Regrets?

[SimplyMum]

Does anyone regret not including the father?

I basically told my DS's father to nick off (he was in a bad way), and I don't regret it as such, but it would sure make financial matters allot easier. Especially now, I'm having probs with my fam and if I had a little extra $$ I could peraps move out which would ease tensions within my fam.

But while basically either way Bailey's losing out.

If his Dad was around, he wouldn't visit regulary, if he was ever to stay with him, he would be offloaded to his grandma, and more than likely allot of empty promises.

If he was around, could probably afford to move out, ease tension within the fam, his Poppy might actually start talking to him again (he's currently not talking to Bailey because he and I hhad an argument).

The whole thing just gets me so upset- I think I'm feeling a bit emotional, I might go and have a bath and let it out with a bit of a :crying:

[tyler's mum]

tyler's dad doesnt know about her, we were only seeing each other for less then 2 weeks:eek: and in them 2weeks i knew we would never work being together he is much to demanding and i was a bit scared of him,, lots of people tell me all the time that its wrong i dont tell him and trust me it has been very hard for me since the time i found out i was pg its all i think about,, but at the end of the day i dont know him and i dont know if i can trust him with my daughter my biggest worry is he will take of to africa with her and i never well see her again:(
i know you need a pass port but it has been done b4, were the dad take of overseas with out the mums knowing

i have writed tyler a letter and in that letter is her dads name and what i know about him and if she wants to find him i will help her, i hope she does understand why i never try to get in contact with him, i found out when i was 8weeks and i hadnt spoken to him in 8weeks

sorry iam goin on so much:ecomcity:

lee just know when you look at bailey and he has a smile on his face thats because of you and the good job your doin:hugs:

[babyboo]

Hi Lee,

Cant say I have any regrets. I see things as everything is an experience and we learn lessons from everything we go through. DD dad isnt in her life as much as i would like him to be, but thats the way it goes at the moment - doesnt mean he wont be in the future. We made DD together and both love her to pieces - that i do know!! I wouldnt change any of it for anything. I try to include him as much as possible (given he's in another state) and have and never would stop him from seeing or contacting her ever. She is his baby girl and they deserve to know and love each other. And i also think he takes comfort knowing that I would never stop him seeing her and ive told him that too.

To me regrets just keep you stuck in a place you dont wanna be.

Sorry to hear you guys are going through fam probs at the momoment. Is not being able to move out only a financial difficulty?. As it may be worth a call to centrelink. I think they may be able to assist or direct you to who can if you are on minimum income and need bond, etc for a rental.

You really only need 4 weeks rent (bond) + 2 weeks rent in advance. I know that sounds alot, but if you can get that together then you can get your own place.

Let me know if I can help with anything.:D

[Gribel]

Hi Lee

regrets...hard to say since DS Dad made it clear that he didn't want anything to do with us halfway thru my pregnancy. So I must say, I don't know any better than raising DS on my own. Sure you think how things would have been different if the father would be involved, but overall I'm quite happy and confident with the job i've been doing so far raising DS on my own...
I guess you just learn how to deal with things on your own. I can totally understand the tension you have with your family. I share a rather big house with my mum, and get very frustrated that DS rather would go to my mum rather than to myself when he's upset - just happened before. Sure there are times were we get on eacher nerves, but in the end i'm grateful that i'm not totally by myself.

[MumofMadd]

Hi my DP has a DD to his ex and he has not seen her since she was 6months(now 4) everytime he tried to organise a visit he would turn up and she would be gone. We lived interstate for 2 yrs which made it hard. As a result of this he does not acknowledge her as his DD and will make no attempt to see her, he feels he missed out on too much and it is too late. He tells me that he looks at DS and thinks about her and what shes like. I think it's sad, and my DS has a 1/2 sister that he may never meet.

[cjb/jbvd]

if you know the heartache that your ex will cause your beloved littlie, then don't do it. it's better to have the total love of one good parent, without the added half hearted effort made by the other parent. what's the point in trying to explain to your DS that it's not his fault, and there is nothing wrong with him every time his dad dumps him somehere or doesn't show up or breaks a promise. save yourself and DS the grief and let the ex go.

that said, you should give him the option of trying to contact his dad if he wants to, if he ever asks about him or where he is. if he's old enough to ask, he's old enough to know, and he can find out for himself what his dad is like. just be prepared to pick up the pieces.

as far as the money is concerned. most fathers feel that they should "get what they pay for". if they pay child support, they should be entitled to certain parental rights, free access, joint custody etc. and the worst part is, unless you go through the courts, legally, you can't stop them. you're better off talking to centrelink about some kind of parenting payment etc. there is financial support out there.