Boys and teenage pregnancy.....

[jembelina]

The other day I was just casually chatting to the other kinder mums while we were waiting to pick our kids up. One woman mentioned that a friend of hers has just found out that her third baby will be another boy and that she was a bit dissapointed as they were hoping for a girl.
I can't remember exactly how it came up, but someone mentioned that at least with boys you don't have to worry about teenage pregnancy.

What are your views on your sons(or just boys in general if you don't have sons) and teenage pregnancy???

[onionskin]

It worries me a lot, but no more with either the boys or girls...

my views on teenage pregnancy. well honestly I hope it doesn't happen, but if it did. I hope my children take responsibility for their actions, I would also support them in whatever decisions they would make.

[Annabella]

Thats the attitude that makes the girl the **** and the boy the one who is hard done by and getting trapped. I think its wrong.

TBH I feel more comfortable thinking about my daughters falling pregnant as a teenager as I would have more chance of being actively involved in the baby's life (assuming she decided to keep it). Usually the child stays with the mother and she is also the one who has the end decision if she wants to keep it. I would be devastated if my son got a girl pregnant and she either terminated or if I didn't get to be very involved in my grandchild's life.

[SassyMummy]

It is kinda true though.

Boys can get out of it so easily. Their legal obligation ends at paying child support... and that's really unfortunate. Parents can say and do all they want to encourage their teenage son to have contact with his child... but he can choose to ignore them if he likes.

I would be P*SSED if my son knocked a girl up and then abandoned the child. I would also be p*ssed if he abandoned the girl the moment he discovered she was pregnant too... and if the two were never a couple in the first place, I'd be disappointed that he thought he was mature enough to screw around at the ripe old age of 16 (or whatever).

I'm hoping I can raise a son (if I ever have one) that doesn't think that way - and that will accept his responsibilities. Though, I'm kinda just hoping he doesn't "make" any responsibilities to accept... :p

[sandy cheeks]

It scares the crap outa me TBH I have a brother who is 14 and ds.
I am scared a girl could try and trap them or that they could be careless and then end up with a unplanned preg with someone that they dont intened to be with in the long run.
I hate how ppl say boy's get off easy cos I kind of think it's much of a muchness yes a girl get's stuck with the baby but a boy (once a girl is pregnant) has no choice either way she has the right(fair enough her body) to terminate or not his feeling, values and thoughts are not considered at all I dont like this I am all for equal rights but who has more rights girl, boy or baby :confused::confused::confused:

[Gruffalo]

I think sometimes people just say this and its not really well thought about when it slips. Because yes... if your teenage son was going to be a dad then it would be definately something to be concerned about. I must admit I do think that, because I potentially will have two girls. I do stress and worry more about girls than I do about my son if they were to become a parent. But either way they definately need support no matter son or daughter. I just pray it wont happen to us though :laughing:

[Gruffalo]

It is kinda true though.

Boys can get out of it so easily. Their legal obligation ends at paying child support... and that's really unfortunate. Parents can say and do all they want to encourage their teenage son to have contact with his child... but he can choose to ignore them if he likes.

I would be P*SSED if my son knocked a girl up and then abandoned the child. I would also be p*ssed if he abandoned the girl the moment he discovered she was pregnant too... and if the two were never a couple in the first place, I'd be disappointed that he thought he was mature enough to screw around at the ripe old age of 16 (or whatever).

I'm hoping I can raise a son (if I ever have one) that doesn't think that way - and that will accept his responsibilities. Though, I'm kinda just hoping he doesn't "make" any responsibilities to accept... :p

Exactly :yes: :thumbsup:

[sandy_1902]

It is kinda true though.

Boys can get out of it so easily. Their legal obligation ends at paying child support... and that's really unfortunate. Parents can say and do all they want to encourage their teenage son to have contact with his child... but he can choose to ignore them if he likes.

I would be P*SSED if my son knocked a girl up and then abandoned the child. I would also be p*ssed if he abandoned the girl the moment he discovered she was pregnant too... and if the two were never a couple in the first place, I'd be disappointed that he thought he was mature enough to screw around at the ripe old age of 16 (or whatever).

I'm hoping I can raise a son (if I ever have one) that doesn't think that way - and that will accept his responsibilities. Though, I'm kinda just hoping he doesn't "make" any responsibilities to accept... :p

yup i agree

[Mrs Nietzsche]

Youdo'+++++++++++++

[FullMoon]

Only read some replies but NO i dont agree with what someone said (boys get off easily)..

You all seem to think and this is in alot of threads that well its ok for me cause they only have to pay child support..

I hope my kids dont become teenage parents. However if they did i doubt it would be easy on them as I will be rasing them that no matter what family is everything and they will be respectful and caring about any family they create no matter how old they are.

Men do not get off easy it is not easy... most men do not want to just pay child support.. No matter their ages..

Just because their legal obligation ends with child support does not mean their moral obligations always do.

[Mummaholic]

I will teach my sons to be gentlemen and take care of their responsibilities.

I would be expecting them to help financially, emotionally, cordially and respectfully. I would expect them to assist their girlfriend and support her no matter what her decision was. My door would be open night or day to help.

I would expect them to be a parent not just a 'baby daddy'.

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

It scares the crap outa me TBH I have a brother who is 14 and ds.
I am scared a girl could try and trap them or that they could be careless and then end up with a unplanned preg with someone that they dont intened to be with in the long run.
I hate how ppl say boy's get off easy cos I kind of think it's much of a muchness yes a girl get's stuck with the baby but a boy (once a girl is pregnant) has no choice either way she has the right(fair enough her body) to terminate or not his feeling, values and thoughts are not considered at all I dont like this I am all for equal rights but who has more rights girl, boy or baby :confused::confused::confused:
I have a DS too. I hope he will be intelligent enough to know that sex can equal pregnancy, as you can't trap someone who is intelligent and knows what they are doing. It's impossible and I refuse to believe men are that dumb. Some just play dumb when it suits them.


Men may have a moral obligation in theory, however when attitudes exist that men are "trapped or tricked" it is clear that society is happy to make women the scapegoats and allow men to walk away from their responsibilities, which is ridiculous.

[missie_mack]

Really pregnancy is the least of anyones worries. If you child has to come home and tell you they are pregnant or they have assisted in someone else pregnancy I think we all need to be greatful that it is only a pregnancy and not a life long STI....

Fathers are just as important in my world as mothers and both a male or a female child with a unplanned teenage pregnancy would be treated in a similar fashion

[Annabella]

I just want to add, my (now) husband was a teenage father, he was 18 at the time, and wanted me to have an abortion, which I refused. I offered him a leave pass as I recognised I did have the end say due to it being my uterus, but he chose to stick around despite the fact we'd only been properly together for about a month. I would hate people to think that I 'trapped' him, but was VERY VERY aware of this stereotype and pushed him to continue what he was doing interstate so there was no way I could be blamed for f'ing up his life by getting pregnant etc. I went through my pregnancy alone and a lot of our daughter's first year because I felt I had to prove to people I didn't trap him, he was free to leave at any time and that I wasn't going to be the b1tch that ruined his chance of succeeding at his dream.

Well, 8 years down the track, another kid and a wedding later, and another kid on the way, and he did get where he wanted to and TBH I take some of the credit for that. Because I think if it wasnt for me and my support, and for the fact he was expected to provide for us, I don't know if he would've had the discipline to stick with it. I also give him full credit for standing by me and my decision as it would've been really hard, and at the same time I know his mum would've killed him if he'd walked out on us.

Teenage pregnancy is not that bad. I know becoming a dad has made him a much better person, yes we have had A LOT of hard times, but he's proof that it can be a really positive thing.

[Benji]

I don't understand why so many people worry about girls getting pregnant but not boys getting girls pregnant.

It takes two to make a baby, if any of my children become pregnant or make somebody else pregnant they will be taking equal responsibility! Male or female.

[SassyMummy]

Just because their legal obligation ends with child support does not mean their moral obligations always do.

Their moral obligation really means nothing though. You can't MAKE them do anything. You can try, everyone can try to encourage them... but it's up to them, in the end. You cannot make a man form a relationship with his child. You cannot make him be an active part of its life.

So many women on BH have this problem - a FOB or ex who has shirked all responsibility. They care not for their moral obligations... and often complain of their financial obligations too.

I think everyone has the goal of raising a son who will accept his responsibilities and step up if he were to impregnate someone unintentionally... but the truth of the matter is, you cannot MAKE him do anything more than pay child support.

I do believe it can be far easier on teenage fathers than teenage mothers. Doesn't mean it IS easier, but if can certainly be a lot easier if they want to shirk their responsibility... just hand over a small payment every week and that's their part done.

[sandy cheeks]

I have a DS too. I hope he will be intelligent enough to know that sex can equal pregnancy, as you can't trap someone who is intelligent and knows what they are doing. It's impossible and I refuse to believe men are that dumb. Some just play dumb when it suits them.


Men may have a moral obligation in theory, however when attitudes exist that men are "trapped or tricked" it is clear that society is happy to make women the scapegoats and allow men to walk away from their responsibilities, which is ridiculous.


It's a fact some women do trap/trick men I know of one who pinpricked the condom and said she was on the pill and she was stupid enough to tell friends her plan lucky he didn't get her pregnant.
I have a close girlfriend who just told me the father on the birth cert may not be the father (im disgusted tbh) and she won’t tell the father on the bc even though she has known the whole time.
I am all for equal rights but in which case is it equal.

My body My choice.

It's not as black and white as you see it SSP and yes men should take responsibility in a perfect world they would but in the real world that's not going to happen till they give birth and are stuck at home with baby.

I am not a scapegoater I am a independant, equal rights woman I just think that like most other mammals in the animal kingdom a child is it's mothers responsibility as it's her body and most courts will give a mum custody anyway.
I always think cs should be paid but you carn't force a man to be a father how about if a man want's the child and the mother doesn't should she be forced to have that baby because it's fair and equal?

I love the fact I am a women in that I have a say it's all in my control if he is unable then stuff him I can choose to do thing's on my own and if I am unable then I am not forced into doing something I dont want with someone I dont want.

[florence]

It's a fact some women do trap/trick men


So many women on BH will jump up and down and say that 'those women are a small minority' but really, how do they know that? How many women actually admit to that for satistics purposes etc?
I, for one, know it happens a hell of a lot more than people would like to know or admit.
Very, very sad for the men involved.
Especially when he is clearly taking all precautions to avoid having a baby.
Let's face it, just because we have sex doesn't mean we want a baby and it's just fortunate for a woman that, at the end of the day, she gets the final say because it's her body.
Shame for the man, really.
If my teenage son got a girl pregnant and she chose to keep the baby and he didn't want to or wasn't ready to be a father then sure, legally, he has to pay child support but nobody can make him love the child or be involved in it's life. You just can't.
I guess that's something these girls don't think about when trapping a man. The child will go through it's life knowing it was never wanted by it's father and that's got to have lasting psychological effects. A shame, yes but a burden that the child's mother must bear IMO.
I had unwanted pregnancies terminated when I was younger (not saying I am proud of it) due to the fact I know you cannot make someone do something they do not want to do and you cannot make someone love a child they do not or don't want to love. It's just a fact.
That and the fact that if the father didn't want the child then who was I to try and force that? I didn't want any child having to grow up knowing that his or her father didn't want to know about him/her.

[dreamtobeamummy]

Its something that I wouldn't want to happen.. but I would hope he would stand up and take responsibility for his actions.. It takes two to tango!

DF was a teenage father at the age of 15.. he stood up and took responsibility.. yes it was a mistake, but would he change it now? no he wouldn't!

Teenage pregnancy only really annoys the heck out of me when the parent likes to sit down the street drinking and dragging their babies behind them.. to me that isn't parenting!

[Oya]

Just because their legal obligation ends with child support does not mean their moral obligations always do.

No but with teen pregnancies that is what happens with the majority of cases.

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

So many women on BH will jump up and down and say that 'those women are a small minority' but really, how do they know that?

Because unless a man is raped he hasn't been tricked into anything. Babies result from sex, it's a very simple equation..


Many men may decieve women into thinking they will be great fathers too.



How many women actually admit to that for satistics purposes etc?.

How many men claim it after the fact when being a father doesn't suit their plans?


I, for one, know it happens a hell of a lot more than people would like to know or admit..

Again men are more intelligent then you are giving them credit for, most know how the body works, sperm plus egg can = baby n all that.



Very, very sad for the men involved..

Vary sad for the child involved that people would ever suggest that men shouldn't take responsibility for their actions.


Especially when he is clearly taking all precautions to avoid having a baby.
Let's face it, just because we have sex doesn't mean we want a baby and it's just fortunate for a woman that, at the end of the day, she gets the final say because it's her body.
Shame for the man, really..

Not really it's not his body.



If my teenage son got a girl pregnant and she chose to keep the baby and he didn't want to or wasn't ready to be a father then sure, legally, he has to pay child support but nobody can make him love the child or be involved in it's life. You just can't..

No but I would hope that my DH and I are showing our children particuarly DS a far better example then that. I want my son to know the measure of a real man is how he cares for his children.



I guess that's something these girls don't think about when trapping a man. The child will go through it's life knowing it was never wanted by it's father and that's got to have lasting psychological effects. .

I guess that these children will grow up knowing their father was to immature and irresponsible to put the needs of an innocent child before his own..



A shame, yes but a burden that the child's mother must bear IMO..

A shame that people write such ridiculous and vile rubbish.




I had unwanted pregnancies terminated when I was younger (not saying I am proud of it) due to the fact I know you cannot make someone do something they do not want to do and you cannot make someone love a child they do not or don't want to love. It's just a fact.
That and the fact that if the father didn't want the child then who was I to try and force that? I didn't want any child having to grow up knowing that his or her father didn't want to know about him/her.

I'm sorry those men were such jerks, you deserved better, all women and children do.

[florence]

I'm sorry those men were such jerks, you deserved better, all women and children do.

Don't be sorry. I am mature enough to understand that just because someone has sex doesn't necessarily mean they want to have a baby- using contraception is a pretty good indicator of that.
Yes, having sex can result in a baby but like I said, you can't make a guy be a father to a baby (other than bologically) and that's a fact.

[delirium]

I will teach my sons to be gentlemen and take care of their responsibilities.

I would be expecting them to help financially, emotionally, cordially and respectfully. I would expect them to assist their girlfriend and support her no matter what her decision was. My door would be open night or day to help.

I would expect them to be a parent not just a 'baby daddy'.


I don't understand why so many people worry about girls getting pregnant but not boys getting girls pregnant.

It takes two to make a baby, if any of my children become pregnant or make somebody else pregnant they will be taking equal responsibility! Male or female.

:iagree::yelclap: Both my children will be taught to take responsbility if there is a pregnancy. Just bc my son doesn't carry the baby doesn't mean he shouldn't and won't step up, and believe me, he will if I have any say ;)

[Emi]

i believe this is a very... 'touchy' topic... and i think that it can swing either way...

i think that at the end of the day... it takes two to tango, so to speak... and if that results in a baby then i think it is both parties responsibilities... if the male or female, wasnt ready for a baby or didnt want it then they should think about that before having sex... im pretty sure its a known fact that sex between and male and female can result in a pregnancy... planned or unplanned...

i think educatiing people and having close relationships with families will help this...

i also think that teenage pregnancy is bloddy hard! and i can say that... i was 18 when i fell pregnant my partner was 17... it was terrifying... it was confronting... but at the end of the day we made the decision to have sex, we knew what could happen... but there was still a time in our relationship that was very confronting...

i think... that that this opinions on this matter can and will change with experience... i know at times i felt as though i was holding df back... and that the family thought we were recking our lives... but like i said at the end of the day... no matter what your age... if your having sex, then you need to be aware of what may result from it... even if you dont think it will ever happen to you!!!

the only for of conratception that works 110% is having no sex at all!!!

[bumMum]

I'm sure there are women who do trick men into pregnancy. but I don't think many of them would be teenagers, tricking teenage boys into fatherhood. so very unlikely. I can not think of one person who would have done this. some young mums I know were very very young and fell pregnant like within the first few times and just had that idea in their mind "ill be careful next time" or their boyfriend somehow made them feel guilty about mentioning protection in the heat of the moment .. but most were actually using some form of contraception.. or beleived that they were somehow being careful using the withdrawel method.. know of a few planned pregnancies also, and a lot of planned second pregnancies..

why would any teenage girl feel the need to trick anyone into getting them pregnant? it doesnt make sense, the girl has not a lot to gain, besides weight he he.. and obviously a baby.. and the idea of girls getting pregnant for the money, I think most people realize is rubbish, and pretty much never happens except in some very sad communities with many social issues.

as for if my son got someone pregnant as a teenager, I would support him, because that is what our families did for us. I would hope I raised him so that even if he did not "love" this girl enough to make a life with her and baby, he would WANT to help her and be in the babies life. I would be prepared for the fact that young boys are even more immature than young girls, and that he probably wouldn't cope very well all the time. he would probably want OUT at various times, but hope that he would be a strong enough person to do the right thing, not the easy thing. I think it is unnatural for parents to walk away from their own babies. It happens all the time and is terrible and I just don't know how anyone could do it.

when I get preg, my now MIL, genuinelly thought I had done it on purpose, to TRAP DP, then ex.. into being with me and supporting me financially. why would I do that? he was an idiot 18 year old boy who had no idea about anything, had just decided to throw away his apprenticeship in favour of being a moron, and had just lost his license!!! I think she realize I really was just as shocked as everyone else after a while, and got over that theory.. realizing her son was being a big loser.. thankfully he improved, and big thanks to MIL for kicking his butt haha!! :laughing:

[Teley]

I have a son and I don't care if he becomes a teenage dad, but preferably out of school and married. I don't care at what age that happens, 18 or 40.

If he tries to do a runner, I will kick his a$$ to the kerb and wonder why my parenting skills failed, as well as life experience of growing up without a dad, and I would support the girl.

Of all things, teenage pregnancy is the last thing I worry about. Like seriously, you're going to talk to your child about contraception and say, oh it's okay that you're 15 and having sex, but OMG do not fall pregnant and let's bury our head in the sand and pretend contraception is 100% effective. Flawed logic, anybody?

[Whispers]

Thats the attitude that makes the girl the **** and the boy the one who is hard done by and getting trapped. I think its wrong.

TBH I feel more comfortable thinking about my daughters falling pregnant as a teenager as I would have more chance of being actively involved in the baby's life (assuming she decided to keep it). Usually the child stays with the mother and she is also the one who has the end decision if she wants to keep it. I would be devastated if my son got a girl pregnant and she either terminated or if I didn't get to be very involved in my grandchild's life.
:iagree:

It's not only the females who need to be responisable a baby affects both parents. I would be utterly disgusted if my son got a girl pregnant and just walked away.

[bumMum]

If he tries to do a runner, I will kick his a$$ to the kerb

Of all things, teenage pregnancy is the last thing I worry about. Like seriously, you're going to talk to your child about contraception and say, oh it's okay that you're 15 and having sex, but OMG do not fall pregnant and let's bury our head in the sand and pretend contraception is 100% effective. Flawed logic, anybody?

yep! :yes:

[Luna Lovegood]

It scares the crap outa me TBH I have a brother who is 14 and ds.
I am scared a girl could try and trap them or that they could be careless and then end up with a unplanned preg with someone that they dont intened to be with in the long run.
I hate how ppl say boy's get off easy cos I kind of think it's much of a muchness yes a girl get's stuck with the baby but a boy (once a girl is pregnant) has no choice either way she has the right(fair enough her body) to terminate or not his feeling, values and thoughts are not considered at all I dont like this I am all for equal rights but who has more rights girl, boy or baby :confused::confused::confused:

How could a girl trap them if they're putting a condom on??? :confused:

[Luna Lovegood]

It's a fact some women do trap/trick men I know of one who pinpricked the condom and said she was on the pill and she was stupid enough to tell friends her plan lucky he didn't get her pregnant.
I have a close girlfriend who just told me the father on the birth cert may not be the father (im disgusted tbh) and she won’t tell the father on the bc even though she has known the whole time.
I am all for equal rights but in which case is it equal.

My body My choice.

It's not as black and white as you see it SSP and yes men should take responsibility in a perfect world they would but in the real world that's not going to happen till they give birth and are stuck at home with baby.



I am confused- if the man buys some condoms and puts it on himself, then the female would have a hard time pricking it. Why not teach your son to not be silly and wrap his willy?


So many women on BH will jump up and down and say that 'those women are a small minority' but really, how do they know that? How many women actually admit to that for satistics purposes etc?
I, for one, know it happens a hell of a lot more than people would like to know or admit.
Very, very sad for the men involved.
Especially when he is clearly taking all precautions to avoid having a baby.


If he has clearly taken all precautions, then he has put on his own condom and 99% likely, he is fine. Where is the issue? :confused:

[RedPanda]

I only have boys and if one of them created a baby, I would hope I'd raised them to be responsible. As I would if my daughter got pregnant, I would also hold myself financially responsible. There is no way any baby of my son's would go unsupported or uninvolved in my family, regardless of the longetivity of the teen relationship.
I would hate for it to *ruin* (I don't like using that word but can't think of a better one) my son's life. I would be disappointed in him, but would provide the financial and human resources for him to finish his education.

[Teley]

I would hate for it to *ruin* (I don't like using that word but can't think of a better one) my son's life. I would be disappointed in him, but would provide the financial and human resources for him to finish his education.

:confused:Um......ruin? That is very sad that you see the birth of a child as ruining other people's lives.

[florence]

If he has clearly taken all precautions, then he has put on his own condom and 99% likely, he is fine. Where is the issue? :confused:

Condoms can be tampered with without it being obvious to the user.
Also, there has been cases where women have been caught trying to impregnate themselves with the contents of a used condom.

[Teley]

Condoms can be tampered with without it being obvious to the user.
Also, there has been cases where women have been caught trying to impregnate themselves with the contents of a used condom.

Omg! How often does that happen?! And what has this got to do with teenage pregnancy? That could happen in any pregnancy!

[SassyMummy]

:confused:Um......ruin? That is very sad that you see the birth of a child as ruining other people's lives.

That's why she said she was trying to think of another word in its place. The ruining of ones' life really is in the eye of the beholder anyway... and I don't think there's anything wrong with people feeling that a certain event in their life is a negative one (not just talking about having babies here). People will feel how they will feel.

If I were to fall pregnant now, I'd feel it was a bit of a "ruining my life," moment too.

Don't get too offended about threads about teenage pregnancy. I understand you're a young mother, as am I. I fell pregnant at 18.

I don't think anyone WANTS their children to get into a situation that they don't want to be in... and I think that's what WitchHazel was trying to say about the "ruining" thing.

[Teley]

That's why she said she was trying to think of another word in its place. The ruining of ones' life really is in the eye of the beholder anyway... and I don't think there's anything wrong with people feeling that a certain event in their life is a negative one (not just talking about having babies here). People will feel how they will feel.

If I were to fall pregnant now, I'd feel it was a bit of a "ruining my life," moment too.

Don't get too offended about threads about teenage pregnancy. I understand you're a young mother, as am I. I fell pregnant at 18.

I don't think anyone WANTS their children to get into a situation that they don't want to be in... and I think that's what WitchHazel was trying to say about the "ruining" thing.

Of course there is nothing wrong feeling like an event is a problem, or feeling sad about something. However, negative statements are negative statements, and I don't think offended is quite the right word, more like finding it hard to understand that somebody has such a negative view toward children. JMO.

[florence]

Don't get too offended about threads about teenage pregnancy.


:iagree:

[Luna Lovegood]

Condoms can be tampered with without it being obvious to the user.
Also, there has been cases where women have been caught trying to impregnate themselves with the contents of a used condom.


If a man provides his own condom then how could it be tampered with????? :confused:

[florence]

If a man provides his own condom then how could it be tampered with????? :confused:

It's really not that hard.
A pin into the condom, while the guy isn't looking, is one example.
Anyways, had my say...peace out people.
:)

[RedPanda]

Thanks Sassy! I don't know why I bothered to qualify it in the original post if people were going to ignore it. Of course I don't view children negatively Salaam, I have two and one on the way. They are the best thing that's happened to me but I think it's perfectly normal for a parent to want a child to finish their education and have the best possible shot at the future they originally wanted for themselves? I would welcome any grandchild (as I thought I had stated in my original post) and be very upset if that child was not part of my family's life, but I wouldn't break out the champagne and congratulate my son on being a parent at 15 without fearing that he may have to make a lot of sacrifices at a young age (as all parents do).

ETA: Oh, and that's JMO ;)

[Benji]

It's really not that hard.
A pin into the condom, while the guy isn't looking, is one example.
Anyways, had my say...peace out people.
:)

I'm really not sure how that's relevant or where you're going with this. Are you trying to state that all men and teenage boys should be freed of all responsibility in case their sexual partner pricked the condom?



WitchHazel, I'm guessing you meant "lessen his quality of life" or something like that :) I understand what you meant. Salam, it really wasn't anything against teen parents :hugs:

[mum2bubba]

I can't remember exactly how it came up, but someone mentioned that at least with boys you don't have to worry about teenage pregnancy.

What are your views on your sons(or just boys in general if you don't have sons) and teenage pregnancy???

My grandmother mentioned the same thing to me when Nathan was born. I reminded her that just because he's a male doesn't mean teenage pregnancy won't/can't happen. Obviously he's not going to be the one to come home pregnant but there's always that chance he could MAKE someone pregnant. I just hope that if he does he takes responsibility for his actions.

[mum2bubba]

T

TBH I feel more comfortable thinking about my daughters falling pregnant as a teenager as I would have more chance of being actively involved in the baby's life (assuming she decided to keep it). Usually the child stays with the mother and she is also the one who has the end decision if she wants to keep it. I would be devastated if my son got a girl pregnant and she either terminated or if I didn't get to be very involved in my grandchild's life.

Yeah same, it's quite sad just thinking about it actually. :(

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

It's really not that hard.
A pin into the condom, while the guy isn't looking, is one example.
Anyways, had my say...peace out people.
:)
:laughing: Hilarious, yep happens all the time. NOT.

Guard your condoms boys, because Yanno women are such scheming biatches.:laughing:

[RedPanda]

Thanks Angike! :goodvibes:

It wasn't a slight at all against teen parents, particularly mothers who I think do a great job and I'm a little disturbed that it was perceived like that.

[Rebdot]

It really annoys me that some mother think boys should be able to get away clean if they happen to be expecting a baby.

There is no way i would let my son abandon his child, he is just as much involved as the girl.


My DP is almost 25 and he had some trouble accepting this pregnancy even though it was planned and when i turned to his mother for help she didnt care one bit, all she said was " well you'll get child support"

If i was the mother in that situation and a girl come to me and said "iv tried all i can but your son says he dosnt want to be involved in his childs life" i would definatly not delay in discussing the issue with him. Id be on his back everyday about it.


Somedays i think teenage parents seem more willing to be responsible than us.

[Teley]

Thanks Angike! :goodvibes:

It wasn't a slight at all against teen parents, particularly mothers who I think do a great job and I'm a little disturbed that it was perceived like that.

Hazel, I wasn't perceiving it as a slight against teenage parents. I was just finding it hard to understand how becoming a parent "lessons the quality of your life".

I am a teenage parent. Being a parent has NOT lessened my quality of life. If I could go back would I have waited? No:no:. I like it this way.

[SassyMummy]

But it can lessen the quality of life of others. It's all a matter of personal opinion really.

Has having a child as a 19-year-old with very little life experience lessened the quality of my life? Well, yes, to some degree it has. My life is nothing like it could be. Instead, I am poor, I have not really experienced anything outside of motherhood... my life is JUST being a mother, and for me, that's not really enough.

Being a teenage mother is not something I'd recommend to others.

If people feel that it's lessened their quality of life, that's a personal opinion of their own situation. It's different for everyone.

[RedPanda]

Hazel, I wasn't perceiving it as a slight against teenage parents. I was just finding it hard to understand how becoming a parent "lessons the quality of your life".

I am a teenage parent. Being a parent has NOT lessened my quality of life. If I could go back would I have waited? No:no:. I like it this way.

It hasn't lessened mine, but I was fortunate enough to be able to do everything I wanted to before I had my child. I want the same for my children (besides which, I am talking a young teen in high school, not a 19-yo). I don't think that's unreasonable, and I don't think that means that I believe children *ruin* your life. I think it means that I want to give my children (who are under the age of consent and legally shouldn't be having sex anyway) a childhood.

I stated that ruin was the wrong word in the first place, so I am really starting to find your posts accusatory and unnecessary. I think you're looking for a debate in the wrong place, and I don't have the inclination to indulge you sorry.

[bumMum]

I feel really bad for you sassymummy, feeling like you are "just a mum".. I feel like I am much more than that.. but I like the mum part too! :)

I think I've read somewhere you saying that before.. it makes me feel sad..

I hate being broke too but I think that there are a lot of parents, not just the young ones, who are poor, and who feel like 'just a mum'...sometimes.. anyway, unless you go on to have 10 children, you will get to have other life experiences he he.. if you don't mind going clubbing in your late 30's.. that isn't sad is it?! lol.. :smiliedance:

But I guess what people were saying is that being a young parent makes things HARDER.. that's just how it is.. but having kids any time changes things.. it's just so damn hard finishing school and doing all that stuff.. the good thing about being young is you still have plenty of time though.. and thats why I guess most of the mums were saying they would encourage their sons to finish school and try to support them as best they could.. if it was your man-child 35 year old son who got some girl pregnant and then decided he wasn't ready and wanted to still be young..it would probably be even sadder..

[SassyMummy]

No need to feel sad... I'm working my way to a better life. I'm looking for a job and looking forward to being more than just someones girlfriend, someones daughter, someones mum. Very much looking forward to just being ME again.

I don't think clubbing will be my scene when I'm in my 30s... I remember being embarrassed when my mother thought she was all cool when I was a teen... lol.

It's not really about clubbing though. It's just everything that I could have had or done, and ease of it all.

As a mother, I can still work. I can still travel. I can still do all of that. But it's so much harder.

I can work - but only within daycare hours.

I can travel - but not like a young carefree person, and instead go on a family holiday or find someone for my daughter to stay with while I'm away and then have to explain to her why she didn't get to tag along.

I can buy a house - but god knows it's going to be harder when I have to pay for another extra person and the job paying for my mortgage is so restricted because I can only work during certain hours.

I can buy a car - but if I didn't have a dependant, my loan could be larger than it is currently able to be.

I can wear a bikini - but I'll look feral. No matter how thin I get, I'll never get rid of my stretchmarks. Not a biggie I know, but I would have liked to have been, at one point, a bit hot. That'll never happen now, and while it's not a massive deal, it's still a little loss.

I can study - but my study has to be able to worked around my life as a parent.

It's just harder, that's all, and I know that for me, it would have been easier if all of that could have come FIRST. Then, by the time I had my child, I'd be ready. I'd be settled, I'd have done all that I had wanted, I'd be financially better prepared, etc etc.

Anyway, this is kind of getting off topic. It does show though, that quality of life can be altered by having a child, as can the wishes and desires you have for yourself and your future.

TBH, if my child came home and told me they were expecting, I'd be a bit sad because I'd be greiving the life they'd be losing by having a child. The things they'll be missing out on. It won't just be an overreaction either, because I KNOW that it's that way.

I would, however, still support them and encourage them and be there for them.

I certainly wouldn't go, "Oh well, you're not hte one with the uterus," to my son if he had impregnated a girl, and not care if he wouldn't accept his responsibility as a father. I'd be damned disappointed, and would be sure to let him know.

[bumMum]

No need to feel sad... I'm working my way to a better life. I'm looking for a job and looking forward to being more than just someones girlfriend, someones daughter, someones mum. Very much looking forward to just being ME again.

I don't think clubbing will be my scene when I'm in my 30s... I remember being embarrassed when my mother thought she was all cool when I was a teen... lol.

It's not really about clubbing though. It's just everything that I could have had or done, and ease of it all.

As a mother, I can still work. I can still travel. I can still do all of that. But it's so much harder.

I can work - but only within daycare hours.

I can travel - but not like a young carefree person, and instead go on a family holiday or find someone for my daughter to stay with while I'm away and then have to explain to her why she didn't get to tag along.

I can buy a house - but god knows it's going to be harder when I have to pay for another extra person and the job paying for my mortgage is so restricted because I can only work during certain hours.

I can buy a car - but if I didn't have a dependant, my loan could be larger than it is currently able to be.

I can wear a bikini - but I'll look feral. No matter how thin I get, I'll never get rid of my stretchmarks. Not a biggie I know, but I would have liked to have been, at one point, a bit hot. That'll never happen now, and while it's not a massive deal, it's still a little loss.

I can study - but my study has to be able to worked around my life as a parent.

It's just harder, that's all, and I know that for me, it would have been easier if all of that could have come FIRST. Then, by the time I had my child, I'd be ready. I'd be settled, I'd have done all that I had wanted, I'd be financially better prepared, etc etc.

Anyway, this is kind of getting off topic. It does show though, that quality of life can be altered by having a child, as can the wishes and desires you have for yourself and your future.

TBH, if my child came home and told me they were expecting, I'd be a bit sad because I'd be greiving the life they'd be losing by having a child. The things they'll be missing out on. It won't just be an overreaction either, because I KNOW that it's that way.

I would, however, still support them and encourage them and be there for them.

I certainly wouldn't go, "Oh well, you're not hte one with the uterus," to my son if he had impregnated a girl, and not care if he wouldn't accept his responsibility as a father. I'd be damned disappointed, and would be sure to let him know.

yer It sure can make things harder I know what you mean. the travel thing especially! I hope you do enjoy it as well though. sometimes doing things that are hard makes us better people I believe. Well, I choose to believe that.. I hope it is true!! not always I'm sure
I also highly doubt I will go clubbing when I am older.. technically I could go clubbing now, and I have gone out a few times.. there just seems to be something really strange about going out at 10.30 at night and leaving my boys at home lol.. but you know, not all older parents have all the stuff you want... and I hope you get all that. I hope I get all that toooo!!! :fingerscrossed:

[Luna Lovegood]

It's really not that hard.
A pin into the condom, while the guy isn't looking, is one example.
Anyways, had my say...peace out people.
:)

So the guy gets the condom out of his wallet/pocket/backpack/draw, unwraps it and puts it on himself- how can it get pinned???? Shouldn't he be responsible for ensuring he has safely kept condoms ready to go....