Looking for some advice I think...

[kabailz13]

I'm currently looking into both egg donation and gestational surrogacy and have some questions.

Mainly to do with surrogacy.......

What sorts of things are considered to be 'given'?

is it considered a given that I would deliver in a hospital with an OB? (or is this negotiable?)
analgesia in labour? (epidural etc or none)
what about antenatal testing?
ultrasounds?
Group B strep swabs?
Diabetes testing?
starting weight an issue? (I'm on the chunky side but plan on losing some weight before starting the GS journey)

I'm asking because I had my last baby at home as a waterbirth in our dining room and it absolutely loved the experience.

I had no analgesia, chose which testing I would have during my pregnancy (educated myself in regards to risks and likelihood of developing issues and their associated symptoms/signs) and declined some 'routine' testing.

Now, I completely understand that alot of these things would be up to the IPs but I suppose I was looking to see if what I am thinking about offering would be desired....

My husband (lovingly) called me his hippy wife in the lead up to our home waterbirth and that is truly what I encompassed with minimal intervention and our midwife even ended up missing the birth by about half an hour lol

I am thinking that within the next few years, I would love to give someone else the chance at parenthood and even a somewhat 'normal' view on what pregnancy and childbirth can be (hoping that doesn't offend anyone as it is truly not my intention).

[lulululu]

Being pregnant I'm not actually looking for a surrogate, but I have a couple of friends who are expecting their son soon with the assistance of their surrogate friend, and I know they are keen to be at the birth and to hold the baby first, but they're really respectful of the womans wishes and grateful for the incredible gift she is giving them. I think everything is negotiable, rather than 'given' in this situation. Pre-natal testing, for example, needs discussion around what happens if abnormalities are found? I know if I was expecting a baby by a surrogate I would also feel the pregnancy was hers to manage as she wished, and although I'd be keen to be involved and informed as much as she felt comfortable with, the big decisions such as where and how to give birth etc should be the surrogates alone. To give the gift of a child is so amazing, indeed I cant think of a more incredible gift. I'm sure no matter what your choices and preferences you'd find many people willing to gratefully receive your gift. Good on you for considering such a generous and thoughtful act. :thumbsup:

[WorkingClassMum]

**bump**

:wave:

[lulululu]

Excuse my ignorance, I've seen the *bump* while reading through other threads, but I have no idea what it means... :confused:

[Corlz]

Lol - Lululu, WCM is just bumping it up so the OP can hopefully get some more responses and advice :D:yes:

None of which i have OP, sorry :o

[lulululu]

Thanks for that clarification. Now I'm wondering what OP means... I hesitated to ask as I feel like a bit of a fool, but I figured if the idea is to bump up the numbers at least another silly question will do that :o I guess it somehow refers to kabailz but what does it stand for?

[Corlz]

Lol, OP = Original Post/er, to my knowledge anywho :yes:

[lulululu]

Thanks Corlz!

[sophie11]

Hi there,
Currently investigating myself into GS.

I too had 3 natural births (2 water)with no intervention...but they were in a birth centre.

These are things you need to be able to decide on and discuss with your IP. Ultimatly it is their baby but you need to know what you are comfortable as well.

I know I would prefer as little intervention as possible but everything on standby as a live, healthy baby is #1.

i believe it is all part of the getting to know your IPs and working with them, as apposed to 'for' them, IYKWIM :yes: