Confused

[little miss messy]

Hi, I'm new on here (1st post!!) I have a DD who is 6 and a DS who is 4. We have been talking about having another one for quite a while now. I have a strong desire for another one, I just have this feeling that our family isn't complete yet, BUT then my head kicks in and I start thinking about the morning sickness (I get it really bad), the labour, doing the school run with a bubs, the night feeds ...... and I start to talk myself out of it!! I'm just feeling a bit lost and my poor DH is sick of me saying "yes let's do it!" to "No just wait, I'm not sure!" I'm not sure what I'm after with this post but any advice would be great!
Thanks

[sockstealingpoltergeist]

I feel the same way.:yes: Do you think you will regret it if you don't?

[little miss messy]

I think I will. It's being 2 years since we've started talking about it, with TTC on and off in that time, and as much as my head keeps telling me no, my desire to have another is still there.

[kjw125]

We too had the same confusion. do we, dont we! But I think we have now decided that we would never regret it if we did but there would always be a chance that we would regret it if we didnt. We are also about to lose a very close friend through illness. Helps put things into perspective. If you both want it just do it. No regrets, the rest will sort itself out.
good luck

[Mangrovejane]

We were in the same boat...Do we, don't we...the questioning went on for 7 years...we have had our third 4 months ago and it was the BEST decision we ever made. I also got morning sickness very badly with my first two (my first pregnancy I LOST 20 kgs) but I have to say, besides feeling bone tired all the time during this last pregnancy and hating the smell of dinner cooking, I had no morning sickness and I generally felt great!!!

Good luck with your decision. :) My own has been a joy :)

[mks]

This is me too! Although, we are nowhere near even thinking about a 3rd seriously yet (DS is nearly 3, DD is 7 mths), I do think about it all the time. In my heart I want another. I can't bare the thought of not going through it all again (the good parts) but my head thinks "I can't go through it all again" (the scary parts :laughing:). I guess I'll wait and see how DD goes over the next few years. If she is a bit easier to handle than DS maybe we'll go back for more. If I knew I didn't have to go back to work I would definately have a 3rd. However, I do need to work and 3 kids will make that need greater (financially) but it will be harder to work.. see the viscious circle??? Do I stay happy with the 2 I've got and provide for them as best we can, or do I give them another sibling but less in another sense?

I am no help!!!!:laughing:

[jdesha]

We are in a very similar situation. DS is 5 and DD is nearly 4. We have both liked the idea of a family of 5 for years and finally aggreed on the timing being right for us, only to suffer a miscarrige at 12.4 weeks. Now I am reluctant to try again and feel quite happy with our family of 4. I know it is only early days (D & C 6 weeks ago) and my mind may change. I guess I am questioning everything again ie. financially how would it impact, how a baby would fit in with school and kinder runs, and dynamics within our family. Having said that, I do feel that in years to come I would be thinking what if... if we didn't have another child.
Very confusing and no help at all, but I guess we all need to listen to our inner selves and trust our instincts!

[sagigemi52]

Man it's like I wrote that post myself coz we are going thru the exact same thing. I had awful ms for 9 months 2nd time around and it just about put me off for good and then there was the 2 hr labour which horrified me.My heart says yes and then I start thinking and my head says NO!! We keep being told if we wanted it that bad then we wouldn't even question doing it, but why can't i stop thinking about the cons?? I would hate to fall pregnant then be so sick i spent 9 months wondering why i did it to myself. Logistically speaking I too wonder how we would do the kindy/school run but I wonder if this is just worrying about something trivial coz at the end of the day we will just have to do what we have to do...whether its to wake up the baby or change feed times. I think we all stress about the what ifs but when bubs actually arrives all those things fly out the window. Hey, I think i mite have just answered my own dilemma!! Good luck, but remember I reckon it would be awful to have regrets about not trying for a third coz that would be the biggest what if. Let me know your thoughts!

[little miss messy]

Thanks for all of your replies - I have been without a computer for 2 weeks, hence the slow reply!!

Well I am now off the pill and we will see what happens!! I still have my doubts, but I feel like if we don't try then I will regret it - so we will see what happens!!:)

[kjw125]

Good luck! We are waiting one more month and then we will go for it too! YIPPEE

[pixiemum2]

Same problem here. Day in day out I go through the pro's and con's. I can't decide. Hubby is 100% behind me if I decide I want another, The thought of another baby excites me and I get that nervous flutter but the thought of labour, sleep deprivation and the craziness it will bring makes me back off. As someone else said you can never regret having another but there may be that regret if you don't. Too many what ifs for my liking :).

[kjw125]

Hi pixiemum2, I noticed the age of your children. Really close together! I can understand why you would be happier now they are getting older! It is a hard one! We chose a large gap between 1&2. 3yrs 7 months. It has made both very easy, but we are now TTC, and if happens straight away there will only be 18 mnths between 2&3..... Crazy! We have gone with the theory - we will never regret it, but there is that thought that makes me hold my breath of just how crazy things might become!! I am more nervous about this one than any of the other 2!! Sounds mad hey!
Good luck with your decision. and enjoy the fact that your 2 babies are growing up! And good luck if you do decide for 1 more :sunshine::sunshine:

[theirmummy]

Hi ladies :wave:

I think I am in the opposite situation I think...my heart is telling me to enjoy DS2 (who we had after quite a big gap) and let him grow up being the centre of our universe and surrounded by love from his parents and big siblings, yet another part of me is thinking that he needs a playmate his own age.

Is needing a playmate a good enough reason to have a baby?? I don't know any single children to know how they felt growing up. I am back at work and in a good routine and feel that things are so good at the moment that I would be tempting fate to have another one

I would not regret having another one, but I don't think I would regret not having another one either!

Am ttc at the moment but this thought only occurred to me this morning. Oh so confusing!!:confused:

[theirmummy]

It has made both very easy, but we are now TTC, and if happens straight away there will only be 18 mnths between 2&3..... Crazy!

I had 19 months with DD and DS1 and loved it! They play together now really well too :) Good luck

[kjw125]

I had 19 months with DD and DS1 and loved it! They play together now really well too :) Good luck


Thats what I am hoping for! my sis and I are very close in age and we are still Best Friends now! and if it doesnt happen then at least I know that a larger gap is a little easier on me! !!!

[little miss messy]

Well I thought I would let you ladies know that I got a BFP today!!! So I guess the decision has been made and I will be a mum of 3 after all!!!:)

[V8]

Congrats :D

[KerriO]

congratulations

[kjw125]

:yelclap::yelclap:
Well I thought I would let you ladies know that I got a BFP today!!! So I guess the decision has been made and I will be a mum of 3 after all!!!:)
:yelclap::yelclap::yelclap:

YAYAYAYAYAYAYA

Congrats! I am thrilled for you!!! Congrats! Hope to join you with the BFP soon