Hi Honey I'm Home!

[mollyk99]

Hello and I'm back... we've been away for 10 days and I've missed bubhub and all the amazing parent's I've met....

How's it all going? Linda, how are the new 'girls', and how are you coping with it all?

[Loopy Linda]

holidays??? i een searching all of bubub for you! had something i wanted to say other day but lost it now.

so where did you go? kids like it? i want a holiday!!!

see told you i missed you! after you answer all my questions i want to hear about holidays!

[mollyk99]

Well, it'll take me a bit to answer all of that but first I must say you sound happy and positive:

Fast notes:

Talk to DH... number 1 rule for you to both enforce in your house immediately is 'Never In Front Of The Girls'...
eg, anyone (MIL, SIL, anyone) opens their big yapper and starts, you chop 'em off at the knees immediately...
"Happy to talk about that but Not In Front of the Kids'... after you've repeated yourself 90 times that'll buy you some thinking space. Also, kids like these will lurk around doorways and listen constantly even when you think they're asleep. Its an insecurity thing and it gets worse if they get the slightest sniff that someone is 'trying to take them away' etc etc.

Ear Piercing... simple. Not Til You're 13 - or whatever age you decided. (repeat until you are sick of your own voice, lol.) 'But Mum says I caaannnnnn....' 'Well, your uncle and I have decided that we don't want you to yet. We'll talk about it again on your next birthday depending on how you're behaving.' (that'll buy you some time for another excuse, lol.) Unless you really don't mind!

Food - its a security thing. They may not have had regular meals, and occasionally gone hungry, or whatever, so they'll eat whatever they can, when they can. Stealing food is part of the same thing. We went through it, it's mostly gone away now. One trick we used was to put the breakfasts out on the table the night before.... set the table, put the cereal there, set up the cups etc. They went to bed reassured there'd be a meal in the morning. Same with school lunches, made them in public the night before so the girls could see their food was there. Also talked about what we were cooking for tea the next night.

Lying is a pain in the you-know-where, and you're just going to have to be consistent. 'Now, I know you're lying. I love you, you don't need to lie to me.'
'Now, that's a lie, and lying hurts people'. 'No, I don't want to hear that if it's not true'. Just keep repeating and repeating and repeating.

You could try a star chart, a star for each day with no lies and a 'treat' at the end of the week/month (ears pierced perhaps, rofl)

I'll read this again tomorrow and see what I missed but I need to go to bed.

Holiday was Mt Hotham skiing with the girls. Left DP and the boy at home. It was sensational.

Keep in touch!

M

[mollyk99]

Just as I was heading off to bed I thought of something else we did.

you know I was saying Routine is the Only Way??

We made/have signs.

Flush the Toilet (with pictures)
Wash Your Hands
Wipe the Handbasin
Shoes Go Here
Lunchboxes on the Bench Please!
Bedtime is 7.30 (with picture of clock).

I know it sounds like Nazi Germany but it really worked. I made them in Powerpoint and printed them and laminated them and they are all over the house stuck up with blu-tak.

Everyone was therefore never unsure of What To Do in any given situation.

Going to bed now!

[Loopy Linda]

grr my mil is a cow!

[Loopy Linda]

grr having a tough weekend

[mollyk99]

Hey Linda,

oh gosh, I know exactly how you feel, I remember this bit well.
I'm just tearing out the door to work but if you PM me I will give you my contact details if you want to chat.

I'll post up tonight as well.... stay strong, all will be well.