View Full Version : Could you go a whole day without saying, "NO" to your child/ren??
FiveInTheBed
11-09-2009, 19:09
:detective:... Just curious...maybe even setting a challenge :D
Do you think you could go a WHOLE day without using the word ''NO"??
Jax Tellers Old Lady
11-09-2009, 19:11
I highly doubt it:laughing:
MummasPrinces
11-09-2009, 19:11
haha in a single word - no! :o:laughing:
WorkingClassMum
11-09-2009, 19:14
What? :no:
Given I am currently repeating "no - it's sleep time" as the 2yo pounds on her bedroom door ... probably not!
~Temet Nosce~
11-09-2009, 19:18
I could.. but it would only be replaced with... don't... stop that... uh uh... don't do that.. can't.. etc etc.
pffft in the end they all mean the same thing, and no is bound to slip out I reckon :laughing: so I'm going to change my answer... NO!!
crazymuma
11-09-2009, 19:18
NO
not even going to attempt it - thats just too much stress for me :D
Mathermy
11-09-2009, 19:19
There's other words?:confused::o
No I still have small children, so it's often use in a safety way IYKWIM. I use it less on the older children. I'm a great believer in children need to hear the word NO and not get everything they want.
Boobycino
11-09-2009, 19:21
:laughing:
Yeah... well...
My son is only 10 months old. I ticked, 'i'd be willing to try' but honestly, that was the diplomatic answer!
I'd say more than like NO!
He's constantly being a cheeky bum! I wouldn't be surprised if his first words were "no bubba"
Probably, we try to use uh-uh instead or stop for really bad stuff.
:iagree: I clicked no, but I counted that I would use "umah" "uh uh" and other alternitives that I use instead lol. Trick question/answer :laughing:
Mrs Nietzsche
11-09-2009, 19:33
Why would I want to?
*shudders*
sam's mum
11-09-2009, 19:49
I try not to say no.
we just end up with - Sammy, that's not very nice.
Sammy, we don't jump on our sister's head.
things still get phrased in a negative unfortunately, I do try (and mainly succeed) in having the positives outweigh the negatives.
"Annika, please don't jump out of the tree" doesn't have the same impact :D
I try, and try, and try, to be positive with them, and I do agree its a much better approach, but with those scary/dangerous things, nothing works better than "no"! (Though I have been experimenting with "freeze!")
BabelFish
11-09-2009, 19:58
Probably not. Children need to hear negatives occasionally, and `no' is just one of those words that needs to be used sometimes.
If she's about to chew on a power cord, I'll say `no' - but mostly we try to say `stop'. Not because I'm scared of my child ever being told it can't do something it wants, but because I think if you hear enough of the same word you tend to switch off.
So, if necessary, my DD will hear a combination of `no', or `stop' or `we don't _______'.
But yeah she sometimes hears something she doesn't want to hear - I want my children to grow up well-rounded and used to the occasional disappointment or sometimes told that they can't have / do whatever they want.
sunflowermummy
11-09-2009, 19:59
not a chance, I have 3.5yr old twins who's middle names should be NO :laughing:
WorkingClassMum
11-09-2009, 20:03
I try to do a three phased thing...
"Mummy, can I have ice cream for dinner?"
"Sweetie, ice cream is a treat food. Just eat your dinner, and we'll see after dinner"
"Mummy, I want icecream for dinner"
"We are not having ice cream for dinner, I have cooked dinner already and that's what we're having"
"But I waaaaaaaaaaant ice cream"
"NO!"
"Umm Mummy can I have Ice Cream after dinner?..."
and so on it goes...
sam's mum
11-09-2009, 20:07
this afternoon as we left daycare DH had gone into the supermarket and so I was by myself with the two kids. I told the kids to stay on the footpath while I opened the car. DS started to follow me off the kerb. My hand went up into the air and I said 'stay'. another person was walking past and gave me 'a look'. meh
BabelFish
11-09-2009, 20:08
I will always try to reason with and explain things to my kids, to hear them and validate them and encourage them. But there are times when I am Mummy and they are children and they don't need a reason. If they need to hear `no' sometimes they need to hear it. And it's that simple!
WorkingClassMum - that is hilarious!! :D
FiveInTheBed
11-09-2009, 20:16
I am going to try and go a day without saying the 'word' NO...I will be getting the message across in other ways - I agree the word 'no' is one that is needed in a person's vocabulary...I just find the conversation flows in a differnent direction and with a different vibe when I don't use the word 'no' straight up.
I have a four year old and two almost three year olds, so it will be tricky - but I'm gonna attempt it to see how the day changes.
Chunkydunks
11-09-2009, 20:29
I reckon on the last saturday in october I'd have a pretty good chance.........I'll be in Nelligen and he'll be at home with DH :laughing::laughing::laughing:
Other than that I don't think I'd stand a chance.
Possibly. It's not something I pay much attention to because I don't simply just say 'no.' There is always an explanation follwing my no.
Blueberry Crumble
11-09-2009, 20:35
Do we get to replace it with something? Like "I dont think so" or "not today"?
Because children NEED to hear no. Otherwise shopping trips with my son would be mega sugar binges for him!! ANd he would never go to bed!
nothanksbye
11-09-2009, 20:42
NO CHANCE .
I would not even set it as a challenge I just know i would fail.
sockstealingpoltergeist
11-09-2009, 20:44
Sure could, I do it all the time.
MummaBear03
11-09-2009, 20:56
I don't think so, but will give it a go tomorrow since it's a weekend. Usually the day starts like this:
"Mum is it a school day today?"
"Yes honey, get your uniform on thank you."
"I hate school, can I stay home today?"
"No, you have to go to school. I've got your uniform ready."
"Can I go to work with you?"
"No."
"Pleeeeeeease?!?! I'll do photocopying for you!"
"No, here's your uniform!"
So by 6:30am how many times has "No" been said? And that's before we start with the breakfast routine!
Could be different tomorrow, I'll have to see how she is with the puppy, usually there are lots of opportunities for "No" to be said when she's playing with the dog. Since it's a fun day tomorrow and we've got lots on, it may just be possible if I limit the "No" situations before we encounter them.
mum2bubba
11-09-2009, 21:23
No. :laughing::no:
NonnyMouse
11-09-2009, 21:49
I could - easily. I was never a "no"mum.... more of a "that's not a good idea" or "do you think you should be doing that?" etc. Plus I used a lot of "uh uh", and the occasional playful "grrrrrr" if she was doing something she oughtn't.
I save no for the dangerous things like fingers in power points, and my all time personal favourite - fingers heading towards the cats bum! (You had to be there! LOL)
I could with Julian
I could with gabriel
I could with just O or J
...
But with all 4... not on your life.
I think it gets harder the older they get and the more children you have.
FiveInTheBed
11-09-2009, 22:04
I could - easily. I was never a "no"mum.... more of a "that's not a good idea" or "do you think you should be doing that?" etc. Plus I used a lot of "uh uh", and the occasional playful "grrrrrr" if she was doing something she oughtn't.
I save no for the dangerous things like fingers in power points, and my all time personal favourite - fingers heading towards the cats bum! (You had to be there! LOL)
yep...that's kinda what I'm getting at - especially turning the question around to them - getting them to think about what they are doing and giving them the chance to assess the risk or consider the consequence.
LOL! at the cat's bum - eeeeew!
I had to pull my DP up the other day, after listening to him say repeatedly...'no, no, no, no ,no hey, no no , i just told you no!!' ...seriously the no was just like :ecomcity: -- totally lost it's meaning. I suggested he try offering direction rather than just saying 'no' ALL the time.
FiveInTheBed
13-09-2009, 20:36
well I lasted til 9.30am on saturday!
and managed to get to lunchtimish today!
:p
sockstealingpoltergeist
13-09-2009, 20:42
Good work, it's hard because it's so ingrained in us to say it.:)
I get past that by letting DS do everything he wants.;)
workin'mumof2
13-09-2009, 20:46
believe it or not i could with seth, but not with ruby..
seth responds more to dont. or uh uh. or
"OMG LOOK HERE" :laughing: distraction:p
FiveInTheBed
13-09-2009, 20:50
Good work, it's hard because it's so ingrained in us to say it.:)
I get past that by letting DS do everything he wants.;)
I'm gonna keep trying (was hard this weekend - DD and I aren't 100% and DS1 &Ds2 aren't far behind us - so my patience level is low:()
I'm hoping that it lessens the number of 'NOs' I hear (sometimes with an accompanying stomping of right foot!!)..from them. Not saying I want them to 'do as I say' ALL the time...I would just like to hear them express their feelings a little more. you know - converse with me:D
delirium
13-09-2009, 20:53
LOL no, not my my 2 year old :laughing::dizzy:
Sheer Bliss
13-09-2009, 20:54
I don't think there is a chance! I'd like to try it, but somehow I don't have much hope i'd succeed.
I do try to go with, please don't do that, Stop hitting please, get off her, Get OFF her, she is a baby, Nick WILL YOU JUST GET OFF YOUR SISTER, go to the corner. And is quickly followed with No, you may not come out yet. can I come out yet. NO! LOL. I'm a mean mum, and my fues is far too short ATM. It will lengthen again one day....won't it???
FiveInTheBed
13-09-2009, 21:00
I don't think there is a chance! I'd like to try it, but somehow I don't have much hope i'd succeed.
I do try to go with, please don't do that, Stop hitting please, get off her, Get OFF her, she is a baby, Nick WILL YOU JUST GET OFF YOUR SISTER, go to the corner. And is quickly followed with No, you may not come out yet. can I come out yet. NO! LOL. I'm a mean mum, and my fues is far too short ATM. It will lengthen again one day....won't it???
your not a mean mum!! you are a mum that has had to divvy herself up between some gorgeous, but demanding and energetic kiddies (that I love snaggling btw:p) that LOVE each other ALOT!! :laughing:
Yes :yes:
Unless we are going somewhere unusually dangerous like walking through a busy car park etc.
I try to only use no and stop for when I really mean it and need him to stop/not touch for safety reasons, around cars/water etc.
Because our whole house and yard is child proofed I don't need to use those words at home, or at the park either :).
With DS being non verbal he cannot argue back or ask why, and with trying to teach him signs I don't want to be making the no sign all the time :no:.
And if the first sign he made was no I would be mortified :o.
Not a big fan of using negatives around children all day long.
Mathermy
14-09-2009, 09:31
Alright! You lot shamed me into giving it a go!:laughing::p
I just don't see how it's going to work for us, when already this morning we have had
DD "May i have fairy sprinkles on my breakfast?"
Me-no, sprinkles are a sometimes food, we need to choose healthy foods for breakfast
DD" May I have a drink of that?" (points to the caramel topping"
Me-No, that is for icecream and we aren't having icecream right now it's 6.30!
DD"Is that Daddy's boyfriend?"
Me-LMAO, no that's daddy's friend who is a boy but daddy loves mummy
and yesterday we had
DD-Can the baby drink from my boobies?
Me-if you like
DD-Mine aren't big can she drink out of your big boobies?
Me-No, mine are all dried up!
and every now and again she says
"do you speak spanish mum?'
Me-no
DD-"Can we go on a plane and visit Dora so she can teach you spanish?"
Me-no
And my favourite
"does nanna fart mummy?"
"yes she probably does"
"that's bad manners and I am going to tell her"
"No, you can't say that to Nanna":o
Mathermy
14-09-2009, 09:45
BTW I think I can safely admit to failing in the parenting vocabulary stakes fairly early on
Her first word was Dadda
second was Mumma
third was BUGGER! (cept it sounded like Budder so most people didn't catch on:o)
and her first sentence was "don't touch"
For shame!
So i won't be receiving any parenting awards any time soon, but I'm going to do my darndest to try your little experiment and see how long it takes me to launch myself of the verandah! :p
I think age is a huge factor. Though in saying that DD1 has never needed to be told NO to often.
But for those who have to say NO 100 times a day, I dont think its a bad thing. Wether or not your children listen is the issue.
crazymuma
14-09-2009, 12:49
Alright! You lot shamed me into giving it a go!:laughing::p
I just don't see how it's going to work for us, when already this morning we have had
DD "May i have fairy sprinkles on my breakfast?"
Me-no, sprinkles are a sometimes food, we need to choose healthy foods for breakfast
DD" May I have a drink of that?" (points to the caramel topping"
Me-No, that is for icecream and we aren't having icecream right now it's 6.30!
DD"Is that Daddy's boyfriend?"
Me-LMAO, no that's daddy's friend who is a boy but daddy loves mummy
and yesterday we had
DD-Can the baby drink from my boobies?
Me-if you like
DD-Mine aren't big can she drink out of your big boobies?
Me-No, mine are all dried up!
and every now and again she says
"do you speak spanish mum?'
Me-no
DD-"Can we go on a plane and visit Dora so she can teach you spanish?"
Me-no
And my favourite
"does nanna fart mummy?"
"yes she probably does"
"that's bad manners and I am going to tell her"
"No, you can't say that to Nanna":o
Your daughter sounds like she would be so much fun to hang out with!!
Mathermy
14-09-2009, 12:52
Your daughter sounds like she would be so much fun to hang out with!!
She is certainly a "character";):laughing:
I think it's partly her age, the world is a pretty fun and interesting place when you are 5! The possibilities seem endless. Then you get old and cranky:o
SassyMummy
14-09-2009, 13:49
Unless I wanted to spend all of my money on junk food and toys... spend my whole day doing nothing but colouring and singing... feed DD junk food all day... have her stay up all night long... watch cartoons all day... etc etc... then no, I couldn't go without saying no.
I say no all the time. I have stuff to do... I can't do everything she wants. Plus, I'd rather not deal with her after she eats every bit of unhealthy food we have in the house... because lord knows that's what she'd do!
tanikasmum
14-09-2009, 13:59
how funny i had just said to my 2 1/2 yr old NO don't touch the computer as i read thread.
So i dont think i would have much luck in that as she is constantly into everything and anything at the moment.
Goodluck to anyone that can go a whole day
---------------
DD - 2 :ecomcity:
DS - 3 months :)
To clarify, not saying no doesn't mean you have to say yes to everything either LOL.
If DS wants to go for a walk (goes to the front door and gets his shoes) I might say 'lets have morning tea now and maybe we can go later/tommorrow' rather than 'no'.
Life would be impossible if I let my two year old dictate what we did all day.
MummaBear03
14-09-2009, 17:07
I failed miserably! I thought it would be a possibility on a weekend when we had all fun things planned, and the housework was done but NOOOOOOOO it was all good until about 11am when all I heard was "Are we leaving yet?" with me answering, "No, after sports we're leaving" and this went on until 2pm when we got to sports, then it changed to "Is this the last event?" and for most of it, the answer was "No" until we got to the last one, then I got to say YES!!! Then when she asked again "Are we leaving yet?" I had to say no again because we had to stop in at home to get the puppy and the food we were taking, then stop for fuel, then we could leave :o
BabelFish
14-09-2009, 17:15
I wouldn't even try, honestly. It's just a word. There's plenty of ways to positively raise your child without having to watch every little thing you say. If I say no, I say no. If I say yes, I say yes. If I say elephant, I say elephant.
FiveInTheBed
15-09-2009, 10:54
To clarify, not saying no doesn't mean you have to say yes to everything either LOL.
If DS wants to go for a walk (goes to the front door and gets his shoes) I might say 'lets have morning tea now and maybe we can go later/tommorrow' rather than 'no'.
Life would be impossible if I let my two year old dictate what we did all day.
:yes::yes::yes:
you can say No without saying 'No'.
saying 'No' isn't going to harm your child, but I bet if everyone tallied up the number of times they said 'no' and the number of times they said 'yes' throughout a day.... 'no' would win!
jembelina
15-09-2009, 12:58
Right - I'm going to give it a go. Starting now! Will be interesting, will report back in 24 hours......if I last that long!
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