BF - Did Anyone Not Succeed With First Bub But Have Smooth-Sailing With The Second??

[MrsMiggins]

I had so many issues trying to BF DD that we ended up having to call it quits. Claire was on a bottle at 2 weeks, predominantly FF by 6 weeks & completely weaned by 3 months.

I would have desperately liked to BF her, but it just wasn't working out & after 4 weeks of 24/7 agony & 2 bouts of mastits, I decided it wasn't worth the trauma it was causing all of us.

I am determined to try again now that we are expecting #2 in March. I am planning on seeking the help of a lactation consultant (I didn't even know where to start looking for one last time before it was too late), but just wanted to know if there are other mums out there who couldn't successfully BF with their first child, but were successful with #2.

What issues made you stop BF the first time round? Did you have the same issues with #2? Was it just easier the second time? What did you do to succeed?

[the_queen]

My story is a bit unique - my DD had a cleft lip, so that was what caused our BFing challenges. But ultimately it was the same old story, she got used to the bottle of EBM, then prefferred that to the boob, then after surgery just refused the boob altogether, then I couldn't pump enough to keep up with her so started supplementing, which just dropped my supply even more, and she was on formula full time at 16-ish weeks old (can't remember exactly LOL).

This time around, 2 things are different:

a) I am SOOOO much more relaxed and confident in my mothering abilities. I feed him whenever he seems hungry, I'm not counting or timing feeds at all, I offered the boob pretty much every half hour in the first 2 weeks (even through the cracked-bleeding-nipple stage) and we're co-sleeping so night-time-feeds are easy and I haven't had any kind of sleep deprivation at all. Would LOVE a full-nights sleep, obviously, but in general I'm not overly tired. I'm taking multi-vitamins and resting whenever I can during the day, plus I'm not stressing about BFing or anything really, I'm just trying to be a cool cucumber :cool:

2) I have educated myself a lot more about BFing. I have joined the ABA. I have gotten advice from other BFing mums, not just ECHN's and MW's. I have not once thought "I'll try to BF but if it doesn't work out I won't be upset" - I have just always told myself "I will BF" and through all the problems in the early weeks I just kept looking for solutions that didn't involve formula, bottles, or anything to do with "not-BFing". Positive mindset, positive outcome. Even if there did turn out to be problems, almost nothing is insurmountable.



Good luck mate! :thumbsup: You can do it, I know you can!!!:yelclap:

[MrsMiggins]

Thanks Queen! Good advice!

So you got all the cracked & bleeding nipples this time? That was my major issue last time (as well as the reason for the mastitis), as DD just refused to latch on properly! Even the times I actully managed to get her on OK, she'd just pull straight back until she had only the nipple in her mouth, like it was too mcuh for her or something.

I guess I'm really nervous about getting the bleeding nipples/mastitis again. I know I've got to try to relax, but the memory of that pain is burnt into my memory!!

[the_queen]

I hear ya about the memory of that pain!!!

DD had a really soft suck, she tried really hard but because of the cleft she couldn't get a very good suction going, so I never had any nipple pain or anything with her.

This time, I was shocked and alarmed at how painful it really is!! But every BFing mum I've spoken to says that it's part of the "toughening up" process, and it does eventually get suddenly better. THat's what happened to me, I used the Lansinoh (go get yourself some of this NOW :D you can use it during pregnancy to get the nipples ready for BFing, and if they later on do get cracked, it soothes and heals them) and one day the feeding just didn't hurt anymore. Since then it's just become so natural and normal, it's easy peasy now! I literally do it with my eyes closed at night-time :laughing:

Get yourself a good Lactation Consultant, who will be able to help with attachment. All babies are different - but if this new one does the same thing as Claire, pulling backwards so she's chewing on the nipple, sometimes what helps is to put bub on, then once you get the letdown, take bub off and let the first bit of milk spurt out everywhere (have a towel handy!!), it will make your nipple not-so-big and can be easier for bub to attach properly. Having said all that, I'm definitely not a qualified LC, so you should get advice from one of them when the time comes.

:thumbsup:

[MrsMiggins]

Yep, I had the Lansinoh last time & it was good, but I think my poor nipples were so completely butchered within a few days, that I was beyond hope for the poor Lansinoh! She really did a number on me! I never knew just how bad it could get!

[the_queen]

Incorrect attachment can make it pretty bad, DS had great attachment and I still got cracks, so I can just imagine how horrible it was for you!!
You'll be right matey, keep a positive frame of mind and just start thinking of yourself as a BFing mum. IMO anyone who is passionate about BFing, whether they succeeded in the past or not, is a BFing mum. You should join the ABA, they are great and you'll have heaps of real-life support (not saying that bubhub isn't great! But it's good to have someone face to face to give you support)

:D

[MissBrightside]

The 2nd time around was sooooo much easier for me. As the queen said I to was much more relaxed and educated on how to bf. I perservered for 3 months with my 1st. I just had no idea what I was doing. 2nd time around it kinda just came naturally to me.
With the first I had sore boobs I didnt know when I should have been feeding him or how to latch him on properly. I sort of went with the every 4 hour thing but didnt really pick up on when he was hungry. I had to wear a nipple sheild with him cos my nipples werent big enough or some **** and were so sore!
I think the midwifes kinda put me off a bit cos they just came in whenever and just grabbed a boob and stuck him there not telling me what i should be doing. It really put me off. I knew i didnt want that to happen with my 2nd so I just kinda did it and didnt have any probs. Although I weaned him within a week due to a very stressful time regarding an entirely different matter. My milk just dried up.

But hopefully you will have an easier time this time around.:thumbsup:

[kymmy]

I think it does get easier as practice is important.
Breastfeeding is a practical thing - need to practice to get it right.
I remember with my girl it was hard work - my nipples were sore.
And I suffered at least a couple times with mastitus.
With my second child it was a little easier.
And then with third child, it was a breeze!
Apart from the initial stage - teaching baby to attach and dealing with after pains it has been much more easier and natural for myself.

[msiccita]

i had heaps of problems trying to BF my first son and the hospital didn't help.

i went to lactation consultants, you name it i tried it. My son was born at 10lb 3oz and i had trouble getting him to attach...even the nurses and everyone else couldn't get him to attach right.

I kept on trying, to a point where i made my nipples bleed. So after 2 weeks of pure hell, my son went straight on the bottle and he is now 3, full of life and healthy as ever....being bottle feed didn't make a difference.

With my second son, i tried to BF and it worked up to above six weeks, where all of a sudden, he didn't want the boob anymore and started to loose weight, so by 8 weeks he was fully on the bottle.

Everyone has different experiences, so my advice is do what suits you. Don't get worked up or stress your self out, because in my opinion it only makes things worse, as i believe the baby feels this.

i wish you the best of luck, whatever way you go.
:)

[meme]

hi ,
i think subscribing to ABA now, before you have your bub would be of great benefit. if you subscribe now before august you will get a copy of breastfeeding naturally, which is a great book on breastfeeding.
also if you can make it (and if you are into mums groups) come along to a meeting while you are pregnant, it's good to know where the help is, if you need it- but in a way,it's sorta prevention being better than cure, the more you can learn now and create that confidence in your ability to breastfeed , the easier it may be for you.

i found breastfeeding easier the 2nd time. i wasn't learning how to feed and becoming a mum for the first time. i knew what to expect in relation to the fact i would be tired and it was going to take some time to establish.
good luck with it.

[PhAnToM]

Absolutely much easier the second time around.

I had a cesar and couldn't go upstairs to bed for the first couple of weeks so DH set up the baby monitor next to me so i could call him if i needed anything at night.
The number of times her heard me crying in pain through the night trying to bf DD. He even went out one of the nights (around 2 in the morning) to find somewhere to buy formula.
I was adamant about giving it a go, but between my stress, the pain (and the vicious cycle between these 2, plus the DD obviously sensing my stress)... then we had reflux thrown in to the equation at 2 weeks, just to seal the deal. So I expressed every feed possible, but it soon became supplementing FF with EBM. DD would never latch (i wasn't keen on her attempts either). At 5.5 months the supply had windled so much, that even the hospital breastfeeding clinic couldn't do anything to help.

But I must say, the first hospital (after delivery) should take much of the blame for the poor bf experience. They put sooo much pressure to bf. Not at ALL open to a mother who wanted to bf but was struggling. i had a nurse who dug her nails into me when DH stepped outside and yelled at me (i kid you not!) like a school teacher, telling me I HAD to do it. Needless to say, that was not the hospital i went to for my second delivery.

The second hospital was great. When i went to book I made it clear that my intention was to try to bf, but i did not want any pressure and if i decided it wasn't working, then yes, i would be FF. They were fantastic and DS was like a pro.
I did have mastitis a few times, but nothing like the first time. Yes I had sore nipples, but not bleeding like it was with DD (except when he got his first tooth... :eek: ) My theory is DD was given the choice to wean when she wanted to and she did it at 5.5 months, so DS has the same opportunity. He will be weaned when he weans himself. I don't think that will ever happen to be honest. But he is 7 months now, and I didn't have nearly as much stress and grief as i did with DD. DS has refused formula and doesn't even care for EBM from a bottle. He wants the real deal and he has been so great, that I have no problem allowing him to.

I think like the other ladies have said, more confidence when you're a second time mum and i didn't allow anyone into shaming me or intimidating me into BF when i was struggling.

I honestly think if you don't have the pressure on you (by others or yourself) you will do much better this time MrsM! :thumbsup:

[MrsMiggins]

This is really great reading everyone's advice & experiences! I do feel now that it can be done, I have been quite nervous about it. I guess I just assumed that it would always be difficult, so here's hoping next time round will be easier!

I'm so glad I posted this thread!

Anyone else who has stories or advice, please please feel free to continue posting!!

[holly]

Mrs Higgins, my story is similar to yours, my bub is now 4.5 weeks old and I had to stop exclusively BFing at 2 weeks because of severe damaged nipples, the pain was incredible and every feed was agony. I decided to stop and express plus FF until my nipples healed. That took 2 weeks and I am now getting back into ofering the breast to her in between feeds. Hoping we can go full circle and fully BF again. Only problem now is I'm nopt sure how much breastmilk she is getting so bottle feeding amounts is hit and miss.

I really do understand your pain though, so many people are quick to say muster through it and keep on BFing. Even my midwife at the early childcare clinic took one look at my boobs and said I did the right thing and to be proud of it.

Do what you think is right for you and your bub. A happy healthy relaxed mum means a happy bub.

[ArnaNZ]

Hi guys,

I have to say it's been really nice reading about your BF situations. My DS is now 4 months old and has been mostly formula fed over the last month and supplemented with the boob. Since he was born I'd not had any problems with him in terms of attachment but the universe seemed to conspire against us when he turned 3 months old. I suffered from a strong bout of depression where my boob milk basically dried up over night and he ended up getting a really bad flu that sent him to hospital for a week, during which time he couldn't feed from me. We started formula feeding him as pumping for me was so hard with almost nothing coming out. He's so happy and has just been thriving especially since recovering from his flu. And I'm in a great place - have sorted myself out emotionally, started back at work 1 day a week and have also joined a gym for the first time ever! Creating something for myself has been the best thing. Now of course that I'm in this great place and feeling the way that I had always hoped I'd feel after he was born I really want to get back into breastfeeding my boy. Of course now he's so used to the bottle it's really hard to get him to realise that I can provide for him too. I guess it's all about letting go at the right time and I'm thinking that if things aren't picking up by the end of next week I'll let it go. I guess at least then I can say that I really tried my best.
It's taking a lot of committment though - I'm feeling a bit like a cow in the shed during the milk run!!!! :)
It'll be nice to know what to expect for the next bubba now I guess especially with the emotional side.
Anyway - just wanted to say that it's nice to know that it's not just me going through all the stuff.

Oh and I'm with the ABA and they've been fantastic with their advice!!!

Arna

[MumsieMel]

ME!!!!! :yes:

I couldnt BF DS any longer than 2 weeks, but went on the sucessfully BF DD for 6 mths!!! :yelclap:

[stilldreaming]

Its the complete opposite for me. I bf Cooper until he was 8 months old and then he just wasn't interested any more. With him I only had the usual sore nipples for the first week or 2.
Abbey is now 12 weeks old and I am still have major dramas. I have seen a lactation consultant who couldn't find too much wrong just some minor positioning problems. Now she rips my nipples when she comes off, just clamps downs and pulls. I have had a blister for the last week on one which is still cracking at every feed. I am trying to express as well to give it a break but its not convenient all the time with a busy toddler.
I have been so close to giving up soooo many times but just keep plugging on. She is just doing so well.........................pity I'm so sore:crying: