View Full Version : Is there any one out there?
i was jus wondering how many of u guys after splitting up with your childs father have found someone else and are happy? i have no idea what its gonna be like trying to find a guy who will love me and my baby especially a guy around my age! interested to hear people's experiences
I was 25 when I fell preg with DS and he's now 5 1/2. I was a single parent from the day I found out that I was preg.
I had the same concerns as you at first, and considered myself to be "used goods" if you get what I mean...
Anyway, life as a single parent was great and at no time did I have concerns about being by myself as I have a great circle of friends - I was content to be a single mum forever, and everyone thought I would be this way too.
I met my DH in April 2005 and hit it off immediately. In April this year, we were married and now I can't imagine life without him. And in June we found out we were expecting a bub (#2 for me, #5 for him). Until we met, both of us thought that we were destined to be alone, and we were both comfortable with that.
Very lucky we met, but it did take close to 5 years of being a single parent to find that special someone.
Good luck - just remember to love you & your bub, be kind to yourself and don't put the walls up too high as you could be blocking opportunities ;)
i was pretty much broke up from my childs father only a few weeks after i found out i was pregnant.. so ive had a lot of time to get over the hurt and have time to myself to think about what i really want in life!! my baby is now 6 weeks old.. i wasnt even planning on meeting anyone for 6 months or so.. and i never ever thought i would have feelings for another man the same as i felt for my ex... but in the last 2 weeks! i have been on 3 dates with a wonderful man who i am falling for!! ofcourse im being careful and not taking things to seriously just yet.. and even if it doesnt work out, atleast now i know that i have moved on from my ex and will be able to be happy with someone else! you do have to be careful because there are alot of men who wont be any good for you, or after the wrong things.. but there are many genuine men out there! and i think girls having a baby in this day and age is pretty common and men are pretty accepting about it.. if they werent and werent going to treat your child right then they are not worth it! if a man wants to be with you now.. he will have to accept that u come with a baby! also i seen that your 18.. to be totaly honest i dont think that you will find many men around your age who are going to be mature enough to accept that you have a baby.. and be ok with it.. im not saying there arent any but most younger guys i dont think are ready to handle something like that!... they arent really ready to settle down and still want to be party animals... i was very cautious at first as im 19.. but the man im dating is 30.. i dont think that age means anything it depends on the person!.. all everyone has said to me is.. dont worry about men and dating and just enjoy being single and being a new mum! and i was and am doing that.. just happend to bump into someone that could turn into something really special.. so i think when they time is right for you, you will meet your Mr right!.. may have to kiss a few frogs b4 then though! hehe:D
I was with my DD father for 10yrs and it was very hard when we split. But i have been a single parent for almost 1 1/2 years. And i can say that it gets better.
My advice is - dont look!!!!! the right person will come into your life when its right and if you are looking high and low to fill a spot (loneliness, etc) chances are you may end up settling and unhappy down the track.
From my personal experience ya need to give yourself time to discover who you are as a person. YOU, not you with someone - what makes you tick!! 'what you put out is what you get back'
And when the right person comes along, it wont matter that you have a child cause he will want both of you.
I second Babyboo on this one. You nailed it in one!
This story isn't about me but my Grandma... she fell pregnant when she was 16 and the father left her straight away. Two years later she met my Grandpa, and he thought her daughter was the cutest little thing on the planet. They got married and had four other children, and he always treated her daughter like his own. Everyone says he fell in love with the daughter before my Grandma (not in the sick way...) And they lived happily ever after... until they both died... :(
And I know there aren't many, but there are a few responsible guys out there who are young. My DH (at the time DF) was 18 when I fell pregnant and he was so excited and suppotive. We got married after she was born and he is such a great Dad and works like crazy so that I can stay home with her. So don't lose hope yet!
P.S I know I shouldn't be on the singles board, but just looking around!
I had three kids when i finally decided to leave the ex (very long story).. i was 22.
about a year after that not looking for another relationship because i had enough and just wanted to concerntrate on picking up the pieces of what had happened. I met a Jamie (now DH) through a close friend of mine. Found out he was really fond of me. So we went out as mates, one thing led to another. He looks at my children as his own in a very big way. Now at 24 we have a baby together and couldn't be anymore happier. My family and friends notice how happy i am now and they like to let me know. I think because i had a really bad relationship with the ex and losing everyone because of it. So making the "switch" from my ex to my now DH is a massive difference. I value our relationship.
If i can do it, anyone can :D
I was with my XH for 5 years and we had 2 beautiful daughters together. We than split just after my 21st and I was devistated but decided it was for the best. I started by looking after myself better (lost 30kgs in the process) and just taking 1 day at a time.
Then 1 day a male friend I had while with Xh called me up and told me he was in my area and wanted to know if I wanted to go out for a drink. I didnt think anything of it but we have now been together for neally 2 years and expecting our bubs in Oct.
The only advice I have is a man loves a women who loves herself and dont go looking for love, love WILL find you..
Also you are already do the most important job in the world (being a mother)
Maybe wait a little while before you take on the 2nd most important (tameing a man lol)
Hi everyone, from my previous threads some of you will know that I was looking and was upset about ex having a gf.
Well I have done a lot of soul searching and am finding I am in a happier place these days. Loosing weight for myself instead of a man helps.
I agree, that If you don't love yourself and your life, noone will want to come along and save you.
You need to have your own life and your own happiness and someone will definately come along for you.
I believe this because I have just started living by this rule in life.
Wishing you well and please let us know how you are doing.
You are not alone there are many of us out there.
Yes I hope with time to met a new man but agree need to love yourself first and focus on yourself.
Goodluck and lets dream the right person is just waiting round the corner when we least expect it:fingerscrossed:
I split with first bubs "father" when I was 10 weeks pregnant. It was tough in the beginning, and hard to get out and meet people. I met a couple of losers. But that was because I felt that I wasn't worth much as a teen single mum. I thought that the only guys who would want to be with me would have to be desperate, so I settled for total idiots who treated me like garbage.
Lucky me, I enrolled in Uni, and met a lovely scientist. We married, he adopted my daughter, and we had 3 more children.
You will only meet someone good enough for you when you accept yourself as a good catch. Once I realised that any guy who was lucky enough to meet myself, and my daughter, the phone didn't stop ringing!
My story is a little different. .though perhaps a bit odd . .lol ..I actually met the father of my little girl online . .and he came out to Australia in September of 2004 .. He stayed until July 2005 . .long story short. .things didnt work like we thought they would. . then a few weeks after he headed home .. i found out I was pregnant . .I was completely shocked but I had my mum to get me through everything .. I went to all my appointments on my own . . everything .. I never got any financial assistance from Him and still dont . .we do talk online most days so we have a friendship but i think honestly he is in like some sort of detached reality on what being a father means . .but i figure its his loss. .but aaaaaaaaaaanyways. . i feel the same as some of the other mums . .that you feel like used goods. .you wonder who on earth would want you and then the added bonus of what is really an instant family .. Im still trying to figure all that out .. but while I am .. i just tell myself. .enjoy the time with your bubs .. let them have all your attention . .life always has a funny way of working things out and things always happenw hen you least expect him . .we can just hope that he's tall. . handsome. .and maybe rich would be handy too .. -giggles- .
I was with my ex for 6 years and now I have been single for about 2 years. Even though I have had a few flings in these past two years, nothing has stuck. I am only 25 and I have two kids. It is hard when you have kids to even put yourselves in the right situation to meet someone so until you find that special someone who will love you and your kids fill your life with things to do such as planing little trips away, spend more time with your kids and focus on your career. Then when you least expect it, he'll trun up! I am still waiting lol
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