No baby experience but expecting?

[Laurens 1st]

Hey, dont know where to ask this but here goes..

Does any 1st time parents out there not know anyone with children or never really had much experience with babies/children? Do other peoples children give you panic attacks?

I have no babies or toddlers close to me. So Im feeling like I dont have much experience, I dont know what to expect. Im wondering if that even matters in the end? :confused:
I have a 5 year old brother who was adopted into another family. Ive seen him a couple times a year since he was born. But it always felt like another families baby. I couldnt get too close (for adoption reasons as well as emotional reasons). I dont know how to relate to him.
I was also 6 and 7 years old when my other brother and sister were born. So I dont really remember what its like to have a baby/toddler/child around.

Can anyone relate?

[Lastcenturymum]

Hi Lauren,:wave: I don't think you need to be too worried - sometimes it can only confuse you if you hear everyone's point of view. Being a parent is very much 'on the job' training and even if there was a manual, no baby has read it! They are all so different. I didn't change a nappy till I was about 6 months pregnant when I babysat my neice (a disaster and did nothing for my confidence!) I had friends with bubs about 6 months ahead of mine, so I was able to ask questions, but you can ask lots here about what to do and products and stuff. Pre birth classes will help you learn a lot as well as hospital staff should be able to give you lots of information and help, if not, ask! A mothers group is a great idea as well.

Don't stress, so many others have been in that 'what have I done/what am I doing' state. For some, mothering comes more easily and others muddle along, but we are here to lend support and offer advice :thumbsup:

[elleandsam]

Before our baby dh had never even held a baby before much less cared for one and he is a great parent. I wouldn't worry too much, I think too much experience with babes prior to having your own isn't necessarily a good thing as you might have expectations of how this little person is meant to be.

[jaq]

I held a baby for the very first time when I was six months pregnant with Annika; we used to joke that my neighbour got pregnant just so that I could have a practice baby!

I read everything about parenting I could get my hands on (Robin Barker's Baby Love was my bible) and did a 6 week antenatal course as well. Really, though, its impossible to grasp until you have a newborn in your arms, and it was the nurses at the hospital that taught me how to change a nappy, bath a baby, breastfeed etc.

They give you the basic information and lots of support, and you just muddle through. It actually helped bring me and my husband closer together as we braved the mechanics of it all ... he was the detail man, I would research with the big concepts!

And of course, you have BH :goodvibes: There is no question too silly or too minor, and if you just search, they've probably all been asked before.

Have a wonderful pregnancy!

[Wookie1]

As a first time mum with young nieces and experience with school age children. I thought I had a head start. But it is all completely different when you come home on your own and do it for yourself. You learn everyday and it is challenging, just try and make sure you have plenty of friends and family on the end of the phone or nearby to help lend a hand.

There is no hiding that its tough but each day brings it rewards. DS is now smiling and making noises and beginning to grasp toys.

Good Luck!! :flowerz:

[JosieJo]

I'd seen and held my nephew for a total of 10 mins in my life, had no friends with children. I read a great variety of baby books incl What do Expect... Up The Duff and a few others. I found it came quite naturally, and I worried about nothing.

[MumNeedsCoffee]

Don't worry :)

I discovered that you really don't know anything about babies until you have your own.
And all the mums I know agree.

I thought I had an advantage, as I have 3 nephews who I have spent alot of time with. Including babysitting a 3 month old overnight and for most of the day.

But I just got confused in the beginning thinking I should be doing things differently because of the way things had been done with the other babies. And it got so much better when I followed my own instincts and started to tune into what my DD wanted.

I know a nanny who looked after young babies but still with one of her own goes to other mums for advice.

And I laugh every time I think about a friend who has spent lots of time with babies and always loves to give me advice. I was still in hospital with my newborn and she asked me how I was, I told her that DD had been up all night feeding. She told me that is just not right and I need to get her into a routine and I need to teach her that I am in charge. Really doesn't apply with a baby of 2 days old.

There are parenting helplines that you can call anytime of the day or night.
I kept the numbers on my fridge and called often in the early days to ask all sorts of questions,

Maternal & Child Health Service ph: 13 22 29
24hr parenting helpline
http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/../../images/blankspace.gif
Parentline ph: 13 22 89
24hr parenting helpline

Good luck and best wishes for your first baby!

[little bean]

Don't worry - you'll be fine!:yes: I had only held a baby 4 times and never changed a nappy when my DD came along.

I was always worried about holding other people's babies the "wrong way" but without somebody watching over my shoulder (with my own baby) I felt much more confident. The nurses will show you how to change a nappy and bathe the baby. It's really not hard - you'll feel comfortable after a day or two and your baby won't know you've never done it before!!:flowerz:

[LittleBug'sMum]

Don't stress:)!
It is so different when it is your own baby anyway. I had never changed a nappy until my bub was born, was the youngest in my family, and none of my friends have babies.
It is a big learning curve, but you should get plenty of support while in hospital, and then from the MCHN when you're home.
Read a couple of books, I read Kaz Cookes Kidwrangling and found it helpful.
You'll be fine, and there is alot of support out there if you find you need it.

[lizzymcfizzy]

HI

I'm the same, never had any experience whatsoever until I had my own baby.

I won't lie it was hard to start with but you learn really quick and it didn't take me long to become the proud parent who got asked by other mums what to do!

Like one of the other girls suggested, do the breastfeeding class (offered by the breast feeding association) and prenatal classes offered by the hospital and read a few baby books.

I learnt alot in hospital after I had my baby on how to change a nappy (first time I even put on back to front! LOL), how to bath her, how to feed her and so on. they give you lots of info.

Oh and a midwife usually visits you once or twice at home to see how you are getting on. If you are breastfeeding I found the ABA's helpline a godsend. And my local early childhood nurse. I learnt alot from her.

don't stress, after all YOU are the boss and everything you do with your baby is your decision. Often there is no right or wrong, its just 'your way' :)

[Boobycino]

I worked in childcare in a nursery and my own son still freaked me out a little in the beginning, so thats normal too if it doesn't just feel normal and natural instantly.

Its an altogether different thing having your own child, particularly when you have 9 months of bonding under your belt. And when that newborn baby looks up at you with complete love and devotion its difficult not to get caught up in their confidence in you.

When bub had his first bath - at the hospital he was 'borrowed' for a parenting craft demonstration for pregnant mummas and it was the first time he'd been out of my arms since he was born 2 days beforehand and he cried and cried and cried while he was being bathed and it was pretty horrific for me. But the moment she handed him back to me he stopped and gazed into my eyes and went totally calm and relaxed that was a defining moment because he didn't want this midwife and baby expert to hold him, he just wanted me. even though i was slightly panicked and feeling totally clueless, I was (and still am) all he wants and needs.

Cant help but get a bit swept away by that feeling.

[kiki07]

There have been some great suggestions already about things to read and classes, so i won't repeat but another helpful thing is having other people to talk to when bub is here. Check out what there is in your community. Do you have a maternal and child health clinic? Does your local library have reading sessions? Play groups, mothers groups... Your little one may not be interested for awhile, but they can be great places for you to find other people going through similar things.

[becster05]

Hey, dont know where to ask this but here goes..

Does any 1st time parents out there not know anyone with children or never really had much experience with babies/children? Do other peoples children give you panic attacks?

I have no babies or toddlers close to me. So Im feeling like I dont have much experience, I dont know what to expect. Im wondering if that even matters in the end? :confused:
I have a 5 year old brother who was adopted into another family. Ive seen him a couple times a year since he was born. But it always felt like another families baby. I couldnt get too close (for adoption reasons as well as emotional reasons). I dont know how to relate to him.
I was also 6 and 7 years old when my other brother and sister were born. So I dont really remember what its like to have a baby/toddler/child around.

Can anyone relate?

I can look after my baby because we have learnt and grown together so I understand her needs now. You can only do that by actually doing it though! and trust me, it does come naturally... OMG, I would be scared out of my wits to look after somebody elses baby though!! I am sure I could get through it, but oh lordy!!! :doh:

[bronny-jane]

when i had my 1st i didnt even know how to change a nappy, im talking disposables:laughing:.. i had to get a lady in the next room to show me how:D..

[SassyMummy]

Yeah, I had no experience with babies. I never held them for fear of dropping them/hurting them. I didn't really feel comfortable with babies or young children.

I was fine with my own though. I dunno, it was just fairly easy to pick up. I was shown how to change a nappy, to wash her and to feed her. After that, it was easy enough. Pregnancy and baby books helped me too - I massaged my baby regularly, for example, and she really loved it.

She loves me to bits.

I'm still weird with other peoples' kids, but my own is different.

[Lil M]

Hey, dont know where to ask this but here goes..

Does any 1st time parents out there not know anyone with children or never really had much experience with babies/children? Do other peoples children give you panic attacks?

I have no babies or toddlers close to me. So Im feeling like I dont have much experience, I dont know what to expect. Im wondering if that even matters in the end? :confused:
I have a 5 year old brother who was adopted into another family. Ive seen him a couple times a year since he was born. But it always felt like another families baby. I couldnt get too close (for adoption reasons as well as emotional reasons). I dont know how to relate to him.
I was also 6 and 7 years old when my other brother and sister were born. So I dont really remember what its like to have a baby/toddler/child around.

Can anyone relate?

I can TOTALLY relate to you, I am expecting my first in Nov & have no idea. I'm an only child so have no brothers or sisters with kids. I moved here from the uk 2 years ago & have not made any friends yet & have no family here either. None of my friends back in the uk had kids. I've always been terrified of holding other people's babies!! I'm sure I'll muddle through though! I'm really glad I came accross bub hub actually. Also, hopefully I'll make some friends through Mothers groups when I have bub who will have experience & advise.:yelclap: