why does she love them?

[bumMum]

I find myself wondering why someone in my life loves the people she loves. I find it so annoying these days that I have pretty much cut contact with her, and I hate myself for that. I am not good at dealing with peoples weaknesses, which is silly, because we all have weaknesses. Her ex is abusive, but she feels this weird need to keep him in her daughters life. .. her entire family is unemployed.. they are always talking about these big holidays they go on together.. the entire extended family included.. I think "holiday from what?" it ****s me they are all welfare dependant and dont care. I realize I received centrelink, but I didn't want to be in that situation and have worked really hard to not to be... and it's not like her family is made up of single mothers.. these people are in their fourties and fifties and their children are grown up... I feel horrible about my attitude. I feel disgusted when she says good things about people around her because all I can see is that they are useless.. it's ridiculous, because I would hate someone to look at me or my family that way.. I find it hard to understand her bond with them.. even though they are her family.
help me, feeling guilty..

[NonnyMouse]

Wow. No advice here sorry, other than to say there's probably a good reason why you feel guilty for dumping so thoroughly on someone in your life because they love their family and want to keep their child's father in contact. Sometimes we can't understand or agree with the choices of others, but that's ok, because it's their life they're choosing to lead, not ours.

[bumMum]

Wow. No advice here sorry, other than to say there's probably a good reason why you feel guilty for dumping so thoroughly on someone in your life because they love their family and want to keep their child's father in contact. Sometimes we can't understand or agree with the choices of others, but that's ok, because it's their life they're choosing to lead, not ours.

I probably feel guilty because i'm absolutely sure I hated it when people did this to me.. I know it's her life..maybe I just wish I could tell her what I think, but I know it's wildly inappropriate and unfair.. and I would probably slap someone if they told me something just to get it off their chest.. I think I just care a lot about her as well. and her daughter. and I worry about them so much at times.

[missie_mack]

I have found that some people just cannot be helped and will never change. Unfortunately its not uncommon for people in this predictament to breed people who will follow in their example.
I have found too often these people just lead to a toxic environment for others and it may be best to move on or limit contact.. sadly...