decisions, even if they don't agree with them - but that doesn't seem to be the case...Its sad.

Sorry for the long vent - just needed to get that off my chest!

[munchkin05]

i know exactly how you feel

ben turned 13 mths yesturday and hes stil feeding from me
and my mum and everyone else around me just keep saying hes to old for it now
you have to take him off

at the moment expecially in the situation i am in i dont want to stop feeding him and nor should i have to cause some people disagree with what i am doing
if it annoys them so much tell them to look away

good on you for still feeding
im hoping ben self weans

do what is best for you and your bubba

[borntobemummy]

I feel like people think that about me and DD. I've recently gone through some sickness and Mastitis/thrush, yet we percevered, DD loves it so much, I don't want to make her stop. The plan was to go to 1 year, but now I'm considering letting her self-wean.
I can't believe ppl feel they have the right to make unhelpful comments like that, surely there would be a more tactful way to express their feelings.
I'm starting to feel embarrassed to feed DD in public (even in parent rooms, or around our families!) DD, can be quite squirmy too, so it might look to outsiders that I'm forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do. IYKWIM
Hopefully we can support each other here when people in our lives won't:yes:

[rynosmum]

Ignore her CB, we all have one of these in the family:rolleyes:

You're doing a great job getting through all of the school sore issues recently and still continuing to feed bubs. That must have taken true determination.

Some people just love to judge others because it take the focus off themselves. My mother always used the saying, "Don't let the turkeys get you down". I pass this on to you.:D :hugs:

[xkwzit]

Excellent saying RM, I will pass it down to my kiddies too.:yelclap:

Cheers

[cheezelkat]

You have done an amazing job! :thumbsup:

I plan on breastfeeding past 1 year as well, much to the grandparents disgust.

[InSaneOne]

i would ignore her and continue to feed your daughter. you are lucky your milk is plentiful. i wanted to breast feed until my daughter self-weened too but due to stress my milk dried up at 6 months.

i also had a slight problem with my sister when i first fell pregnant. she was living with us at the time and when i told her i was pregnant, the response it got shcoked me. she told me "you have a parasite growing inside you". :eek: i now think about it and in a way she was right (not that your sister is) the baby feeds off me to live - that is the same definition as a parasite. however when my sister visited me in the hospital just after bubs was born she said "how cute is she". its ironic how things change. i had to laugh at the time because i was thinking "she thinks a parasite is cute.":laughing: :laughing:

it will be interesting to see how long your sister breastfeeds for if she does have children.

[MrsTwith3]

Good on you for coming this far and:fingerscrossed: you can keep going.
It sounds to me like your sister could be expressing her feelings of being jealous in the things she says to you.
Keep your chin up and persevere and it will all work out in the end.

Mel

[Goosie22]

I feel your pain, some people cant keep the "happy baby = happy mum" attitude when it comes to breastfeeding, they dont value Breastfeeding.

I think your fantastic:thumbsup:

[Roopee]

I cant actually breast feed but i take my hat off to this who can.
I cant stand people like this who have no idea what it's all about yet still feel like their qualified to comment.
What would i do? Well i would make sure i fed my baby in front of her EVERYTIME i seen her and if she says anything then i would be telling her to p1$$ off! LOL
Congratulations on being so dedicated- your a better woman than me!

[*Chels*]

You cant choose your family:rolleyes:
Good on you for perservering this long!!Like you said,its nobodys businees but your own.
People ask me all the time how long I plan to breastfeed(and my DS is not even 9 months yet)
It ****s me too,like why do they care how long I will BF for?Like you,Im going to keep it up til DS self weans,or around 2 years old.
Keep up the great work!!!:thumbsup:

[lukaelmo]

At the end of the day - I know I don't have to....It doens't affect her and has nothing to do with her, but I'd like to think that my family would support me in my decisions, even if they don't agree with them - but that doesn't seem to be the case...Its sad.



Gosh, I really think this all the time. If it doesn't affect you, then just be positive for the other person. How hard can that be?

And you do deserve to be supported and also commended on your determination to continue BFing. You should be very proud because for some people it is not easy, it does not just happen naturally and the fact that you can feed is a result of your determination to do so.

I also think you are quite fabulous, not only because of your determination, but also because of the support I see you giving here on bubhub for others.

Go squirt some BM into your sister's face, that'll give her a decent reason to say disgusting :D .

[meme]

i think you are doing an awesome job with breastfeeding.

you are right , it's none of her business. it sounds like she doesn't know much about breastfeeding, because it's not disgusting, it's (usually) wonderful for babies and mums. (although, not always easy.) perhaps you could pass along some information about breastfeeding. i'm sure she loves her neice, does she realise how good breastmilk is for her wellbeing? perhaps if she knows just why breastfeeding is important, she'll be able to adjust her attitude.

i'm sure the ABA would have info or try this link for 101 reasons to breastfeed http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/leslie_burby.html

[misskittyfantastico]

You are fabulous and wonderful and kind and a brilliant mum....and that's that!

[Tam-I-Am]

Thank you everyone for your wonderful support. It seems that even when my own sister cannot (Will not!) support my decisions - I can always come here and find the support I need! :D

You all made me smile (and in some cases, laugh - Ali!!!:laughing: I may just take your advise about squirting breastmilk in sister's face! I'd love to see the look! It'd be much like that time I accidently sneezed full in her face when I was 8 years old, I imagine........:o :laughing: ) and for that I thank you! I know I'm doing the best thing for my DD - and for myself - and that's all that's important. Screw anyone who can't or won't take the time to understand and support me.

[KiLLaKaZ]

Q. sneezed full in my face yesterday & instead of thinking it was disgusting i thought it was soooo cute - i guess babies get away with ANYTHING!! ;) lol.

i agree - bubhub is the place to come to for support! i've been wondering how long to BF Q. for (i want to go as long as possible, without it being 'gross' - however long that is!! :rolleyes: ). it's helped me to know that there are some of u planning on feeding passed 1 year - tho i thought that was just normal! ;) i think i'll follow suit - just wait till she weans herself, or wait for her 2nd b'day - whichever comes first. thanks clarabelle for your perspective on this! :D

[abbynmonique]

that must be very upseting for you, its amazing the comments you hear,,and they are always from people who cannot relate to your experience, thats usually why they feel so differently. I have a friend who is still bf her 2 year old,and another friend who is planning on having no children thinks its discusting, well,boo hoo to those people who will miss out on one of the most plesant things a woman can go through in her life. They may unfortunatly never feel such an accomplishment and will prolly miss out on other oppertunities in life due to their tunnel vision.:hugs: