"Wish I was a single parent so my kids can have all those things" [Archive]

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MummaBear03

17-09-2009, 20:20

:laughing:

At the school this afternoon, I was talking to one parent about how my DD goes to this particular swim school for swimming already, and it's the same one the kids are going to next term for school swimming. I told her it'll be good though, she's an active kid and even though she's doing gymnastics and swimming year round, it doesn't seem enough. Said how Little Athletics has now finished up for the year and I'm thinking of getting her into self defense or something.

Another mum sitting near us made a comment about all her sports, and I said we go bike riding twice a week and do a 5k walk each week as well. She said "I wish I was a single mum so my kids could do all those things, we don't get them free so my kids miss out!" :laughing:

I told her that there is nothing free, there's not even a concession rate, I pay what everyone else pays and the only benefit I have is having an only child, as it's a per child cost with no family rate.

Where do people get these crazy notions from that single parents get everything free???

What sorts of things have you been told that are crazy like that? That have made you laugh really loud right at them?

sockstealingpoltergeist

17-09-2009, 20:28

:laughing: People say dumb stuff.

My friend wanted me to go on a shopping tour, and I said I couldn't afford it (when I was single), then two weeks later I bought a pair of new pants. She got huffy and said "Oh you couldn't afford a shopping tour but you buy new clothes all the time".

I said "These pants cost me $7 froma sale bin".:confused:

singlemumma82

17-09-2009, 20:42

Im sick of people commenting of how lucky i am that i get a break every second weekend!
Yes DD goes to her dads once a fortnight, but i would not class myself lucky (maybe compared to others SM without this, you guys rock :yelclap:) but i am the only one to do everything around the house, pay the bills, care for DD and myself when sick, what I would give to have someone help me with dinner or even DD after a long day :rolleyes:

reAllytee

17-09-2009, 20:45

Yeeeah geees I get soooo much that wow I can afford HEAPS !!!

Whatcha talking bout :p:cool:

MummaBear03

17-09-2009, 21:28

I must have just been my imagination that I paid $140 for next term's swimming fees (and more to be paid tomorrow for school swimming fees) and it must have been all in my head that I had to pay that $109 gymnastics fee for next term :rolleyes:

Not to mention the attire for all her various sports. It all adds up, and I'm happy to spend the money on it because I know it's of benefit to her but it makes me cranky to think that I'm spending a ****load on her for sports and get looked down at by people who think it's all free because I'm a single parent, they think it's just something else the govt is paying for!

ladybugblue84

17-09-2009, 21:29

What! haha what do us single mums get for free? I want free swimming lessons for DD :laughing:

Ana Gram

17-09-2009, 21:33

Oh come on laydeez, we get all this money from the government to do nothing :p

reAllytee

17-09-2009, 21:41

Oh come now are you SURE you spent it all on her for that ....

Wasnt it on a plasma ?????

Cause I buy one of them every week now :cool:

MummaBear03

17-09-2009, 21:42

Yeah that's right Chelle, and it's all spending money too isn't it! We don't have to pay for all those living expenses to keep a roof over our head, food on the table, clothing on us, and all our children's educational and medical needs, it's all for us to spend on luxuries because everything else is free, including sports so it seems :p

Benji

17-09-2009, 21:45

Well dontcha know mummabear that all of us unmarried mothers get free swimming lessons, cars, free housing, and free medicine :laughing:

Oh we're all drunks too, that's what the single parenting pension is for :yes:

My XDP is claiming victim because he spent $16.50 once on DS's medication while he happened to have him with him (note: that is the one and only time he has spent money on DS, EVER). Oh man, have I not heard the end of this!!! He keeps going on about it. I just feel like screaming at him that I have recently spent two HUNDRED bucks on DS's allergy medications! He drives me nuts. Oh, but of course because I'm a mum who lives without DP I can afford it more than him :rolleyes:

MummaBear03

17-09-2009, 22:11

It's funny how some people think isn't it. can't be that we're just good with money and forego all life's luxuries to provide for our children on limited income, and we have to be super at time management too so we can fit it all in :)

LizzardLover

17-09-2009, 23:49

I get exactly the same thing regarding people thinking everything must be free/cheap just because i'm single mum and have been told how lucky she is to be able to do swimming, gymnastics AND little athletics.

Yes, lucky for my daughter i'm happy to go without new clothes or shoes for YEARS. The things i'm wearing are without a lie 5-6 years old. I know they look crappy, but they fit and dont have holes in they yet so I keep wearing them, that way my daughter CAN do sports like a "normal" kid. I go without so my daughter can wear the propper school uniform and not the "cheap" alternatives that all the other kids know mean your mum/dad cant afford anything else. I go without so that my daughter doesnt have to!

MummaBear03

18-09-2009, 07:46

Bec, my dauhter does all those as well, but with Little Athletics finished for the year I'm looking at getting both of us into self defense. No discount rates apply there either! Paying full price for both of us. In fact, there aren't too many things we do get a discount on. I pay what everyone else pays for insurances, the only way to get a discount on phone is if you are going through Telstra and even with the discount they're too expensive for me to go through, there's no discount on gas in NQ, only on natural gas which isn't available up here.

The funniest thing about it is that this woman has 3 kids at DD's school and pays $1/week more than I do in school fees because of the family discount. She also said she gets nothing free, so I asked her about the speech therapy, said I thought they were going through child health, didn't realise they charged, said how it should be free and it's wrong that they charge since it's a community health thing and she said they don't pay for speech therapy and the GP they see bulk bill for kids too which is good. I said she's lucky as there are no specialists in the public system trained in what DD's needs are, nor are there any GPs who bulk bill who understand it. She's seeing the GP on Monday and it's going to cost $145 for the visit, not sure of the rebate through medicare though, hopefully there will be one. She saw a paed for $215, went to Medicare for a rebate to find out this paed is fully out of pocket, no rebates available :eek: but the best paed for kids like DD. If there's nothing available through the public system, I have no choice but to go private and wear the expenses.

I've also just paid $450 for a specialist to go to the school and teach the teachers how handle her and reduce the anxiety and hopefully get these meltdowns limited, and lessen the severity of them.

SimplyMum

18-09-2009, 10:21

reAllytee

18-09-2009, 12:20

I really don't see the problem here. Don't you guys get the government funded bill payer? I just send my bills into centrelink and they pay them all for me! Yep- no working for me! No getting up at 5.30 for me. I just sit back and relax! :p

Yeah & then they buy you a Plasma !!!

Sorry just cant help throwing that one in everytime because it seems to be the thing to say to anyone receiving anything from the Govt. !!!!

I am lucky that G's Paed waives his fees for us but he did that while I was partnered anyways because G himself is on a HCC for his issues so thats still separate anyways ! But when it comes to a lot of the meds & stuff he is on while yes if its a prescription I get that cheap but his other stuff doesnt & I am paying that out weekly !!! Then when he sees the GI whilst we get some of that back I am still out of pocket !!!

I also laugh now that people seem to think I will get free childcare for as much as I want it etc ... Ummm no there are fees & all that jazz !!

Ahhh wells what can ya do !

PookieLady

18-09-2009, 13:38

Im wetting myself over here about the plasma :laughing:

I cant believe what some people say :no:

sweetseven

18-09-2009, 13:56

XH was always complaining about how broke he was, and that he didn't have any money (and no, he doesn't pay CS so he can't blame that on me either). He was constantly telling the children things along these lines, including riding a bike to work because he couldn't afford petrol. He was also constantly telling them about the huge amounts of money the government gives me to look after them, and encouraging them to ask me to buy them things all the time.

Then I went on hollidays to visit family over christmas, so the children stayed with him (because he wouldn't agree to them travelling also). To ensure they were able to get out and enjoy their hollidays, rather than staying cooped up in the house because their father was too broke, I handed over almost all the family payment for that timeframe (keeping a small amount towards the rent only). His response was "Is that all you get?" as he immediately spent the first fortnight's money on a lawnmower and skates for the girls, then complained that he wasn't sure if he had enough food to last. (I felt guilty that I had nothing left to give, but he managed to get through.)

Oddly however, he still continued to tell the children about how wealthy I was even after I returned, after seeing first hand how little I was working with.

MummaBear03

18-09-2009, 17:19

Im wetting myself over here about the plasma :laughing:

I cant believe what some people say :no:

I've had people over and told them we have a new TV. It's a 30cm TV that's about 15 years old, my mum recently upgraded hers and bought a large digital one for her bedroom, and they look at me like I'm nuts. They ask how we can see the screen, and what kind of a TV is that, it's something that belongs in a child's bedroom. I tell them we had no TV so my mum felt sorry for my daughter and brought that one down, DD isn't allowed one for her room. Told them I couldn't afford it anyway and was actually told that I should stop work and go onto full benefits because then I'd be able to afford a large TV :confused: I'm not sure how because I'd lose quite a bit of money doing that. Centrelink sure doesn't pay what equates to full wages, so why would I give up my wages? Centrelink literally ONLY covers my direct debits which do not include food, fuel, mobile, medical expenses, and all those times notes come home from school about excursions and incursions that we have to send money to school for. It doesn't cover the cost of clothing, shoes, haircuts, and it doesn't allow for us to have a home phone or internet on. In fact, on C'link alone I'd have to give up all forms of communication, leading to loneliness and isolation. Centrelink doesn't cover the cost of DD's therapy or all the sporting activities she is involved in.

crazymuma

18-09-2009, 21:57

Try being a single mum of 2 aboriginal children then!!

Honestly I cop it from everyone - including single (white) mothers

Some of the things I have heard

I get more money because my kids are dark - seriously you would be suprised how many single mums have said this to me :rolleyes:

I get free schooling/daycare for them - including uniforms and books once they start school

Apparently I get cheaper housing (wonder why I am paying private rent then)

I get yearly bonus payments from centerlink no one else gets (still waiting)

Free sports/uniforms etc

The best I have heard so far though (and have heard this from at least 8 different people) is that all aboriginal children are given free bikes :laughing:

All this plus our yearly plasma tv and free internet - makes you wonder why anyone would want to be in a relationship!!

MummaBear03

18-09-2009, 22:07

The best I have heard so far though (and have heard this from at least 8 different people) is that all aboriginal children are given free bikes :laughing:

I've heard everything else you've mentioned, but that takes the cake! OMG what are these people on???

Free uniforms, wouldn't that be nice! DD's uniforms are soooo expensive, and I've just had to buy her a new pair of school shoes because the other ones didn't quite last the year :(

It just really does upset me to think of how much we pay for everything, on a very small income, and people just brush it off like we don't make the effort and are given everything and they have no idea! They must be jealous because I've scored perfect work hours to fit around schooling and can manage to pay for everything we need, as well as lots of things that we simply want, on a gross income of $24,000 a year. They don't want to believe it's good budgeting, or sacrificing, they want to believe we get it all free.

The jeans I'm wearing right now were bought when DD was about a year old and they were purchased from an op shop. She's now 6. The shirt I'm wearing was a gift, one of many as my uncle is realistic because he used to be one of the managers at Centrelink and he buys me shirts every birthday and Christmas :goodvibes:

My other shirts are either clearance rack ones or from op shops, apart from work uniform shirts. They are also about 5 years old. Even my work shirts were bought when DD was 1.5 years old! No point getting new ones now, as ABC will no longer be in existence any time now.

*Need~More~Coffee~Please*

18-09-2009, 22:52

iamLilysmummy

18-09-2009, 23:51

hehe.. if theres freebies..

can i have some..

some people have no idea!!!

MummaBear03

18-09-2009, 23:57

Oh then there's the concept we live it up on our unfortunate ex's child support :laughing:

In 6 years, I've had DD's father offer $50, then take back the offer as he spent the money. What they often don't realise, is that those who get a decent amount then have it taken out of their FTB.

markskidsmum2

19-09-2009, 00:00

Mummabear03- you should have turned around and said 'why dont you get off your fat a**e and TAKE your kids for a 5km walk, or a bike ride yourself!'. The hide of her!

You know what i dont understand, why are we (or they i should say) so worried and measure everything with how much earnings people take in. WHO CARES! worry about what you can and cant afford, dont be jeleous over what someone else has! Im sure there are a few pleasures she could do without to involve her kids in that sort of thing. As mothers we sacrifice whatever we can to make sure our kids get what they want or need.

Thats my piece ;)
xx