Feeling depressed and don't know how to feel better :(

[061109]

I lost my twins at 21 weeks.....3 months ago now. We have been TTC again this cycle just gone. When AF arrived about 6 weeks after I gave birth I was so happy as it meant we could try again. But I just got AF again yesterday (36 day cycle). I was temping and think I got AF at 6 or 7 DPO so obviously even if I conceived then the luteal phase was too short.
Getting AF this time made me feel like I was reliving my loss all over again. I guess I am grieving not only for my twins but also the baby we didnt conceive this month. I know it hasnt been long since our loss, but I feel so so depressed and sad today because I so badly wanted to be pregnant again. I just dont know how to deal with how I am feeling and what I will do if this happens again next month. I have quite long cycles, so the delayed ovulation also ****es me off coz it takes longer again...you know? Anyway, sorry to vent....just thought some others might have some advice on how to cope? Thanks....not really sure where else I can turn. :(

[moozle]

:hugs: I can't imagine what you are going through but i'm sure it's not much fun :( Have you considered having some grief counseling? It may really help you and allow you to get your emotions in check so that you are more likely to conceive next time around. Your emotions are so imprtant in all of this. Depression can make it harder to conceive. I'm really sorry for your loss and hope we hear some good news from you soon!

[SomewhereOverTheRainbow]

:hugs:, you just described exactly how I felt when I got AF after I lost my son at 19wks. It took me 3 months to get pregnant again with my baby daughter and it was the longest 3 months of my life. Unfortunately because a lot of the hormones still float around for up to 6 weeks afterwards, it can mess with your cycles a lot.
I really threw myself into TTC again and it almost became an obsession because it gave me something else to focus on if you know what I mean. I also made a TTC after mc/loss group here, and found it so helpful to be going through it with the wonderful girls on here who also had the same fears etc.
:hugs::hugs:Hope it happens soon for you honey.

[Rebdot]

It took me 1 cycle to fall pg after our son was born and I doubted that i would get pregnant, it was an obsession and very stressful waiting to find out, i spent over $100 on preg tests and $130 on OPKs and a maybe baby.

I was desperate,

I know I wasn't coping and I only did it for one month :hugs:It must be very hard for you and I hope you get a sticky pregnancy very soon.