View Full Version : Well....
After all the other threads and stuff that have been started it thought i would start my own.
Is anybody else in this section totally sick of all the "you have circ'd your child you're a monster" threads lately??
I chose to circ my son, i dont have a persecution complex, i researched it, i made an informed decision, nothing anyone says will change the fact that it was done, i am quite frankly over this whole subject. How do you ignore something that is shoved in your face 24/7, i no longer enjoy Bubhub as i am over being made to feel inferior for choosing to parent my child defferent. How else do you tell people to butt out, leave well enough alone, mind your own business.
Sorry for the rant. :banghead:
I'm with you IJ! i'm sick of everyone judging us for making an informed decision. its not like i judge parents who choose not to circ their sons.
i think ppl just assume it is painful etc etc and ppl dont make informed decisions, i am happy with my choice, and i think my boy will benefit from it for the rest of his life.
i also know my DH and dad don't hate their parents because they did it.
what also annoys me is 'if its popular or not' who cares if my sons wont be showering in the boys locker room with other boys who aren't or are.
arrghh i could go on and on about why ppl should circ their sons but its none of my business .. im just happy my son is contributing to reducing the risk of tramitting STIs and cervical cancer, UTIs and all the other 'advantages' of being circ.
I was abused by a midwife at my hospital because i asked for a reference for a doctor to do it. I was a new mother, 21years old with a 2day old baby, and she made me bawl my eyes out because my choice was not her choice. I am sick of people trying to force their opinions onto me. Judge away, but dont tell me about it i am sick of hearing it.
Blueberry Crumble
31-08-2009, 04:18
I am not pro-circ, but I haveto agree with you ladies.
What you do with your boys is your business, and I too am tired of all these circ threads.
CrankyAndTired
31-08-2009, 04:26
I chose to circ my son, i dont have a persecution complex, i researched it, i made an informed decision
Me too. :yes: I am also over all the anti-circ judgment dressed up as "discussion." :no:
:hugs::hugs::hugs:
benzjewlz
31-08-2009, 06:38
After all the other threads and stuff that have been started it thought i would start my own.
Is anybody else in this section totally sick of all the "you have circ'd your child you're a monster" threads lately??
I chose to circ my son, i dont have a persecution complex, i researched it, i made an informed decision, nothing anyone says will change the fact that it was done, i am quite frankly over this whole subject. How do you ignore something that is shoved in your face 24/7, i no longer enjoy Bubhub as i am over being made to feel inferior for choosing to parent my child defferent. How else do you tell people to butt out, leave well enough alone, mind your own business.
Sorry for the rant. :banghead:
:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:
First of all don't be sorry for the rant i totally agree with you my ds is done also and i am in the same boat as you about feeling that my fav place to unwind(bubhub)is turning out to be a place where i now don't even want to be.
Fuchsia!
31-08-2009, 06:51
Im not pro circ at all but i thought i would let you know that these topics come up, they get hammered then they move onto something else.
Vaccinations haven't had a good go for a bit or C/S's so i think they will be next. I have been on here for awhile now and i have seen the cycles. Its comes and goes and new topics get discussed a lot and it moves onto something else.
HugsBunny
31-08-2009, 08:35
I agree with Jaxcoop in that Bubhub goes in cycles. I think in this instance though, this particular cycle of circumision talk seems to have gone on a bit longer than it normally would.
And I'm with you ladies too - I'm finding bubhub a rather boring place to be lately due to all the circ threads. It's not just the judgements that get up my nose but the assumptions and all that goes with them.
I use the New Posts button and it would be really nice if there was a function to be able to block the Anti RIC section - least then I wouldn't have to see all the thread titles etc etc.
Ah well, here's hoping everyone gets bored soon and moves on to breast vs bottle or C/Sections soon :laughing:
DreamBelieveAchieve
31-08-2009, 08:44
I am neutral on the subject of circumsism. I say each to their own. What i don't see is why people get ridiculed for something they chose to do when in all honesty it can't be un-done so MY opinion there is no point to the cyber bashing that is going on because its not going to change the fact that you chose this for your son/s.
:hugs:
delirium
31-08-2009, 08:55
Me too. :yes: I am also over all the anti-circ judgment dressed up as "discussion." :no:
Same. How many you feel guilty, it's a human rights issue, it's the same as female circ threads are we meant to endure, without becoming defensive? I have tried very hard to respect the anti circ POV, but really, respect goes both ways. Whilst some anti circers can discuss the issue without being rude, others can't.
I just feel frustrated at constantly having to defend my decision and also the myths around circumcision. Around 25% of the bubhub community circ, that would be roughly 7500+ members, yet only a few will reply. Wonder why :detective:
Im not pro circ at all but i thought i would let you know that these topics come up, they get hammered then they move onto something else.
I agree there. We've copped it for a couple of weeks without a break, soon it will move to ffers, cc'ers or feminist/anti feminist. I find it all a bit exhausting. I like to debate but I often reach a limit when there are a dozen topics in the same subject matter and it gets a bit old. ;)
:iagree:with you all and hooraaay for this thread :yelclap::yelclap:.
It's no secret to anyone here how p!$$ed off I have been with the constant questioning over a desicion myself and my husband made for our sons....which is certainly no-one elses bussiness. Whilst this is still perfectly legal...it's in no-ones right to question our choice.
Opinionated
31-08-2009, 12:11
I know you all feel like you are targeted, but anti ric advocates see it as targeting the act, not the parent. I know personally, I see it as a human rights issue. Those who choose ric do not see it this way, they see it as a parenting choice which means they feel like their parenting is being attacked.
The majority of people like me who are strongly opposed to ric, are not strongly opposed to other parents. I know myself that to have this procedure performed you have to find a doctor, pay money etc. etc. Not something that a parent who doesn't care does. I know that you do it with the best of intentions.
Mumof4, yes, it is perfectly legal but that is what I want to change. I don't want parents to be able to have this choice. While I agree that it may not be anyone's business what you choose for your child, I think it is everyone's business what parents can and can't choose to decide for their kids.
I am not anti-pro circ parent, I am anti circ. There is a big difference. I am not asking any pro-circer to defend their decision, rather I question our system that lets parents make this decision.
BazzasMum
31-08-2009, 12:12
:iagree: Totally over it. If someone has a problem with their parents circ'ing them as a child, take it up with them, don't take it out on the rest of us!
onabreak
31-08-2009, 12:16
I am so over it aswell. We got our DS circ'd and we have never felt what we did was wrong, I believe it was the best thing to do for our son.
I think people should just mind their own business and keep their opinions to themselves.
After all the other threads and stuff that have been started it thought i would start my own.
Is anybody else in this section totally sick of all the "you have circ'd your child you're a monster" threads lately??
I chose to circ my son, i dont have a persecution complex, i researched it, i made an informed decision, nothing anyone says will change the fact that it was done, i am quite frankly over this whole subject. How do you ignore something that is shoved in your face 24/7, i no longer enjoy Bubhub as i am over being made to feel inferior for choosing to parent my child defferent. How else do you tell people to butt out, leave well enough alone, mind your own business.
Sorry for the rant. :banghead:
:iagree::iagree::iagree: I had enough for sure.
~Temet Nosce~
31-08-2009, 12:47
While I have vowed to never circ my own son unless medically necessary, yes I am sick of it. People need to learn to be more tolerant of others ways of life, parenting etc.
SassyMummy
31-08-2009, 12:48
I don't believe that those who circumcise their children are monsters either... DP is circumcised and his parents are lovely. They did what they believed to be the best thing they could do for their son... and while others might disagree, they did it with their heart in the right place.
I think this is such a difficult topic to comment on, because it's so personal and because it's hard for anti-circers to comment on the practice without, indirectly, commenting on the parents who choose to use the practice.
I feel for the women on here who have circumcised their sons doing what they believed to be the best option... only to be treated as if they are nasty and wrong, removing the rights of their children.
What annoys me most here...NO-one would even know which child was circ if there were a heap of boys out playing..no-matter what age they are or what they are doing. Unless they go looking down boys pants..IRL they'd have no idea :no:. Yet, online we are treated asthough we have mamed and crippled our sons... my boys and ,my husband are perfectly happy with their bodies. None are embarrassed or feel we (the parents) have hurt them...it's the anti ppl who are the ones that are eventually going to make our sons feel like they should dislike themselves and us as their parents simply because the majority is against us :mad:
I'm over trying to defend our decision to nosey ppl who ask questions when all the answers are already out there.
Im not pro circ at all but i thought i would let you know that these topics come up, they get hammered then they move onto something else.
Vaccinations haven't had a good go for a bit or C/S's so i think they will be next. I have been on here for awhile now and i have seen the cycles. Its comes and goes and new topics get discussed a lot and it moves onto something else.
:iagree:.
It will all move onto something else soon enough.
FF, Vaxxing, CC, C/S... They all have there time in the spotlight as well.
Wont be long before the focus shifts.
Yes i know what you mean about the threads changing subject, but three anti-circ threads in one week, thats taking things a bit far in my opinion.
Mumof4 i know exactly what you mean.
Fuchsia!
31-08-2009, 21:38
Yes i know what you mean about the threads changing subject, but three anti-circ threads in one week, thats taking things a bit far in my opinion.
Mumof4 i know exactly what you mean.
Thats good! I remember there was like 6 threads going once about vaccinations!
And once there was this whole crapola that was going on, it was a massive FF vs BF debate that went on for about a month, it was thread after thread!
Thats good! I remember there was like 6 threads going once about vaccinations!
And once there was this whole BBB crapola that was going on, it was a massive FF vs BF debate that went on for about a month, it was thread after thread!
Really!! I suppose i dont pay much attention to those subjects because im not all that worried what other people choose to do with their kids.
Im an Anti-crusaders worst nightmare :laughing: i circ, vax, smack, CC, and FF (did BF for 8mths though). Im all for minding my own business, i wish others would too. :goodvibes:
HugsBunny
31-08-2009, 21:49
Im all for minding my own business, i wish others would too. :goodvibes:
*high five*
I remember way back before there was a discipline/infraction system, it was SO much worse then.
*high five*
I remember way back before there was a discipline/infraction system, it was SO much worse then.
:flowerz:I just hit my 1001 post :yelclap::laughing:
:eek: I could just imagine what that would be like, its bad now and there is a system, i think its because some po=eople are good at wording their posts to sound non-nasty but they really are.
SalTheGal
31-08-2009, 22:02
Im not pro circ at all but i thought i would let you know that these topics come up, they get hammered then they move onto something else.
Vaccinations haven't had a good go for a bit or C/S's so i think they will be next. I have been on here for awhile now and i have seen the cycles. Its comes and goes and new topics get discussed a lot and it moves onto something else.
lol, Yep...we even have bets going amongst Mods from time to time as to which contentious topic is going to cop a battering next!! :D
I know you all feel like you are targeted, but anti ric advocates see it as targeting the act, not the parent. I know personally, I see it as a human rights issue. Those who choose ric do not see it this way, they see it as a parenting choice which means they feel like their parenting is being attacked.
I am not anti-pro circ parent, I am anti circ. There is a big difference. I am not asking any pro-circer to defend their decision, rather I question our system that lets parents make this decision.
Whilst thats great that you feel this way- alas its threads like this (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=215960&highlight=parents) (titled: "do you think badly of parents who circumcise bubs") that make us who choose circumcision for our sons totally persecuted and isolated within the forum.
I learnt a long long time ago to steer clear of any of the circ discussions...these days I don't even open the threads, I made my choices for my sons based on my research and much heartfelt thought....I don't need to defend my choices to anyone.
lol, Yep...we even have bets going amongst Mods from time to time as to which contentious topic is going to cop a battering next!! :D
ooo!! really, What are the bets for the next one??
:laughing:
SalTheGal
31-08-2009, 22:25
Well we haven't had any contentious religion threads for a while....and Vax has been quiet too- thats about due for a revisit!!
My bets are on the FF vs BF debate.
There is already a breast feeding thread so there are bound to be spin-offs :)
delirium
01-09-2009, 07:10
Yes i know what you mean about the threads changing subject, but three anti-circ threads in one week, thats taking things a bit far in my opinion.
Maybe you've missed a few, they've been lots more than that lately.
Whilst thats great that you feel this way- alas its threads like this (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=215960&highlight=parents) (titled: "do you think badly of parents who circumcise bubs") that make us who choose circumcision for our sons totally persecuted and isolated within the forum.
That's one of the threads that really sticks in my mind too. :yes:
After all the other threads and stuff that have been started it thought i would start my own.
Is anybody else in this section totally sick of all the "you have circ'd your child you're a monster" threads lately??
I chose to circ my son, i dont have a persecution complex, i researched it, i made an informed decision, nothing anyone says will change the fact that it was done, i am quite frankly over this whole subject. How do you ignore something that is shoved in your face 24/7, i no longer enjoy Bubhub as i am over being made to feel inferior for choosing to parent my child defferent. How else do you tell people to butt out, leave well enough alone, mind your own business.
Sorry for the rant. :banghead:
totaly agree:thumbsup:
just a question (this is the first pro circ thread i have pop up, as i usualy only hit new posts rather than go into the topics) even though it is clearly in the pro circ section, do you still get anti circ people come in and tell you off? (im not really anti or pro but i have seen some anti circ people in this thread who have a realy good attitude and are not judgemental towards pro circ)
SalTheGal
01-09-2009, 08:33
just a question (this is the first pro circ thread i have pop up, as i usualy only hit new posts rather than go into the topics) even though it is clearly in the pro circ section, do you still get anti circ people come in and tell you off? (im not really anti or pro but i have seen some anti circ people in this thread who have a realy good attitude and are not judgemental towards pro circ)
Being the pro circ section means that any posts that are negative towards members who are choosing circumcision can be deleted by the mod team, as per disclaimer at the top of the page
For those wanting to ask questions about the procedure, medical practitioners, after-effects etc. Any attempts by viewers to tell viewers why they shouldn't circumcise will be removed.
Being the pro circ section means that any posts that are negative towards members who are choosing circumcision can be deleted by the mod team, as per disclaimer at the top of the page
early morning syndrome, i didnt even see that part. thanks salthegal
HugsBunny
01-09-2009, 15:26
You think this is all directed at you. It's not. Your one of the ones that can discuss it calmly. Many of these comments from us come from lots of bad experiences from many members, some now banned.
:iagree: My post in this thread certainly wasn't directed at anyone at all. Merely pointing out that I'm sick of all the threads about it due to previous experiences and quite nasty name calling that I've had to endure.
Like some others have said, I don't even bother with the circ threads anymore.
happyluvy
01-09-2009, 16:36
ok so i dont have kids YET , but i do plan to Circ if i have boys in future. And im sick of it all too!
I know ive come into this a bit late, but im thinking this thread seems to go off into its own little world again with ppl wanting to know WHY... WHY this, WHY that, EXPLAIN this, DEBATE that ... is it so hard to just accept that ppl make their own choices? ... IMO some ppl just need to back up and let it go!
as someone else mentioned i think the topics go around in circles ... ive already been bitten in regards to porn, and circ, hmm whats next!!
I think ill just lay low and keep my opinions to my self on the hub ... far too much controversy and having to 'disclaimer' everything you say ... meh, whatever!
sorry for my own little rant there :o
i can just imagine how those who actually have kids and have circed their sons must feel. Big hugs and support to you all!
:wave:
SalTheGal
01-09-2009, 18:06
Don't forget that the majority of these posts would have by now been deleted/editted by the Mod team- so you will most likely not find too many examples that are truly offensive to those who choose to circ their sons. This is one area that is pretty heavily patrolled by the mod team.
KatiesMum
01-09-2009, 19:32
Bada - please dont get me wrong, I am not saying that your opinion is right, wrong or otherwise. I am not saying that you should not voice that opinion, or that the issue itself and your ideals not be discussed.
You asked why the pro-circ'ers were seeing your recent threads as judgmental, and I was explaining their point of view.
Discussion - of RIC as a concept, and whether or not it should be accepted in society - should be done in the 'Discuss It' section. Thats what its for. The reason that seperate sections were created is because the 'anti' and 'pro' circ ideals are just so far apart that there doesnt appear to be much in the way of middle ground, and each side DOES feel judgement from the other.
This thread is just where one side is feeling a lot of angst right at the moment.
Just one other thing .... the mods do get busy, especially when a number of areas are active all at once. If you have reported an offensive post, and the post has not been edited or deleted, please pm a mod. We do try and delete any offensive or attacking posts, but sometimes they do slip through the cracks. Anyway - if you re-report the posts you find offensive, we will have another look at them for you.
:goodvibes:
benzjewlz
01-09-2009, 19:40
What annoys me most here...NO-one would even know which child was circ if there were a heap of boys out playing..no-matter what age they are or what they are doing. Unless they go looking down boys pants..IRL they'd have no idea :no:. Yet, online we are treated asthough we have mamed and crippled our sons..my boys and ,my husband are perfectly happy with their bodies. None are embarrassed or feel we (the parents) have hurt them...it's the anti ppl who are the ones that are eventually going to make our sons feel like they should dislike themselves and us as their parents simply because the majority is against us :mad:
I'm over trying to defend our decision to nosey ppl who ask questions when all the answers are already out there.
:yelclap::yelclap::yelclap::iagree:"well said"
A number of off topic posts have been deleted. This thread is not the place to be rehashing arguments from other threads. Further off topic posts may attract infractions.
Thanks to all who have contributed positively to the thread.
Cheers
Im about to have my son circ next monday to be exact. Ive never posted about it and during polls ive never commented about it, although my DH and i do have a chuckle in response to what others have said.
My DH would love to know.....
Why is it when men comment about a woman whether it be her hormones pregnancy etc they get fogged off yelled at and told they dont know what their talking about so should shut up. BUT yet women are allowed to voice their opinions on genitals they dont have, have never used (other than for pleasure) and criticise to the point of condemning and in some cases abusing others, over information they have read/sourced
Please dont think i put that up to aggravate
Just thought id say hi its nice to know there are some supporters out there :wave:
Im about to have my son circ next monday to be exact. Ive never posted about it and during polls ive never commented about it, although my DH and i do have a chuckle in response to what others have said.
My DH would love to know.....
Why is it when men comment about a woman whether it be her hormones pregnancy etc they get fogged off yelled at and told they dont know what their talking about so should shut up. BUT yet women are allowed to voice their opinions on genitals they dont have, have never used (other than for pleasure) and criticise to the point of condemning and in some cases abusing others, over information they have read/sourced
Please dont think i put that up to aggravate
Just thought id say hi its nice to know there are some supporters out there :wave:
Maybe get your DH to post that question in the discuss it area and it should get a response.
Cant go into it here ars this is the Pro Circ area:).
some of us are men.
and i dont know whats so funny about men opposing female circumcision.
firsttimemumvmr
09-09-2009, 21:13
Well, I started researching this topic because originally my husband and I decided to let the kid do what he wants when he's old enough but then again, I read articles in favour and they got me thinking. As I continued to try to read more so that we could be better informed I came across sites which are completely against, many of which seem to contain pretty bizarre statistics (such as the O'Hara book which goes as far as to claim that sex satisfaction is massively reduced for the partner of a circ'ed male and that it can potentially ruin your relationship). I found this statement completely at odds with my own experience (have had both types of partners, current one, DH is circ'ed and he's the most compatible with me sexually so far). We are still weighting up pros and cons but yes, I have come across a lot of people on some sort of crusade. This site is not the worse, believe me, I have come across very abusive comments in others, literally abusive!
I totally agree that parenthood seems to awaken this compulsion in people to judge others and make them feel inferior, stupid etc. I had a c-section also (breech baby) and I got that too in other forums. Ridiculous claims saying that I was even putting my baby in danger. Well, giving birth to a large breech baby didn't sound any safer to me. As for breastfeeding, the same goes. I actually did breastfeed but some friends who didn't got all the stigma too. There is just no end with parenting, then it will come to other staff like the school you chose etc. I even got to be classed as a sort of 'princess' or 'prima donna' for going to a private hospital.
All I wanted is unbias information but due to the fact that this topic aroses such passions, I often feel that the info available is often misleading. In the end, I guess, we will have to trust our instincts.
I do seriously believe that there are advantages in circumcision, however the anti lobby seems a lot more vocal in society at present.
happyluvy
10-09-2009, 07:25
In the end, I guess, we will have to trust our instincts.
:iagree: :thumbsup:
i think as the parents thats all we can do darl! As long as you trust your own instinct then you do what you have to! dont worry what anyone else has to whinge about!
:wave:
firsttimemumvmr
11-09-2009, 02:09
:iagree: :thumbsup:
i think as the parents thats all we can do darl! As long as you trust your own instinct then you do what you have to! dont worry what anyone else has to whinge about!
:wave:
I guess the problem is that both myself and DH are still undecided, so the instincts are not too strong one way or the other. I can see advantages with circumcision as I said. However, I do fear that our boy may wished we have left it alone when he grows up if we go ahead with it. I have also come across a lot of groups who drone on endlessly about how much circ'ed men are missing. I'm not totally convinced that this is the case. DH had no choice in the matter in his case and obviously cannot talk comparatibly but he's perfectly happy as things are. Of course, he is a pretty strong person psychologically so reading all this stuff is not making him feel insecure but that maybe different for other people, especially teenagers for instance who might become very worried about missing out.I'm beginning to suspect that many males who strongly and passionately believe that their parents decision was wrong have probably been influenced by anti-circ talk. DH admits that he had never given the issue much thought until we started reading and trying to come to a decision for our baby.
happyluvy
11-09-2009, 10:52
I guess the problem is that both myself and DH are still undecided, so the instincts are not too strong one way or the other. I can see advantages with circumcision as I said. However, I do fear that our boy may wished we have left it alone when he grows up if we go ahead with it. I have also come across a lot of groups who drone on endlessly about how much circ'ed men are missing. I'm not totally convinced that this is the case. DH had no choice in the matter in his case and obviously cannot talk comparatibly but he's perfectly happy as things are. Of course, he is a pretty strong person psychologically so reading all this stuff is not making him feel insecure but that maybe different for other people, especially teenagers for instance who might become very worried about missing out.I'm beginning to suspect that many males who strongly and passionately believe that their parents decision was wrong have probably been influenced by anti-circ talk. DH admits that he had never given the issue much thought until we started reading and trying to come to a decision for our baby.
All i can say is darl, that you are the parents, you make the decision. Dont let anyone choose for you.
We have made our decision. DH is also circ and couldnt care less!. So the fact that our boy might come back and have a whinge, well doesnt bother us! We trust that we can raise him to be strong and confident and not care what other ppl think. Thats the kind of families we have, and the environment we live in. We are who we are and thats it.
Best of luck with your decision! :goodvibes:
I agree we should not be made to feel ashamed, I def dont as i know that i made the right decision.... And im not about to let Bubhubbers who dont agree with me make me feel like a bad mother... Each to there own...
Its some what humerous i think :laughing:
I agree we should not be made to feel ashamed, I def dont as i know that i made the right decision.... And im not about to let Bubhubbers who dont agree with me make me feel like a bad mother... Each to there own...
Its some what humerous i think :laughing:
Oh and i dont Judge others for not being....
firsttimemumvmr
11-09-2009, 12:27
Thanks everyone for your support. We're more for than against as things stand and it's true that if we raise our child to be confident hopefully he will be. It just got me worried that some males have posted very strongly against it because they had it done but it could well be that this is the minority. DH for instance is not someone who tends to worry about things that don't need worrying about. This may sound *****y on my part but I do wonder if some people blame circumcision for their bed troubles or spend too much time campaigning to actually get themselves a partner.I might sound obsessive about the topic myself but I know this is just a temporary thing because we want to make an informed decision and it will be harder on the boy as time passes.At the end of the day, people are bound to judge us on many issues not just this one and people who do know us in real life know we aren't monsters.
some males have posted very strongly against it because they had it done but it could well be that this is the minority
As a male myself, who has talked with many males about it - I am 100% sure that these 'men' are the minority. I have yet to meet someone who is circ'ed (other than on Bubhub) who actually wishes they weren't. And I have spoken to alot of men about it as I find the comments on here also quite amusing.
firsttimemumvmr
12-09-2009, 14:40
As a male myself, who has talked with many males about it - I am 100% sure that these 'men' are the minority. I have yet to meet someone who is circ'ed (other than on Bubhub) who actually wishes they weren't. And I have spoken to alot of men about it as I find the comments on here also quite amusing.
As I said before DH never gave it much thought until we had the baby and we have been up and down since but both undecided. He was cir'ed and he's perfectly happy but we just want to make sure our decision is right but there is too much campaigning generally for us to be able to clear our heads, to be honest.
delirium
12-09-2009, 14:45
Just do the research, ignore others and decide for yourself, firsttimemum. I never realised circing was so controversial until I came to BH. We circed and we don't regret it, but if you decide to, be prepared to grow a thick skin here. ;)
firsttimemumvmr
12-09-2009, 14:47
Thanks sweetheart, I came here specifically because I knew this site was moderated. I come from England and live in the US and I have seen worse, believe me!
i agree completely, i have friends who are in that debate and have told me that my opinion is wrong and cruel.
i dont have a son, but my brother has 2 and refused to circ them, but only coz he wasnt. my daughters father and i spoke bout it if DD was guna be a boy and we agreed it would be our choice to do it...
my current dp belives that circ is the way to go.
im all for everyone has their own choices to make in regards to their children but i hate how some people are making others feel bad because of their own personal choice, its the same with the breastfeeding/bottle feeding debate going on atm and the home birth/hospitial birth...
its all a matter of person choice. let others do what they want to so long as its safe and doesnt ''hurt'' their child permanetly.
As a male myself, who has talked with many males about it - I am 100% sure that these 'men' are the minority. I have yet to meet someone who is circ'ed (other than on Bubhub) who actually wishes they weren't. And I have spoken to alot of men about it as I find the comments on here also quite amusing.
It seems women are more annoyed with it being done than males are.:rolleyes:
CrystalMumOfTwo
12-09-2009, 21:37
I am not pro-circ, but I haveto agree with you ladies.
What you do with your boys is your business, and I too am tired of all these circ threads.
:iagree: :hugs:
I am pregnant with a little boy and i have so many questions on this topic, but with all these threads latley im to scared to ask them for fear of being abused.
happyluvy
15-09-2009, 15:31
Dont worry Mrs J... around here it seems to be a bigger controversy then necessary.
Maybe take a look at all different areas and just decide for yourself, on your own research... Im pg at the moment (dont know what sex yet - we are going to be circ if its a boy though) ... but just a bit of advice - take everything around here with a grain of salt! :yes: Some threads get nasty!
Remember, Your the only one that can make the decision for your bubba. Best of luck!
:wave:
I am pregnant with a little boy and i have so many questions on this topic, but with all these threads latley im to scared to ask them for fear of being abused.
Please don't be frightened to ask questions. After all this the pro circ thread section, So most of us have gone through it and may be able to answer.
Thanks Girls :yes: Do i have to have a "Good" Reason to do it ?? Because We dont have a so called reason we are just doing what we think is best for him. My husband is done, and so is my dad and they have both said they agree with getting it done, that they both have not had a problem with being done. with all these threads around etc its really making me second guess my decsion even tho its what we want. i have to think what if im doing the wrong thing.
SassyMummy
16-09-2009, 14:49
I am pregnant with a little boy and i have so many questions on this topic, but with all these threads latley im to scared to ask them for fear of being abused.
I tend to avoid posting my opinion in these threads lately because it is a bit like that.
I don't have questions to ask, but I can imagine how daunting it must be... seeing nothing but debates in circumcision section, or people getting all up in arms about one side of the fence or the other...
It really sucks that you're feeling like you can't ask a simple question for fear of being bombarded with negativity and having your thread turned into a big debate, full of ethics and whatnot.
I tend to avoid posting my opinion in these threads lately because it is a bit like that.
I don't have questions to ask, but I can imagine how daunting it must be... seeing nothing but debates in circumcision section, or people getting all up in arms about one side of the fence or the other...
It really sucks that you're feeling like you can't ask a simple question for fear of being bombarded with negativity and having your thread turned into a big debate, full of ethics and whatnot.
I have to admitt, the questions are the main thing that annoys me. The anti circ's/ric's keep asking for answers as to why we have made this choice. The answers are all out there...there is no more answers...Certainly none that will please those against circ/ric.
The bottom line is...we parents are legally allowed to make this choice and NO reason will ever be valid enough for the anti's, so why do the anti's have to keep prodding for a better explanation :confused:
ETA> thanks to all for the support in this thread :)
Princess Drama
16-09-2009, 15:33
I didnt have any of my sons done, but I'm a bit taken back at the barrage of anti circumcision threads. I feel sorry for you guys there are so many that I cant count them.
One of the reasons Ive lurked for so long is I feel intimidated by a lot of the discussions here and how aggressive they get.
happyluvy
16-09-2009, 15:50
See thats the thing, we, or anyone else for that matter on any topic, should be able to ask questions and not be hounded into the ground about it.
Isnt that the whole point of this website after all? for parents to support one another? Well thats what i thought anyways... meh whatever, thats a tad op, sowy :p
Princess Drama - i just wanna say thanks for your understanding! :shakehands: I think you might be the first person to even show any understanding IMO! :yelclap:
Mrs J - i was the same, Dh and his dad etc are all done. And speaking to ppl IRL around me all agree its best. Then i came here and i was like what the?
All the hassling and nastyness really gets you down!
But you know what - at the end of the day, Dh and I are the ones that makes the decisions for our kids, and we say what goes... AND THATS THAT! Simple really!
:goodvibes:
Dont be afraid to ask questions in this section, it is here for a reason, and it is 'kinda' insult/judgement free.
Some off topic posts have been deleted. Just a reminder of the context for this section:
For those wanting to ask questions about the procedure, medical practitioners, after-effects etc. Any attempts by viewers to tell viewers why they shouldn't circumcise will be removed.
This is not a circ debate area.
Cheers
Thanks Girls :yes: Do i have to have a "Good" Reason to do it ?? Because We dont have a so called reason we are just doing what we think is best for him. My husband is done, and so is my dad and they have both said they agree with getting it done, that they both have not had a problem with being done. with all these threads around etc its really making me second guess my decsion even tho its what we want. i have to think what if im doing the wrong thing.
If you feel it is the right decision then go for it, but make sure you reasearch a bit, and find a highly reccomended doctor.
The reason i Circ'd my son was, a) family history on both sides of needing a circ later in life, my SIL's DS needs one soon and he is 3. b) i live in the tropics and i asked my doctor how many cases of infection he treats in a year, he said about 4-5 and sometimes more, thats just my doctor, there are about 15 doctors in my town, so thats about 50-60cases in my town alone (which is a small country town), c) you can teach a child to wash properly, but will they actually do it?? How many 6year old boys will eat their vegies just because they were told to?? d) both my DF and my family have all circ'd males. e) I felt it was the right decision for me and my family, i stand by my decision, so does my family. You have to do what you feel is right for you and your little boy. Good Luck:)
Some off topic posts have been deleted. Just a reminder of the context for this section:
For those wanting to ask questions about the procedure, medical practitioners, after-effects etc. Any attempts by viewers to tell viewers why they shouldn't circumcise will be removed.
This is not a circ debate area.
Cheers
Thanks.......
firsttimemumvmr
17-09-2009, 00:42
Ok, please bear with me if the formatting of my post is funny because I have been having technical issues which I'm now trying to fix.Now, I hope I'm not violating rules here by expressing how I feel in terms of being a parent faced with making a decision in this regard. I know this is the 'pro' section and I will not post against. I happen to bear more in favour as it happens. I won't preach either but I'll very briefly share my experience so far with this topic. If this post is not admissable, please do kindly let me know and feel free to delete it, if needed be. Since the anti section puts forward reasons for, I guess it's also allowed for us to put reasons forward in here in the 'pro' section, not just names of doctors, advice on after effects ect. I live in the US so I cannot possibly advise re doctors in Australia and so forth.Okay, for you guys who have shared how you are feeling about an impending decision, this is my case. Basically, I'm trying to say, you're not alone.In terms of family backgrong (pressure of lack of it): I come from an Anglican (Protestant) family in England where circumcision is not automatic in infancy in terms of tradition. DH's mother was Jewish and his father Christian (but he didn't practice). They both died in an accident when he was 5 and he lived with his aunt who is Jewish in name but that's about that. She hasn't even attempted to influence our decision (she's childless herself and happy to morally support us whichever way we go), so there is no family pressure on his part and on mine, there isn't either. My sister in law (on my side of the family) has a boy and two girls and he's not done but like Dan's aunt, she thinks it's up to us. Dan, my husband was done a few days after birth as per the Jewish custom. Now, this is our first child and we originally decided to let the decision to him when he grows up. However after some reading, we both became of the mind that there are some advantages. I believe just about everyone involved in this topic has read many, many pros and cons etc, etc. Encountering reasons against wasn't a problem to me, especially since both DH and I wanted as much info as possible and as unbias as possible.One problem we have encountered is that many sites are either pro or against and both fairly combative, although I must say the 'against' more so in my humble opinion. The medical ones in terms of association, in my view sit on the fence. They tend to say things like: "we don't recommend it as routine" which I view as there isn't enough evidence to make the whole population have it or recommend to that effect and pay for it from say insurance or a taxpayer funded organisation. However, both the Australian and American one admit there could be advantages but they only say that there is no sufficient evidence to drastically recommend it for all.I do try to debate openly and fairly to the best of my ability but yes, I have felt a little weighted down by people just saying: it is an infringement of human rights period. I would say that's debatable and I have tried to put my point to them, not to persuade them to circumcise their boys (God forbid! - not my style) but just to play fair. This being said, there are many 'anti' members who are perfectly respectful and even some have personally said to me that I seem to debate fairly, or words to that effect, which I feel very flattered about.Okay, Dan and I are trying to make a decision based on pragmatic medical grounds but respect those who are doing it for religious/social reasons etc as well as we respect those who don't want it done to their kids.The only thing I have an issue with forumwise is that many have said that it's okay to be 'for' as long as we are not trying to convince others. As stated before it's the last thing in my mind to try to convince others, especially when I'm still on the fence myself. Yet again, I found it (and said so) a bit odd that they can try their best endeavours to convince people not to do it and we're seemingly not allowed to do likewise.Now, in terms of advice I can give, well, only support about the rollercoaster you must be going through (like us). Anyone is welcome to pm me for stuff I might have read in order to share etc. All the experience I can give is that of the partner of a circ'ed male who has no problem whatsoever with his body or psychologicaly with what was done. Dan is not a member at the moment but we have talked about this forum so if you want to ask a question to someone like him, I'll pass his answer on or get him to join.From an 'academic' point of view my biggest frustration is that both sides seem intent (the 'anti' more so but this is just my personal opinion) on discrediting the other.If anyone wants to take a look (sorry my system is playing silly games and won't let me post links here) try the American Academy of Paediatricians website. They are not 'for' in fact they don't recommend 'do it' but they are not overtly against either and present arguments for both sides.I hope this helps, even if just to say, you're not alone.
firsttimemumvmr
17-09-2009, 00:43
As I said before, I have technical issues. I can't do paragraphs here. I understand it makes it hard to read.
firsttimemumvmr
17-09-2009, 00:51
Oh, I have just re-read my post and spotted something that might sound ambiguous in not a very nice way. When I quoted people just dronning on human rights I didn't mean for a minute that they were disrespectful or that they hadn't presented any other arguments, just that sometimes that was their answer to a slightly more specific question, but then again we all do that. It's very easy to go on a slight tangent when one feels passionate about something. I totally understand and I'm guilty of it myself.I know I tend to put a lot of notes like this but since this topic is so sensitive, I rather err on the side of caution, since I have jumped the gun in the past myself.
firsttimemumvmr
27-09-2009, 14:33
I didnt have any of my sons done, but I'm a bit taken back at the barrage of anti circumcision threads. I feel sorry for you guys there are so many that I cant count them.
One of the reasons Ive lurked for so long is I feel intimidated by a lot of the discussions here and how aggressive they get.
I know what you mean, hun.In fact I was talked about as one of the most civilised 'pros' and I was proud but it got to me in the end. I left a fairly unfriendly comment in the discussion theat, but the person making it was a bit bullying in my humble opinion. Basically he was very bashy about a lady who claimed that having a boy circumcised wasn't a breach of human rights. I was a lawyer for a living until I had my boy and believe me, it's not that clear cut! (pardom the pun).
To be honest, I think real tragic talk should be reserved for real tragedy. DH as I said is FBI, he shot someone and was devastated! The guy shot him (DH) in the arm first. He was in pain etc, still he questions his decision to shot to kill. Not nice and Dan is one of the nicest people on earth.
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