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alufolie
06-09-2009, 19:30
Well I didn't know what to expect for my termination. Google wasn't much help - actually it was the opposite.
My ex came with me, which wasn't the best choice I've made. But since all my close friends and family are interstate I had no choice.
Firstly the receptionist was really rude - made me feel like a sheep.
secondly the consultation made me feel awkward. first she said when i stepped on the scales that I was too skinny to have a baby
(i don't know if that was meant as a joke) and secondly i have a new pet rabbit that isn't tame, so when I pick it up, it scratches me. when
she noticed these she said i can tell you have been hurting yourself. (seriously wtfbbq lady)
ultrasound - wasn't much better, i got told how far along i was (that's fine) and when she asked me to sit down, and was writing in my file, she
didn't put the ultrasound picture upside down, or inside the file - she just left it there, and even left it there when she had to leave the room,
so i had to look at my little baby for about 2-3 minutes (heart breaking)
next - the last time i had a general anesthetic, I had my wisdom teeth out and I woke up during completely paralzyed and screaming. it was horrific and
ive suffered to some extent - post traumatic stress disorder since. so I asked not to have a general - yet I was told at my stage I would need to.
I didn't have time to discuss - I was just moved into another room to get changed. halfway through this old man just bursts into the room (yep
obviously since i'm having a termination there's no need for my dignity right?!.) and starts talking to me about administering my anesthetic. he has
a comically drawn face and his hands look shakey. The doctor then comes in to get me and also my ex comes into the room.
With everyone coaxing me, everything starts to spin, my legs start to shake uncontrollobly - tears just start rolling out and everyone is looking at me.
I'm ushered out to reception with my mascara running, in a gown - with couples and women staring at me. I feel so low. I ask to put my clothes on,
because it's all too much what what has happened this morning.
I'm told to take a walk around the block and to come back. I do this and I come back, i was then ushered into a room with the doctor whom asked me what my problem is - i said I was scared of being put to sleep. without my Mum or my best friend being here - I felt really scared and that was the only thing holding me back. She then tried her mumbo-jumbo psycology on me, trying to convince me that it wasn't
But that's all it was, because i know with clarity what my decision is.
I had a horrible car ride home with the ex, he drove like a lunatic and scared the hell out of me. He threw my bag out my car and i fell into
my front door in a heap of tears. I haven't heard from him since - well he did say that because of what happened today, he won't be speaking to me
ever again.
That's my termination story. I'm still sitting here since yesterday, going completely mad second by second. (As you can tell, I'm not very emotionally strong) :confused:


alu x

CrankyAndTired
06-09-2009, 19:43
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Can you call your mum or best friend to come give you some support?

Myztiks#1Fan
06-09-2009, 19:47
:hugs:, i agree with livly, can you call one of them and talk it through. i honestly cant begin to imagine how you are feeling right now but it really could help to talk it through with someone.

:hugs:

sunnymummy
06-09-2009, 19:49
Poor you. What a awful experience.
I am so sorry you had to go through that.
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

twotrunks
06-09-2009, 19:53
You poor thing, what a horrific experience. It sounds like the ex was no help at all :(
I really hope you are able to get some support from someone you trust to help you with this awful time.
TT

bada
06-09-2009, 20:07
Hi Alu , I had read some of your other posts before this one and I just wanted to send you some of these :hugs:The past couple of months must have been so hard for you, and to have it all end like this I can't even imagine how you are feeling.

I just hope that you are able to get through this time and come out with your head held high on the other side. I hope you can confide in your friend or your mum, because I think you really need a shoulder right now. If you can't, then remember you always have all of us here on bubhub, anytime you need support. :hugs:

alufolie
21-09-2009, 11:29
Hi everyone - I just wanted to update this thread as I kind of dissapeared off the forum. I didn't end up going back to have a termination, it wasn't right for me and I had just felt intense pressure from my ex boyfriend to do it.
I was given the bad news that my bubba's heartbeat had stopped last week after I had bleeding and I've just had a d/c.
I had an amazing week with my little one before she decided to pass on - we bought her a bassinet - little clothes and her first teddy bear. and I felt so desparately horrible that I even had the thought that I wasn't going to bring her into the world - but she's obviously got her own path to follow now and when the time is right I will meet her again one day.
Thank you everyone for your kind words above - I really appreciated it :hugs:
Alu

SomewhereOverTheRainbow
21-09-2009, 12:14
:crying::crying:
I couldn't not reply to your post...big :hugs: for you and the journey you've been through lately. I hope you get to meet your sweet baby again one day soon. :hugs: