do kids controll you

[Garysobers]

my daughter came and asked me if i could get her a lolly i said no so she said "well dad i hope you know that means YES" my eyes fell out of my head i said" no means NO" so she looks really smug and said " yes dad you say that know but you will say YES LATER" i thought you cheecky bugger
however a day later i bought some lollies and it was the same one she asked in the first place i didn"t realise until she said "see dad you said yes"
with a very smug look on her face.
My daugter is only 5or6 i forget but she psychs me out to much and she is very subtle she can be open when she wants something but if she is really wants it she gets it in the long run
my wife said "your a suck"isay i am not these kids i just way to smart these days and very cluey:wave: :)

[Mumshmum]

She will probably turn out to be a very savvy businesswoman

[nemosmum]

Firstly if you cant remember your dd's age then um yeah i think shes too cluey for you LOL:laughing: :rolleyes:

Secondly my dh is the same (not about the age thing:D ) but about the whacky parenting lol he doesnt follow through with the limits he sets and it frustrates the hell out of me! Co z our son is only just turning two and already he knows daddy's a push over...........so im the one left to be the bad cop all the time (very frustrating!)

I wish dh would grow some B**** LOL or something!:laughing:

Good luck with your dd!

[NZMama]

Im glad to see that Im not alone here. My daughter turns 6 in a week and she does a similar thing. Sometimes I think she knows me better than myself, calling me on different things :laughing:
Shes always been a type of negotiator. Even at 3 there was a situation where she had climbed onto a high swing at daycare and then decided she couldnt get down, she yelled for her carer who asked her how she got up there 'using the sponge stairs' was the response 'well how about you use the stairs to get off and I will help you so that next time you wont need me to help?' short contemplative silence 'but it would be alot quicker if you just get me down now' lol
Lately the negotiations have been about the toy sales......argh!
I cant wait till shes a teenager lol.

[whatwasithinking]

Im glad to see that Im not alone here. My daughter turns 6 in a week and she does a similar thing. Sometimes I think she knows me better than myself, calling me on different things :laughing:
Shes always been a type of negotiator. Even at 3 there was a situation where she had climbed onto a high swing at daycare and then decided she couldnt get down, she yelled for her carer who asked her how she got up there 'using the sponge stairs' was the response 'well how about you use the stairs to get off and I will help you so that next time you wont need me to help?' short contemplative silence 'but it would be alot quicker if you just get me down now' lol
Lately the negotiations have been about the toy sales......argh!
I cant wait till shes a teenager lol.
That's what my 3 1/12yr old is going through now too. aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhh

[Bubble*Crazy]

Shes always been a type of negotiator. Even at 3 there was a situation where she had climbed onto a high swing at daycare and then decided she couldnt get down, she yelled for her carer who asked her how she got up there 'using the sponge stairs' was the response 'well how about you use the stairs to get off and I will help you so that next time you wont need me to help?' short contemplative silence 'but it would be alot quicker if you just get me down now' lol
Lately the negotiations have been about the toy sales......argh!
I cant wait till shes a teenager lol.

Tayla's latest saying is "How about this for a deal ...".

And when she's not happy with something it's "No deal...".

Do you think TV has much of an influence??? :rolleyes: :laughing: :o :confused:

[kymmy]

I have found once a child turns 3 then they start to realise they can influence things.
My girl has power over her Dad almost like you say Gary.
I think she knows what she can get away with and uses it to her advantage.
My boy is now understanding he can influence things, and of course copies his older sister!:rolleyes:
I still think my girl is very demanding and always has been even as a baby.

[Sarie]

My three year old tries it, but the more he pesters the less likely it will happen. He knows his father is a softer touch than I am, so if he bugs me and I continually say no he'll go and ask his dad. To which I can normally hear and say I've already said no.
So he doesn't win.

[NZMama]

I have found once a child turns 3 then they start to realise they can influence things.

Are you sure that its 3? Because Im pretty sure it started in my household at birth....
Both of my daughters learnt very quickly what action creates a certain reaction.

[KarniF00l]

:laughing: @ not remembering you DD's age, that's hilarious although very typical :p

IMO i think it's when they start school, the kids learn off eachother and it's a 'faze' they go through. They try and push your buttons to see what they can milk out of you. I know this because DS#1 does this ALOT. He also tries to play me and DH against each other. Most times it doesn't work. As mumshmum said, she'll deffinatly make a savvy business woman some day.

[*My Lil Blondie*]

you cant remember her age??? men...:rolleyes:
any hoo my dsd has her daddy wrapped round her little finger!
her latest is when we try and sit her down for a talk about something serious we get a hand in the face and a "whatever"

she also says things like this

" welllllll how about we go buy that barbie i want and dad you can get a superman toy... hows that for a deal!"

kids lol....

[PhAnToM]

And THIS is why we can't use the reward system with DD and never could.
We used to reward her with a jelly snake when we started to toilet train her when she was 2yo.
She started to refuse going to the toilet so we'd say "if u go to the toilet, then i'll give u a snake"... which eventually turned into a Middle Eastern style negotiation.
She would say "you have to give me 2 spake!" We'd start the "no.. u go to the toilet and you get one snake, otherwise nothing."
In the meantime she is jumping up and down, but not going to the toilet and then demand payment upfront! :eek:
She would say "first you gimme spake, then i go." :banghead:
So we did away with the rewards.
No point. It was taking years off DH and my life span. :rolleyes:

We stand firm on things like that. We have always made a point that anything that is promised, we have to follow through with. Whether it's a good thing or a bad.. so she knows we mean business.
I have thrown out so many perfectly good toys cos i've told her if she does something bad, i would throw it out... and she tests me and out it goes.
We had tears yesterday morning cos i threw her watch in the bin. (I told her not to throw around... in protest for something unrelated, she threw it. So i picked it up and threw it in the bin. No more Nickelodeon watch! She dobbed on me to DH when he got out of the shower and he told her he would have done the same thing if it was him!) :D

Edited to add: DH had a laugh at you being hammered by the mothers for not remembering your DD's age. He said "things like that you should never add if you're not sure." LOL

[Starlet]

Oh Lut, I'm in the 'I'll give you a lolly if u use the loo' situation right now! ARGH! I wish I had never started that one.

My boys have me wrapped around their little fingers! They come and give me cuddles and kisses and just be plain old cute because they know that i'll cave. Have been getting better though, I just hate saying no to their little baby faces! DP is even worse, he's their stepdad, but they absolutely ADORE him. So I've had to toughen up a bit, that's for sure!

[NZMama]

Hmm one thing that I learnt from watching a friend of mine as far as the rewards thing or negotiation is that you always loose in order to keep your sanity. Well in her case anyway.
Her (at the time) 3yr old DS and 2yr old DD became accustomed to getting a new toy every time they went to a shop....so if it didnt eventuate then a tantie was thrown. She would cave for peace and quiets sake. Her response 'its just easier 'erm till the next time it happens and it will happen because you encourage it'.
If my DD wants something I will say no and explain why she cant have it. She understands that at least. Sometimes there may be a tear as she laments the lost toy but thats where it starts and ends....thankfully.
I think we underestimate a childs ability to understand why things happen a certain way. I have always explained to my DD why this has to happen or why she should put her toys away. Sometimes there is a treat at the end of the rainbow but not always. Unfortunately she has developed exceptional debating skills and now has the ability to think of other solutions lol.:rolleyes:
Your damned if you do and damned if you dont :banghead:
I prefer the negotiation to a screaming stubborn child though

[NZMama]

Edited to add: DH had a laugh at you being hammered by the mothers for not remembering your DD's age. He said "things like that you should never add if you're not sure." LOL

haha touche.......

[PhAnToM]

Oh Lut, I'm in the 'I'll give you a lolly if u use the loo' situation right now! ARGH! I wish I had never started that one.


:eek:
It's a no win situation! Bail while you can Starlet!

and

NZMama- you are absolutely correct. That's why I find myself refusing to give DD something or allowing her to do something (eg those rides at the supermarket) everytime she asks, because then it becomes a given. So sometimes I will just say "No not today. If you are good, next time we come, you may be able to.." And generally, if the next time we are there she has been well behaved, i follow through, just so she knows that I keep my promise. Saves me from having a screaming child who doubts my word. She knows if i say no, it means no. And if i say "probably next time" then it means unless she has been naughty, she will get her turn next time.

[kymmy]

I never give in to a screaming child.
I don't tolerate that.
I like to make deals with them though!

[kymmy]

Are you sure that its 3? Because Im pretty sure it started in my household at birth....
Both of my daughters learnt very quickly what action creates a certain reaction.


Yeah you are right there.
But I have found once my older have hit 3 the trouble really starts!
They realise they are there own person more so.