faery jo
08-09-2009, 17:02
this is a short version,,pregnancy's a scary thing, esp for me,
, i came from a broken home which seemed happy to those on the outside ,
, inside was a place i never wanted to be in i had many years of sexual abuse before being abandoned by my mother and left with the very person that abused me,,
shortly after my 14th birthday i remember talking to someone about what happened which had me promptly thrown out of my house and the suburb i live (some things people like to keep a secret)
from then on i didnt know who to trust how to live or what to do,, i was forced out of school and took up a job as a cook ( a profession i have been in since getting some very satifying jobs!)
though i struggled to stay with the norm of everyone around me,, i knew that my world wasnt the same,,though i lived in a half way house were there were kids worse off than me,,
from there i went into a life of drugs, parties and sex without meaning,i sufferd from terrible partners (though there was a beautiful one), and at my lowest i was forced by a partners wealthy family to have an abortion at 17 1/2wks ( it was hard for them to prove that i couldnt keep the child but said that because of the cultures and blah blah bl;ah i was very depressed so easily coherced)
for years i stayed in this world of dillusion
until one day!!
a long time friend of mine came to visit me from overseas she'd been living there for quite a while,, and looked at me and said going the way you are you'll never come visit me,, it was like a brick being thrown at me,, how long have i been sleeping through my own life?? do i want to participate in this world or sleep through it??
it was alot harder than you think,, i went to the airport and got on the first plane EVER it was the start of my new life in a new place,,it took a long time to find the right group of friends and to cut ties with the old ones
ive been where i live for a few years now i ve had some absolutly fabulous life changing jobs,,exciting experiences and started studying after thinking i was never going to be anyone,,i was lucky enough to have found a beautiful partner (though over the years of abuse it took a long time for me to think he was a good one and alot of getting together breaking up) we have been together for a few years now,, we lost a precious one at the start of the year which was a long a painfull process,, nowwe are lucky emough to have our beautiful little one arriving in feb,,:yelclap:
from the worst experiences one can have to a life full of hope and blessings im reunited with the child within myself as well as the one growing,, i feel blessed to have had everything in my life happen because now there are no blinkers on (though i worry about ever leaving my child alone its normal) i have lived through what most parents fear and came out alright and on top,, i hope to oneday study enough so i can help other young women that have been through abuse so they dont end up putting themselves through more
much light and love thanks :-);)
ps i suffered for many years with endometriosis i was told when i was 16 id never have children (my mother has one of her ovaries for me just in case)
they tried to remove everything from me but i tiold them to shove it and went and had1 yr of chinese herbalism and it worked i tell ya number one on the way!!!!
, i came from a broken home which seemed happy to those on the outside ,
, inside was a place i never wanted to be in i had many years of sexual abuse before being abandoned by my mother and left with the very person that abused me,,
shortly after my 14th birthday i remember talking to someone about what happened which had me promptly thrown out of my house and the suburb i live (some things people like to keep a secret)
from then on i didnt know who to trust how to live or what to do,, i was forced out of school and took up a job as a cook ( a profession i have been in since getting some very satifying jobs!)
though i struggled to stay with the norm of everyone around me,, i knew that my world wasnt the same,,though i lived in a half way house were there were kids worse off than me,,
from there i went into a life of drugs, parties and sex without meaning,i sufferd from terrible partners (though there was a beautiful one), and at my lowest i was forced by a partners wealthy family to have an abortion at 17 1/2wks ( it was hard for them to prove that i couldnt keep the child but said that because of the cultures and blah blah bl;ah i was very depressed so easily coherced)
for years i stayed in this world of dillusion
until one day!!
a long time friend of mine came to visit me from overseas she'd been living there for quite a while,, and looked at me and said going the way you are you'll never come visit me,, it was like a brick being thrown at me,, how long have i been sleeping through my own life?? do i want to participate in this world or sleep through it??
it was alot harder than you think,, i went to the airport and got on the first plane EVER it was the start of my new life in a new place,,it took a long time to find the right group of friends and to cut ties with the old ones
ive been where i live for a few years now i ve had some absolutly fabulous life changing jobs,,exciting experiences and started studying after thinking i was never going to be anyone,,i was lucky enough to have found a beautiful partner (though over the years of abuse it took a long time for me to think he was a good one and alot of getting together breaking up) we have been together for a few years now,, we lost a precious one at the start of the year which was a long a painfull process,, nowwe are lucky emough to have our beautiful little one arriving in feb,,:yelclap:
from the worst experiences one can have to a life full of hope and blessings im reunited with the child within myself as well as the one growing,, i feel blessed to have had everything in my life happen because now there are no blinkers on (though i worry about ever leaving my child alone its normal) i have lived through what most parents fear and came out alright and on top,, i hope to oneday study enough so i can help other young women that have been through abuse so they dont end up putting themselves through more
much light and love thanks :-);)
ps i suffered for many years with endometriosis i was told when i was 16 id never have children (my mother has one of her ovaries for me just in case)
they tried to remove everything from me but i tiold them to shove it and went and had1 yr of chinese herbalism and it worked i tell ya number one on the way!!!!