Offer of accomadation for my brother to be released

[mumofjay]

Hi seen this section and thought i'd ask some advice and have a rant
So i recieved a letter from my big brother last week asking me to write him a letter of accomadation for the parole board because i'm his "last hope".
Now my brother has been in and out of prison since he was 14 he is now almost 35, he was/is??? a drug addict, and has done ALOT of break and enters.
He has ripped off our mother and our brother and my father and my step father aswell, also just at the start of this yr he was free it seemed like he had changed his life he stayed at my place as did my whole family for xmas brought all his neices and nephew presents (he has never done this before) it was the first xmas we've had together in 10yrs, i then busted him smoking pot in my shed having a conversation with my 10yr old while doing this not to mention my little BIL's (9yr and 10yrs). i told him to go do it else where and if he ever done anything like that infront of the boy's again he'd be wiped from our lives.
So needless to say i'm not going to write the letter but my problem is my mum :( i don't know how to tell her that i don't want him at my house, as she feels we should all try and help poor D he had a hard life growing up blah blah blah, he never knew his real dad, everything is just poor D poor D and me and my other bro are over it, i rang my other bro as soon as i got the letter and he said he recieved the same thing, trying to put the guilt trip on us that if we don't do this he's gunna miss out on 5 yrs of his life and he's gunna miss seeing my DS grow up (well hello u've seen him 3 times in 10yrs) so my other bro said he was going to write the letter but won't actually have him in his house because of his girls and job and how far he has pulled himself out of the world that he was in, and doesn't want to get dragged bak down. Sorry think i just needed to vent just don't wanna be the b!tch of a sis that has never done anything to help grrr. Sorry guys:ecomcity::ecomcity:

[loving6]

:hugs::hugs:Your job is too be a mum to your kids first. I am sorry it's his problem if he has burnt all his bridges not yours. Your not a b@#@h if don't help.

[mumofjay]

Loving 5 - thanks thats exactly how i feel and protecting my son from the lives myself and borthers had when growing up is my main priority as it should be my brothers aswell. i ended up talking to mum last night and i was actually really surprised by her reaction, she had Told D not to ask me for a letter and not to ask for money or anything and to think himself lucky if i even write back to him after the cr&p he pulled at xmas and said she was going to tell me to say no to him because he needs to grow up and realise that we are NOT going to always be here to bail him out!! so i feel less guilty now because thats what i was most worried about was mum's reaction.

Now i just have to write the letter back to him and let him know he won't be getting an offer from me!! *sigh*

[Whispers]

I recently had my brother released from prison into my house on parol he was put back in jail a week later as he never stayed here, I gave him a chance although he didnt really do anything wrong he didnt inform parol of changes so was returned to prison to serve his remaining sentence if you don't think he has changed all will ever change then don't do it.

[loving6]

I'm glad things went well with your mum.

[V8 Crewy]

Do the crime, do the time.

Sounds harsh maybe but sometimes its the only way people learn.

Good luck with your letter, Sorry have no advice other then that.

[Boobycino]

Your a mum to your children first. And you need to protect yourself.

Your absolutely right to not take him in.